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i am not seeking 56 shades of fucked up, perhaps 4 or 5!! I am no Anastasia. I was once, many years ago. I was introduced to the lifestyle by a mature, intelligent, wealthy, upstanding member of the community, who happened to be a experienced Master and Dominant. He was able to see something in me, that i had no name for. Something that was a part of me as my eye color and body height. He could tell i was submissive, and finally i had a name for all of these feelings that i had experienced for so long and was sure that i was the only one on the planet that had these tendencies. He patiently taught me what i was and guided ,nurtured and molded me into and helped me embrace what i was. He was my teacher, mentor, protector and Master. He educated me, protected me and under his tutelage i blossomed like a flower. I am every thing i am today because of this man. He was my Master, lover, Daddy, and my best friend. He collared me, branded, pierced and tattooed me, i was his, body and soul and i never felt as free as when i was kneeling naked at his feet, kissing his boots.
Sadly, he became ill and had to release me. We still remained close friends untill his passing. My body still carries his marks and are a constant reminder of our time together.
Many years have passed by and i have never sought out another, vanilla or Dom.
However i have periods when i have this need in me to serve, to feel the sting of the lash, to kneel before on of Merit. I know my FM would not want me to spend the remains of my days fantasizing about what was and what could have been.
I am ready to find someone, who like him, is intelligent, educated, and well versed in the lifestyle and really knows what it curtails. It is so much more than the physical punishment, the mind must be involved as well and a true Master/Dom knows this in his very soul.
I am not looking for TPE or 24/7, I am not really sure what i am looking for at this point to be honest. A friend, who after a time of corresponding that may be interested in play, perhaps something more serious, i just don't know at this point. I am tired of living in the past and want to experience some reality for a change. Does any of this make sense?
Are you out there?...................regards...............t
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