SubsDom2

WOW I just realized that all of my OLD journal ramblings are still on here. Too funny. I will have to go back and read them all.   Anyone who is interested in us can find more about us onFet (not really a space right here but the site will not let me type the whole name) Life with the same user name as on here.   The profile there is VERY complete.  

I have decided that anyone who says "seeking for"  in their profile is simply going be hidden.  That is just crap grammar. Ugh
You can seek "a" something, "to" do something, or just seek but you can not seek "for" something.   
 
 Seek:

I have decided today I am going to list random mainly nonBDSM things I like although there will be some over lap. I need to spend some time on the +.? So this list is going to just grow and grow as I come up with stuff. :) Way random!

Calla lilies (don't grow here :(

Sun Flowers

Bamboo

Cacti

Large pearl tapioca pudding

Boba tea (leechi fruit flavor w/ leechi jelly)

Rosemary & Dill (herbs)

Awesome cheeses

Symmetry

Organizing stuff:closets, offices, shelves, etc

Making others smile

Teaching people about health topics (my other job CPR and HIV/BBP educator)

Creating training manuals (love my job)

Bacon (still chewy, Sir likes it crunchy)

Plum wine (I am very picky about which kind)

Swedish Fish candy
Shiny tall black lace up boots
Pad Thai
Sushi especially Unagi?

Sashimi
All shellfish and crustaceans from the sea(as food)
Fine tip ball point pens that write smoothly
Office supplies in general (odd one, I know)
Games like Virtual Villagers, Plants VS zombies, and Mahjong
Puppy tails that wiggle so fast they can not walk straight
Good coffee with lots of milk and vanilla syrup
Biscuits and sausage gravy
Tamales in Banana leaves. (square)
The taste and smell of leather
Silly wind up toys
Illumination candles that smell like fruit or patchouli
Seeing people learn and grow
Well done and placed tattoos
Hearing crickets at night
Lanterns with candles in the garden
High gloss enamel paint in bright colors
Having every room in my house a different color
Rum and coke
The colors green, eggplant, and black
Shiny silver anything

The smell of horses
Leisurely paddling in the canoe watching the fish in the water
Seeing my flowers bloom and plants create food
Creating spread sheets in Excel
Lollipops (red Charms sweet & sour)
Awesome spicy salsa and freshly made chips
Art that I can & want to touch
My freshly waxed/shaved skin on clean sheets
Heavy down comforters
The low consistent sound of a fan as I sleep)

Tiramisu (quality not crappy)

Foot rubs

The sun

Stout beer w/chocolate & coffee (Mocha Death beer + a shot of Espresso)

Medium rare steak w/ salt & pepper

Nag Champa incense

Rocks and rock formations

Simple Green household cleaner(does not smell bad but also does not disinfect :(? )

My feet

Black nitrile gloves(use them for everything)

Buying black panties

Being waxed (the rip the hair out kind)

Eating things with a baby spoon (just because it takes longer no baby fetish at all)

Eating with chop sticks

Pesto

Smell of lavender plants

Naps in the hammock

Laughing??

Watching music videos from my youth

Sharpening pencils(yep another office supply thing)

I am so bored by stupidity and laziness. In others online, it is interesting for a minute until I realize it for what it is. Then I just feel sad, then nothing for that person's existence.

Sucks to be an idiot like them and great to be me.  B bye to them.?

"Hide user" So they can still look but I do not have to.? ? {*_*}

The weather is lovely, and I am growing frustrated and impatient looking for a little flower to play with, hmmm or is it a little one to play with my flower? ^_^ 

Ya, both I think!!!

As?I look at some people's lists of likes, etc.. I am often struck by just?how many things some people are willing to place "expert" next to.?Although?I myself could claim almost as many years of experience as some of the people on here have been alive,?I still do not consider my self an "expert". I certainly know more than some but I hope to always have plenty of room to learn more. Thus,?I reserve the "expert" title for only a few things?I have a particularly large range of knowledge about. But even then?I am hesitant because it will be different with each person and?I am no expert on everyone. I hope never to be an expert in everything. Part of the fun for me is learning and growing in new ways.

Hide user, Hide user, Hide user,  Awe the fun of getting back on the site and weeding out all of the profiles we are not interested in. God I love the ?Hide user? button. No insult to them and they simply stop coming up in my searches. I have hit it at least 100 times in the past 2 days.  I am frustrated by the number of ladies who do not write much in their profiles though. I am reluctant to "hide" them but also not interested until they show they can think and write. Also what is with people not filling out all of the interests section? Come on, that is the easiest and most fun part of the whole profile.

All experiences in life are worth experiencing if you have the right attitude about it. With that in mind, I am wiser for the experiences of the past and I am back on the search for our sub.
Sir was right as usual, my eggs were in one basket and now I have none. I did have a fun little omelet though. ^_^

I will smile through my sadness and be happier for it.

And I have made some small but important additions to our profile based on what we have learned.

25 days until our potential sub comes for her first visit. We are getting very apprehensive about whether she is the one. Will we like each other in person? Will she like it here? Is she really the right one for us? Can she commit? So many questions......

Our potential sub is set to come visit in December. YAAAAAAA If things work out we will be moving her in by April or June, get her enrolled in college here in the Summer or Fall, and then we will be done needing this site.

Fingers crossed, we are in the home stretch of this search.

My busy work schedule continues. I am on the road multiple days a week lately and it is getting tiring. Plus the household duties are left undone and build up during my absence, which?I just hate having to?deal with?it after a hard week. Also,?I have no little pet to play with when I get home. One more stress for me and for Sir because no sub for me means my needs as a Mistress are not being met. Thus,?I am a bit more aggressive with him and make him work harder too as my Dom.?UGH we need a sub!!

The finding a sub part at least seams to be going OK. (I say that with my fingers crossed.) We have a potential that we have been speaking with, which is why?I have not been trolling this site very much,?but she is across the country and the first face to face?is months away due to having to work around her school schedule. Which is reasonable, but still, I am human and impatient at times. I keep dropping not subtle hints about how much cheaper it will be to go to college here, how it will be easier to study living here, etc... I feel like a very creepy college rep.? :P
I am?particularly eager?for the first face to face to see if we should even move forward. This distance issue added to trying to get to know a person is making me crazy.
I think that if it does not work out with this one?I am going to need a break for a while. I have had my hopes dashed a few times now and I just do not have it in me to start the whole process over again right away.

Wish us luck

Sir and I went to the Kinky Carnival in Seattle last weekend. It was our first time to the venue and was a great experience. Everyone was very nice and open to questions about the equipment they were using. I also got to try out a few new things. I learned that single tails and whips are not for me, I am still just a flogger girl. But I did have to have the guy with the electro booth stop because apparently the talons can rather easily make me come without ever going near my genitals. In fact, I was actually pretty much clothed. (I am only allowed to come for Sir. So, I had to act fast and compose myself enough to say we had better stop. I was not expecting that at all.) Sir was just getting a kick out of seeing me squirm and squeal and had no clue until I told him afterwards. The orgasm potential snuck up on me really fast. I am such a sensation slut :) Fun fun That is a new toy on my Christmas list for sure.

Anyone who was there drop me a note and say HI. I was the lady in the black and red Chinese dress, black collar, and the high heel boots that laced to my thighs. I love an occasion to dress up and give Sir something to show off. I wish we lived closer to more events.

I am becoming tired of being the one to do all of the contacting. rarely does a female sub contact me. LADIES: IF YOU ARE INTERESTED CONTACT ME AND SHOW THAT YOU ARE REALLY WILLING TO PUT IN SOME EFFORT.

I have to say that I am rather concerned for the very young girls who are so eager to move into anyone?s home NOW. Yes it is one thing to want to be a live in sub. In fact that is what we are looking for. However, it is unhealthy for any relationship to rush into living together too fast. Once one throws in the added aspect of BDSM, things can go very wrong even faster if you do not know the person you are moving in with and now allowing to tie you up. A BDSM relationship must be based on trust. Would you trust someone to take your car for a week after just chatting a few times? But yet some young ladies would give their well being and life over to someone under those same circumstances. That has the makings for one more negative story which gives BDSM a bad name.

So, now Sir and I have decided that we will not consider anyone under 21 unless they present them selves to us and truly are able to show a level of maturity beyond their years.

Please be careful.

The impulsiveness of our youth often becomes the regrets of our adulthood.

It has been a month since I was on this site. I have been happily busy with work, Sir, my household tasks and chatting with a potential "third" to our relationship. 

I grow impatient though I know the process of finding a "third" for our home must be done properly and with care. However, I desire it so badly. I NEED a sub. My mind swims with all the little sadistic pleasures that I can impose on her. How the little whines, squirms, and moans will make me smile as I train her to my liking. I long to watch her gracefully struggle to do even simple tasks under my imposed strain of corset and binding. And I want to feel the satisfaction of Sir?s smile as I present her to him like a properly wrapped gift for him to play with and us to share if he so chooses.

In my softer moments, I want to bath and caress her from head to toe and have her do the same to me. To work in my garden, take long naps in the hammock, and walk the dogs together. To watch her sleep, to be happy to see her when I come home from work, and to know that she is caring for OUR Sir and OUR home when I am away.

But in the end, all the longing in the world does not make the road shorter and short-cuts only make it easier to get lost.  But the lure of the other paths persist non-the-less. My love for my Sir is my compass that keeps me on the proper road.  

I find myself being very irritated during too many chat sessions with potentials. If I set an appointment to chat, I have dedicated my time to that person and expect the same. Distractions should be limited and if they do occur, they should be explained. Even taking a moment to go to the bathroom should be said. I am not one who will sit around for ten minutes waiting for each reply to a conversation with no reason. That is a waste of time and wasting my time is one of my greatest irritants. Also, if technical issues occur, it is common courtesy to make every effort to reconnect within a short period of time or at least to send an email to apologize and explain what happened as soon as possible, even if that means going to a friends house or the library the next day to send the email. In real time such disrespects, whether intentional or not, would call for clear reprimands and if continued would simply result in the dismissal of a sub/partner.

Honestly, I am not unreasonable and truly hope that the potentials that I have taken the time to chat with are serious and able/willing to make amends for these indiscretions. I have been impressed with them in other matters. If not, I also hope that this journal note serves to help other potentials better understand my expectations.

I do not mean to sound like a bitch but I have to note to all of you ladies who keep posting pictures with your chin tilted down STOP IT!!!  This is particularly important for those of us who do not have defined jaw lines or have a few extra pounds. I say this from an artistic and a models point of view. When modeling I always want to put my chin down for the "sexy look" but it really just makes me look fatter. Long necks are sexy. So, chin up ladies for the sexy looks. The more you have to look up at the camera the more submissive you look, the better the cleavage shot, any dark circles under the eye are reduced, and it is slimming because our hips are farther away from the camera. If you are a Domme, chin up and slightly forward with a straight eye line is sexy and in control. Features every Domme should flaunt. :)  Also, look at the crap all over the room behind you. Piles of clothes and magazines indicate poor dicipline. Not a good thing when advertising yourself as a sub or Domme.  OK those are just my observations. Take them as you wish. All women are beautiful. We just are not all taught how to show that beauty in the best light.

I was weak today. I am supposed to be working hard to loose 20 more pounds but I am a slave to my food cravings too. I have never had to diet or watch what I eat in my life until this past 4 years. It sucks!!

Tonight, on my way back from the office, I stopped at Jack in the B and got the $1 burgers. Sir was in the living room when I got home and saw me with them. I immediately felt guilty, but I still wanted them. He lectured me, told me how disappointed he was and then left it to me to decide.  I ATE 2. They tasted great but now I feel sick from eating such crap food and the guilt. Also, I know that I will pay for it with my bare ass in spanks and probably no orgasms.  But the guilt is worse. If he had taken them from me, it would have been easier than this. The idea that I chose to disappoint him even after he confronted me is weighing on me so heavy. I know he does it because he loves and cares for me. He wants me to be and feel beautiful and healthy.

I am going to go ride 30 miles on the bike. Maybe that will make me feel a little better. At least it will help prevent the burgers from going to my ass and get me tired so I will sleep well. And tomorrow I will thank him every time he hits me for my weakness.

I am sorry Sir. Thank you for being my strength and loving me so much.