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Male Switch, 40, Los Angeles, California
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Female Submissive, 42, Ottawa, Ontario
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Female Submissive, 42, Ventura, California
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About trueblackgodess
Its a new year everyone, and with it comes new changes.. THIS is the year where new experiences, friendships, foundations are formed and solidified. I am seeking both MALE/FEMALE sub/slaves. Iwish those whoare in the lifestyle to be self sufficient and be able to improve my quality of lifeand you must be someone who is into bbw's. I am not a pro domme, however, for those who come into my area, (Philly) will have to travel and make the arraingements for such visits, according to my schedule.
I am open to speaking, and getting to know others who are in the lifestyle, for this is a constant growth for me as well. I cannot accept a 24/7 slave in my household. I am in a relationship, and he does know and is fully aware of my doings.. NO secrets. I receive MANY responses so of i do not get back to you right away, i will as soon as i can.
I am also interested in cd/trancd, bimales/females, transgendered I am also looking to build a poly household.. i love that style simply because all things do not fit everyone.. I am the type of gives attention to each indivual as their need fit them. if this is of some interest to you, please drop me a line.
thanks.
True. |
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wow.. what do i write.. when so much has happened over the last few months.. well lets see.. for starters i met this very nice guy who has turned out to be a wonderful friend and sub.. of course as they always are, eager to get to the collaring and the accepting of them right away.."chuckles' of course those who know that generally, these type of things do not work that way.
it has been a good few months since our first conversation. Ive had two sessions with him, and it was fun. I forgot how much energy it takes to flog someone, and it isn just the sub who may need some after care.. lol..Boy was i tired..and i think i slept for hours later on that evening.im still on that trect tofind and fulfill my dreams of having a complete poly household.. so far its only been play partners..and for now(because of vanilla life circumstances).. that is what fits me best.. the thing about this though is that i can still give time and attention to those who interest me.. I miss those with whom i have built a solid foundation though.. I do hope to get back to them one day soon.
I am happy to say that i did manage to have a hell of a summer that consisted of hot sessions, and some adult work.. it is strange when you meet some one and they become and unexpected surprise. it was an experience that will forever stay with me.. a shame the way it turned out the way it did though.."shrugs" what can youdo.. people come into your life like the seasons of change. some have greater inpacts then others..but what ever you do..find the beauty in it.
Im almost done with school.. and with that..comes the question of . NOW WHAT.. now where.. how to proceed forward. with what you do. folks i will keep you posted.
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ok, so its been a while since i have written here, and its been a buzy few last months.? I am still in search for that sub/subs to become apart of the household..but since then i have made a few new playpartners/friends.? Unfortunate part, is that i dont get to see them as much as I would like.?
I remain hopeful , that i can find that person/people who share the same ideas, ideals, commitment to this lifestyle like myself.? there are too many nay sayers, and game players out there.? Temporary players, who feed into the idea of worshiping and becoming a sub/slave to a woman like myself.. its frustrating.??
Then there was something that gave me hope.. I got to recently attend the collaring ceremony of my trainee to his mistress of just over a? year.? It was the most beautiful thing to watch, and i was proud to give him away... It was beautiful to watch as this man kneeled to his intented and confessed his devotionand love to her..and she accepted.. I was so happy for the both of them.. Wasnt a dry eye in the house..!
? So now, here i am.. working hard on other things, while trying to branch out.? ive been able to make it to a few events here and there..and meet some people.. buut nothing solid yet... In the mean time.. i am working during the day, and my studies in the evening. For a while, i was doing some volunteer work for about six months straights before i started my work study program..
i have found that as hectic as it is,it can be fullfilling especially when I am helping students... Not sure I would want to be a teacher.. but helping others is my thing.. i guess its the Sag in me..lol
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ok
so the new year is here officially as of 20 minutes ago.. Somethings are left behind, some things you let go.. (no matter how much it hurts) and somethings.. wont change.. which can only mean one of a few things: it will eventually, or its not within your human powers to change it.. now matter how badly you want it. So, for those who are reading this.. here are some realistic goals that i think that we all can take a look at.: Self improvement, Realistically setting goals that can be accomplished with some hard work and elbow grease.*grins*.. Financial improvement: its tuff out there, and we all have to find a way to survive it. even if that means learning put aside pride to get the job done.
Improvement of family:.. Because of what we go thru, it tends to put a rift or change the energy of the family or the relationship between couples. Improve on it.. work hard at it.. If it is to be.. then it will be.
Folks.. learn to love self in a positve way to extend that to others.
Thats my wisdom for the new year. |
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I swear, i dont know why some of these men continue to try me, to see if I will bend. What is it when men seek to give over the control or so they say, but try and play mind games.. ? I dont get it, like some of us arent smart enough to tell what their motives are, when they can be read and seen as transparent ass seran wrap?.. I have rules that I am very adamant about espeically when it comes to inital meetings. I NEVER play on the first date/meeting. I find that to me, if you do and are ready to *give up your stuff* so easily, then you are not your worth , in gold. There are so many out there apparently, that STILL have to learn, that even in this lifestyle, intially when one see a woman that is attractive, a person like myself, although flattered, looks beyond that. Physical contact can be attained from anywhere. I guess that is why perhaps, I do not have my quality sub/slave yet. But he or she is out there waiting. to become the other half that shall complete me. I realize that because of what I have done as an entertainer, and the pictures that I have taken, it is par for the course. One seems to forget though: If one is chosen, based on SOLEY on the nature of the flesh, how much value can the D/s relation ship truly be? |
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I realize today that I too as a Domme, never stop learning or growing even in different situations. I have always adored, and supported my best friend, mentor over the years as we have become close confidants. Today I for the first time since I found out about her got to meet his current lady. I find the ironicy in the situation, because as I was getting ready for our breakfast meeting, I was nervous trying to find the right thing to wear. It almost felt like the Master of the house was bringing home a new play toy. I smile at the sentiment. Is this what poly subs go thru when new additons are added to the house? Do you go thru the emotional changes as you see the person who means everything to you, take notice in someone else like you.? I know what you are thinking.. is that the seed of a hint of jealousy rearing its ugly head. Perhaps on a small scale., considering that I have loved this man for six years, while being trained and mentored for two and a half...
We do have a history.. there is no denying that. It was strange, sitting on the other side of the fence today, watching this woman, and looking into my mentor's eyes. I tried not to look to hard today to betray what my emotions were saying to me as I spoke of our many experiences together. While I was telling the stories, she asked the , or one of the ultimate questions..*why werent the two of us ever together?*.. Admiting the truth was a pill , a big pill that I had to swallow, but I am proud of myself, I got thru it> As I told her why my best friend and I never went further, in my heart it made me realize even more that I loved him then, and I love him still. The day progressed and we laughed. I found out later that the stories of what were, enticed her, and as I know him to be, he handled his business. I am also sure that he will ask me, or want me to tell him wht my true thought were. Will I be able to is the question. perhaps in a few days, time will tell. I am proud of myself, because i looked BEYOND my female emotions and spoke to her and requested a promise from her that if she was the chosen one to win his heart, that she would do all she could to take care of him for me. I spoke very highly of my mentor, my friend, my passion, and gave the advice that i would give to those who are worthy of his attention? be open, be kind, Learn from him as he teaches , and with that become something that he can learn from as well.
On that journey back to the city, as i watched the scenery wiz buy, i felt both a sense of loss and joy at the same time. It brought a tear to my eye, watching him thru the mirror, as he smiled at her. It was awkward, and I ws nervous, but i was proud of my accomplishments. I am evolving still. |
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It has come to my attention that the more i practice with those who are into getting their backsides whacked, spanked or what ever you so desire to call it.. the more i REALLY ENJOY it. Especially after today.. the well toned and defined sub today that ihad a session with was... defintily delicious. His physique was tall and lean but his back side as soon as he got naked was..exactly to my liking. Has having a nice ass on a male especially if you are into spankin as much as i become a fetish for me? The concept of a firm smooth mound of skin and muscle.. ripe for the pluck.. or slaping.... no flab, all muscle.. i ve got to tell you though a paddle is definitley needed. if you have a strong hand use it..but a paddle might save u some trouble. I look forward to the next timei can leave my mark. |
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It has been aminute since ive written in my journal, so here it goes. The latest update is dealing with the personal emotions of everyday life. Trying to find a job, and going up against the hundreds of others with the same predicament as me.. cand be alot on the mind.
Enough about that... As this path continues, I still have not found aperson/people to call my own.. ive come across some interesting people.. to say the least, and I have come across some assholes who wish to go into a tirade about the fact that as a Domme I like forced bi. The immaturity of those who are clueless. Thus I blocked that person from every contacting me. The other site I am on, has proven to be very good at finding at least friends to speak of.. although I did come across a really nice couple.. it hasnt stopped me. I went to the club last night with the couple and had a blast.. I/we got the opportunity to see and speak with other vet lifers and For the first itme, I sat in on a sub discussion. It was very informative. I also realize, that while iI loove playing with males.. i would love it EVEN more..if i could find a female.. I watched this domme with her pet last night, and got t he chance to speak with her. she was awesome. *sigh* some day I will have that.. until then.. keep hope alive..*grins* |
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Ive been having a good two days, and my progression of finding what works for me sub wise is still a work in progress.. I started looking for a female bbw domina, play partner, and I hope that i do find one for my husband.. It would be nice if i could find one close here in my area, but who knows what the fates have in store?
I have started to build in my pandora's toy chest.. and even with the mcguyver tools I did manage to buy some actual stuff.. I am so proud to own the things that i do, and my sub friend was there to witness the whole ordeal.. Now to try my new toys out on him.. Hmm maybe is should bring some latex gloves for that session that day.. Get some ass play in order that day.. hmph.. maybe i could also pin him that day and THEN tie him up, gag him.. and leave the ass for a paddle spanking.. Soundsl ike a plan to me.. What does one think.. oh..the peace de resistance.. place him in his own cage..kewl.
On another note.. tommorrow my best friend and sister is coming down.. she has an erand to run..but has decided to visit me before she goes and does her errand.. Perhaps i will gag my man, and make him watch.... he can clean her.. AFTER im done.. LOL i love my life sometimes..it gets to be very intersting.... Now im off to go have some fun.. or get myself off and have some fun..lol which ever comes first.. |
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Try as I might, I am someone who say from the door what is on my mind. Whether it is a mentor type friendship, or a possiblitly of being owned.. the rules, regualtions are alays talked about..and as it progresses, and changes from one to another I maintain the lines of communication. so then.. WHY today did my mentee betray my TRUST, AND proceed to totally disregard my specific intructions..and not only that.. the domme whom i spoke to.. did the same thing.? what happened to to layalty? and mutual respect.? Ladies and gents, it has bome to my attentiion that even in file if you cant keep your word as a PERSON.. how will you gain the trust of those with whom you are trying to find favor with.? |
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I hope everyone had a good "stuffed " holiday in one form or another. With the new year around the corner, it is time for cleaning out the cobbs and brushing off the paddles and ass shining them with some new worthy prospectives. At leas that is what i hope to accomplish with progression in the new year. I know that many of you are looking for long term, but in my case.. 24/7 isnt in the cards.. so who know.. In any case..i m looking forward to getting to know the few that i do select and see where it goes. With that I am adding the opening of taking on female subs. Why only plant "half a garden" when having a bountiful one is so much more of a harvest?.. Now for my latest news.. In the last few weeks I have mentioned the breakup and dismissal of someone whom I have called a friend for two years. Well recently this individual spoke with me, and made a play for my soft spot for him. And yes as women we have a tendency to get caught up in the moment when our emotions are involved. creatures of habit right.? wrong.... The habit has finally been broken.. See after all was said and done, I took a long hard look at what was actually being said..and after speaking to my mentor.. i decided to send him an email (the guy who failed me, not my mentor)( he asked me to be something that i realized was only for his selfish purposes from the very beginning.) and after sending an impersonalized email.. and taking my emotions out of it.. i told him what the truth was.. needless to say, he didnt like what i wrote.. and now is very pissed.. HAHAA... which is sooo ironically funny considering he was the one that started this mess to begin with... How do you become the victim in something when you are the cause to begin with?
People lie,, when they say they can handle the truth.. In reality what we think is a version of our shaded mental truth is something that as imperfect humans we tend to deal with.. It burns me, that tell the truth to someone instead of leaving them in the dark, you become the enemy.. HA, what a joke. I am a woman of honesty, and integrity, and if i cant uphold that, then what type of example would I be setting for my children, and for my future pets?.. Now i just hope that I can get my ipod back.. ( smile) be well everyone. |
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As the saying goes"fool me once shame on you , fool me twice shame on me" And to be honest i am furious on the strength that i took a chance on somene who was ADAMANT about meeting with me, had very colorful conversations, actually met with me, and then left, (with out a word mind you , at least not a truthful one at that) The opportunity to decline was there before the second meeting and yet, what in heavens name happened today? Why all that effort ,if it wasnt to your liking? You know ladies and gents, i DO NOT HAVE TIME TO WASTE. and THAT is the reason why i do NOT go GAGA of all the eager beavers out there who swear their alliegiance right off the bat!
Explain how you come to someones residence as agreed upon to do what you claimend that you were ready to do, and then just pull a hudini?. Since you are not a person of your word, thank you for setting the bar for those who actually MIGHT be telling the truth as to who they are.. I know you certainly didnt? Or your motives for wanting to see me were false.
Ladies and gents, and all those bbw plus size ass worshiping slave.s/subs. LISTEN UP..
i DONT KNOW about the women you have come across but i am the type of persn who does not give in to the whims of a male, so easily, just because you havent been around the presence of a ebony goddess and your logic flies out he window My saying out with the old .. looking for those who are true.. tis the season to start anew. thanks for listening.. |
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How many times have i said it.? One of my biggest pet peeves is a person who does not keep his /her word? Tonight was your test, and you failed.. MISERABLY!! not only did you stand me up, but you left me hanging, with out so much as a word, or anything. Someting so simple as returning a phone call, AFTER ALL THE CONVERSATION YOU expressed to me..and you FAILED!! so now what.. guess where that puts you.. ?? i decided to put your word to the test after all that conversation and you failed. Dont worry. it wont happen again. i would soo love to hear your explanation. I doubt if you will give it tome.. One down.. so many more to sort thru. |
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where do i begin with today's entry?... My biggest pet peeve, is betrayal of friendship , loyalty to that friendship and dishonesty. That is an actof dismissal, no matter how much time i have put into it. To be made to be feel like a fool. I am angry, ive invested, and to find out the FINAL truth, in which ive known all the long, but i wanted this person to be up front.. my test and he failed..so , now what is to be done about the situation. I am not someone who likes to hold on to my anger, but dispense of it as i should.. i could also enjoy myself and take it out on a slave... hmmm but who would be the willing victim though? lol.. that woudl be av ery nice idea.. I realize that my heart has dismissed the essence of who he was /is to me, He is no l onger the person that stops my breath, He is a man, always was, not the person that was deserving of my acts as a woman. there in lies his betrayal.. one in which i will be more selective and strutinize more. when it come to involving individuals.. he will be dealt with accordingly. |
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I hope everyone had a fulfilling holiday with family and friends. Did you count your blessings, and say your thanks to the things you do have and are blessed with even with this troubled day and age? Are you thankful to your mistresses/masters, for being in your life and showing y ou guidance? Have you said, thank you for the deserving pushiments, and restraints, and directions that are given to you , to keep you on the path of servitude.? Come into the new year, with new goals to reach, new ambitions,and a new attitude. ..
seasons greeting everyone.! |
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Today, as I was walking down the street people watching, i got to thinking to myself about the membership on this site, and about my personal membership with being so open about my sexuality and friends with those who know me. If you are like me, or similiar in thought, have you ever noticed that when you walk in the street ones eyes tend to notice the physical behavior of an individual and you wonder what their personal lifestyle or taste are? i dont mean your typical "oh he/she is flamboyant, or that person is really out there.." i mean something that isnt so visible to the naked eye...
the subtle way a person holds thier head, the way a persons eye contact is with you when they see you walking down the street. The body language that a person gives off when they pass you. does ones mind go to sub/ or dom/domme? Even on a day to day basis for me, i have had people come pass me and say, nice smile, or some pleasant comment about me as a person. if ind it rather amusing, even though I know who I am as a person, but I remain humble as a bbw. Has it seem toyou that a person's persona can be picked up even ifyou dont know them personally? |
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Who would have thought it, especially on this site. I was sent a racist hate note this morning, by one of the members on this site. Me Racist??.. I dare not even breath that term with my name. and those who know me, know, that nothing could be further than the truth. Should i put this person on blast,? I could, and let everyone know how hateful this person was, but whats to be gained out of it, sinking to the level of evil and bigotry that is being spewed by this person.
I was listening to the new the other day, and they were mentioning about how times have changed, apparently, the world still need some work done. |
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today.. is the beginning of a long week of days off in which i hope to accomplish some things, but in the mean time, a tale of my latest happenings. i recently met this woman several weeks ago, thru some mutual friends of ours and found out what her needs and desires were. Needless to say, after an 11 year dry spell, she was not prepared for what my friends had instore for her. The greedy, sluttly little girl in her wanted more than her body could handle, and I found it to be rather hilarious. Un fortunately, I was not there personally to partake of such festivities, but I did get a report back as tall the events. She needs to be schooled, and I realize that I along with those with whom I associate with are going to have to slow walk her.
I was told that upon meeting the guest, she was immediately told to strip. I have heard countless times during our conversations of her desire to please. so she was worried about the reactions of her male guests. I had to reassure her, that their being there at that point was not about the, but about her, being that she was "virgin like" in the ways of sexual pleasure. I am going to be tickled pink when I myself am with her and show her what being with a true goddess is like.. will keep you posted. |
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I had assistant #2 called before me. "both of you will be punished for your behavior in this matter, i will not stand for thing not being as they should but first... u will use this..! i gave her a medium sized paddle that i had in my bag. it was wooden, with small holes in the center, and some leather tassells tied on the end. The look in her eyes told me, that she knew it was going to hurt, spanking her mistress, but that she was grateful that it wasnt her being spanked with it. I instructed for my assistant to bend face down on her knees infront of my queen chair. and i place a ball gag in her mouth. Her eyes pleaded with me for leniency, but i dismissed it. i bent down next to her and hissed." this will teach you to be on point, u slacking little whore"! Looking over to her i said begin. |
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I am so tired today, i wish that the house was quiet and i could use what is avaialble to me.. i would do nothing but sleep until my body feels better.. hmm who sould i get to service me today.. ? j perhaps,? he would gladly do it, while making my breakfast for me and getting my house in order.. Perhaps i would break ina new one.. from ny? he wou ld do well.. working in my basement gettin THAT place in order.. *sigh*.. on another note" My assistant knew that I was livid because of her performance on the job, after all i made it so, that SHE would have an assistant, sub underneath her. I called her assistant and told her to stand before me. "where were you , i said hotly in her face, where is your place, worthless hefer?" Mistress, Forgive me, I was, SLAP! SLAP!, her face reddened, she fell beneath me. "did i tell you to answer, me you worthless human waste? Must i do everything is this place? .. Handing her a paddle, i instructed her to have my assistant be placed over her knees and she was to spank her in front of everyone. I knew that a move like that would show everyone that no matter how close you are to me, or what level of acceptance i have given you, you can be knocked down a few pegs,.. |
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Each of my slave have been hand picked, from my various experinces in traveling, some have come to me of their own free will. It amazes me the number of the seeking., those who wish to be encombant of a GODDESS with training, and a firm but guiding attitude. This one particular sub is my special project a indivdual that must be broken to a level that he needs to understand his place in my stable. My assitant took my coat and my bag and while i was sitting down trying to catch my breath after along day, she mentions" goddess your project is ready for you. you might want to give him some xtra attention, he didnt fulfill his assignment today,a nd we caught him going thru your femine delicasies in your room." What!! i shouted, he violated the sancity of my private domain and you didnt catch him in time?? what the hell are you here for you worthless house bitch?? why are you here to take care of things if you cant protect what is private and priveledge in my own house?
"but your queen ship I.. SILENCE!!! I will not stand for such insolance.!! NO ONE is to be inside my bedroom or anywhere near it unless there are specific instructions given to you and intern given to those under you. KNEEL, NOW,!
it continues.. later. |
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i had a dream last night.. it excited me to no end. i dreamt that my house was large, beautiful, and suited to my likeing.. and although it was in a place that was quiet.. the inside activities were of another flavor.- my assitants met me at the door, and i had the pleasure of having both female flavors.. chocolate and vanilla. my choclolate godiva was beautiful 5'11 carmel complexion, dark shoulder length hair, full sexy lips, that most men would kill to have wrapped around them.. but her pleasure was to wrap them around parts of my body.. My other assistant"gofergirl" beautiful as well, and thick.. what made me take her was her eagerness to please not only me but her mistress-in-training(my assistant) and sub to both of us. There is nothing like haveing homage paid toyou when you walk into the dor of your own home and see your male slaves. ass up face down in a "spank my ass and greet/grace us with your DAMN IM TIRED. ass whoopin!.. it continues |
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Watch out for the big girls on Collar me. ! i find that the more I am on here the more I enjoy it. who knew that so many individuals would enjoy the company of my well being and those of the ones i represent. oh to only have what i seek to go thru with total fulfillment. ! I find that I enjoy meeting new people and speaking with them, ita a learing process and helps me to grow as a woman and a Domme.. I wonder.. if this were a fantasy world where some of the seekers find a place where big girls like myself exist on a planet and in order for the seekers to survive.. they must commit to our race of buxom, beautiful, demanding bbw's would they commit?, or seal their fate.? |
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