Vertical Line



tiggerspoohbear - photo 1
tiggerspoohbear - photo 2
tiggerspoohbear - photo 3
tiggerspoohbear - photo 4
tiggerspoohbear - photo 5

Updated JAN 11 2021

Lets edify, shall we? Im 58. No more crap! Ive been on here 12 to 14 years, not sure anymore but when it was CM and had CollarChat. Met some great people on what used to be very active boards. On this side, a lot of DingleNuttzez intersecting with some really great Dominants!

Im a no-nonsense sub with a slaves heart. I love to laugh, play board games, watch sitcoms, comedies old new, hooked on cartoons, creating different crafts.

For the right man, Im very obedient, love to cook, clean, bake, do laundry. Sorta kinda maybe 50s household.

Bedroom stuff is also fun fun FUN! But its not the be-all end-all to a relationship. Theres a whole big world out there to be lived.

Yes, my list of interests is short, I leave it that way for further discussions. And that, only if and when *I* feel comfortable. I do NOT discuss my sex life, fetishes or peccadilloes with perfect strangers. Calling me a princess, an ice queen, a bitch, whatever, DOES NOT WORK IN YOUR FAVOR.

Just remember, as youre a stranger to me at your end of WiFi, I am the same to you. Its water off a ducks back. I can be a sarcastic bitch if you send me a one word msg or are rude. I dont abide by that. Were supposed to be adults FFS, AAAARRRRGGGGHHHH!!!

O, Im a durdy durdy gurl with a durdy durdy mind! To the one to whom I do belong, of course!
O O O Im a wyld child! My 2nd childhood? Forget that noise... still in my first... imma havin waaaaayyy too much FUUUUUUUN!!!!!!!

A PoohBear

Yanno, I don't ask for much. I've found a partner, written right at the very tippy-top of my WRITTEN profile. And ALL IN CAPS! But even that's no use if YOU'RE TOO LAZY, A COMPLETE IMBECILE or THINK YOUR ONE-LINE, MOST LIKELY 3 WORD MESSAGE is going to even closely interest me. I'm not fake, accuse me of that, you'll get laughed at. Think I care? Nope, I just shake my feathers! READING THE DAMNED PROFILE IS EASY PEASY. SO IS UNDERSTANDING IT... But you won't read this if you haven't bothered reading THAT!! SO, oooo well, your loss not mine. I'm getting sick & bloody tired of the hipocrisy from those who expect courtesy, a doormat, an entitlement to their "role" for whatever silly, jackassholery reason. I WILL NO LONGER COSSNOPERATE with pond-scum, slime sucking, snail trailing supposed "men", or women for that matter,who think I will fall to their feet in a swoon!! AS IF I'VE EVER IN ALL MY LIFE DONE THAT!! (okay, except for knocking myself out)
It's good news/bad news kinda day. My blood sugar is too high. Back to only drinking water, cutting back on everything. I've also lost my kitchen privileges because ONE asshole can't follow directions and has NO boundaries! After being told laSt week there were two things to follow. Yet this dinglenutzz can break both in less than 20 seconds, if that. I swear, the steam emanating from my ears & nose made me look like Ferdinand the Bull in the Bugs Bunny cartoon. On the plus side, I've met who I think is a decent Dom, we've been chatting back & forth for a few weeks. See where it goes. I've met some crazies here, but also a few good Men. He seems to be One of the good ones so far. Our vanilla interests are close to a perfect match. The other stuff, weeeeelll we have some commonalities, I'm willing to give this a try. He's fine with that, we'll go from there!! 'Nuff said!
Well, I've been alone for 4 years now. Not easy, housing situation has changed, health has too. I've heard from someone, an actual NICE GUY Dominant, believe you me, a very rare breed! It's been almost 2 years, he's also had a rough go of it. We're just both looking for the same things. Yanno, ya reach a point in life and realize screw all the bullshit, the games, the constant buzzing from people who want to cause nothing but trouble. All you want is to have some happiness, some peace & quiet from the world outside.
Had my day made today!! Went to buy a pack of smokes (no, I don't need to receive notes from those who don't approve) and was asked to provide photo ID. I pulled out my driver's license, laughing my fool head off.  Asked the guy "You're kidding, right?" He looked at me strangely, then kinda embarrassed and said "No?".  

I told him I was 51 and that's why I was laughing so hard.  He didn't believe me.  I told him to take a look at my d/l and he'd see I was right.  He did, but said he couldn't believe it.  I looked so much younger.  

Just a young guy doing his job, and making my day in a way he never knew.  My thanks to him.

Well, it's been a long time since I've posted a journal entry. Guess it's time I did. Paul & I reunited in the spring of this year. He was gallivanting around eastern Canada & decided to contact me. It was good news, he wanted to get back together. There was some 'splainin to do on his part, a lot of it. Questions were answered to my satisfaction. He was coming to me.


He arrived on the 1st of June, also his birthday. I can honestly say I'm not only IN love, I love him with all my being. This is a first for me. He's always there for me, he makes me laugh, he encourages me, he makes me feel safe, he let's me be me. In short, he loves who I am, the whole of me, flaws and all.


If you read my past journal entries, please make note of the dates they were written. I could delete them, but to me, they're where I was at that point in my life. Thanks.

Shared by a close friend of FB today:

Letter From God To Woman

When I created the heavens and the earth, I spoke them into being. When I created man, I formed him and breathed life into his nostrils.

But you woman, I fashioned after I breathed the breath of life into man because your nostrils are too delicate. I allowed a deep sleep to come over him so I could patiently and perfectly fashion you. Man was put to sleep so that he could not interfere with the creativity.

From one bone I fashioned you. I chose the bone that protects his heart and his lungs and supports him, as you are meant to do. Around this one bone I shaped you. I modeled you. I created you perfectly and beautifully. Your characteristics are as the rib, strong yet delicate and fragile. You provide protection for the most delicate organ in man, his heart. His heart is the center of his being; his lungs hold the breath of life. The rib cage will allow itself to be broken before it will allow damage to the heart. Support the man as the rib cage supports the body.

You were not taken from his feet, to be under him, nor were you taken from his head, to be above him. You were taken from his side, to stand beside him and be held close to his side.

You are My perfect angel. You are My beautiful little girl. You have grown to be a splendid woman of excellence, and My eyes fill when I see the virtues in your heart. Your eyes – don’t change them. Your lips – how lovely when they part in prayer. Your nose, so perfect in form, your hands so gentle in touch. I’ve caressed your face in your deepest sleep; I’ve held your heart close to mine.

Of all that lives and breathes, you are the most like Me. Adam walked with Me in the cool of the day and yet he was lonely. He could not see Me or touch Me. He could only feel Me. So everything I wanted Adam to share and experience with Me, I fashioned in you: My holiness, My strength, My purity, My love, My protection and support. You are special because you are the extension of Me. Man represents My image, woman My emotions. Together you represent the totality of God.

So man – treat woman well. Love her; respect her, for she is fragile. In hurting her, you hurt Me. What you do to her, you do to Me. In crushing her, you only damage your own heart, the heart of your Father, and the heart of her Father.

Woman, support man. In humility, show him the power of emotion I have given you. In gentle quietness show your strength. In love, show him that you are the rib that protects his inner self. ♥

I'm hurting badly.  Haven't heard from Paul.  He won't reply to my texts, messages or c-mails.  I have no idea what I've done wrong.  I'm heartbroken to be left with no answers at all.


Not much else to say except I care for him very much, he's my Daddy.  Promised to be forever, that he'd never abandon me.  That he wanted me with him forever.  My heart was given to him, to be taken care of so tenderly and carefully.  The same as I have his in mine and still treat it as such. 


I thought we'd both reached an age where things could be worked out because we wanted them to.  Regardless of distance.  I was his little girl to my Daddy. 



'Nuff said for tonight.

I'm off to see Paul tomorrow.  Can't wait it's been an entire month since we've seen each other.  Right now, that's all we can do.  But at least we're in daily contact thru text messages of YIM. 


He's still the man of my dreams, knows how to draw me out of a funk, can make me smile or laugh at the drop of a hat.  I'm still trying to figure out how me came to be together.  But I also know better than to look a gift horse in the mouth.  He means everything to me.  He understands me better than I understand myself at times.


I love to please him, to laugh with him, to be silly together, to be serious when it's required.  I'm his, body, mind, heart & soul.  Of that I have no doubt.  I told my dad and his g/f about him.  They're thrilled for me.  They seem to have this innate sense that for the first time ever I've chosen well in a partner.  I have and I couldn't ask for more.


Thank you Daddy for making me yours, for letting you be mine, we hold each others hearts o so tenderly.  Both of us have had rough rides in the past.  This is why we know to treat each other so well this time around.  Who knows where it will lead, but we both see us as forever.  We're none of us getting any younger, we realize how much we've grown, how much we can grow together. 

I know, I know, I haven't posted here in awhile.  But I've now found the Man for me, I'm as happy as can be!  We hold each others hearts very tenderly and with great care.

Now, if you can't read from the ONE paragraph I have for my written profile that I now have a male Dominant, and ask me if I have one, weeeeeeeelllllll, your reading skills need tremendous improving.

And no, I don't add friends that I don't know.  If I don't chat with you on a regular basis, and you're not from the board side of things, then nope, I'm not into adding friends for quantity, I go for quality.  And these are all quality people as far as I'm concerned.

So thanks for asking, yadda yadda, but I'm not about to lose this Man, I care for him deeply and love him to pieces.  He completes me in a way no one ever has before, and I do the same for him.  We're one now and at peace with our decision.



I did it.  Finally found the right color for me to be a red-head.  Now if only I could get the temper to go with it.  Nah, don't need that, iss all rumour anyways.

Nice thunderboomer and lighting storm going on right now so I'm running on battery power, don't want a power surge to destroy the fairly new laptop.  Temp must have dropped about 10 degrees in 20 minutes and it's pouring rain.  Don't have to close the windows yet, hope I don't.  It may be humid air, but it's a lot cooler than it was this afternoon.  Good sleeping weather.  Means I can turn off the a/c unit in the bedroom.

Of course, now is a good time to be watching the movie "2012" for the about 4th time this week.  Hey, what can I say, I love disaster movies and in this weather, well it's just perfect timing.  LOL.

'Nuff said for tonight.  O wait it's tomorrow, by the time this shows up it'll be about 2 minutes after midnight.

Just read this and love it:  "If you can't take care of someone, someone else will do it for you".

Also, have to love tineye and google image especially when it leads to finding out someone's pic was stolen from a social media site.  Tried out 2 dozen assorted other profiles and came back 0 search.  So, in some cases, yup it does work.

I am a trusting person, if you feel the need to abuse that trust, then why not be honest from the get go?  It might get you further in the long run.

'Nuff said for today.

WOW!!!!! Finally mostly partly a lot moved in to my new apartment.  Place is a mess, can't find a thing, boxes and milk crates and bins O MY! 

If it's the hot summer they've predicted, then I'm going to be a roasted bean by the time it cools down in the fall.  Iss warm in here tonight.  Sitting in bed with the laptop and a fan blowing straight at me.

Can't decide if I'm hungry or not, can't find the toaster to make toast or the butter or margarine to put on it.  Convection/toaster oven is also listed among the missing.  O, and the lamps, can't find that box either.

The "friend" who helped me moved wanted it all done NOW a full to the top 14 ft U-Haul and he had it unpacked completely in about 3 hrs.  My legs gave out on me on about the 5th box coming upstairs (13 steep long forever stairs) and he brought up the rest.  Just had to help with the mattress and box-spring, my buffet and hutch, the sofa table and my big leather easy chair. 

But it's going to be fine.  I'll unpack, no hurry although I'd like it to look like I live here and not like a hurricane's blown through. 

I can say my back is sore, my ankles and feet are swollen beyond belief, I've woken up the last 3 morning barely able to move.  Take my advice, buy stock in Tylenol, Advil and Puffs Plus.  I've bought enough to last me a lifetime yet I keep running out and having to buy more.  LOL.

Methinks I'm getting rather tired, going to hit the sack, see if I can sleep in this muggy, hot, humid air and go for broke.

OK, so shoot me. I haven't even started most of the packing yet. I think my blood sugar is way out of whack and my eyesight is all blurry. I spent all last week sleeping and with a super migraine every day. I'm also almost paralyzed by the fact that I have all this stuff to do an don't know where to start. There's just so much to do and so little time to do it. Phone calls to get approval for community start-up by ODSP. The insurance company, making sure cable gets hooked up, arranging to be there for it to be done once I'm moved. Making sure my ODSP is continued. I'm on it for 3 yrs, and that's up in August. I can't go back to work, there's no way I'm in any shape to do so. Can't stand being around large crowds of people or having all the noise that goes with working in an office setting. By Wednesdays I'm starting to lose it, by Fridays I can't stand anything and it makes me go half nutty. Not that I'm not nutty now, but it's less intense and a total different kind of nutty. Doesn't make me want to sling a stapler at someone for not doing their job or being rude to customers. Nothing more I hate than that. That's enough for now, I could go on, but I won't. TTFN.

Well, it's official, I'm moving the weekend of June 4th.  Found a one bedroom apartment that has a real kitchen.  Not the kitchenette I've had use of for the last 2 1/2 yrs.  That's my biggest treat, I'll be able to start baking and cooking for real again.  No balcony, but it has large windows and it's in an area with a lot of gorgeous parks where I can go sit for a quiet afternoon with a cooler of drinks and food along with a good book.

I'm going to miss living where I do, I've become such good friends with my landlady and her daughter.  And the peace and quiet of living in the country.  I get to go to sleep listening to the frogs and crickets and wake up to the lil birdies singing in the morning.  I'm moving to a much larger city, so I'll have to get used to traffic noises again. 

I can't wait to get settled and know that instead of a 4 or 5 hr drive to my dad's I'll only be 75 minutes away at the most.  I will have to put up with a much harsher winter because the city is right on the St-Lawrence Seaway and they don't just get snowstorms, it's all hell-bent blizzards.  3 or 4 inches of snow here will translate to 1 or 2 feet of the white stuff there.  Deal with it when I have to.  At least I have a whole summer to pass in some gorgeous setting. 

 Now comes the tough part, packing all the shtuff I have here.   Going to pare down as much as possible, I'd like a place that's not overstuffed again.  Yes, I'm a packrat of the first order.  Trying to get over that.  I want to be able to live simply and have a comfortable home.

 That's it for now.  O, new laptop, my computer finally gave up the ghost.  It's refurbished, but to me it's new.  17" HD screen, WIN7, lots of other doodads I still haven't had time to play with.  And no longer do I have a huge monitor that weighs a ton and takes up too much room.  What a difference. :)

Well, it's officially unofficial.  My landlady is putting her house up for sale by then end of April.  I have to move.  I've luckily found an area of small towns that have 6 or 7 places that are less expensive than where I live now and are also bigger.  It'll actually be a one bedroom apartment instead of a bachelor and I'll have some room for all my stuff that's overflowing this place now.

I also expect to have my car thingie all straightened out by the end of the week.  Then it's on the hunt for a new place. 

I'm putting myself #1 for the first time in my life, and anyone who doesn't like it can lump it.  To put it politely.  It's something I've never done in my entire life, and it's about damn time that at the age of 48 I do so.

'Nuff said for now.

I am me and me comes first.  YEEEEEEEEEEHAAAAAAAAAAAAW.

Let's see.  What have I learned?  Well, when a friend tells you to go back to IE7 because your IE8 keeps "not responding" you're supposed to make sure you have the discs for them.  Do not remove IE8 and try to install 7 since my system told me I already had 8 installed.  Not the case.  And then can't re-intall 8 because you're then told that it can't be located. 

So I spend about 2 hours trying to figure out how to bring up a screen where I can look for a functioning web page.  Finally found one, got smart and installed Mozilla Firefox.  Yegads, what a difference.  Nothing freezes or doesn't respond.  The tabs are great, and I was able to import my favorites to Firefox.

Then I turn off my pc that night only to have it re-install IE8 only to find out that I can't access it once again.  Who the hell is supposed to work with this stuff unless you have a damn computer degree of some sort?  And that sure ain't me.  I can do the basics, but don't get too complicated, or I'm in biiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiig trouble Mister.

But then I wouldn't be me if I didn't screw something up on the pc or the laptop.  It helps to be spechul!!!!!

Awww the joys of the snow-called storm of the century and it's not snowing.  All I know is it's cold as hell out there, the wind is blowing to beat the bandwagon and I'm told there's more snow on the way.  Another so-called major "dump".


Groceries have been done, library books have been checked out, I found my dangnabbit reading glasses behind my bed and can now actually see what I'm reading.  Now that's a big help, can't read if you can't see what you're reading.


The heavy-duty shtuff has all been resolved for the most part.  I now have car insurance, my disability case worker has been contacted and that's all been straightened out.  I've received a letter from the local hospital giving me the go-ahead to contact their psychiatric unit so that I can make an appt with an honest-to-gawd psychiatrist and get my scrip situation taken care of.  Everything needs to be changed or re-calibrated to the correct doses.


Stress level has gone down to a more manageable level and a huge weight has been lifted off my shoulders.  Dad's booked a trip to Cuba for a week with his girlfriend, ooooo how a week in the sun sounds heavenly.  But that's not to be. 


I know that every day that goes by is one day closer to spring, open windows, the sound of the songbirds returning as well as the crickets and the frogs at night.  I sleep so much better then.  Right now it's sleep where sleep can be caught.  I either spend days in bed sleeping on and off or it's 2 hrs at night and I wake up with nightmares and those o so pleasant night terrors.  Now those are fun lemmetellya.


My day was made on Monday when I found out my hairdresser from years ago is still in business and I got to drop in on him.  And he recognized me right off the bat.  We were good friends and I used to drive 4 hrs one way to get my hair done by him.  To know he hasn't changed a bit, well ok there's a bit more grey on the top, but dammmm the man is still as good looking as he ever was.  And that I've now found the person I trust with cutting my hair.  A small thing for most people, but a huge thing for me.  We talk about anything and everything, nothing's out of bounds with us.  We have a great time.  Can't wait til it's time to get my hair cut and catch up some more.

Heavy duty shtuff going on in my life right now for the last week.  Fighting with insurance companies, disability support system, mental health group, nurse practicioner, and the list goes on.  I'm not doing well at all and trying to get everything done at once has me as stressed as I've been in a long time.  To say I'm not doing well is an understatement. 

 Luckily, I have a great landlady, who's also become a close friend, who's doing her best to help me navigate thru all the bull crap.  She'll make the calls for me that I know I can't make or I'll totally lose it.  I'm close to the breaking point and I'm hanging on by my fingernails. 

 And here I thought 2011 was going to get better.  I have one bright light that I'm keeping my eye on.  A Dom who is willing to wait for me to get thru all this crap and isn't backing down.  I and it doesn't scare him away.  For that I'm ever so thankful.  You know who you are.  Thank you for not wanting to lose me, I don't want to lose you either.

 And thanks to Poise for posting on the other side about my b'day.  A lot of well wishes that made me feel like I'm not at the bottom of the pile.  Thanks to all who contributed, it meant the world to me.  And cheered me up on a day I had to spend by myself.  My b'day supper was the night before, done for me by my landlady, her daughter and boyfriend.  Fun was had and I could forget for a few hours that there's wayyyyyyyyyyy too much going on in my life right now.

 And thanks to a friend in town I haven't seen in well over a year, we'll be getting together on Saturday and spending the day together.  We've been friends since we were 18, now 30 yrs have gone by.  We're not getting older, we're going to age disgracefully and haven't grown up yet even though we're both adults.  What's the fun in being a grown-up??? I left that to my sister, the stick in the mud.  LOL

Happy b'day to me!!!  Tells ya how much I know what the date is, I thought it was yesterday, finally took a look at the calendar at my PC when I realized it wasn't until today.  No wonder my dad didn't call me til 10pm last night.  O well, it's always nice to know I'm still spechul, the best of all nuts, the honey roasted pecan.     

Enough snow on the ground that the handyman was zipping around on his snowmabubble yesterday making a track for me to walk from my apartment to where my car is parked.  There goes the hope that we won't have enough snow this year and I'd be able to park up here for the winter. Dammit.


But, only 4 days until I leave for my dad and the week I'll be spending there for Christmas, and although I complain about the snow, I really do love it.  It looks so pretty when it's pristine.  I'm lucky to live on 6 1/2 acres with lots of trees, so it really is a winter wonderland when I look out the window.  And I hate a green Christmas, that's more depressing than too much snow.


Yes Virginia, it is possible to have too much snow even if I live in part of the snowbelt.  At least not like the London area (Ontario to be specific) where there's been over 8' of snow over about the period of a week.  And entire hwy was closed, it's being cleared now but apparently some tow truck drivers are now gouging the vehicle owners up to $400 for what would normally be a $50 tow.  Bless their hearts, and may their stockings contain nothing but huge lumps of coal.  Motorists were stranded for up to 30 hrs, they had to be pulled out by military choppers and the only way to get food and water to them during the worst of it was by volunteer snowmobilers who went out of their way to make sure that people had at least the necessities to get thru it.  Nothing but good gifts for them!

Well, winter's here for good.  Don't care that it's not supposed to start until the 21st.  Someone forgot to tell the weather gods about that lil tidbit.  Had to go out today only to find all 4 doors on my car frozen solid, as usual of course.  Took 15 minutes to get the driver's side door open then the passenger door at the front took another 10 minutes from inside the car trying to push it open.


Finally get all that done, and for once I was smart, started the car once I got inside it so it'd start warming ASAP.  Flash freeze 2 nights ago with snow then falling also made it fun to clean the car of snow.  It was like trying to push through heavy wet sand.  So after about 45 minutes, the car's warmed up, I've cleaned it off to the best of my ability.  And yes, I always make sure I can see out all the windows.  I'm not like some drivers I know who drive with a little spot clear on their windshield and can't see from the side or rear windows.


I'm glad we didn't get the snow that fell to the southwest of us, they're still extricating people who've been in their cars since late yesterday afternoon.  And the snow is still falling.  They've had to call in the military to haul people out 10 to 18 at a time and some of them are now suffering from hyporthermia.  Even those who had full tanks of gas.  Methinks from now on I'm going to put the big heavy sleeping bag in the trunk, which I can get into from the back seat.  And candles, along with power bars and emergency supplies.  Who knows?  This is after all Ontario, I live west of hwy 7 and it's known that the snow can hit as hard here. 


I'm lucky in that I have a propane fireplace should the power ever go out since I live out in the boonies.  It'd get pretty cold pretty fast in here.  At least my apartment is attached to the house and much smaller so keeping warm wouldn't or shouldn't be a problem.


I'm travelling to Ottawa in 8 days, a 4 hr drive.  I want to make sure I'm prepared although I've driven through some pretty awful blizzards where following the car tracks ahead of my vehicle were the only way of ensuring I was still on the road.  If the vehicle ahead of me had gone off the road, well guess I woulda landed in the rear end of his car or on top of it.  Not something I want to be doing.


I've been lucky, no accidents since the age of 22 and I don't plan on doing it again.  My bad luck to have owned a '75 Chrysler Cordoba (for those of you who don't know, it was a tank of a car and was advertised as being equiped with seat of "corinthian leather" by their spokesman of the time, Ricardo Montalban).  And corinthian leather?  Well, it really doesn't exist but it  made it sound "rich".  Damn, I miss that tank!! 

Ok, so I should have updated this earlier, but I've been wrung out since last night.  Dad & I had a very long chat (30 min on the phone for him IS a long time) and I'm going home for Christmas.  No New Years, but I can live with that.   So I'll be gone from the 22nd to the 27th or 28th and will get to have my Christmas with my immediate family, and my 2nd family also.  My dad's g/f has accepted me as one of her daughters and her grown children and even the grandkids have made me feel as if I'm part of their family also.

Dad & I discussed a lot of things, aired out a lot, and got things straightened out.  It wasn't an easy conversation on either side, but it's done and we both feel better for it.  I know it isn't easy for a parent to see their child changed so much, and at 75 my dad isn't getting any younger and things make him stress out and anxious.  We both have to be easier on the other, we both have to accept that I'm not the same person I used to be.  And that's done.  He'll always be my dad, I'll always be his little girl.  No matter how old I get.  He's my rock, my support and although it isn't always easy, he supports me in all ways.  I would be lost without him.

I want to thank the friends from the other side who came to my rescue, sent me cmails and posted on the boards.  Without you, I don't know how I would have got through that first night and the next day.  There are too many to name, but you all know who you are, and I thank each and everyone of you from the bottom of my heart for the unconditional support and love you showed me. 

I've been lucky to make the friends I have from the boards.  Never a greater group of people and even though there are times when we see things differently, we are still there for each other no matter what. 

My heart soars tonight, for the friends I have made, the unconditional support I receive from my dad and his g/f, and for my sister who, although we don't speak, I know is there for me regardless of the circumstances.  She & I may not like each other, we're as different as day and night, but we do love each other and that's what counts. 

I now return you to your regularly scheduled programming.  'Nuff said.

 My dad broke my heart tonight.  I was told over the phone that I shouldn't bother coming down for the Christmas holidays as he had events and parties he'd be attending where I couldn't be invited.  This is the first times in years that I haven't been with my family for Christmas and New Years.  I have to buy my own gifts for myself for both Xmas and my b'day, which is in mid-January.  No mention was even made of going to Ottawa for my b'day.  Double whammy.  I feel like my heart has shattered into a thousand pieces and I've lost the rock in my life.  The man who promised to be there for me no matter what.  The dad I love to hear from usually, the sound of his voice is such a comfort.  I feel that's been lost now.  I feel like a pariah and it's not a nice feeling.  I've never felt so alone and lonely in my life.  I hope sleep comes easily tonight.  I want to crawl into bed and hibernate until spring.  What's the use otherwise?

I have to laugh, after a back and forth with a Dom yesterday, I was told I wasn't a "real sub" because I didn't know how to reply to a Dom properly.  Uhhh, excuse me, but last time I checked, Doms and subs were on equal footing until an agreement was reached to become D/s or at least the prospect of it.  Sorry guys, but I'm a person before I'm submissive.  And hate to break it to Doms even more, but you're also a person before you're a Dom.  Has to do with that whole human being thing.   

Also, to any of you who try to add me as a friend without knowing me, not gonna happen.  The people I have on my friends list are actual friends.  People I've met on the boards who've become, guess what, friends!! 

Hunny The Pooh  -  Rumbly In My Tumbly Song 

Hum-dum dee-dum hum-dum dee-dum
I'm so rumbly in my tumbly
Time to munch an early luncheon
Hum dee dum dum dum

Oh, I wouldn't climb this tree
If a Pooh flew like a bee
But I wouldn't be a bear then
So I guess I wouldn't care then!

Bears love honey
And I'm a Pooh bear
So I do care
So I'll climb there
I'm so rumbly in my tumbly
Time for something sweet!

Yes, I'm a kid at heart, and although I listen to just about every type of music, since my nic is Poohbear, I thought this most appropriate.
Tigger song can be found a bit further down.  So sue me!!

It's off to Ottawa for Thanksgiving early tomorrow morning.  Dad has somehow convinced me to go to my sister's for supper.  At least his girlfriend will be there to keep me company.  Gotsta love than woman.  Hopefully be able to meet up with my cousins on this trip and won't have to wait til Christmas.  We finally re-connected on FB and miss each other very much.  Back home sometime early Tuesday afternoon. 

The Tigger Song
(cuz I love it!)

The wonderful thing about Tiggers
Is Tiggers are wonderful things.

Their tops are made of rubbers
The bottoms are made of springs.
Fun, fun, fun, fun, FUN!!!

The wonderful thing about Tiggers
Is I'm the only one

I'm the only one !

I have hard limits of speech restriction and being ignored for very good reasons I've been treated like that in the past and it brings back horrible memories.  To me, it's cruel and unusual punishment.  It makes me feel like less than nothing and that I don't count.  'Nuff said.

I'm a happy subbie over the last few days.  I've met some amazing people online and it's just so nice to know there are others out there looking for friendship.  Exchanging messages, knowing I won't be judged and knowing that I'm trusted.  It also makes for some fun in the threads.  The back and forth, the silliness.  Thank you, you know who you are.

Pooh Bear

Why is it so damn complicated to understand the words at the bottom of the page when you post your main profile pic? "NO EXPLICIT PHOTOS ALLOWED". 

Now don't get me wrong, I love the male form.  But I do not need to see assorted dicks and arses when I get a new profile picture pop up on my screen.  And believe me, most women think the same.  There's the few that do, but again, that's the FEW. 

If you can't take a pic of your face or at least cover youself, then don't bother.  It's a huge turn off.  No matter that you think your damn weewee is the greatest thing since sliced bread.  It's not.  They only come in various sizes, nothing changes. 

So have some respect for yourself and for others who get stuck looking at such tomfoolery throughout the day.  If that's all you're worth, then how much are you really worth to the the woman/man who may have some interest in you? 

And to be equal, I don't need to see beaver shots or full on nudes of women either, the same rules apply.

There's a report button, I don't hesitate to use it.  May not get your pic pulled right away, but if enough do like I do?  It will be.  In no time.  Too bad it's not moderated anymore but I do understand the mods are volunteers and have better things to do than stare at dicks and wicks every damn day they're on.