the6ftblonde

Hmmmmm. What is it about dolphin season that seems so utterly oblique? An old friend came to town. I had not seen her in decades. Strange we were so young. I turned 18 with her. She took two days to call and say she was on her way. Left all and the abusive prick she had been with, got on a greyhound and came to live in the Florida Keys. She is very happy. She has decided to live. How can you not want to live here. Amazing place with amazing people, all here for the same reason. There is a better way to live. The fighter pilot left for two months. Training on a new jet. he just left. Goodbye was taking too long and with my new friend here something just wasn't right. He left and called and said he had left and I wept after we hung up. He left no instruction and gave no council. Just left. My new/old friend kept me distracted from devastation. I was ok. I drank. A lot. Tried not to think. Fucked an old friend. Found it difficult to enjoy. Asked him to leave. I told the fighter pilot he had come over. He made no comment. I was lost. I had to move and had not the means. Fighter pilot offered help. I said if he so intended to take care of me then something would have been provided before he left. We threw a couple of emails at each other. I hung up the phone on him once or twice. I explained I was tired of owing him. I didn't want to owe him I wanted to be owned. He knew this. I knew he had been thinking about it. He said every time he attempted to take more control, I stumbled. I didn't want him to take some. I wanted him to take all. I was frustrated that he didn't understand that. Fathoms of stress came down on me. I called him drunk and said nothing but whimpered and cried on the phone in the night. He just sat silently and listened.

And after some dry time. I fish and hook a marlin and forget. And am reminded again. And so I know better yet again. My old lovers all seem to call at once. They miss me in waves. Is it the moon I wonder as I look at their messages and simply close them. Its different now. Showing off simply will not suffice. Orgasm upon orgasm simply will not suffice. Why do I always forget just to enjoy the moment and the pleasure and not what was lost? Somehow I am never good enough though I know in my heart I am the best-self destructive outsiders. My weakness. And so tonight I drink. Tying one on and watching a Lion in Winter with a dear friend. Feasting like kings and perhaps hitting a bar-late late at night. In the hopes of what? Running upon my king? Seems silly really. That is not something that will happen with search it seems. I need a good beating. I fear instead I shall deal one. I hope I do not forget myself and venture to far cross the rubicon-nay-I hope I do. Until tomorrow sweet lovers. May you all be bitten tenderly into the night.

And just when you think things can't get any better... His phone blows up in the middle of the night and so you go to shut it off and see its the girl he left behind in California he called a drunk he was not responsible for. You see he had just made a call to her before he slipped in bed with you while you were sick. and you scroll through their texts and on Thanksgiving, when you got off work two hours early, and rushed your dinner, and brought him home a couple plates and company so he wouldn't have to be alone on the holidays-he was texting her saying that he has no intentions at all of anything long term with you. wow So our friendship has an expiration date? Your a fuking asshole. I mean ouch. So needless to say-I feel like fuking a football team right about now.

Oh the sweetest sensation of sinking back comfortably into darkness. Copper tasting torments. I breath and I am soaked and dripping. Spartan strength descends me to cotton. Destroy me slowly, love. Destroy me.

Wretched Love. Always creeping into the tiniest of places. Never mindful of the dark. Fearless, fickle, ferocious. I hate you. Come to me.

Something has happened and I feel that I don't want to share it. Does that make it personal and good? Tender? Fragile? A big step will be taken tonight. Trust. Trust if everything to him. It is a deal breaker. He trusts me. He tests me. Oh let the games begin. Another month to go before he slouches toward Bethlehem and does the usual deed or lack thereof to send me on my way as a pal. Does love make him stronger or weaker? This is a tough call. I have been wrong before. I do not want to drive. I do not want to lead. I simply want to be instructed and coached and supported. Will he get that its not just a choice but a thing so deep within it does not change? Is he just dabbling? Tonight I become a trusted friend. Find myself on the other side of the iron gate. My resources used to benefit a life other than my own. Wish me luck as I trip over the rubicon and make myself another delicious friend and if hope would have it, find a leader.

Things they are a changing. I get it. He wants me to know him. He wants to know how much he can tell me. Where the limit lies and I flake. That my dear is an excellent question.

Holy shit! I can't believe my last post was that long ago!!!! Lets see-so much to tell. TEN INCHES OF 23 YEAR OLD- who never answers my texts unless he wants me to use him dirty... He answered. Some bullshit about getting his shit together and not being lazy anymore. WTF did being lazy have to do with me? I thought I worked him pretty hard... (LOL) I take this to mean he is seeing someone rather seriously. And good for him. He has done this on occasion before and always comes back.. I am a firm believer in letting one go only to have them return. And he will. I don't think he understands that we will be friends for decades to come should be both live and that the ties that bind and nothing if not primal. I told him I support him in all of his decisions and should he find himself stranded or lost to just simply call and I will be there directly. What more could a man ask for? BLACKWATER A phone call came in last time we were together. I imagine it was around my last period which came four days early much to our surprise. The guy fucks me like he went to porno school and before we knew it there was curious red smudges on our faces and hands. OOPS! I noticed something felt different and I did have the same friction I usually enjoyed when riding him. Then I saw blood on my hand, it was dark in the room of course, but I decided fuck it! and kept going. It didn't take long before he noticed too and I think he said something like "your bleeding" I believe i said something like, oh look your right and kept riding. What were we going to do stop over a little (lot) of blood? Needless to say after I came it was pretty obvious that he needed to stop. LOLOLOLOL I have to tell you-for an assassin for hire I was a little surprised. Surely he had had his hands covered in blood before but perhaps its ones crimson covered penis that makes one squirm? A little insight gentlemen if you would? A reflection- When I was a young girl a pal and I snuck out to go fuck these boys in a neighboring town. I am not even 100% sure how we traveled so far in one night without the use of a car. Perhaps we hitchhiked- Anyway. I am fucking this boy and it comes to my attention much in the same way that I am bleeding. I tell him. He doesnt stop. I figure ok, great. I didn't know how to fuck or how to cum back then just that I needed to be fucking. He finishes and gets up and goes to the bathroom- My girlfriend is fucking the other boy on the floor of the same room. We hear a strange loud noise and the house shakes a bit. Then we hear a scream. We had snuck into this boys house and his mother having heard the noise runs to the bathroom to find her son passed out on the floor covered in blood and assumes she has just visualized her worst nightmare. Her son has been murdered and is dead on her bathroom floor. We all go running in to see WTF! She sees blood on me and I see bloody handprints he left on the wall and door jam on his way to the bathroom and light fixture. She assumes I have killed her son and proceeds to start chasing me all over the house trying to kill me. We all run out the fucking door! So yeah-I am not a huge fan of fucking while on the rag-but-moreso-I worry that the guy will see all that blood and panic! Anyway I hadn't done laundry in a while. I am lazy if I hadn't told you that before. I feel somehow I must have been royalty in another life. Cleaning has always felt like someone else's job. No towels! I am throwing dirty laundry across the room in desperate effort to find this man a towel before he passes out on me. I have no towels. My roommate is 48 years old and a staunch conservative republicon. I find him on the deck. Dood, I say, I must have started my period early and Blackwater Boy, and he calls him, is covered in blood. I need a towel now! We run to his room and he hands me a while towel. To which I say White? He says I don't care about that towel. Uhh ok. Anyway. All cleaned up. we take showers. Blow job in the morning. He takes me to my Jeep. On the way he gets a call from Virginia and is never to be heard from again. Had to run to Afghanistan and with the news everyday he may or may not be alive. Me thinks that is going to be the end of Blackwater Boy. Whether its from the gruesomeness overseas or in my bedroom that night-things just won't be the same. THE FIGHTER PILOT- What do I say. Started hanging with the kids. I think they may be healing my heart. Though we are clearly not falling in love as I had worried might happen. I think we are falling into an amazing friendship. I found out he has been married twice before in his young 33 years. I don't believe I am in jeopardy of becoming a matrimonial target. We talk in the pool for hours. He tells me things hes never told anyone. I try to do the same. I pull off great capers with the kids like sneaking bubble bath out from under daddy's nose and putting it in the hot tub to make great towers of bubbles for us to enjoy. What fun times. We drink a lot of beer and discuss everything. I believe this man is just in need of a good friend and a good fuck. He spanked me one night when I was disrespectful to him. I absolutely loved it but he hasn't done it since and I have been doing everything short of affectionately spitting on him to deserve it. I believe he has many secrets and thinks somewhere deep down in places he drifts off to when we are talking, that he doesn't think he is such a great man. He is however, a great father, an incredible lover, and I believe a friend for life. There is something very comforting when you figure out what someone wants from you and that it doesn't conflict with your fears and inner self. My search for structure and discipline continues, though I am very grateful to have found this very special friend. I sit in his back yard, topless, typing this. I am utterly broke. Newly moved into a place I cannot afford, and my Jeep is dying, but I have a smile on my face. The ocean is about 20 ft from me. A tiki hut protects me from the bright morning sun. A giant four foot stork searches the water for his breakfast not 30 ft away, and I sigh to myself and wonder if i dare declare that I am a happy girl despite the innate ache between my legs and in my soul to be made good use of. I will find you...

How is it possible to sleep next to a naked man all night and not get fucked in the morning? I make cute little fuck me noises and everything!!!

THE TROUBLE WITH LOVE- Not that I am feeling love or anything like it of course. But- I went and saw the one I lost to death. His brothers died and he turned into someone else. He was pathetic. I was fucking him every chance I got still. I went over there reluctantly. Felt nothing. I am over him. The fighter pilot is turning me into a different person. I am so enjoying him. I met a millionaire by the way. I knew him before he got his money. He was on his way to see me and totaled his car. He has 6 broken ribs and I am trying to get him to let me take care of him.

OH SHIT! The fighter pilot and I go out fishing-I love to fish did I tell you that? We are on the tuna. The sunset is amazing. Life is beautiful. He put the bow cushion in. I fuck him slowly on the way back-got to love that autopilot. He tells me when to cum and it works somehow. I soaked us both-to the extreme. It's hot-even I am amazed a little. I thought I was slightly dehydrated. Moon is coming up-its full. We stay naked. The pylons are too close we slow down. Out of beer. He shuts off engine and we sit on the bow in the bay and eat amazing sandwiches. The moon is trancing me. His music is my music. Things I love from days gone by. I curl myself around his body and stare at stars in amazement. Then I realize I have to tell him that I have to work tomorrow. He says ok and starts the boat. Autopilot was left on and we are stuck in a starboard turn. Nothing works. I call every captain I know for advice. Nothing He cuts it. Nothing. We call Tow-they come. I call the cab company that Blackwater works for-secretly hoping something fucks this up! Gawd why do I do that? It's the chick. I realize I am disappointed it isn't going to be a bit awkward and we go home. He fillets the tuna we stuffed in the cooler. Slip into bed. Make love, gently, (yuck whatever), I lay there wondering what the fuck I am doing here. This guy is awesome. Handsome. Smart. A fucking fighter pilot. A hot father. Responsible. Respectful yet firm and stern and demanding. What am I doing? My chest tightens. I realize I am in a panic. I get up, get my flip flops and put my bikini back on on the way out the door. As soon as the key hits the ignition I feel relief. What the fuck is wrong with me?

I had seen him everyday at work for three days in a row. At midnight he asked me to come over after I had closed the window. I didn't see it. Since we both had to work in the morning it was a good thing I imagine. I was off and he was fishing. He loves to fish-its what he lives for. All 6ft5 of him and maybe even seven. I left my husband for this kid, like an idiot, and quickly was awakened to the fact that he was in no position to take care of a grown women's needs. (But he is coming along nicely.) He told me once that one of his fantasies was to be woken up to a woman taking him in his bed. I ran to the sandbar with a "friend". He pulled up with his friends on a boat. I became excited. I always do the instant I see him. One of those unexplainable connections I suppose. There are no words. I had waited so long already. We are very private about our "relationship". Mostly I come and fuck him or come to pick him up when hes drunk and gets himself stranded. Sometimes he gets down, he is a thinker-they get sad sometimes. Sometimes he just calls when he is out of smokes. I bring him smokes and pussy, LOL. He is a good and honest man, 13 years my junior. Long and lean. He doesn't lie-much. My phone got wet etc.. You will never catch him saying anything negative about anyone behind their back. In this tropical town that is really saying something. I couldn't let on to his friends that we have a thing going, he is private and i respect that. No one wants to deal with the cradle robber-tot rocker jokes that would surely follow. We were all drunk. His friends wanted to fight. Sometimes I think he doesn't know what he is to me. I love serving him. His roommate was there and I am not 100% sure he knows what we are together. It didn't seem like it. We all laughed and talked. They left. I took my top off as they drove away. Hoots were heard. I was forced to go watch a sunset when all I wanted to do was fuck. I have seen 800 sunsets. I have pictures of 800 sunsets. Not when I need to fuck. Plus the guy driving the boat thought he was going to get some, but I am simply not attracted to him at all. We aren't supposed to be on property at the resort, but because of sunset, its now dark and the boat has to go back. I get dropped off there and am paranoid about getting busted. I hide. I'm pissed. I call my roommate to come get me. He takes me to my car and I drive home. I pass out. I wake up at 11:30 and there are 4 missed calls from 10 inches of 23 year old. FUCK! I have been dying to taste him for days and I miss his calls. I call back quickly, no answer. I made his ringtone particularly noisy and awful so I never miss a call and wake up and I missed it!!!! FUCK! I call 6 times. He doesn't answer. I lay here wondering if I dare. I do. I run out the door, grab him smokes, and I am there. I see his car and no others. I pull in behind him. No signs of life. I shut my car off and shut the door quietly. I try the front door. It gives. Shit am I really doing this? I am. I open it and see that its dark inside. I step in and shut it quietly behind me. I step to the living room to see his roommate asleep on the couch. Man that kid is huge, football player no doubt. I tip toe to the back bedroom. I try the door. It gives as well. Its pitch black in his bedroom and I can't see a thing. I shut the door behind me and slide off my flip flops. I sit at the edge of the bed and feel for his body. He is laying on his long lean side and in the middle of the mattress. Perfect. I hover above him, the only light from his skin. Smooth and young and cut with muscles from a hard days work. Sigh. My heart speeds in my chest. I can't believe I am doing this. I hope he doesn't wake up and hit me or get mad. I gently kiss down his chest to his hips. He doesn't stir. I take him in my mouth. Full when flaccid. Fuck he is so spectacular and has no idea. Love that. His sleepy excitement grows. He starts moving a little and makes some noises that dizzy me with lust. Then he comes fully awake. I can feel him look down. He is making sleepy noises and then throws his head back and moans. I know how to play him like a finely tuned instrument-he knows it-he knows exactly who has him in their mouth without having to see in the dark. He starts jumping in my mouth, he is close. His hands go to the back of my head and force me down on him. I love it when he forces me. I gag a little to please him. I am working his cock so good with my tongue he is going to blow if I don't stop. I suck him hard into my throat and hold him there. He is soooo very close. I almost let him go over the edge but I change my mind. I want to ride. He can feel what I am doing and he relaxes letting his orgasm slip away. Good boy-you last so much longer for me this way. I kiss my way back up, this time with little bites. He loves pain. More than he thinks I know. I hover over him, I know he can feel my heat though I am not touching him. His hips can't wait and he meets me. I work it in slowly because I know he loves it that way. I prefer a hard shove and leave in deep, but I am here to spoil him. I work him in all the way. He is huge. Thick with girth and ready to fuck me good. I work those spots deep inside my cunt. He is so good about letting me use him. I reach my first orgasm easily. I always choose men I am really into. It makes it much easier to cum on demand. Just as I fall over the rubicon he makes these noises that I haven't heard him make before. Utterly giving himself over completely to my desire. I feel him jerk and fill me with his magic. Fuck. I love the thought of having his cum inside me. I let him slide back into comfort and I start working up and down his cock again. He is so good to me. He lets me do whatever I want. Greedy is ok. I make him cum five times in a row this way. He cums with me, I call it from him. I remove myself slowly from him and lay where he has motioned he wants me. I didn't plan on staying. I was going to use him and leave. He likes to talk. Tell me about his day, week. he asks how long its been since we have seen each other. I know he means made love. And I do love him though I could never risk telling him. He tells me about three Halloween parties as my cue to be there. He is going to be a lure. Of course he is. We fall asleep. He wakes and says he has a long week of fishing and that he just had a long week of fishing. Something is bothering him. He needs his space. I offer to leave-getting up, his hand goes over my chest and stops me laying me back down. Where are you going he says? I relax on the bed beside him. I drift off. I stir and my pussy is wet and aching. I need him again. I suck him into my mouth and he bounces the back of my head. He is good and fuking hard. I back off and throw a leg over his tummy. I love lazy scissors sex. He goes so deep and brings me easily to cum. He isn't cumming. Oh my. Do I get to get fuked hard this time? I take my leg from him and turn my ass toward him. He goes into a fury pounding my soaking cunt from behind. I brace my hands on the wall. I cum and then cum again right after. He is so huge inside me. Stretching me from behind. Its so good. I hear him like a bull behind me. Snorting and breathing intensely. His jabs sharpen and I can tell hes close. I feel like the next time I come its going to be very powerful. He goes very very deep suddenly and the shards of pleasure and pain send me soaring. I tighten hard on his cock and he punishes me and pounds me very very hard. I let out a yelp and go into the throws of this intense shaking. its too much for him and he goes ballistic. He bites the back of my shoulder so hard i think i am bleeding. We cum together so hard. I lay shaking. He lays catching his breath. he falls asleep. I put my hand in his big rough hand and think holy shit I love this man. I am so glad we came to be friends and lovers. I wonder if he will ever know all he has to do is call and I will drop everything and run. Dangerous. I fall asleep. We both stir and he indicates he can't keep fucking all night he has to throw lobster traps in the morning. I get up without saying anything and find my dress. Bye, See you next time. I leave and drive home with a smile on my face. Fuck life here is so ok.

BLACKWATER- When I was raped a while back I began seeking dangerous men. Men that would be able to kill and have no qualms with it. Men that would protect me. I found one. He is a contract killer in the legal sense. Depending on what international law you look at. His body is solid and he has to train everyday. When we first started getting together it was at his place surrounded by heavy artillery. Fuking around weapons is very fuking hot. That being said. I went on sort of a bender and he started ignoring me for a while. Of course he should it was pretty clear I had something I needed to get out of my system, but, that is what happened. A couple months went by before I got him to answer me again. He came over and fuked me dirty-like porno school dirty-like holy shit what did you just touch in there cuz it felt damned good omg please please do it again ill do anything dirty! Anyway, I am at the bar with my friend who really just wants to fuk me but I pretend I am oblivious and still hang out with him because he is witty and intelligent life is difficult to find sometimes. That being said. He wants to go out later because he is trying to find a drunk chick to screw. I know hes just hoping I get drunk enough to let him in my pants, but honestly the guy is about as attractive to me as a dead leopard and I only fuked him once when I was sad, broken hearted, alone and really drunk. He probably doesn't realize this but I think him and asshole for letting me get in that condition in the first place if we are really "friends" then being more than happy to take advantage of it-but whatever. Anyway we bar hop and drink and I am bored and ready to go. I ask the bar to call a cab. Bar tenders talks to cab driver and hands up. He tells me that XXX named driver is cool. Asks if I know him. It's blackwater guy and he drives on the weekends to stuff money in the bank to buy a sailboat. I smile greedily-yes I know him. He picks me up and takes me home. Ive been having trouble with my roomate lately-drinking a lot-thinking we are something we are not and will never be and voicing it when hes wasted-again they all do this you get about 3 months out of them and its sour. depsite what you do. it all goes bad. Hotty drops me off and texts me the next day. Hi Well hello there What are you doing? Laying around, you? Wanna hang? Yes Be right there. I love that to the point stuff. He shows up-slight alcohol on his breath. I can't judge his age. Not a gray hair but smooth skin. I dunno. He walks up to me. I walk to him. He says HI-we say hi a lot. I make kissy noises and whimper. He grabs the back of my hair and twists my face to his-covers my mouth with his and shoves his tongue inside me. Fuking hot. we go upstairs-say hi to roommate-he calls him marine-roommate is so not a marine but its funny. We wait two secs for his girl to get upstairs and say hi to her. We are waiting in the hallway to begin some serious fucking. I get nervous around him when im not drunk. He could kill me with his thumbs. But we both know why he is here this time and we dont really talk about anything else. I am sure something happened to him. I dont know what and I dont ask. I dont want him to ask me anything-i dont lie and i despise people knowing my private shit. we walk in. I feel his hand on the back of my hair-again gripping-twisting-covering. Exquisite how powerful he is. I reach behind me and shut the door. (sorry i got sidetracked a friend asked me to watch them jack off) He pulls my tank top up-he pulls my skirt down-says lets get these yucky clothes off of you. I am eager. My ass is tingling-I know what he is about to give me. I rub his cock through his shorts-hes ripe and ready. He strips me and turns me around-handles me. I'm so fuking wet in an instant I feel it bubble from my tight cunt and drip toward my front and he bends me over the bed. He lowers himself behind me. I know what is coming. His hot tongue on my cunt and ass. Heaven. It feels so much better than good. Something about a dominating man-who doesnt ask-who takes what he wants. I am overjoyed and about to get stuffed full. He lays his tongue flat as if cleaning me and makes good work of my holes. He does throaty moans as he tastes me letting me know how much he is enjoying my female. I fuking love him for one brief moment. His tongue barely touches my clit from behind and I burst into an orgasm that surprises even myself. So easy so powerful-just at the thought and insane touch of his tongue. Whiskers raping my tenders into some sort of reckless rubicon. Fuck! He is good and I need him to own me. He lays himself down. I suckle him-he grabs the back of my head and shoves himself down my throat-so powerful, so hard. I could hurt him if I wanted to-but I just don't have it in me. I have him in me instead. He makes gunting noises-careful to let me know always that I am pleasing him. He's been married or somehow well aware of the way submissive women work. His face is like cold steel when I look up to him, longing. He smiles wickedly and says, "Why don't you come up here for a bit." Of course, daddy. As you wish-but hes read my face and my need. I rise above him and lower myself, but not before i meet his hips and his magnificent cock. He doesn't work it in slowly-he shoves. Shards of pain and pleasure explode down my spine and remind me that this if nothing else I need to live. To hell with the air. So deep-he stuffs inside me and keeps pushing past my limits. I feel myself jerk and jerk and them explode. How easily he makes me cum. Almost as if its got nothing to do with sex. My wet is running around his hips now. He has taken the time to shave himself clear. I like that and wonder who taught him to be so clean and careful. Maybe he is a cock for hire when he isnt on contract for assassinating people. I know not how many times he breaks an orgasm from my lips. He loves to get behind me and stand above me while he works my everything. Fuking heaven. We fuck for three hours, I am sore. In the middle of the night we fuck again. In the morning we fuck again. He works my ass like a paintbrush. When I think I can't cum again he shows me that indeed I can do whatever he likes. I get him ice water like a good subservient wench. He thanks me and I am absolutely sure it is my pleasure. Our bodies stay close throughout the night. My ass he likes planted in his lap. If I move it, and sometimes I do to test, he orders it back to him, or takes it. In the morning he leaves after soaking my ass with his cum. I ask if he is on a schedule, absolutely, he says. Funny, of course he is. He has seen a lot of death. He is a good man-of that I am sure-but there is so much to be scared of and so much about him that is dangerous. No doubt he is deadly. A trained killer who enjoys killing and has no qualms or guilt about it. I don't know if I will ever know this man. I do know I will enjoy him every second I am allowed. He has to train this morning and I make known that I have been running. He is impressed and says good girl and pats my ass. It pleases me. He leaves and I know he is downstairs just bidding my roommate farewell. I hurry into my socks and shoes and sports bra and shorts and make my way down the stairs. he gets in his truck as I run past him. Trying to make him proud.

Been an odd week. Saw the one I lost. He went out on a trip and came back with no word. I go to a watering hole after work to have a couple cocktails and hop in the pool. He texted asking what I was doing. Like an idiot I told the truth. "waiting for you to text me, of course." Oh boy. We made plans. I grabbed a bottle of Malibu and headed to his place. Excitement in my heart that I knew was a huge mistake. He opened the door and there it was again. That instant comfort. He was on the phone and put his arm around me with a silent kiss. He was always such a lousy hard lipped kisser unless he really wants to lay it on thick. And boy can he. I made us drinks. He got off the phone-his mother. Lacy boy shorts-his fave. I made quick work of him, again and again. We played around in things we had been experimenting in. He told me not to leave in the night until I slept. I agreed. The alarm went off and I left, heavy hearted again. I showered and was off to work. Smiling. Saddened at the same time. Pissed at fate but glad he still found comfort in me. There is something difficult to explain with some people. A feeling inside deeper than great sex and deeper than love. A meeting of spirits that supersedes anything else. He is not a tall man, he is not a particularly handsome man, he is not incredibly well endowed or skilled, but it just feels so good somewhere I can't even name when we are together. ------------------------------- There was a Bday party for one of the captains. It was halfway to the HB's house so I thought I would invite him. He agreed instantly which I thought was odd since he has been dating several women. I wait til after work, shower, change, slam a couple cocktails and drive that way. Its dark. I have to pee. I go into the house and am reminded that the captain is having his 60th bday and most of the people there are 60 as well. Its crowded. I smile as my chest if perused by both men and women alike wondering what the hell this obscenely curvy blonde is doing there. I use the ladies, wish happy bday and say I will be right back. I go outside to call him. He isnt answering but hes on a motorcycle and of course he isn't. I drive to the end of the street hoping to find something else to do. I wait, and wait. I see no singular headlights. I wait. I smoke. I wait. I grab a beer from the cooler and pull. Then I see it-one headlight coming down the road. I flash my lights, my vehicle is hard to miss but you never know. He pulls in. Fuking glorious looking man. All of 6ft4 and long hair nearly to his ass that is tied back in a tail to avoid road knots. Blonde streaks adorn it where it used to just be a dark brown. The keys have changed him and for the better I think. We were married young and neither of us having any idea how to be a good spouse-really managed to make a mess of things in short time. Having built an empire together that is un-liquidatable in this economy we are still bound by law, and by heart, but have found it beneficial if not necessary to keep 30 miles and separate residences in order to find peace. He smells incredible. His body hard as a rock and oblivious to his age. My heart skips and I shove it down deep into places I don't like to think about or admit exist. He shows me his bike. The things wrong with it, the things right with it. The entire time I am barely listening and wondering how in the hell things got so far out of hand and how far we have come in a years time. I tell him the party is geriatric and that we should do something else. After slamming a beer roadside we decide to go back to his place, park, and head to a bar he doesn't take any girls to. We do. The place he lives that I used to live too hasn't changed much. The boats are different and the people are the same. we head off to the bar. He is stunning and its apparent the regulars either love him or hate him. I throw my legs in his lap and we drink and talk. Flirt and kiss. I love him and hate him both. We leave and head back to his place. He gets rough because he knows I truly love it. I am bitten and tossed around. I am pounded in every direction and I scream and scream and soaked us both. He shoves my head into the bed and shoves his cock in my ass-telling me all the while he knows I love it. He is right. This way I do love it. Without choice and having to give over freely and take the intense pleasure. I scream and scream and cum all over. Heaven. I am left in a puddle and fall helplessly asleep. Dreamy. Why couldn't we ever get along this well before? Why did he find it so hard to lead and withhold the one thing he knows I need desperately? Control I suppose. Now we both have it and we both don't. Little did we know his girlfriend came by at 7am and saw my car. She is crying and miserable which makes clear to me that he hasn't been clear to her. Whatever. There is some BBQ and one of his girls is coming later on. He makes sure I am aware. I was thinking of staying but know better. I leave without saying goodbye and enjoy his phone calls I choose not to answer on the way home. Walking funny, sated, and wondering how thing got so far so fast. I chose this life, I have to live with it. I am ok with that. I begged him for this lifestyle a good 6 years before but his pride got in the way. After a bloody awful couple of years-he let me go. I need my lovers and I need my quest and freedom. I have to be ok with it. I swallow the thing growing in the throat and turn up the radio all the rest of the way home. The teal water spanning the bridges is breathtaking and I still can't believe I live here. This place is nothing if not magical. Life is good in the keys.

Oh Boy!!! Let me just say that first, sure hey i do not mind getting a little freaky every now and then. Honestly, I do not. But-for the love of freakin Lassie can I have a healthy sexual relationship with a man for, oh I don't freakin know, one freakin week before he tries, asks, hints, jabs fingers at, or otherwise makes it plainly obvious that he would like to get in my back door? OK. I get it. Like a cat with those little lizards its jiggly and round and there is an obvious attraction. Hey fine, yes it feels fine if done properly, and I'm all for it but can we agree on some ass-banging etiquette? DO NOT- a) talk dirty in my ear while ur inside me telling me its ok to tell you that I want my anus intruded. DUH! I am 35 freakin years old. Believe me, if I want it intruded you will know. You don't have to coax me like an amateur to unleashed my inhibitions and stuff urself inside the ole brown eye. b) Lets face it, we do a fair amount of drinking here in the keys. How bout not attempting that when I am hung over, have said I'm hung over, and have made several trips to your rest room before our lovemaking. DUh!!!! C) At least have the decency to toss my salad first!!!!! d) Can we master the front door first? e) Not in the morning, Unless you are some kind of scat sicky-which I am not-don't mess with the butt anywhere near the morning- f) I have a pristine and spectacular front door. There are men who forget that fact once you let them in the back door. I realize this may not be the case with you, but raving about what a wonderful front door it is before you try to get in the back is just good manners. its not like your ego doesn't require stroking. "Oh god its so big blah blah" g) do you just want in my back door because you want me to get in yours? I mean hell that is fine as long as you are doing my dishes and laundry and floors, but honestly, I am not sure how I can respect a man that wants me to have a dick too? eeeek h) can we just do it when im drunk? that way i dont have to worry about all these questions and issues and probably wont remember it when you foul it up. thanks for listening.

I am going to be so sad to leave. I am enjoying my life here so much. ten inches of 23 year old didn't call on me for pussy and smokes this weekend. I was a little upset about it but wouldnt get him out of my head so its for the best. Last thing i need. Ruin my pussy and break my heart. LOL Fighter pilot babe invited me out fishing. I brought a boy from the dock to answer some questions etc he had. Awkwrd but no one really knew each other anyway, we passed a giant swath on the way back and caught tuna. his wife flipped out and dropped off his wonderful daughtyers. 2 and 4 they dug me i dug them high energy. boogers etc. fighter pilot babe fed us all and put as all to bed. we made love. he did this thing, i think it was anchoring, squeezing my head in his bicep. pretty hot. i liked it and it made me cum harder. its weird-he doesnt want to hurt me but i want to be hurt and he must know that. LOLoh well. I went over there yesterday before the cancer benefit-he was getting out of the shower. fuk he looks so great naked. hes a shorter guy but such a masculine body. Things are so easy between us. hes easy to talk to and easy to let inside. we talked on the bed. i breathed him in. he filled my lungs with whatever he washed himself with, giant strong thighs and a perfect sprinkling of hair. he went down on me, slowly, i came very easily. i lay under him shaking. his features are daRK AND HE reminds me of a guy i accidently killed of the same name. his cock sank inside the wet mess we had just made and he slid in as deep as he could and just kept pushing. i came on him and he came too, then he let me cum again when my hips stopped shaking and were hungry again. so weird i met him on craigslist. LOL My trip was cancelled and now im doing trans atlantic crossing in November to the Greek Islands. I will miss my lovers. Oh yeah head of security at work was hitting on me and I got the phone number from some 21 year old kid who is supposed to be quite a great lover. we shall see I am pretty happy with fighter pilot boy.

So the one I lost comes in today. He's working the luxury vessel fishing. He sees I am happy to see him but refuses to smile. Oh well. I am doing really well. You look good, blah blah Anyway, Told him I have two weeks left give or take. He thinks its good I'm leaving and we both know it is. He looks good. Different but he looks good. I'd still do him. Who am I kidding. Hopefully he doesn't ask. LOL

I am soooo crabby today!!!!!!!

I just talked to my ex today. He is happy, or sounds happy. Collecting women and toys. Filling a void? I know it sucks it couldn't work out, but you refused to give me what I so desperately needed. Now you are happy to give it to others and though that cuts like a knife-ripping my guts out and stuffing them into my mouth to be covered with duct tape so that I am forced to taste my own painful juices--I know its for the best. I tried to get you to go along with this years ago, I am so glad you are doing well. but i hate you for it. sigh

---Please note: If it seems like I am getting an abnormal amount of cock in a short amount of time, please remember I am leaving to be on a vessel for 60 days and its arguable there will be any quality meat there.--- That being said- Blackwater babe came by. FINALLY! I was raped August 2nd and wanted the guy who did it killed so badly for a brief amount of time that I started seeking dangerous men. Needless to say that wore off and I came to my senses, but the babe from Blackwater is what came of it. I met him at my favorite bar, he drives a cab while on contract for Blackwater. He had this frightening look to him and he does this thing where he brings his eyebrows together and my pussy just screams in fear. And tall, he is 6ft4 or 5 maybe. We conversed briefly, he saw something in me, I took his number. We talked a little on the phone, he works all night. I was still mourning the loss of my number one lover and I think I went home with 10 inches of 23 year old that night. Then I found myself broken hearted and raped. Covered in bruises. Not sure if I was going to run into the asshole again. He knew where I lived and had forced me to submit to him, violently. I was walking around extremely disturbed. I called the scary Blackwater guy. He was instantly caring and alarmed. He came up to my work to see me. He touched me a couple of times and it bothered me. He said I had a far away stare that you only get from trauma. Anyway, I went to his house. Extremely modest with weapons and seal and hide in the grass suits all over. Military bags remained packed by the door-incase that call comes in. He was working I think it was a Sunday night. I didn't want to be alone. He had to leave with a couple of calls, but I felt so safe there. we didn't kiss for the longest time. He just laid beside me. Bed on a floor. Black sheets and pillows (of course) We started to kiss, the perfect kisses. Tippy tongues and gentle then he would ram his tongue in my mouth and leave it there. I didn't realize at the time how much I loved it. Like steering me with his. He told me he couldn't get close enough to me. Oh really? He finally had decided he waited long enough. I had come over in a nighty despite having just been raped the week before and covered with obvious restraint and cock screaming up my thighs bruised marks. He pulled my large 6ft body down, skirt raised naturally before him. He found my angry clit with ease and just knew magic. Magic you only know from being with someone a very long time. I to this day cannot tell how old he is. I hate to ask because I do not want them to ask too much about me. I have my reasons. I refuse to lie, so I must tell the truth but more often I find myself just not saying anything. Or saying, how well are we going to get to know each other here? I wonder if he wasn't married, with a family. Something terrible happened and he lost them. He joined the military to kill, because he likes it. I flipped through his DVD's once. Platoon and Deer Hunter and more war movies than you can imagine have ever been made and 4 like cases of the same. I asked him once if he likes shooter video games, he said he liked the real thing better. I attempted to explain its pretty real and he laughed, said his friends play them-he doesn't. Oooo-k. He made me cum five times. Leaving between a couple of them to do a job, returning and pleasuring me more. I don't require having my clit played with, but it is certainly good manners to start the dance that way. By the way-when he says friends-he means other vets. When he says I can't see you I am taking a friend to the hospital, its another vet who is dying of something and this is what he does with his free time, and here I am getting pissed that the guy won't come and fuk my pussy. he never even told me that, I just put it together myself. His friends are killers, hes a killer, and he feels only for other brothers in arms, and me just a little maybe. But-seeing that jet black mohawk between my thighs-did something very specific to me. He said nothing about my bruises. I needed that, I sucked his cock and felt that he was impressed. He stopped me and asked if I wanted to get on top of him, while doing a sexy thing with his eyebrows. Cute. I did. I crawled up his long body, straddled his massive cock, and fit it to me. Soaked. Before I could lower he was pushing up. I am ridiculously tight. Not because I don't believe in breeding, but because I believe your pussy muscles need to be exercised like any other. So I do. And it is. He was pleased. I have this huge ass that got in the way of something he wanted to do. He was being gentle, Restraining himself. It was difficult for him, to be sure. He slid out from underneath me, got behind me, put pillow under my tummy and proceeded to fuck me so slow and deep from behind I felt my cum running down my thighs. He had a mirrored closet that he liked to watch in next to us. Very hot. Last night was not like that. We barely got our clothes off. He was fucking me deep and hard from every possible position. I narrowly let him fuck my ass with that giant cock it was soo good, and I never ever let anyone do that. He fucked me outside on the balcony. This house shakes when there is movement. I can only imagine what my roommate was feeling last night. I have no idea how many times I came. Then this morning he fucked me the old school way from behind with the tummy pillows. If it wasn't the best sex yet, its only because I can't remember the best yet due to drunkenness. Dayum! That was good. Oh yeah, I forgot to tell you. What is the deadly assassins plans for the future? No I didn't ask, he just told me. He is saving all his money for a sailboat and plans to sail the world. Maybe if we know each other still I will get an invite to go along. We laid in bed all morning and he played with one of my cats. It's amazing to see how gentle he is. I talked to my captain on Yahoo today. His mother is having seizures and he is coming home. A relief captain is coming in to handle the vessel. He said we are going to fly over to St Thomas together. Then after St Thomas we are doing the trans atlantic crossing to Europe. Eeeek I have read about that trip. Lil scary. Two weeks. My life is about to change.

What is it about the Keys. A Sunday lazy with rain, then a Monday bright with sun. No hinderance of a million things to do, but an oil change and getting one's nails done. My ass tingles with non-expectation. It's a good thing to be alive in the keys. Life is beautiful here, and though I don't want to leave I know I have to take the next step in my life so that I may come back here and enjoy without the worry of finances and being someone's bitch.

Blackwater guy never showed. Some kid had died from a popular restaurant and bar on the ocean and he had to run the taxi back n fourth to make sure no one got a DUI or died. Nice. Didn't help me much. I texted him that I wanted to fuck shortly before I got off work. He said he was locked and loaded. Then I went to the bar for cocktails with my best friend and my roommate showed up. After 6 I had to go. I got home and showered and made another cocktail. It became clear after roommate got home that we were just going to get lit up and sit around. great. At least I'm out of trouble until I leave in two and a half weeks. I pass out. Nothing better to do, The phone rings, The Iphone-to certain people, important or otherwise interesting, I assign a casino type ring. The raunchy high pitched singing always wakes me up. I expect it to be Blackwater guy, I look at the screen. It's 5AM and its not. It's the boy I left my LTR for back in March. I say boy because he is 23 and I am 35 and well, you do the math. Not sure why, but something in the water down here. He is 6ft5 and every bit of a man as any 30 year old asshole I have been with. I affectionately refer to him as my 10 inches of 23 year old. I answer, its either an invitation to bring him pussy and smokes, which I have absolutely no problem doing as he is one of those lovers that breathes in your hair and says the things that others are afraid to say. His sweet and goofy disposition allows him leeway into places most wouldn't go. That and when he throws that long lean body over mine and we wraps up together and just lay and feel-its something akin to heaven and I often think my heart my have a direct line to my pussy when I am with him. sigh Hello, (my name) he says, how are you doing this lovely evening? He's ok, I think, wonderful, and thank God. He asks if I was sleeping. Yes, I ask if he is ok. He proceeds to tell me he is walking down US1, and gave a stripper his last five dollars for a cab. You have to love this kid, he's a real giver and dead honest to boot. I am on my way, I say, and hang up. He calls back as I can getting clothes on. He's lonely and just wants to talk. He tends to get a little sad from time to time. He is very sensitive and its a beautiful thing about him. He almost broke my heart once. I fell very hard for him when I left my LTR. The age thing really wasn't an issue but we didn't "hang out" anywhere but alone. He started talking to a girl he knew from highschool. (I know right) and they started kicking it. She wanted him to quit smoking. I wouldn't change a thing about him. His hair is thinning on top and I think it keeps him humble. If not for that the boy is truly perfect-inside and out, and clueless about it. Anyway, he told me he was seeing her, like matter of factly, I quit smoking for a girl, and I realized that it hurt and that he was always going to be hurting me-I BACKED WAY OFF. We didn't share a bed for a couple of months after that. I was at a bar, broken hearted from losing my lover to a death and I drunk dialed him. He said it sounded like a booty-call. I said no we are friends and friends hang out. He said I could come over. I brought him smokes and pussy. Just as I intended to do this time. We talked on the phone as I drove closer to him, The sky got heavy and a downpour was inevitable. He said I was close. I pulled in and saw him. Fuck he looked so happy to see me. My heart lightened and I got giggly as I tend to do where he is concerned. The rain hit as we drove. Blinding and I wished I was out in it naked with him instead of taking him home. Store. Headed to his house, he tells me he wants to go to mine. There are a ton of people at his house for the sandbar party tomorrow/today. After we are already there. I just love him so I don't care. We go by his house, the driveway is full. I recognize them all and one in-particular that I didn't want to see. Sure we can go to my house. We get there, he likes my sailfish over the door. Of course he does hes a fisherman. I leave him alone in my room for one second to pour a healthy glass of gatorade and hes already putting my clothes on from my closet. Nothing gay, just funny, hes a big tall boy and in my ladies t shirts with micro pockets and my jean cutoff shorts that almost fit him and the dorky sunglasses he grabbed from my Jeep, well, its adorable. Hes just not afraid to be a goofball. I was just with him last week. He called again, maybe just for a ride or whatever but we've never seen each other this frequent before. We touch, its as good as I remember. Something about him just calls to my body, or something inside. It just turns on and brightens. I can tell he feels it too, he breathes in deeply and sighs. Fuk he feels so good to me. He takes his shorts off. His shirt was shed long ago. His cock is true and thick. I love the way it swings twice then settles, he does to, he is always walking around naked when he can. His roommate is hairy, leaves hair everywhere, and perhaps walking around with his cock out is his way of getting even. LOL The scent of drinking all day for some reason smells appealing on his breath. Normally I may gag but it mixes well on him. We are both ready, he is going to be here for a while, there is no reason to wait. I get on top of him. I am soaked. I fight to get him inside me and he shoves with his hips. Fire burns my spine and I find myself in the fastest, sweetest orgasm I remember having. I fall asleep on top of him. He is always upset with himself when he cums quickly, I think its adorable and we made love 15 times in the course of 12 hours. I rode him into five orgasms in a row for which he was amazed and kept saying, "again" "again" like a kid. Gawd I just love him. Taking him home was the hardest thing I've done lately. I love the way he feels. soo good. Soo sweet and so true and honest, he said he could get used to this. I said he would go crazy and keep changing his mind. the truth is things are perfect the way they are, call me when you have time for me. when you don't i will seek pleasure else where. my heart is black but that doesn't mean i don't love you, I am actually sore. Fuk I miss being able to fall in love. When its good its so good til it goes bad.

You know the more I get in touch with my submissive side, well I always knew it was there.. I think back to lovers who wanted me to do this and that and this in order to get love and sex and I just couldn't bring myself to do it. I wanted them to make me do it, or handle it themselves. Why the underside of a man's chin was devastatingly sexy to me. It all makes so much sense now. But-as I was saying-the more I embrace my subservient wenchness-the more I notice men that are dominate. People I have known or talked to for a while, it becomes clear what side of the fence they fall on. I can spot them. Does this also mean they can spot me? Almost like a scent. My breasts swell and my crotch moistens every time I see a dominate male and I think of being on my knees looking up at him. Hearing his deep voice in my ear from behind. Fuck. I have got to stop getting myself all worked up at work. If I masturbate in the bathroom one more time I am going to pass out due to loss of sweat!!!! define hell? Three and a half days off in one more hour! What to do, what to do. Rape me!

So they want me to pick up big rocks on the dock today. I am happy to do so, however, I have to go to maintenence, the new "engineering" as per our new beloved GM, and ask for a rock bucket, rake and shovel. 100$ bets you that they refuse to give me such things and send someone else to take care of the matter directly. Sigh. No more saying, "that isn't my job" but God forbid I try to do some hard labor once in a while. sigh Some say I belong on a dock as much as one belongs at the bottom of the sea. I love this dock, these captains, ALL OF THE MATES!!!

My heart is so black. I never learn. Fresh from a torturous drawn out hell, into a perfect bliss. Sweet comfortable sex, lasting all day, or days. Deciding not to commit for the good of mankind. Sure to keep happiness and butterflies a flying. Laying in bed, talking about how happy we were-why fuck it up? Falling asleep with a huge smile on our faces and your cock inside me. Then the phone rings. Brothers dead. You are screaming. and screaming, and screaming, and being completely thrown that a man is capable of making absolute-agony sounds. And you had to leave. Of course you did. And you were gone. And when you came back, we had one day together, where you seemed almost like you, and between tears and whaling I could see you still there. I gave you head and put you to bed. You woke and begged me not to leave you alone in that house. And of course I wouldn't. But I returned you to them. The place from where you grew, there with your brothers-dead. And you never came back. You changed when we arrived and you never came back. I see you every now and then. Passing on the only road here. You are not there. In your truck, that smells like the essence of you. I don't know who you are but you are not there, Laying in bed-thinking how happy we were. Jinx it, will you cunt? Think of bliss again, I dare you. You may as well have died with them, and maybe you did. You are not more popular dear lover, you simply have the confidence that comes with not fucking caring anymore. Dangerous and devious as you have become. Now you know truly what made me run; you have a taste for it. It is truly difficult to cleanse yourself of without fear. Funny how that works, is it not? Replace you. As desperately or calmly as I try them on, I find nothing that feels as good as you once did. Not even close. No comfort. No easy orgasms. No sweet relief. And maybe it never really existed. So then what? Violence, pain-because it hurts so bad anyway-and lust. My new best friends. I fucking hate you. Just look what you've done to me. Now you're a liar and I can barely remember what you tasted like. Maybe we all died a little that night, with the sky on fire with lightning. We stopped and looked up above us, barely believing what we both knew to be true-things would never be the same and this was the last moment we ever had together. There in the night, with tears down your face and me shaking, under the violent lighting sky. Good-bye lover-I am changed forever. And neither one of us can fuck the pain away...

OMFG! What is the deal. Hot kill-me biker guy shows up to my work wearing a cartoon cows fucking shirt, I SHIT YOU NOT PEOPLE!!!! Cows fucking! Tells me I can pick one. I was mortified. If I had a dick my hardon would have withered, right then and there, How can you be oblivious to how retarded that looks on a grown man who is supposed to whip ur ass? Anyway, I went home. Pilot babe called. Dumbass me-I go over there. He lives so close if he could just get it together-it would be awesome. We bullshit for like 30 minutes hes like check out my bed-blah blah his two kids are there-he is an awesome dad-they are very young and in bed. HE CAN'T FIND A CLIT TO SAVE HIS FUCKING LIFE! Or maybe he doesn't give a shit to? If that were the case I doubt we would spend so much time talking and laughing. He like fumbles around my body for a few minutes until I am utterly bored and frustrated. i get up to leave and see his handsome -I just got divorced and had my heart handed to me with my ass-face-and I just flip him over and ravage him. He cums inside me AGAIN! Two minutes maybe this time-guess he is doing better there, but I hate it when they cum inside me.... WTF!!!!! Anyway, blah blah blah he tells me how awesome I am. I am thinking fuk I gave up sleep for this when I have to work at 5AM. I am ready to give up here. The ten inches of 23 year old I love fuking-is too skittish to do anything daily-even if im leaving,. The Blackwater dood keeps saying yes yes yes, but then i dont hear from him or he doesnt answer. Biker guy thinks cartoon fuking cows are manly... (gag) The mate dood from the dock is probably just as inexperienced as the pilot guy. Maybe I just need a nice older guy? someone with coffee breath and great manners. (Now cow fuking shirts in is closets to speak of) So frustrating. Or I could go back on the dick-wagon until I get out of here. Not worry about any of this-and try to come up with new and interesting ways to do myself... NOT!!!!!!

So.... At work. two more hours... waiting blows. I hate being horny at work.

Well I put an add on CL and got a couple bites. Met one. Tall, powerful. Interesting. scary. armed. Incredible kisser. But, though he could have done the job, he didn't choose to. Not sure if he is trying to not scare me off or what, structure and discipline-is that too much to ask?

It occured to me. My journey is just beginniing. who cares if I dont find someone before i leave

Pilot lasted 20 seconds by the way, He did this weird thing where he was poking at my kitty, it wasn't arousing so i started giggling,. I know horrible thing to do right. I just flipped him over and rode him, until he blew. Just laid there, didnt touch my big beautiful breasts or anything, gawd I hate this search. Pierced penis?

Long day at the office. UG!

Sidenote: Fighter pilot babe gets in today. Will he be worth his salt? Inquiring minds want to know.

Hey, Incase you were wondering.. I am all full up of long distance webcam pals who want to tell me to do stupid shit in front of the camera. K pal? All good there. Does me no good. Does nothing for me. I get nothing from it. I sure as hell don't consider that serving anyone or whatever. Don't be a cheap bastard and pay the professional girls with 8.5 kids in Romania on their websites-don't hit me up for it.. Grrr 18 days.

Twice before 9:30 am, I am guessing that is pretty bad This babe is coming from Cali to live down the street. He seems promising. Leaving again after october so no huge commitment there. You know how I am with that word. eeeek. He seems smart and knows some... Will he figure out the rest or will it happen naturally? My guess is no. I like to be prepared and then pleasantly surprised.

Grocery store felt like all the men were staring at me.WTF?

Slept better. Woke up soaked. roommate is gone for the day. Laying around in my nighty being naughty feel good. shall I dirty sanchez his pillows? Nah.

I learned something

Feeling a bit down today. Its been too long. I am not getting the clarity I thought would come. But there is no going back to things that do not please me anymore. I could use some discipline.

Wow that is the white vampire babe Spike from Buffy the Vampire slayer on the Sci Fi channel right now. Some kind of western cowboy future thing. Day 13-no cock. Rob didn't call. I must have pissed him off good. I know he wants sum, but something is holding him back. Colby didn't call. What a relief. I was talking to this babe in a chatroom who said I was clearly submissive and had slave tendencies. We were talking about sailboats. (WTF?) I am sick of chasing down decent cock. It's exhausting. Came 6 times today. Still aching to be filled. Roommate smoked a pork butt and chicken thighs and my best friend Randy came by and made ahi bernaise. nice just got a cal from a high school buddy, his checking account got robbed for child support and they took his chicks money from the account. hes way too upset about it. its just money,. she must be trippin on him. maybe they are married now. maybe that is the true problem. im alone.

Male Dominant, 37

Male Dominant, 59, NJ / NY / London, New Jersey

Male Dominant, 51, Lehigh Valley, Pennsylvania

Female Dominant, 33

Male Dominant, 43, Westboro, Massachusetts

Male Dominant, 54

Male Dominant, 39, Westchester/NYC, New York

Male Dominant, 50, detroit, Michigan

Male Switch, 30, kissimmee, Florida

Male Submissive, 47, Carlasbad, California

Male Dominant, 57, Manchester

Male Submissive, 26, Dubai