7/24/2006 8:37:43 PM

I am extremely, incredibly, amazingly happy with my boy...I am likely going to turn off this profile soon...I simply don't have time to answer email and for now I want to focus on my current boy and growing with him in our D/s relationship. He is the shizzle. :) For those of you looking for a mistress, love, domina, I will tell you this....I am focusing on this boy because he gives me what I need....Sounds simple right? But truely so many men on here are focused on their needs in the guise of submission. Some of you are sincere, but many are basically interested in geting their rocks off via a woman manifesting their submissive or masochistic fantasy. Baby, that is work. And I already have a job...and it ain't prodomme. Now my boy is not perfect..neither am I..but the number one thing he gives me (Altho he gives me much more!) is the willingness and deep desire to please ME. To make Me happy. And to a domme like me that is the key that turns the lock...it is not a line..it is not a fantasy..it has to be real. If you don't have that deep desire to please a woman you may not really be sub....You may be more of a dominant bottom or fetishist. Men email me and tell me I am rare... I am real. Yes I am. I am a complete woman, intelligent, attractive and dominant. Yet NOT a prodomme. And yes there are few of us on here. But there are just as few truly pleaser oriented subs...who have their shit together vanilla and are willing to put the time in to get close enough to someone like me to build trust BEFORE they get their rocks off. This boy has worked hard to earn me and I have earned him. Where will it go, who knows. But for now, he is my number one man. My property, my slave. And he has my full attention, my passion, my dominance..and yes, my love. :) I wish you all the best in finding yours as well if that is what you seek!!!

7/13/2006 8:18:07 AM

I collared my boy last night. I now own him. mmmmmmm. So nice. This of course means I have even less time for you all...not that I had much before..but he is so in need to training....ahh I have my work cut out for me. Luckily I am a rather bad ass, strong, tricky and conniving domme...I will have this boy whipped into shape in no time....and the rewards are ...enormous...pun intended. HA!

7/10/2006 8:50:13 PM

Slow and Steady versus fast and furious. Passion is great. Instant connection can be exhilerating...but in my experience those fiery romances have a short life span..big bang and then quick death. I am learning so much from my current subby boy.. He has been consistant with me over a long haul... he is kind and low maintenance.. Does not stress me yet yearns to please me...never obtrusive...fits in with my friends...is there when I need him....doesn't offer unrealistic future plans...He's as patient as a rattlesnake. And his reward right now is my attention, my affection and ALL my talents and skills..plus peridoic play with my hot friends!! Who-ha. He shoots, he scores... So for all of you persistently emailing me or other dommes, be patient, don't be pushy. If you do win a chance to meet and romance a lady...do it slowly..with ingrity. Don't make false promises or have too high expectations right out of the gate...you'll likely fall flat. Let her take her time and...It will be worth the wait!!! Be well and be good!!!

7/3/2006 6:37:40 PM

I am currently very happy with my primary subby boy and my group of play partners...and not looking for anyone else...I am not monogamous but with my limited time and busy social life....unless someone really connects with me intellectually, I likely won't answer your email. I am open to friendships with those that interest me....and I enjoy the blogs so I am stil on here. Have a great 4th of July!!!

6/28/2006 8:11:43 AM

Real life is taking over...and not as much time for fun on collarme. Ha One of my aunts died yesterday...for those of you who can separate fantasy from reality, be patient with me, there is much to do with the family. Appreciate what you have..you never know when it will be taken from you!!!

6/23/2006 12:17:24 AM

I am beyond burned out..super busy..much going on in vanilla life..so very very little time to answer emaily..yet they come in like water over a damn..I am not complaining just explaining..I often pop in here, glance at my emails and then log off.. I dont answer even the ones I want to until I have time to write a decent response..if I am not interested I may delete your email or pop off a no thanks when I get time..but after a while the shorter nonsubstantial emails all become a blur. It is clear when you all dont read my profile and my commands...and I get bored with you... so I don't asnwer. And unfortuneately some of the best emails are lost in the frey! Give the other people on here a break..don't ruin it for the rest of them..if you can't read or don't want to take the time, if you are emailing just because I am under 150 pounds (yes that was an email I received) don't waste your time or mine. Move aong. Everyone else, please beat these miscreants so that I will have time to read and answer your emails!! And be patient if I take a very long time to answer you!!

6/18/2006 10:04:25 PM

Hey Sweetie, Yes, you.. yes, I am talking to you. Mmmmm, now that I have your attention, let me tell you this.. I am a dominant woman, a lover, a healer, a sadist and a friend...I don't need a slave... I need a catcher, a pleaser, a teaser and a friend. I need you to catch my energy, my commands, my words..and throw them back to me in the form of "yes if it pleases you ma'am's" and moans of pain when I strike you. I need you to catch the sensation of my vampire gloved fingers across your back, your arm, your tortured nipples and genitals and throw me back moans of pleasure and squeals of fear. I need you to equally enjoy the tender touch of my soft hands as they carress your naked and bond body....helpless against me, but quivering at the sweetness of a sensual sadist....my oh so barely there touches melting into nipple pinching, my unexpected love bites transforming into lingering drags of my lower lip across your skin...I am cruel..yet sweet...sadistic yet kind..loving yet merciless. I need you to please me with your obedience, your wit, your tenderness, your vulnerability, and oh yes your lips, your hands, your tongue, your mind. I need you to please me in public, taking dinner with me, a show, an event, a walk. Being able to converse with me and with friends, being confident yet not arrogant, intelligent yet not a know it all, playful yet proper. I need you to look pleasing for me, to make me proud to walk with you, to show you off, in vanilla and kink worlds. I need you to be fit, to care for your body, not because I order you to but becaseu you long to please me and are proud of your own body, because you enjoy treating your body well. I need you to be healthy, eating well, not overindulging in food or drink or drug. I need you to have times when you can "bust my balls," (oh so gently!) and let me know you have a sparkle in your eye..not cruelly or passive agressively, but joking with me, sharing humor, giving me a bit of lip...so I can bite it off later. I need to know that you are man or woman enough to withstand my dominance, my sadism, and come out unscared, stronger and feeling known and loved enough to joke with me in vanilla time. I need you to be a real friend.. Someone to talk to, who is interesting and fun... who will be there if I get ill or injured...who will call me if you need me. ..who won't be a needy whiny dependant but will take as well as give in equal measure, when appropriate. I need you to show me your belly (like cats do) and to accept and value me in those rare moments when I show you mine. I need you to be stable and fairly drama free, to be able to pay your own way and stand on your own in life without someone else to guide you. I need you to be independent but to choose submission to me in sexual and play areas of your life. I need you to be vanilla some of the time and not need a 24/7 mistress or master. I need to be able to count on your in vanilla life and not need to run every aspect of both our lives. I need you to lust for me, to desire me, to drop your jaw when you see me in full regalia, leather corset and thigh highs, leather gstring....or fishnets and PVC. I need you to need me...not because you are merely horny, or because you are weak or easily led. I need you to need me because you know who I really am..and it excites you, the vanilla me, the kinky me, the soft, the sweet, the sadistic and the silly me. I need you to see the woman inside the domme...and see that without that woman the domme is merely your fantasy, a flesh and blood incarceration but nothing more and nothing tangible..without knowing the woman, without pleasing the woman, without loving and lusting for the woman...there is not domme for you..there is only a profile..a picture...a dream.... :) Sleep well my lovelies!

6/13/2006 11:37:34 PM

After joining this site I had a sub contact me who knew another friend of mine on here. He was nice enough but it was clear my friend has given him vanilla info about me and THAT WAS NOT COOL. I have talked to them about it but its important to realize the lifestyle we lead is not OK with mainstream America. Being "outed"is a real concern to many of us. I've been reading of other kinksters who have been outed and I share the following info from their blog: The majority of us who have chosen to pursue an alternative sexuality are at risk of being outed, (outing is defined as having our kink revealed by another to family, friends and/or employers, without our consent or approval), which could result in loss of family, friends, jobs, homes, children, etc. So how can you minimize the risk to yourself and your community? Following the guidelines below can help protect the entire community. Sanctuary for the Lifestyle Arts ?Confidentiality Statement ?, sets out the generally accepted community standard regarding confidentiality, and states, in part, as follows: " . . . there are some rules regarding confidentiality that are never - not for any reason - broken, by members of the lifestyle scene. To break even one of these rules will, at the very least, subject you to a loss of good reputation in the local scene and may very likely cause you to be completely and forever ostracized by others in the lifestyle . . Unless you have someone's express permission: 1. You never, either directly or indirectly, reveal that you know someone is a member of the S&M community or practices the S&M lifestyle, even to someone else in the scene. This is referred to as "outing," and it is always and exclusively their choice to "out" themselves - never yours. 2. You never, either directly or indirectly, reveal the "vanilla" or "real" identity of someone in the S&M scene, even to someone else in the scene. 3. If you know someone only through the scene, you never indicate, either directly or indirectly, that you know them at all when you are not both in an S&M scene or lifestyle context. For instance, you may accidentally meet a good friend whom you know only through the scene while the two of you are in the grocery store one day. The correct thing - the only correct thing - is to treat them as if they were a total stranger, letting not even the casual observer have any clue that the two of you know each other." Some of the ways you can protect yourself are: Keep in mind that the internet is NOT anonymous; never give out or post in chat or your profile, any information you wouldn?t give to a stranger you meet in a bar, restaurant, etc.. This includes your full name, telephone number, email address, and any information which makes you easily identifiable.

6/10/2006 10:46:08 AM

OK. I havea ton of emails. More keep coming in. If I have not responded to you, be patient. I am trying to sort through you all and figure out who I feel a conneciton to. As I have many emails, If I delete you without response it is likely because you did not follow my instructions or because you mainly told me about your SM life NOT your vanilla life as I said in my instructions. If I reply tersely as in "I am not interested thanks for emailing" it is because I have so many to answer. I am not attracted to everyone and everyone will not be attracted to me. I can tell from a short email, your profile and your pic if there is enough for me to be interested. You may say, how can you tell? Isn't that prejudging someone? Well yes it is. And you know what, after hiring people for jobs and dating a lot and traveling around the world I am good at prejudging. If you are attractive to me but empty I will not be interested. if you are mentally challanging and emotionally intelligent I will be more interested. If you are boring to me in your profile or your email then I am sorry but you will bore me in person. Having money does not impress me. Nor does being broke!) Owning things does not impress me. I tend to prefer men 30-45 but on acception I will go younger or older. But I am a very young looking 43 and have lots of energy. I am also a very mature 43 so young boys of any age not interest me. I must now go back to vanilla life. I only have limited time for this site...I will get to all of you..I promise! In good time!

6/7/2006 3:46:20 PM

Ahhhh I just got back into town from a 10-day vacation in Greece! It was fabulous, saw much, did much, met some very cool people. But I am seriously jet lagged and have no time or brains to respond to emails yet....patience my pets.....

5/27/2006 11:03:35 AM

I won't be checking email for 10 days starting Monday. If I receive a reply from you prior to Monday and don't reply to you, be patient. I will reply when I return. I am receiving a lot of email on here. It takes time to read them all. Have a great Memorial Day and beginning of June. It's going to be a fantastic summer!!

5/25/2006 3:20:59 PM

Back on collarme I notice that there are a lot of hostile men on here. Is it something I said? :) It's funny how men who say they are submissive and want to please a woman can often be so mean and nasty if rebuffed or if there desires are not PROMPTLY satisfied. I am busy woman, soon to go on a long vacation. For the record, I tend to read emails all at once and answer them as I have time. If you send me an email and I don't respond immediately, get over it. I will respond when I have the time and energy to give a decent response. Women get 100 times more emails than men on here. If you get snippy with me I will likely delete you. I think there are some men on here who enjoy being nasty as a passive aggressive way to hurt woman. While I am a sadist and a dominant and can be sarcastic at times, I am not a total bitch. I don't appreciate bitchiness or smart assedness from a sub especially if he is trying to get to know me. Let's leave that for me in a scene.

5/24/2006 9:28:18 PM

I rewrote my profile and am casting my net once again as I have a bit more room for a new partner in my life. It takes a long time to build the trust and communication required for good play and a good relationshisp. Too often I see men approach me and other femdoms with the idea that we will instantly dominate you. This is a prodomme mentality. If you go to a prodomme, you tell her what she wants, she does it and you pay her. Similar to prostitution. For a prostitute you go to her, tell her what you want sexually and she does it, then you pay eher. But with nonprostitutes, ie, regular woman, you first must court her, get to know her, talk to her and then perhaps decide if you two want to move forward with the sex. Same with a NONprodomme like me. I don't go from hi I am into XYZ kink to the dungeon. I am looking for real friendships, long term play partners and ultimately a long term romantic relationship. In our culture people think that there are two main ways to go with sex and in our subculture, with kink. 1. It's casual and anonymous and devoid of intimacy or emotional commitment or 2. It's a monogamous LTR from the first month on. Love at first erection or sight or whatnot. To me it's not that simple. It takes a long time to get to know someone well enough to do really good BDSM, let alone a romantic relationship. I've had many men tell me they are "in love" with me after one or two scenes. That's movie love. When we know and care about each other well enough that I can call you to nurse me when I am sick, or help me with a flat tire, or you need me in some way as well, then we are at a point of real love. That does not happen overnight or because we gave each other good orgasms. (Or I denied them!) People don't know each other well enough after a short period of time to make serious commitments, D/s or otherwise. If you want a superficial quick scene, please go to a prodomme. I often hear from sub men that prodommes are not real or don't really seem into it or it's not as satisfying. Well, it's not to her either. If you want satisfying "real" BDSM you have to put the time and effort in. And as in real life, sometimes we put the time and effort in and the relationship fizzles. Or the chemistry isn't there. That is a risk we take. But without the effort there is no way there can even be a relationship or chemistry. True intimacy, true commitment, "real" BDSM can only occur between two emotionally and mentally strong people. We all have our weak moments and in a scene we play with weakness and strength. But for me, to have good play, to make it worth my time, I don't need money, I need a strong, sensitive, trustworthy partner who appreciates me and my skills. In and out of the dungeon. For those of you brave enough and willing enough, I will blog on here from time to time. Reading my blogs is a good way to get to know me. If that's too much work, run along and don't waste your time or mine!