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Dominant Couple, 53
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Female Switch, 38, Camden County, New Jersey
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Male Dominant, 23, Manila
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About TheWiseOldFool
WARNING: Sydney University or any other institutions using this site or similar sites for studies or projects - You DO have my permission to use my profile or any of my pictures in any form or forum both current and future. If you do, it will be considered a routine use of stuff that I have willingly posted on the Internet for all the world to see and there will be ABSOLUTELY NO LEGAL RAMIFICATIONS WHATSOEVER!
It is HIGHLY recommended that no others post warnings similar to this or any other as they are USELESS and serve NO PURPOSE other than to annoy those who see them over and over and over again.
I HAVE HEPATIS C!
I was once accused of hiding the above fact while negotiating with a Domina. I've never hidden it, but I may have neglected to point it out to her by the stage of negotiation we had reached. Since then, I make sure that people are told about it early and often.
Now that new drugs have been approved by the FDA that greatly increase the success rate of the peg-interferon treatment, I am giving serious consideration to undergoing it. Still, at best it has a slightly better than 50% success rate and it takes a year. So, I'll have the disease for the foreseeable future. If this causes you to choose not to play with me, I accept that and will in no way hold it against you. While Hep C is very difficult to catch, the risk, infinitesimal though it is when proper safety procedures are observed, is one that you must decide of your own free will whether to accept or not. If not, I still welcome and desire your friendship. Please understand, that Hep C can only be passed by direct, blood to blood contact. You cannot catch it by touching me, by kissing me, by eating off the same plate or drinking from the same glass or bottle as me, or by hugging or being hugged by me. In fact, it's very unlikely that you would catch it even if you were regularly having unprotected sex with me.
If you do choose to rule me out as a possible play partner because of my Hep C, I would alert you, if you're not already aware of it, that I am NOT the only person in the BDSM community who has this disease. If you're a regular participant in the BDSM community, you probably know somebody else who has it, although he may not admit it. He might know he has it and chooses not to reveal that fact. I feel this is so extremely unethical that it's downright immoral. Or, it's more likely he doesn't even know he has it. I would urge you, therefore, whether you become a playmate of mine or not, that unless you are fluid bonded with a play partner, to proceed with anybody you meet in the BDSM community as if he has Hep C.
While I'm handing out medical warnings, let me add this one. I have moderate to severe hearing loss. It's almost profound in the higher voice ranges and profundity is not a good thing when talking about hearing loss. It's been slowly growing worse for decades, which means that I've also lost some of my ability to understand spoken words, even when they're spoken loudly. It's not from not knowing words. I know LOTS of words, a few dozen of them at least. It's an occasional difficulty understanding spoken words. It can often be a word that I know very well. I know this can make talking to me, umm, trying; you have no idea how many times I've seen eyes roll the second or third time I've had ask somebody to repeat herself. Sorry about that.
There are two common misconceptions that people have about the severely hearing impaired. Because of occasional difficulty making out the spoken word, people tend to assume that we're stupid. While I'm often a Fool, hence the screen name, I am not stupid. People also often think that a hearing impaired person is stuck up, since they talk to him and he seems to ignore them. So, let me say this:
I DO NOT WILLFULLY IGNORE PEOPLE WHO SPEAK TO ME!
If you speak to me and I don't respond to you, one of two things has happened. Either I did not hear you at all, or I did not realize you were speaking to me. In either case, please accept my apology and try again. I'm much more likely to hear and understand you if we're face to face, not talking while one of us is facing away from the other.
I have high hopes of having brand new hearing aids within a couple of months or so. However, please understand that hearing aids, while immensely helpful (I've had them before) are NOT a substitute for normal hearing. They do not clear up the occasional difficulty in understanding the spoken word. Once I do have them, I will NOT get anywhere near a swimming pool with them on my person. Also, when in an environment in which a high noise level is annoying or painful to me, I will turn them off. They make good earplugs that way, but of course if you happen to be with me in such a place, I'll be even deafer than I am without them in my ears at all.
AND NOW, FINALLY, ON TO OUR REGULARLY SCHEDULED PROFILE.
Hi, I'm Harry, also known as Harry Van Winkle. I was a fixture for a number of years in the Arizona BDSM community, am a past Vice President (or, as I liked to call the job, President of Vice) and Head Dungeon Monitor of Desert Dominion in Tucson; but I'm new to New Mexico. While my profile says I live in Moriarty, I'm actually much closer to Edgewood, living in the beautiful home of my oldest and dearest friend in the BDSM community, [Nancy Ava Miller.]() If you don't know who she is, I suggest you google her full name and start reading some of the 672,000 (As of 7/5/11) links her name brings up. I also highly recommend that you buy her book, “Pervert: Notes From The Sexual Underground.” If she is not in the Pantheon of Leather, then I am dubious as to the validity of said Pantheon. Among her many credits are, or should be, the founding of BDSM clubs such as Arizona Power EXchange (APEX) in Phoenix, and The Black Rose in Washington DC among many others. I've been proud and happy to call her my friend for twenty three years. You'll find links to her websites below.
While I'm somewhat of a switch, I'm primarily a masochistic bottom. I like to play hard and I like to play rough. If you take a look at the pictures on my profile, you'll get some idea of what I mean. My absolute favorite form of bottoming is CBT, although electrical play comes very close. Put them together and I'll be somewhere in orbit of Jupiter or maybe Saturn. I often say that I will submit to almost any form of CBT, the limit being that it must be something that can be done to me repeatedly. In other words, no permanently altering or removing the equipment, thank you. Other than that, odds are that I'm game.
I do NOT like negotiating scenes, largely because I really prefer not knowing what's going to happen before it happens. Constantly interrupting scenes to ask my permission to do things to me is even worse. What I prefer is negotiating play partner relationships, each of us explaining to the other what we like, what we don't like and what our limits are. Then when we play, we know what's okay and what isn't. This is also something I think BDSM checklists are good for. There's a link to a long one I filled out down below.
“But,” I imagine you asking, “what's the difference between what you don't like and what you don't allow?” Actually, there's a big difference. I often refer to myself as a “Service Bottom.” What's a Service Bottom? Well, it's sort of the opposite number of a Service Top. What Service Tops enjoy most is taking a bottom where he needs to go, making sure the bottom has a good time. How much the Service Top enjoys the scene is proportional to how much her bottom does. A Service Top isn't usually what you'd call a Sadist, unless she's playing with a serious masochist, although there are quite a few who prefer serious masochists along with more than a few who don't care for masochists at all. In other words, a Service Bottom is a masochist who doesn't so much enjoy pain for pain's sake as he enjoys the PLEASURE a Sadist gets from inflicting pain on him.
I've learned over the years, that it matters less to me whether I like the specific things a Sadist does to me than that said Sadist has FUN doing them. For instance, I have extremely sensitive nipples and I don't much care for having them tortured. I refer to them as “my Achilles nipples. It's funny; if you kick me in the balls, I'll spread my legs further to make it easier for you to do it again, but if you touch my nipples, I'll try to squirm away from you, cover them, or protect them any way I can. But, I don't set a limit against nipple torture because all the Sadists I've ever played with like to make me growl, scream and whimper. They have more fun when they get those reactions from me. And, one of the fastest ways to get them is by torturing my nipples. I do give the warning, though, that that's also the fastest way to wear me out. So, if you want me to last awhile, and I certainly hope you do, take it easy on my nipples, at least to start.
I've had scenes in which the Top did only those things that I very much enjoy, but she didn't have a whole lot of fun doing them. I've had scenes in which the Top did whatever she damned well pleased, including nipple torture and other things I didn't much like, not caring very much whether I enjoyed it, but having a GREAT time herself. The latter type of scene, to me is MUCH more satisfying, sends me much higher than the former type of scene ever did. For me, the quality of the energy exchange is VITAL and for it to be good, the Top has to ENJOY what she's doing. Hence, the self applied label, “Service Bottom.”
I have a very deep, gravelly voice, partly the product of a forty-two year heavy smoking addiction, now broken. When being tortured, while I'll get quite vocal, I tend to be very non-verbal. What I do is growl. I start with sub-vocal growling. As the pain grows, the growling gets louder until it becomes screaming, the screaming eventually turn into whimpering. And when I've been whimpering for awhile, I'm gone, somewhere not even close to this solar system. Most of the Sadists I've played with have told me that they LOVE making me growl, scream and whimper. I have rarely shed tears during a scene and those were scenes that were done for the purpose of catharsis.
I can bottom to women or men. Although I prefer the female energy, sometimes a really rough man is just right. I LOVE being co-topped. Many of the more memorable scenes I've engaged in involved me and two tops, often two women, occasionally and woman and a man. I've never bottomed to more than two tops at once, but I'm certainly open to the experience. Other types of play that I love bottoming for are fire play, needle play, cuttings, water sports, objectification, canes, whips, tight bondage, degradation; the list goes on and on, ad infinitum. I could list the things I don't care for easier than I could list all my likes. I'm polymorphously perverse.
Feminization does nothing for me although I have nothing against it or those who are into it. And if it really turns a Top on, well, I've already covered the subject of turned on Tops. But, I feel that attempting to feminize me is kind of an insult to femininity. I don't see it as degradation because I don't feel that femininity is in any way inferior to masculinity. If you want to try to “strip me of my manhood,” i.e. make me something less than a man, then you'd do better by stripping me of my humanity, not by trying to make me an ersatz woman.
I greatly prefer stingy toys to thuddy ones. Soft tailed floggers do very little for me unless they're swung VERY hard. Singletail whips take me to the moon.
As a bottom, I have very few limits. I like to say that my limits are Hospitals, Jails, Morgues, anything really likely to put me into one of them, and smoking. That's as in making me smoke, not as in an unwillingness to play with smokers. You can use me as an ashtray if you like, but please don't blow smoke in my face and definitely DO NOT try to make me smoke. I broke a 42 year, heavy smoking addiction that was killing me in February, 2011 and have no intention of ever resuming the habit. I've become very fond of breathing, thank you, and hope to continue doing so for several more decades.
I have a top side too, although my topping limits are considerably lower than my bottoming limits. I will NOT do any sort of blood play as a top, as much as I enjoy bottoming for it. I'm sorry but the chances of me accidentally sticking or cutting myself while topping with needles or knives and passing on Hepatitis C is just too great. I also have very little interest in topping men, although I don't totally rule it out. I've also found that I'm not comfortable topping those to whom I regularly bottom, or bottoming to those I regularly top.
I've been told often enough that I have a way with the written word that I'm forced to believe it. I tend to disappoint people who have come to know me through writing when we meet face to face. I am nowhere near as well spoken as I am well written. The beauty of writing is that I can, and often do, take a long time to find just the word I want, that I can take words back, change them, reconsider what I want to say, etc. When speaking, I've long had a habit of opening my mouth, then shoving my foot in clear to the knee. Another reason for the last word of the screen name. Recognizing this in myself a couple of decades ago, along with slowly becoming unable to hear much of what is said around me has led me to usually being pretty quiet when in a group of people. Unless, of course, I'm screaming.
Also, while I'm immensely attracted to strong, dominant women, I'm intimidated by them as well. A former Domina once said to me, “Harry, you are not a stupid man. So, why are you so stupid around me?” Along with being strong and dominant, she was gorgeous and, unfortunately bipolar and not medicated. So, along with being intimidated by her strength, domliness and beauty, there was the 'walking on eggshells' effect of trying to NOT piss her off. That relationship only lasted about a month and a half.
While I'm primarily a bottom, I do like being of service as well. However, I've learned that while I can be happy with a lot of SM and no D/s, a lot of D/s with no SM will make me miserable. All work and no play makes Jack a dull boy and has a similar effect on Harry. While I could become interested in a full time, extreme power imbalance relationship, my experiences with them have led me to conclude that I was probably NOT born to be a slave. I'm not here though, or on any BDSM site looking for Ms. Right. I think that many people in our community go at things bass ackwards. Unlike most people of vanilla sexuality, who look for friendships, then maybe one of them becomes “The One,” BDSM people tend to look for “The One” then try to become friends. I think this is a large part of the reason I see (and have been in) so many relationships which didn't last very long. What I'm looking for is friends. If one of them becomes more than just a friend, great, if not, how can I lose by having more friends? I'm looking for playmates, Sadistic playmates mainly, but I can enjoy playing with masochists occasionally too, as long as I can recharge my masosadistic ™ batteries often by bottoming hard. I am not looking for any sort of exclusive relationship, although again, I don't rule out the possibility that one could develop. If it develops though, it needs to develop naturally, not by being forced. Although in certain other things, being forced can be kind of fun.
While I'm not online very often, when I am, I always have my Yahoo Messenger turned on. If you see that I'm posting on or cruising Collarme, please feel free to message me. My YM name is HarryVanWinkle.
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At long last, I have hearing aids. Unless you're also half deaf and have some, you cannot imagine what a HUGE difference they make. |
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