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The Largest BDSM Community on the Planet

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Hetero Male Dominant, 37,  Mesa, Arizona
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theamericanstig - photo 1
theamericanstig - photo 2

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"Being a Master is like being a gentleman. If you have to tell people that you're one, you probably aren't."

I felt it was high time to actually place a revision in my profile after all these months since situations have considerably changed since I originally wrote this... I am far from a newbie to the CollarMe scene, in the past I've had different IDs that over time have faded away out of frustration and not finding what I'm looking for and as such have become forgotten or the passwords misplaced over the years so when I felt it was time to come back to this site I went ahead and registered this ID and have kept it ever since. The American Stig is of course a reference to the BBC's hit show, Top Gear where they reference a mysterious masked figured simply known as 'The Stig' who is arguably one of the most amazing drivers in the world. The reason I chose it is simple, my friends refer to me as 'The Stig' in real life due to my driving style and the fact that if I decide I want to actually do something, I push myself to become the best I possibly can at it.

When I came back to CollarMe this time I honestly didn't feel anything would be different, and for a time it wasn't. The same old, same old...people calling each other fakes, pointless form letters, and ignored honest letters that I would send out. Frankly the concepts almost drove me away again however I started recording and posting Audio Journals which lead to talking to many interesting people. In addition to the budding relationships that formed there I developed several good friendships with subs and Doms alike, it was a rekindling of the lifestyle for me.

Over the course of about 6 months or so, I drew closer and closer to one specific girl to a level that we felt ready to meet, this girl was NoviceSubz but there was a slight problem...she was in England and I'm in the United States. Not letting this deter us, we set a date and the tickets were purchased and she flew out here (at her own expense) for three weeks. I know horror stories are made up of things like this but let me tell you all... CollarMe can work. We had a life changing meeting over those three weeks, we connected to the same level that we did online and from that point forward just went about that time exactly how life should be lived...we did normal things, we did kinky things, we did EVERYTHING just to see how well the match made on CollarMe was...

I will not set anything in stone but I do see a long and lasting relationship between us and it was something born of a simple message here on CollarMe...between two people with limited pictures (at the time) and nothing but text chats to get to know each other. CollarMe can work...

Now, moving on to more traditional profile things...

Who am I...well, here goes.

Allow me to make this abundantly clear... I am 100% straight, not bi, not gay...I have a less than 0% interest in any male, transexual, metrosexual whatever guys for any reason, period.

In my 'mundane' life, I'm a very successful (at least I like to think so) professional individual with a stable career and respectable income. I drive a new car, I own my own home, and I want for very few physical items. I say this because too many people on CollarMe are nothing more than people living in their parents basements, or working at Walmart with no means to support that which they seek which just further lends to the damage being done in the community.

To answer one of the most common questions I receive, yes, that is my fact you can even see my iMac in the reflection, I tried my hand with a little photo manipulation just out of boredom but I think it came out ok. (Just for the record, I do have plenty of pictures (and an iPhone, two cameras, and a few Mac's to take them if I find someone of interest that I feel warrants it.) The additional picture in my profile was a gift from the most wonderful girl in BDSM and beyond, NoviceSubz. This leather journal entitled "The Dom Handbook" by "Master Stig." may inspire me to actually write 'The Dom Handbook', who knows! You are truly and genuinely amazing, thank you for the touching gift and I will always hold it near and dear to my heart.

My personal mantra is that respect is earned, not given. I understand that applies to me as well as any submissive out there, I don't expect a girl to drop to her knees and call me Master just because I label myself as a Dominant, that means nothing... I am will and feel able to take the time to get to know the person aside from the submission, earn her respect and see how things advance. I am not a person looking for a one time meetup for sex, the mere idea of that just boggles my mind, nor do I think you can just 'Collar' someone in the first time of talking to them...a proper bond in BDSM / D/s takes time to develop or else there is nothing truly behind it to keep it together.

I am not a hard-ass, beat you til you submit type of Dom. I have extensive experience both online as well in real life as a Dominant including having previously worked with a live-in submissive. Truth be told I'd rather teach and train through positive interactions rather than spend a lot of time using negative reinforcement unless I have no other choice. Punishment, that's different, but I believe in a very structured system...if I punish a girl she can ask me (and receive and answer) what she did to deserve the punishment.

In a girl I've always looked for...well...pretty much what every other person on this site claims to be looking for, only I've always been very serious about it... I do find 'Nerd Girls' and girls in glasses to be very attractive and sexy most of the time so don't think I'm one of those guys who want an anorexic girl who looks like a pre-teen. Ick. She must be intelligent, there is more to life than just BDSM you know, as if things do develop long term I'd hope that she could one day possible evolve past just being a collared girl into something that would require real life abilities. A love of tight bondage, latex, gags, and a general open mind is without a doubt a must for me given I rather enjoy mentally engaging a girl under my hand to grow and develop further to expand the pleasure we both get out of things.

She should be comfortable being bound to my pleasure, gagged frequently, locked with no access to keys, displayed privately and generally enjoyed, in addition to just being able to enjoy the simple more mundane things in life such as interacting with friends, some travel, know, all the normal stuff that people do. I can say however that she will be treated well, not abused (physical/mental/other) as I do not find any of those activities enjoyable. She would be permitted to work a job for income to contribute as well as improve the general quality of life for us both. As with all things, this is of course negotiable in time and something we would need to discuss. Friends are always welcome, I always love a good conversation, I would not classify myself as 'looking' to collar anyone at this point as I'm enjoying how life is proceeding. Now, with that being said, I hope this will never stop any submissive from contacting me just to chat/talk...the best friendships in the world start off with "Hello" and can go for years so don't hesitate to strike up a conversation! I have absolutely no problem sitting and discussing everything above and BDSM topics in general with submissives. If I contact you, please do not hesitate to ask for a picture as I do not mind giving them out to someone I'm honestly considering!

Revision : 16 December, 2012











 Dominant Male



 5' 11"






Actively Seeking:

Submissive female


Online Romance

 Lives For:

 Bondage (Expert)

 Chastity (Expert)

 You wearing my collar (Expert)

 Gags (Expert)

 Placing you on a leash (Expert)

 Mental Bondage (Expert)

 Orgasm Control (Expert)

 Orgasm Denial (Expert)

 Web Surfing

 Intellectual Discourse

 Lifestyle BDSM


 Rock Music

 Ice Hockey (Expert)


 Fine Dining


 Martial Arts (Expert)


 Blindfolding you (Expert)


 Chastity Piercing

 Genital Punishment

 Housework Service

 Massage (Giving)

 Obedience Training (Expert)

 Selecting the clothes you wear (Expert)

 Outdoor Bondage

 Plastic Wrap Bondage (Expert)

 Rubber Fetish

 Sensory Play (Expert)


 Puzzle Games

 Role Playing Games

 Science Fiction

 Simulation Games

 True Crime


 Meditation (Expert)






 Eighties Music


 Nineties Music



 Art Galleries



 Renaissance Faires

 Camping (Expert)

 Begging (Expert)

 Breast Play

 Canes and Crops

 Corner Time

 Eye Contact Restrictions (Expert)

 Gas Masks


 Masks on Partner


 Maid / Butler Service

 Role Playing

 Spanking you (Expert)

 Speech Restrictions (Expert)

 Wax Play

 Board Games

 Card Games


 Online Chatrooms

 Online RPGs

 TV Sports

 Art Collecting (Beginner)


 Online Auctions (Expert)






 Alternative Music

 Classical Music

 Heavy Metal Music

 Punk Rock Music


 TV News

 Conservative Politics

 Liberal Politics

 Libertarian Politics


 Curious About:


 Electrical Play

 Erotic Hypnosis

 Public Play





 Bar Hopping


 G-spot Service


 Sensation Play

 Vibrators (Expert)




 Local BDSM Community

 Hip Hop Music



 Hard Limits:

 Modern Primitivism


 Cuck Options

 Female Led Relationships

 Female Sovereignty

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Journal Entries:
11/21/2021 10:21:54 PM

Some Say...

Wow, they haven't allowed us journals since 2016...amazing to have this back...

Well then, everyone, welcome to my journal!  Back in the years gone by I used to use this to put out some Dominant wisdom I've gained through my, now, 26 years of BDSM experience and would now like to do the same.

Please, if you've read my profile, don't hesitate to reach out as I love to help and provide information, advise, or general guidance to those who might want it or even those with just a question they would like to see answered.

If I can answer it, I will, either in a journal entry or just in private if you prefer but in any event it is something I love to do as a Dominant so I'm happy to be able to get back to it!

1/10/2016 12:07:09 PM
And it's my birthday.  Woot!

12/10/2012 11:10:40 PM

12/1/2012 11:58:47 PM

8/23/2012 4:50:41 PM

8/1/2012 8:43:32 PM

7/16/2012 12:36:02 AM

7/12/2012 10:50:28 PM

7/12/2012 7:35:12 PM

7/12/2012 6:03:23 PM

7/11/2012 12:26:04 AM

7/10/2012 4:20:48 PM

7/5/2012 8:19:05 PM

6/30/2012 4:38:08 PM

6/28/2012 8:04:04 PM

6/27/2012 10:11:19 PM

6/27/2012 9:45:11 PM

6/26/2012 10:35:28 PM

6/26/2012 1:44:37 PM

6/26/2012 6:38:34 AM

6/25/2012 6:45:47 PM

6/24/2012 6:45:08 PM

6/24/2012 3:25:30 PM

SO!  CollarMe Audio Journals are completely frelled so I thought instead of staying quiet I'd resume my writing journals for everyone until they get unfrelled...

So in one of the last WORKING audio journals, the concept of polyism came up.  I just wanted to say that first off, I'm not against poly as long as it's something that everyone is knowledgeable and comfortable with as the term itself can be extremely broad.  I've seen Doms work with a group of submissives who are all aware of each other and interact and that can have WONDERFUL results, there are things that sometimes (IMO) a submissive needs to be able to speak to another submissive about and sometimes having a sister with the same collar around her neck will allow them to compare notes in a much easier way and allow them to understand and grow a lot more evenly than trying to seek out others who may not understand their training...

Now, with that being said, I have NEVER seen a submissive who has multiple Dominants in their live turn out ok.  The problem with that concept is that the girl has multiple people with different ideas of what should be done with her all giving her about a confusing concept.  What then develops is a pecking order among Doms and in that situation it just isn't fair to either the Doms or the sub to continue along that point of action...the submissive should chose which Dominant they want to work with and go from voice, one hand, one will.  No submissive should ever be put in the position of telling their Dominant, "No, I can't do that because said I have to this..." as it just means the girl is not receiving true training and a real clean experience as she has no ability to focus her attention on the guidance of a single individual.  Some may disagree here, especially submissives who feel that having multiple Doms means they just have constant attention, however sadly to say I just see no positive thing coming out of that in the end...filling the time between sessions with other Doms just is slighting everyone in the relationship.

When a single Dominant works with multiple submissives, he is taking on considerable amounts of responsibility and has to be comfortable with the fact that he can handle giving the amount of attention to each of his girls as they need and deserve...if you have to slight one girl just to spend time with another, YOU ARE DOING IT WRONG.  Downsize to a single sub and be happy with her...  For those Doms out there capable of working with multiple subs, please, please, please make sure you don't keep this a secret from those you work with...make sure each sub you are working with understands that she is not your SOLE submissive or else you are going to just end up hurting her when she finds out.

I have experience working with multiple girls at once and have found, as I mentioned above, the connection between the subbies and their connection to me is an amazing thing.  It allows us to all form a much closer and tighter bond because I know they can always talk among themselves and develop that closeness and a friendship that will often last even longer than their training.  It just takes the ability to focus your attention on two girls without breaking down.  It does help, of course, to have two girls who share many common desires and focuses as it leads to a more unified and joined experience for them in their ability to share things.

That is my, abbreviated, take on a mulit-person relationship, I didn't even touch on the other parts beyond BDSM because I feel those are a subject for another time...but in BDSM, when done right I feel that the unity and sharing between everyone can often be a good thing...WHEN DONE PROPERLY.

6/15/2012 6:53:22 PM

6/14/2012 4:40:42 PM

6/13/2012 8:14:25 PM

6/13/2012 4:20:57 PM

6/12/2012 7:30:15 PM

6/9/2012 8:26:05 PM

6/6/2012 9:36:44 PM

6/6/2012 8:02:15 PM

6/6/2012 4:17:44 PM

6/5/2012 11:29:09 PM

6/5/2012 8:05:54 AM

6/5/2012 6:28:39 AM

6/4/2012 8:45:29 PM

6/4/2012 5:12:42 PM

6/3/2012 11:11:38 PM

6/3/2012 10:17:16 PM

6/3/2012 6:05:06 PM

6/3/2012 11:08:27 AM

6/3/2012 1:02:09 AM

6/2/2012 11:13:24 PM

6/2/2012 10:24:33 PM

6/2/2012 12:41:47 PM

6/1/2012 7:30:06 PM

6/1/2012 3:24:06 PM

5/31/2012 6:58:22 PM

5/31/2012 5:06:07 PM

5/30/2012 5:23:26 PM

5/29/2012 9:08:34 AM

5/28/2012 8:03:36 PM

5/23/2012 11:03:52 PM

5/22/2012 11:51:18 PM

5/18/2012 4:37:47 PM

Odd observation lately...

I'm getting a lot of messages from lovely submissives from all over the country, however, never anything from people local to me...  Seems the girls local to me either never respond to messages or send a couple messages then stop responding.  Just a kinda weird thing I've observed.

Oh well, the search continues.

5/13/2012 2:00:10 PM

Here is an open note to all submissives out there...

You aren't a slut, you aren't garbage, you aren't a whore, you aren't a bitch, you aren't any of these things that those wannabie 'Doms' (and I use that term loosely) keep tell you that you are.

A Dom doesn't need a title like 'Sir' or 'Master' from a submissive to feel justified.  A Dom doesn't chose a submissive and tell her that she is his but instead shows the submissive why she should select him to be her Dom, her Hand, her Protector...  A Dom doesn't act like these fools you see on TV running around blasting Heavy Metal Music (Don't get me wrong, I love Heavy Metal Music) and brandishing a whip while wearing black leather pants, gloves, and a gimp mask...  A Dom knows how to Dominate a girl just as effective with them both dressed for work as when she is naked and bound under his hand...

A submissive is a rare and beautiful thing that should be cherished and treated with the respect that she in turn gives you.  Name calling is one of the most bullshit things that fake Dom's do to their submissives in an attempt to build 'power' over them by reducing their sub's self esteem...  Don't put up with this kind of abuse, don't put up with someone that has to tear YOU down in order to feel Dominant...

A true Dom will be able to take a sub, speak softly to her, treat her with respect and endure her own respect without question.  A true Dom can say nothing and convey dissatisfaction with a sub in a way that she will feel more ashamed than anyone screaming insults can possibly do.  A true Dom knows how to humiliate and punish a submissive without becoming mentally or physically abusive.

submissives deserve more than these cheap tricks done by aggressive males who are looking for girls that they can abuse under the guise of being a Dom or their Master.  Take your time, find a trainer, find a teacher, then find a Dom and then you decide if he is a true Master...  The one decision a submissive can always make is the decision to walk away from someone who isn't worthy of the gift they are giving.

submissives, stop being abused and putting up with these guys who are simply out there to beat and fuck you and find yourself a true Dom who will treat you how you should be treated and experience with D/s truly is...

D/s is not abuse...

4/19/2012 10:19:15 PM

So, just a random thought...  Has anyone ever noticed that most people will lurk on profiles and never contact you (visit your profile multiple times) but then you just send them a friendly hello, not asking for anything just trying to be polite and nice, and then you never get a response?

I don't know, I try to respond to almost anything that comes my way, from friendship requests to just overall talking about nothing and small talk. 


I guess all I'm saying is feel free to message me, I don't bite and I rather enjoy talking...and if I happen to message you, don't automatically assume I want something from you, who knows, it could just be a friendly note. :)

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