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Funny, I haven't been on here much at all the last couple of years and still the same people still "looking." Looking for what exactly? I'm going to guess just hook ups because if you really wanted a relationship, you'd be in one. |
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Wow, there are a LOT of people on this site that really need to get the fuck over themselves. |
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I am NOT one of the guys. Do NOT fucking tell me about the fucking skanks you hook up with. |
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Not sure how much longer I want to keep looking for something that doesn't exist. |
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Stop fucking telling me I won't find what I'm looking for. Try telling me something I don't know. |
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The last picture, me in the purple shirt taken 3/11/15, 89 lbs gone. |
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Yet another "holiday" to remind me I'm alone and unwanted... |
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And the Patriots win it all!! Suck it Seahawks!!!! |
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It amazes me how many people live in such a fantasy world...just read some of the journal entries...and even their profiles...like anyone is going to believe they're real...
God I'm so fucking done with this site...I am not going to find what I want and need. |
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So tired of all this fucking Fifty Shades of Gray shit... |
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GO PATS!!! DO YOUR JOB!!! |
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Why is it so wrong to want to love and be loved by a dom/daddy/master? Why is it so hard to find him? |
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I don't know why I bother... |
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I'm not going to apologize for being a strong mature woman. My years and experiences on this earth have made me who I am. I'm very real, I don't bullshit and play games. I will always be honest and true to who I am. My submission runs deep when the connection has been made with the right Dom. |
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Why do the men on here have pictures of women in their profiles? I would rather see a picture of your dog if I can't see a picture of you. |
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I've said it before and I'll say it again...I crave to serve...I need to submit... |
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You had real in the palm of your hand...and you let it go... |
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Let's get this straight...I'm NOT bitter...I'm NOT angry...What I am is FED UP with the bullshit and lies. There IS a difference... |
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Down 63 lbs and feeling great! |
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I just love being called closed minded because I'm not interested in long distance relationships. Really? Whatever... |
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It didn't work out. I had to be honest and tell him I just wasn't feeling anything. It sucks because we were looking for the same things and on the same page but I just didn't feel anything. I have a feeling I'm just never going to find the right one and I'll be alone for the rest of my life... |
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It's been eleven weeks since the surgery and I'm down 35 lbs. I've been back to the gym regularly and feeling great. Now if I could only find the one who will accept me as his |
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My heart aches to love...to serve...to give myself to the one who will love me back...The one who will cherish me for who I am and what I have to give to him and grow it to something better than it could ever be for his pleasure. |
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I have so much to offer...and yet no one seems to care... |
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So 2013 is coming to a close taking with it heartaches and joys...struggles and accomplishments. My relationship ended after 5 yrs., I've met my grandchildren, got my butt back into the gym regularly and purchased a new car.
2014 promises to be a good one for me. With the help of my doctor I've started the process for gastro bypass surgery. Even though I've been working my butt off in the gym and changing my eating habits the weight just isn't coming off. This is an exciting and scary endeavor for me but I'm so looking forward to it.
Happy New Year!!
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So over the past 8 months since my relationship ended I've come to realize I was in more of an abusive relationship than one of SM...
When we first started out it was exciting and yes I endured pain for him but as time went on he became more extreme in his deliverance of said pain...there was no build up...he would hit as hard as he could...occasionally he broke skin...he left bruises that lasted weeks...he slapped my face so hard sometimes my jaw near my ear would hurt for days...he hit me in the face with dildos and once hit my nose so hard I thought it was broke...it hurt for days...he would grab or slap my leg so hard while we would be driving somewhere bringing me to tears not caring that others could tell I had been crying...he kept me on my knees so long my legs went numb and would hurt so bad I couldn't stand for at least 10 minutes if I did get up I'd get so light headed and actually passed out on him once...he shoved things in my ass that just didn't fit causing excruciating pain...he slapped me in the head over and over sometimes...once actually leaving a small lump...
I would scream...cry...thrash about even though restrained to the bed but he would continue until he wanted to stop...which wasn't right away...
Over the 5 years we were together he also contradicted himself because he would say he didn't like my reactions and wanted me to enjoy the pain because it made his cock hard when I moaned with pleasure...but yet he didn't make it so our sessions were enjoyable...well very...very...very....rarely did he...he would also say he didn't even enjoy fucking my ass and that it did nothing for him yet he did it...he would also say things like he wanted to have conversations when we weren't in sessions because he didn't like the silence yet I'd try to tell him things and not 2 minutes...if that...into the conversation he'd say "you're still talking?"....so there was a LOT of silence unless I talked about him...
I've come to realize...this is NOT the type of relationship I EVER want again...
I want to be loved....cared for....respected...listened to...
Yes I can and will take SOME pain...but NEVER like that again... |
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I will not chase you...if you are interested in me...PROVE IT |
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This is not just about sex to me...I can get that anytime...anywhere. This is more...this is about my relinquishing control to ONE man who will be my Dom/Master for a long time. This is about building trust and respect for each other to explore our desires and yes it's about love as well.
Far too many on here just want to add notches to their bedposts and while there may be many skanks on here willing to spread their legs for you...I am not one of them. I want and need more.
This type of relationship goes far beyond the bedroom for me. |
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I NEED to serve...I CRAVE it...it's who I am...it's in my blood...but I am NOT looking to serve everyone...I want and need just ONE |
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A little while back someone told me they felt my last relationship has jaded me. No, it did not. It did teach me what I like and don't like which I think everyone over times learns this. But the one major thing it did do which seems to lessen my chances of finding someone is it took away ass play. I used to enjoy it when done with care and not so big things but my former thought it would be fun to shove things in there that just didn't fit and caused excruciating pain. Will I ever do ass play again? I don't know but if it were to ever happen again, it would have to be done with care and nothing really big. |
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You wouldn't know a real, true submissive if she were standing right in front of you. All you see is what's on the outside...not what's within.
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What's with the guys on here with multiple active profiles??? Do you really think you're fooling anyone??? |
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I don't want to be something for everyone....I want to be everything for someone. |
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Funny how some just don't know how to read... |
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I will not compete for you attention nor will I share. You either want me or you don't. If you do then get rid of the profile and stop looking. If not then release me now. |
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Things don't seem the same... |
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Today marks four years as Master and slave. |
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While on here to write in my journal I saw a new name listed on the side that caught my eye...NO I'm not looking...the name just caught my eye.
So I read the profile and it sounds just like Master. I do hope he's not on here searching for someone else. If he is then I want him to release me now.
I will not be used until a replacement is found. That's not fair to me and I could never forgive anyone for doing that.
Especially not after four years.
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We're coming up on four years soon. We've had many ups and downs but we seem to work through them.
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The Holiday Season is officially here and per the norm I have NO clue what to get Master for christmas...
UGH!!! |
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I hate when Master goes away :( |
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Master is letting me get a new tattoo...I'm finally going to get the tiger I've wanted for some time now...Thank you Master |
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Master told me he will never release me and that I would have to ask him for release...Well that's NOT going to happen...He is my Master and I love him more than ever!!! |
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Three years and still going...
I never thought it would go past the first meeting...or the first session which was our second meeting...
But here I am three years later...slave to Master...
I am very happy  |
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My new slave name is haven...and I love it :) |
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We're coming up on 2 1/2 years. Sometimes I feel I'm living a dream. I never thought I'd find the Master I so needed.
(ps...why won't the freaking text change to the color I want?) |
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I love Master very much...He is all I ever wanted... |
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The bruises still tender...the muscles still sore...all pleasant reminders of who I am...and who I belong to. |
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I screwed up...Yesterday was mine and Master's actual anniversary...
Two years and like I told him...although he collared me in April I have been his slave since the day we met....
It's been a very exciting two years...I've learned a lot about myself and truly know this is who I am and I want nothing more than to be the best slave Master could ever possibly have...
I hope for many more years...
I do truly love you Master....
slave |
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It will soon be two years with Master...Time flies when you're having fun :) |
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Master is amazing...I'm still learning so much about who I am with him...
My love and devotion to him continue to grow... |
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We're coming up on a year and a half as Master and slave and it just keeps getting better...
He is pushing me to new limits and I am growing into the slave he wants...
I love Master very much... |
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I love when the pain lingers days after Master has used me... |
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Obeying isn't so hard when you know it's pleasing the one you serve and love...
Thank you Master |
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I love Master more and more every day |
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Master's words to me...
You are a slave...
You speak with your actions...
You speak with your behavior...
You speak lastly with your words...
My response...
Yes Master |
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It's a part of life...but it still sucks...
Master's father passed away last week |
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I accepted Master's collar a year ago yesterday. I have grown so much in this year and will continue to serve him and wear his collar proudly.
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One year ago today I met Master...and we began our journey... |
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Just taking a peek and saying yes Master and I are still together...He talks a lot of future things and even someday 24/7...
He gave me a claddagh pendant for Christmas that I wear everyday...He has spoken of giving me a slave name that will reflect what I mean to him...
I never thought I could feel this way about anyone again... |
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As you see I don't come here much anymore as there is no reason to. But from time to time I like to give updates for any who may care...
Master and I are doing very well still. He is very sadistic and I'm loving every minute of it. I never thought I'd crave the pain.
He continues to mold me into his perfect slave.
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Master and I are still together...Six months now...and still happy |
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To the Admin team of Collarme...
For the past two weekends I have been locked out of editing my profile and journal for a period of 24 hrs. The reason, something to the effect of violating TOS of the site and being informed that said piece should be removed from the journal.
I would like to say that neither my profile or journal violate any of your TOS of this site, unlike many that I have read.
My profile and journal entries are truth and what I'm finding is many don't like to see or hear the truth.
I know the Admin of this site have the ability to see everything that goes on with profiles, journals, and even emails. You can see that I have done nor said anything that is wrong or violates the TOS.
If there are those on here that do not like what is written in anyone's profile or journal, there is a lovely little feature that this site offers, called HIDE. If you press that lovely little button on said profile that offends you in any way, a miracle of sorts happens, the profile actually will disappear from your view and you will never see said profile online again. Isn't that just an amazing feature that this site offers.
Dear Admin of collarme, I would suggest to you that instead of removing ones ability to speak freely, that you write to those that are complaining and tell them to use this marvelous hide feature. Therefore, everyone can exist in harmony. |
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If what you seek is a mindless, uneducated twit, that submits to everything and everyone, and is easily manipulated...move along...That's not d/s...
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Update on school...I made the Dean's List again...this makes five times. I started two new classes this week...and have 14 weeks and three classes to go...I just want it over. |
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ROFLMAO...Gotta love this...While reading profiles I come across many submissives on here with their long laundry lists of what they want and don't want...
but I think this one is funny...I won't respond to anyone with lord, master, sir, or any other title in your name because she does not feel that one needs to proclaim such if they are a true dom...It's just a screen name...Get over it...
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If you decide you wish to write to someone...and hope to get a response back from them...Please check and make sure you have not blocked them... |
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I tried a corset on at the flea today...
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I'm going to my first fetish flea...I'm nervous but I can't wait. I wish I had something more fetishy to wear...is that even a word?? LOL |
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This site is messed up...I log out but when I come back later, I'm already logged in even though I had previously logged out...So if it appears like I'm online...I'm not always... |
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Disillusioned:
I’m not sure where to begin…I’m not bitter…far from it…I’m not a fake…far from that as well…I’m not angry…I’m not a bitch…well ok I can be a bitch…J
Jaded?? Maybe…Frustrated?? Yes…Disillusioned?? Definitely…
A true d/s relationship is built on trust, growing together, learning from each other what it takes to make the relationship work and develop the power exchange. Too many seem to want quick fixes, play, sex, self gratification without regard for who they are getting involved with.
What happened to morals in this world? Respect?? Caring??
When did it become so in and ok to be with people way too young/too old for you? There is nothing in common outside of the kink…the kink doesn’t last forever…you can’t do it 24/7…you have to have something in common to talk about. Before the accusations start…I’m in no way jealous of young naïve little things that think older men are all that. They use women in their own age range as quickly and easily as they are using you. There are a lot of men in your age range that are great guys. You don’t know much about this life and you say these guys don’t either…well if you take the time to get to know them and learn about each other…gee…it just could work and gee…you both gain experience…WOW what a novel idea…D/S relationships are about that…about growing WITH each other…learning ABOUT each other.
I’ve come to the conclusion that men in my age range can’t handle a real, true, deeply submissive woman, and that is why they go to the naïve little thing. That tells me, you’re not much of a dom then. You all say you want a real submissive. What you really want is a brainless twit that you can manipulate…not dominate. There is a huge difference.
When did it become ok to treat people like shit, to use them, weaving your web of lies, not caring what you’re doing to them emotionally and physically, because there are some that use d/s as a means of abuse.
When did it become ok to cheat on someone you are married to or in a relationship with?? I’m not talking about a poly or open relationship. I’m talking flat out cheating on someone you at one time said you would love forever…and according to some profiles I read, still love. Yet you’re on here cheating on them. And those that get involved with married/or otherwise involved people, what is the purpose? Do you honestly think that person truly cares about you? How can they, when they don’t even care about what they are doing to the one sitting at home??? And do you honestly think that if that person leaves their significant other to be with you, that they are not going to cheat on you as well??? Is your self esteem that low that you feel you can’t do better than that??
When did looks signify true submission?? I realize there needs to be a mutual attraction between two people…that makes perfect sense, but when did being thin and hot make one more submissive than anyone else. When did looks become so important in this world that we treat anyone that doesn’t fit that mold as nobodies?? Way too many place way too much emphasis on the outward appearance of others. True submission comes from deep within, not the outside.
I’ve only been actively seeking a dominant man for about three years now and it has been a very long and discouraging three years. I have talked with many, both male and female, that have been into d/s. Some for years, some just as new as me and I’ve learned a lot about who I am and what I want and don’t want.
I am deeply submissive. I know this. It has been in me forever, I’ve just not realized it before. I know I can handle and want a true d/s relationship.
One thing that has come up in talking with some of the doms is, the d/s lifestyle has changed a lot over the years due to the introduction of the internet. It has become a playground for those that are just interested in kinky sex, not real d/s relationships. I’m not saying that just wanting kinky sex is a bad thing. We all want and need different things.
It is just truly sad and pathetic watching all that goes on online and even out in the real world. So many have lost the meaning of what it means to be human. To have morals, respect, and to care about others.
I’m sure many will have something derogatory to say to this…the sad thing is…those that will or even think it about me…know I’m speaking truth…
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Oh this place is killing me...My sides are hurting from all the laughing.... |
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How can anyone be an expert at something? That would mean you know all there is to know about that thing...and I believe there is always room to learn... |
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I have not mentioned school in a while...Well I've made Dean's list twice already and pretty positive I've done it again this Mod...I will know definately in about 2 weeks when grades come out...Two new classes on Monday...Happy Thanksgiving everyone! |
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My submission comes from deep within...it's a craving, hungering need to serve one that proves he's worthy...it is not given away to just anyone... |
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I have been called a challenge...are you up for the challenge?? |
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I guess it's not ok to suggest to a dom how to edit his profile.... |
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I find it quite interesting how many say they want real...yet so very, very few know what real really is... |
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I love the soap opera feel of this site...it's quite amusing... |
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If you can't handle monogamy...You can't handle me |
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I will be starting school on August 13th...it will be a course in Executive Office Assistance which will go for approximately 9 months...For this time and for obvious reasons I will not be able to relocate
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I find it extremely amusing how when you turn someone down...the insults start coming your way... |
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If you are married or involved with someone in any way...PLEASE put that in your profile or in your first email...that way there is the option of saying no thank you before you engage in conversation. |
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Slaves are human...we are not perfect...we strive to be the best we can be for our masters...but we are not nor will we ever be perfect...If you are seeking perfection and can't accept the fact the slaves by virtue of being human will make mistakes...then you will never find what you are looking for. |
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A slaves feelings are real and valid and a true master will always realize this and work with her to help her grow with him to make the relationship work...A slave should never be told her feelings are not important and mean nothing...Yes he may have the final decision...but her feelings and thoughts should be taken into consideration... |
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Actions speak louder than words...Actions with words speaks volumes! |
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Ok so it seems not only do people lie about their ages on here...but some actually lie by having multiple active profiles... |
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I have a question...why is most on here don't change their age...I've talked to many over the couple of years I've been on here and they all seem to still be the age they were a couple of years ago...It's not that hard to change it people...just be honest and put your correct age up. |
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So tired of the bullshit... |
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Another year has passed...A year older...A year wiser...A new year begins...A year to grow...A year to learn. |
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Where the HELL is the purple font I've used before??? It seems I can't get it anymore. |
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It's springtime, the season of new beginnings. So when do my new beginnings begin?? |
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Isn't it ironic how people speak of honesty yet can not speak honestly?? |
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If all you see is what's on the outside, then you have NO clue what a true sub/slave looks like. |
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True submission comes from the heart and soul.
The subslut is no more
The Trusub has emerged. For those of you who knew me as subslut4u1062 she no longer exists. I am a true sub/slave and not a game player. |
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