subnaturale


subnak Female Submissive, 40	subnaughtynurs Female Submissive, 43, Southeast, Wisconsin	subnaugustaga Male Submissive, 33, augusta, Georgia

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	About subnaturale Be Respectful...do not disrespect me by disregarding the Code of Ethics of the Traditional BDSM Foundations. she hopes that you do take the time to read this profile/journal entries in their entirety. No cyber (cam) phone or messenger sexual conversation will be tolerated, no exceptions. This one is serious and real about who and what she is... no games, no players. if Y/you are a collector, then i have no time for Y/you if Y/you are looking for casual sexual pleasure, i have no time for Y/you if Y/you are looking for a 24/7 an online submissive, then i have no time for Y/you if Y/you are wanting to talk and exchange ideas.. then continued communication is welcomed and encouraged. Please note: if i have read Y/your profile, it is probably because i found it interesting. i do not have time to send a note to everyone, but please feel free to contact me. I prefer to meet new people and network with those who have a true knowledge and understanding of the lifesyle, its fundamentals, and the dynamics of the M/s D/s foundation

It seems as time goes on .. the things that brought us together had gone to the wayside. Not sure if I just got comfortable; or what happened exactly. I do know the expectations changed on my part. When I let the feelings that had taken so long to be voiced be expressed openly.. things just changed.. most likely within myself only... I have only perceived it to be otherwise.

In quiet reflection and speculation, I let my mind be free to wander as to why it seemed things had grown differently and become more disconcerting, uncomfortable and ultimately less satisfying than in the first years that this relationship had begun its evolvement. What had changed?

First of all, it was necessary to rediscover and affirm what had made this attraction so strong. In all my memories of Him, from the very first time I had ever laid eyes on Him so many years ago, His energy and aura exuded only Power, Strength and Determination. He was truly the strong, silent type. Speaking little, however being very observant of all things around him. He was mysterious in manner and more than desired by many.

He was clear in what He desired. He did not want weak ones in His realm. He wanted one who would be strong, devoted, and obedient. As we saw more and more of one another, my attraction to Him grew deeper. He confused me for sexual encounters were not on His agenda. We talked, spending hours catching up on lost years, former common acquaintances, future goals and plans. We found sanctuary with each others company.

He made it perfectly clear that in a year's time, He would not have the time spend with me. He would be working and personal time would be nonexistant.

My work took me out of town for extended periods of time. There were weeks that we would not be able to see one another. Communication was solely via telephone and text messages. Life was easy for Us. There were no issues of loneliness or insecurity. He spent whatever time he could with me. Many times surprising me by being at the house waiting for me to get home after being gone for several weeks.

My health eventually caused me to have to resign my position. This had a devastating impact on my overall well being. My own personal goals were indefinitely put aside. I was losing everything..my home, my vehicle..that I had worked so hard for. I had to learn to be completely dependent rather than independent and self sufficient. My depression became life threatening.

He took it upon Himself to move into the house, just to be assured that I was safe. This was not discussed, He just did it. He made me go out and enjoy evenings out, which at times were under protest.

Eventually, I had to move out of the house that had been home for several years. Master knew I needed something to do. He gave me tasks to help Him with His business. I moved to another town. He made sure I was taken care of. There were many miles between us. Business became the nucleus of each day's priorities. Personal time became nonexistant.

My rants started with angry words lashed at Him, temper tantrums, total disrespect. I quit the company. He fired me. It was a rollercoaster. Then the issues with the others began to creep in. They were closer to Him. They saw Him more than I did. I convinced myself that I was nonexistant to Him, of no value or importance. No longer His Number 1, as He had once referred to me. I began to question the trust, accusing Him of lies. I questioned the collar, its meaning and significance. I doubted, not only the very essence of our relationship, I doubted Him. Those doubts reeked havoc in my mind, literally driving me crazy. I did not want to be without him. I could not imagine Him not in my life. Something had to change! (Notice I refer to something changing, not someone.)

So, the question looming over me; the obstacle and challenge was 'What had changed and how does go back to how it was meant to be?'

The answer and solution were simple and clear once I acquired the ability to open my mind and truly grasp the reality of the issues that troubled me. During the course of time, I had become complacent with my duties and responsbilities in regard to my true relationship with Him. I had unconsciously and unintentionally disregarded my place in the relationship.

As time went on, I also developed unrealistic expectations in the subconscious mind. These expectations led to irrational thoughts and an unreasonable closed mindness as to what I percieved as His shortcomings.

In meditative speculation, my subconscious mind came to realize that He had not done or said anyting other than what He had always told me. His actions, words, and very being were just as they had always been. it came to mind that once I spoke to Him the words, 'I love You" my mind took on a different attitude. He had told me once that when a woman says 'I love you' everything goes to hell. This observation was more than absolutely accurate. After being with Him for 6 months or so, I knew I loved Him. I loved Him for His caring, His strength, His support, His energy, His will, His power. I loved Him for the person He revealed to me. His heart, His soul, His Life values and convictions.

When I voiced to Him those 3 words, my mind went haywire and the reasons for loving Him were not considered. He had and was doing just as He had always said He would. My expectations and my perceptions were more demanding, more unreasonable, and mostly unrealistic. I had to take a step back and reevaluate my emotional and mental connections. I had to get back in touch with the REALITY.

He NEVER once asked or demanded that I love Him. It is total selfishness that causes me to demand that He allow me to love Him or be loved by Him as I perceive it should be. It is with disrespect that I distract Him from His Life goals and objectives by arguing and fighting with Him over my own selfish wants and desires and insecuritites. He has never neglected His promise to me. He has never been the One to leave me unsafe or not taken care of. He has protected me; He has kept me alive and well.

When the light finally shone through the clouds of despair, and I was able to accept all of the insights revealed to me, the clarity sought no longer evaded my troubled spirit. He understood completely when I was able to reveal to Him what I had discovered.

Today, I take comfort in knowing that I am able to say 'I love You' without Him cringing or becoming rigid for He knows I love Him for His humanity, not for the unrealistic emotional insanity rollercoaster. Taking that step backwards has been the best choice I could have ever made. That choice has brought me back to the place I truly need and want to be. It has restored the foundation, the trust between Us that is needed to survive the trials, challenges and tribulations of Life and living.

??? The Right to...???

As Your property,

does this one have the right to demand that You love me and allow me to love You as i think it should be?

does this one have the right to expect You to take care of her financially, emotionally, mentally, physicallty, or sexually when those terms were never were never discussed prior to the arrangement made when she entered into Your service?

does this one have the right to be unappreciative of what You do for her, even if it seems to be little or not enough?

does this one have the right to make demands of You?

does this one have the right to put her expectations upon You?

does this one have the right to disrespect You when she does not get her way with You?

does this one have the right to use manipulation tactics through means of emotional, mental, physical blackmail or temper tantrums when she does not get what she perceives as enough attention?

Does this one have the Right to.... as Your slave, Your property; does she retain the right to???

A new year.. well a couple weeks and days into it.. the previous year, upon recollection, filled with challenges, obstacles, changes... doubts and fears.. resolutions, plans, goals, objectives new and renewed.

Life, as it once was thought it should be, has not showed evidence of that fairytale being realilty. It has, instead, drawn me down paths less traveled.. Growth is painful. Yet rewarding. A year gone by.. and i am able to count the number of nights spent with Master. LIFE.. determined that there were other priorities to keep Us from being together every night as we had been the year prior.. LIFE has also taught the strength of the ties that bind. LIFE has revealed that mere existance is not a worthwhile pursuit of happiness. LIFE has brought to light experiences that resulted in changes of growth...no matter how resistant my mind may have been, resistance is futile.

Recently, in a conversation with Master. she was speaking to Him of the revelations that had come to her.. He referred to her as being melancholy.. perhaps just a small bit of her was.. however.. the heart, soul, and mind combined to create a force of PEACEFULNESS which had never been consciously experienced in her soul. This past year, with all the challenges, the changes, the growth.. a new energy has been created. Or perhaps it has always been there,, it is now simply released. her spirit is vivid. Her love is deeper than ever thought possible.

Once in conversation, it was said that when a woman says she loves Me, then trouble starts.. in retrospect, i know this to be true. So to Him i retracted the love i professed...for love is so variable and complex.. and simplicty is truly desired in all its form.

Today.. she speaks to Him.. she does not speak of the emotional part of her that is so profound (the LOVE) she speaks to Him of the whole being of her that she has given to Him for all of eternity.. today she simply LIFES her Master...

Letter to a Novice..

...It seems there are so many that are not true or real in this cyberworld we all depend upon. Therefore, it seems, the search, the journey and the embarkment can be a long and painful, even frustrating process.

When entering into the world of BDSM and Dominance & submission, my knowledge was little and my experience null. I determined slavery would not be an option for me because I did not want to lose my sense of self nor did I like the idea of no control. Total Power Exchange was a limit that I did not want to experience. However, with experience, learning, and proper mentoring, I developed and evolved. Slave mentality was instilled and me, I have accepted that part of my being without regret or fear.

...there is a group for Old Guard and its history. One that is very educational and straightforward. My personal perception of Old Guard is simple in theory: Communincation, Loyalty, Obedience, Trust, and Honor. Old Guard is strict with no room for foolery or lack of knowledge. I have been fortunate enough to be mentored in Old Guard. I hold it dear to my heart. Also keep in mind that Old Guard Masters are trained and not allowed be considered Master until approved by their peers. The traditions of Old Guard are the foundation of the BDSM life as I know it today.

My Master has taken the time to learn me inside and out. He saw that I had good qualities for being in control and taking charge. through His encouragement, I have once again evolved into a new aspect of this lifestyle. When you ask how long was my captivity/training/etc.. the only response I can honestly give you is this: I was never a captive, for when my Master took ownership of me, it was given to Him freely. An open heart, an open mind and proper teaching from various people is what allowed me to grow and evolve. The teaching/learning/training never stops. Once it does then you stop growing and evolving. Each day, sometimes by the minutes and hours there are lessons learned. if not directly through experience, then indirectly through someone else. The lessons never stop. Limits always change. Growth is continuous and endless.

Footnote: Afterthoughts:
There are always challenges, obstacles, whatever you want to call them.. no relationship is 100% perfect 100% of the time. However, with proper communication and trust, all obstacles will be overcome within time and reason. In service
is just that... in service, doing my best to make sure that my Master, Owner, Dominant...is the priority. He is taken care of. His business and properties are taken care of. When people on the outside world refer to me as the female version of my Master; it is recognized & acknowledged that my job is done well. With that being said, Master is assured that this work in progress is most definitely a positive piece of work. For in His absence, His will be done. Without question, hesitation or malice. In my world, this the definition of service in its truest form.

The collar was accepted. With that collar comes more responsibility, higher expectations, selfishness and self defined needs, wants and desires abandoned.

This collar that was placed around the neck of a slave does not give her privvy to complain, make demands, or whine because she is not given her way or her expectations are not met by the One she calls Master.

Just the opposite. When Master blessed me with His collar, He told me that this does not mean that i can get lazy. Do not take this collar as a symbol that you are not replaceable, He said. Everybody is replaceable, even Myself.

Due to time constraints, W/we have very little time together. Business and work take precedence. There are goals and objectives that must be reached in a timely manner and in order to achieve Master's goals, quality personal time is non existant in todays life. I speak to Him every day, sometimes several times a day regarding business. I see Him for a few moments to exchange supplies and go over inventory. He has not slept in His bed in His apartment since June 5th. Thats a long time for a slave to be absent from her Masters presence.
However, in time, it will all go back to how it was before things got so crazy. Now it is simply my job to take of His things as He wants them taken care of.

With that being said, it makes me shake my head when i hear of Masters talking about their subs/slaves whining and complaining that He does not have time for her/him. Whining, pouting, crying, having tantrums. Acting weak and feeble. Is it that a MASTER chooses to be away from his property for such long periods of time? i dont think so... REAL LIFE takes the front seat. As a slave, a collared slave, an owned slave, is it truly my right to demand His time. Is it my right to insist He ignore His Life responsibilities to pacify my selfish demands of His time?

Yes, i get lonely for His Presence. Yes there are many nights that i miss Him so much i have to cry myself to sleep. However, it is not my right to allow my own insecurities to command Him to stop what he is doing and pay attention to me.

He has set expectations of me. i know those expectations. it is my job to meet those expectations. Without complaint, malice, self pity, or question. He had a reason for placing this collar around my neck and taking full owner ship of me. It is not my place or my duty to question His reasons or His actions. It is my job to accept His decisions and follow through on HIs tasks without hesitation. Upon accepting His collar, i gave up my self to Him. He has been given Total and Complete Power. That is the definition of the Master/slave dynamic. Total Power Exchange.

He has trusted me enough to take me as His, with all due respect, my trust is given to Him. A development of time and challenges. A guided process that has not only taught me to Trust and Respect but through Him i have learned persistence, and strength. Strength is drawn from Him as He feeds those energies so that i may become better, stronger, an enforcer of His Life, His beliefs, His World. An asset, not a liability.
A good decision for Him, not a disappointing mistake that He has to shake His head at.

He has made me an extension of Himself, which is as it should be

It has been quite some time since my journal was last updated.. Kinky Karnival.. that was a couple months ago and the most memorable of all events for me.

There has been this demon of evil anger building in my heart and soul. Feeding on my spirit, taveling thru my veins. Trying to destroy all the good and happiness in my life. It had become uncontrollable. If not stopped, it would ruin all of my life. It was unbearable, yet its wrath uncontrollable.

Kinky Karnival was my salvation. Master Malik was there and His intervention was sought out. i had seem Him give demonstrations on cathartic floggings in the past. This ceremony was not only necessary, it was urgently needed in order to preserve life in its truest form. In speaking to Master Malik of the demon within, i could only tell Him that an exorcism was needed. He agreed. The Power, the ceremony and the combining of spiritual energies was collaborated. The healing was to begin that Saturday night in the dungeon after the dinner.

The ritual begins...stripped naked, her Masters collar removed so that there are no energies holding back the withdrawal of the demon. Hair taken down and let to lay loose on the skin. Positioned No strength drawn from anywhere but my very own heart and soul. It is realized that this is not going to be an easy task, the objective may not be completed in a single session. My instructions.. Go to a safe place in your mind, where it is quiet and peaceful. Do not hold back. Let it out.

The mace is introduced to the back is a rhythmic pulse, it is generating Masters Power since it was a gift from Him.. the trance, the hynosis begins. The energy is strong. Mothers spiritual presence is strong. i recall telling her.. its ok.. i have to do this, He will not hurt me. i can feel her move back but still have the sense that her spirit is protectively watchful. I feel the thud of the floggers.. they are heavy. They are so heavy on impact that it feels as though my back is slamming into my chest. The demon is stirring. i am able to hear Master Malik telling me to let go, do not hold back. The whip cracks. Losing count as to the number of times... losing all awareness.. the demon is fighting.. resisting. Its icy fingers gripping around my heart...strong, resistant, yet weakening ever so slowly. I had told Master Malik that this evil would not surrender easily and so far this was proving so...

i felt it saying No,, No,, No...i heard Master Malik chanting in my entranced state... Yes!! Yes!! Yes!!. i felt the whip on my back, yet i did not feel its sharpness or depth. i was vaguely aware as to what was happening. i felt a strong surge of energy, heard a scream.. then tears flowing. The demon had finally relinquished its possessive hold. It was not gone, it was severly weakened. No longer in overpowering control. The captive inner child sobbed as it took its first breaths of freedom.

Consciousness brought me to the awareness of Master Malik wrapping my back in cling wrap. The whip cut you He was saying. i was oblivious to the physical state of my being.

Master Malik held me close. Feeding the child with the tenderness and security needed to evolve, to grow and regain strength.

When asked how long this event had lasted He told me it was over an hour. the time had been lost. No recollection. The Power of Master Maliks wisdom, spiritual healing and belief of Faith took the evil and demonic tantrums from the soul. the wounds healing.. spiritually, mentally, psychologically, and physically. Reborn.

Master Malik said that His dark side emerging forced Him to stop the cathartic, my only response perhaps my dark side Sir was challenging Yours... we shall discover that on our next meeting to continue with the exorcism Phase...

Its Kinky Karnival time in Wichita.... a fantastic weekend of learning, seeing friends and dungeons... my favorite weekend of the year!!!

He calls. she is to meet Him in 60 minutes at a designated location. When He arrives, she gets out of her car. He tells her "Follow Me." They walk a short distance to a dimly lit area. He gives her instructions on tasks that are to be done the next day. He then turns her away from Him, places His arm around her neck as if to put her in a chokehold. He tells her to stop struggling and lift her hair. She feels the leather around her neck. He cinches it so that it is snug and secure. He talks to her as they walk back to the vehicles side by side...arms locked ... no words need to be spoken about what just occurred. It was to be in His time.

Is It Love??? (When is Love Real??)

This is something that i often wonder many times when i read blogs, journals, posts, etc. How is it love...

He is a stranger passing through this time and space in the Journey of Life.. yet in love, you claim...

Is it possible to love a stranger, someone you may think you know but really dont? How can love be known when there are secrets withheld, His real life is unbeknownst to you...

Is it really love when you dont even know His name?? Or where He comes from?? Where does one draw the line and where does real love come from?

Is it really love? Or is it just a fantasy, a wish, a dream?? Is love wanted and desired so much that the energy felt is simply wishful thinking and not true energy at all??

How does one discern if it is love or simply the thought of being in love that makes one feel like its love??

Will it truly stand the test of time??

Funny how one requests then demands no communication from those she cares not to communicate with or associate with. she blocks them from contacting her so as to avoid harrassment and wasted time with immature nonsense and childish foolhardiness. So.. in recourse they build a new profile and continue to taunt her. Hows that for a total lack of respect???

I prefer to associate with and talk to only those with a mature intelligent mind, those truly into BDSM for its true definition... i am involved in a 24/7 Master/slave relationship. i do not care to or choose to associate with those who do not share my passion and reality of this Life that has shown me the Reality of Living and Loving....

If you are over the age of 12 and still continue to act younger with your immature actions, then your Karma is bust and your destiny will be one of restless and unrealized dreams.

Perhaps the next time you choose to taunt someone, you might consider this: why is it that you are alone and desperate and she is owned, and happy in her journey.

Look over your shoulder Fellas....what goes around comes around. All i have to do is sit back and watch in amusement

So you say that you are a submissive. That you are real in the lifestyle. Through times of conversation, meeting just once and occasional chit chat afterwards.. it is discovered that you are not really what you say are. You have proven time and time again that your ideals are not those of Respect or Honesty. When you are rejected and called out from personal encounters and experience with you....your only recourse is to slander the one who rejects you... calling her a fat bitch, altho you have not seen her in a year. You make yourself feel better by stating that you created false profiles to call out the fakes.. and because you are rejected, you call her a fake... knowing full well that she has been around for many years.. she is respected by those who know her and she is who she says she is...for she has proven herself.. also she notes that fact that she is an owned slave... and her Master has helped her on her journey to also identify with her complete internal being... if experience and a true journey makes one a fake,,, then what is it that makes you real??? I would like to see references please... for i know you have none.

How dare you disrespect an Owner by insulting His property. If that makes you feel superior and a better, more acceptable person, then perhaps you would like to discuss this further with the Owner.

i was brought into this lifestyle seeking to find myself. i was not in it for the game or the kink. i came here to evolve. My journey has been one of challenges, trials, tribulations, heartache and growth.

This Realm is my Reality.

It saddens me to witness and experience the disrespect, the slander and the dishonesty of those who enter without observing the submissiveness regard they claim. They do not Honor. They do not Obey. They do not Respect. They do not Comply.

They simply just piss people off.

When there is a miscommunication, or lack of communication.. bad things happen and good things break down. i dont believe there is ever a time when one person is totally and completely right. There are always those tiny, minute details that are never revealed that lead to the point of destruction and devastation. its like a domino effect.. one block falls and then another and another.. so on and so forth... until there is nothing left standing.

Irrational actions and words spoken escalate the situation to unbearable. Master and slave become a battle within itself and the Union is no longer that of Master and
slave, it has become a battlezone. slaves anger pushes her forward to rebel, which in turn, leads Master to take more measures to control her. yet she refuses and there is no way to stop the insanity.

Master removes His Presence. slave cries as she slowly recollects herself. His scent is no longer on the pillows, she feels the absence. Knowing it was her uncontrollable reactions that led to this. she is terrified of Him releasing her. she will not ask for release, it is not her place to do so.

in retrospect, she knows if she would have just kept her mouth shut, stayed in her seat with her eyes to the floor, none of this would have happened. she is aware that if He does release her and does not ever see her again, she must accept it for that alone is the consequence of her behavior.

If she could turn back the hands of time and do it all over, she would. That is not possible, so now she must pray that He does not release her, gives her some forgiveness, and brings her back under His control.

there are times, when a slave forgets she is a slave and lets her emotions get the best of her. the lesson learned.. it is her responsibility to at all times respect Him no matter what her feelings are. she is to be an image of her Master. Master is self controlled with His anger, she must be also. Especially knowing the end result will not be a good one. Weakness is prevalent when the negative actions control the mind and body. The disrespect shown to her Master by her actions is inappropriate and an unthinkable act as she was so taught.

Does she like the fact that she has been so disrespectful and noncompliant? Not at all..she is humiliated, embarrassed and ashamed of her behavior, and actions.

He is right when He tells her she has become lax in her slave mentality. That very thing has made her weak and feeble. Its now time to regroup and follow the protocols she was taught so long ago.

she sends Him notice a friend has invited her to the club they frequent. she makes him aware that she really doesn't want to go. He tells her to go and He will meet her there later. She gets ready to go with lack of excitement or energy. she chooses a denim skirt, button down blouse and heels. Nails are done, makeup on. He arrives home earlier than planned. He inspects her, tells her she looks good, advises He really likes the shoes. Checks her nails to be sure fingers and toes match. He gives a her a few instructions, she complies stating she doesn't understand why He is doing this. He tells her to leave, join her friends. He will be there later, if He doesnt fall asleep on the sofa. She leaves.

Her friend is more than 30 minutes late getting there. The place is dead due to the football game. The music isn't playing, so no dancers...how boring.

she texts Him, telling Him she wants to come home because she is bored, He tells her "No, stay there and make some fun if its so boring"

she texts Him again a while later. His response, Make some fun.

she goes back and plays some video games with one of the dancers for about an hour. Dancer goes to work, she sits there.

her friend comes up to her and they are chatting, when He walks in. He sits down at the bar nearby. her friend says to her, "Do you know that person" she replies "yes, that's Master." Proper intorductions were made. Friend leaves for a short time.

Friend returns saying "Lets go get in the hot tub" she is trying to make excuses not to go. Master asks her what the problem is, she tells Him it will be a late night thing and she wants to go home. He looks at the friend, stating that she would be more than happy to go. she glares at Him, grabs her bag and leaves hastily with a scowl and a pissed off attitude.

She is finally able to get home at 3 am. She is still angry, boiling mad, but pulled it off well enough that those at the hot tub did not notice. If they did, nothing was said. Anyway, she gets into the house, the TV is on, He is in bed...all comfy under the comforters. she throws her bag on the floor, turns out the lights and TV. she says not a word. she knows it is not good to say anything at this point in time.

she is up and down throughout the night, tossing and turning and thrashing about. When He awakes at 8 am, she gets up, goes to the kitchen, gets some water. she brushes past Him on her way back to the bedroom and says 'i hope You had a helluva good time last night.'

He looks at her and stays so calm, keeping His tone level and asks why she's pissed off. she explain her misry to Him. He knows that her frame of mind will not accept any rational discussion at this time. He gives her some idea that He had her go because she is becoming too reclusive and she needs to reintroduce herself to the world and learn how to be sociable again.

He leaves, and calls her after she sends Him a text. By this time she is thinking more clearly and understands why He had her do what she did ..

So i know my place...

not above or equal to, but beneath Him

and i am right where i belong

The past months have been filled with challenges, growth, tears, more challenges, more growth....the days have passed ever so quickly these last months with all that has Life has determined i needed to prevent stagnation.
In the next few months, an anniversary of sorts will be recognized. There will not be a big deal made of it. It's just a marker for me. One of those "dreams" that was never anticipated, a life changing event. If anyone would have told me 10 years ago that He would own me today, i would have laughed at them and said "yeah right" ... And yet, here W/we are today.
This past year has been challenging, not only for myself, but moreso for Master. He has had to bear witness to so many of my weaknesses and fears. He has had to endure my healing processes after surgeries. He has had to be strong enough to give me the strength i needed so i would not lose sight as to my place and purpose in Life. His encouragement and then direct orders to overcome. His expectations that i do my absolute best. His chastising words when i was substandard. Doesn't matter if its in a simple household task or passing my exam with a decent grade. For the last week, the words study, study, study have been a usual direct order.
At night, before i drift off to sleep, my final thoughts are of Him and how much He is appreciated, loved, and respected by me. Looking at Him before i close my eyes, i am filled with an inner peace that i have never felt before. i am grateful for the Master that Destiny has brought into my life.

Last night i attended the halloween party here. It was a fantastic time, seeing friends that i had not seen in months, some it had been a couple years. Amazing how time flies.

With good food, good conversation, and of course, the dungeon, how could one ask for a better night.

The stockade was used several times. As well as the cross. Sir D put me up on the chair. My arms outstretched should height and strapped horizontally to the upper frame. Straps were secured just under the breasts and just below the ribcage. Then the legs were seperated and thighs and calves were secured.

Blindfold in place, i feel the violet wand. then the sting of a whip across the breasts. More violet wand, the zapper, a whole bunch of something clamping the breasts. Sir D is being careful with me, as we have never played together before.

Oh, i am in heaven. This is not real intense but it makes me moan and quiver. He asks me if i am ready and i tell Him yes. He pulls on something and all the clamps on each breast come off. i can hear the spectators gasp a little.

He takes the blindfold off. i am a little dizzy from vertigo. He gets me unstrapped over to a chair and covered with a blanket.

He says i did very well. He is proud.

i go home tell Master of the events. Master said perhaps my tolerance has not been lowered from the months of poor health. Perhaps it is that He has introduced something new and different in my regimen. So He now has to see about that....

oh, the anticipation.

she cries. she feels broken, unworthy.

her heavy heart is outwardly revealed in venomous anger...spewing sarcastic, bitter comments to the One she serves and whom she cares for so deeply. her tears flow uncontrollably after such outbursts.

He comes to her unexpectedly. she wants to hide, she is ashamed to be seen in such a state of uncontrolled turmoil and weakness.

He tells her to put on her shoes and coat and meet him in the back yard. It is cold, windy and raining.

He corrects her for her sarcasms and tones with Him. Reminds her sternly her place with Him. She lowers her head and her eyes are focused on the ground. He takes her chin and raises her head and instructs her to look at Him. she complies. However, as soon as He releases her chin, her head and eyes immediately revert back to her slave position...lowered and looking at the ground through the uncontrolled tears. He lifts her head again, and again, she lowers it as soon as He releases her chin.

It is raining now, He instructs her to go inside and dry her hair and wipe the water off her leather coat. She follows His instructions.

He comes into the room where she has her head buried in a towel, sobbing uncontrollably. He takes another towel and dries her hair.

she feels so weak, so vulnerable. Humiliated that she cannot control or hide her tears from Him.

she asks for some solitary time so that she can regroup and get her emotional state under control. He asks if what He is witnessing emotions or something else like depression...

she answers slowly and tells Him its emotions. He brings her close to Him. Comforts her with light caresses on her back. her mind is quieted by the music on her mp3 player and His touch. she drifts off for a short time. she finds peace and security.

He is her guardian. He watches over her, keeps her safe, protects her in her most vulnerable moments.

He is a true Master.

The Grooming
He sits on the bed. Pillows propped comfortably behind Him, the laptop on His thighs. He has just showered, His hair hangs to His shoulders, the curls perfect, loose and enjoying the freedom of braided ponytail that confines them most of the time.
his slave takes her place on the bed beside Him. Enjoying the quiet relaxation. The meal has been prepared and enjoyed by Him, the dishes washed up. The quiet of the rainy night descending.

His slave lays beside Him, her eyes closed, as He continues on with what ever He is doing online. He looks at her and asks "Where are the tweezers?"

she responds by telling Him they are on the dresser. He instructs her to hand them to Him, which she does immediately.

He shuts the computer down, and rolls over on His side, reaching for her head. He begins pulling the small facial hairs from her upper lip area. She feels the sting as each is removed. She begs for Him to stop. The constant sting is unbearable.
He stops the mild torture on her lip as she had begged Him to.

He is not done yet.

He says to her, "I have to groom my slave"

He starts the process on the inside of her nostril. she is kicking from the discomfort, her eyes watering. she is not hesitant to say "ouch" as He pulls repeatedly.

He has that smile on His face, that one of sadistic pleasure. He has that twinkle in His eyes that reveals His extreme pleasure in what He is doing.
Yes, He is truly entertained.

While He is pulling the fine little hairs, (those are the ones that really hurt) He explains how One can whip, flog, cane, and torture His property. Yet it is forgotten how these little things can be much more enticing and painful.

He then looks at her, and must have noticed her eyes glazed over. He says to her "you are going into subspace, aren't you?"

she tells Him she thinks so. He pulls some more. Then stops... hands her the tweezers. She knows that this is not the end, there is more to come.

So, she must wait to see what this next night has in store.

I forgot to mention that the fakes and wannabes are the ones who take their profiles off and then either come back later with the same name or a new id.. and claim the name change is so that they can start over and get away from the past...

100% fake wannabe

How do you tell if someone is real or just a player in the romanticized, fantasized, kink which they perceive to be true BDSM desire?

The signs are sometimes not evident to some in the beginnig. However if you have been around in the real world long enough, they become easy to pinpoint...

#1... look at their profiles and journals carefully. Most of what you see there is not original writing but mostly comprised of copy and pasted material or excerpts that someone else wrote.

#2... they are quick to make their personal lives very public in blogs and speak quickly to strangers of their past life. Sexual activities and such are volunteered without asking.

#3... they enter into contracts of consideration and then ask for total ownership for a contractual period of time. Altho admitting during the first contract period, they had doubts, they ask for a renewal. And then think they can just ask for release without consideration of their contract. They have no honor or respect for the promise they had just agreed to.

#4... They always blame someone else for their actions. They never take responsibility upon themselves. It is always someone else's fault.

#5... they are constantly imbalanced. Never happy or satisfied. Have unrealistic expectations and when those are not met, they go whining to others. they are always seeking pity and make themselves the victim

#6...they miscommunicate the actual status of their relationship. They lead others to believe that it is 24/7 when its not; that there is a Union or collar when there is not. They lie and exaggerate.

#7... they claim to be what they are not. With no real life experience, they are opinionated and closed minded. They have not been taught or mentored, yet believe they have what it takes to be REAL.

#8... when called out or challenged, they run away and hide. Always pointing the finger elsewhere for their failure, forgetting that they are also pointing 3 fingers back at themselves.

#9...when backed into a corner, they become defensive. they take the cowardice way out by sending emails. Those emails make little or no sense and contain false accusations. The emails are also difficult to read because they are nothing but runon sentences. There are no breaks, no paragraphs, no proper writing techniques.

#10 comparing #1 and #9, you have to know they are a fake and most likely mentally challenged because expressive technique does not change that drastically.

Be wary my true LifeStyle companions. You never know when one of THOSE is going to stress you out!!!

Kinky Karnival in Wichita, KS this past weekend was fantastic. My hats off to kannd & Sir David for another event that exceeded all expectations. Every year gets bigger and better!!! I look forward to next year's weekend event. I encourage any and all who are able to attend to do so. The hard work and dedication of the Wichita group is obvious. I am proud to be associated with this group. I bow down to you for for your hard work and dedication.

embraced

the thought for the day is a simple yet profound one,...

submission is a state of mind; slavery is a state of being.

so it has been proven in my journey. Many years ago, the world of slavery eluded me or rather, i resisted it... slavery scared me and i was not comfortable with TPE. As my journey has progressed, submission was not satisfying enough for my internal being screamed for a deeper service... slavery became a desire, a deep yearning, a need.

Slavery is not a state of mind, it is a state of being... life as a slave, as owned property, is a journey within itself. For only a true slave knows, understands and respects the true meaning of service. Compliance and obedience being the motivators of pleasure and completeness.

i find it insanely humourous how some want to say they own another, want her with them, and then for some reason, just drop off the face of the earth. Then when they reappear after months of being invisible, she sends a note just saying that she is glad he is alive and hopefully well.., and he deletes it unread... wow such hypocrits there are in this lifestyle...such a lack of credibility. i just wonder, do YOU have a conscience?? or whats the game?

it's hard to believe that it another month has passed by so quickly. So much has been going on this month that the days fly by faster than the hours and the minutes do.

My new year is starting out on a very positive note with a great future ahead.

Recently added training a new sub to my already hectic shedule, and i only hope that the end result is rewarding.

This year looks positive as new doors are opening and new opportunities are coming available. Master and i have O/our plates full, that's for sure.

i have found that my patience does run thin and i am not so much of a nice person anymore with the idiotic emails and one liners as i once was. I am very much into protocols and etiquette and probably piss a few off, but oh well.. i can only say that He does not like it when someone eludes to the fact that they are wanting to jump His claim...this is one grateful girl for having the One she has....

until then, gee... feel free to send me a line to say hi.. sometimes i need the distraction from the tasks ahead.

Here is to wishing A/all a great day.

I am not sure where this will go.. i only know that i had a conversation with a "Dom" last night and the conversation really bothered me.. in fact, i was very upset and angered and so... here comes a long drawn out post..

First of all, for a little history: SP (self proclaimed) entered into my life in 2007. He claimed me as his sub and being the loyal, honorable sub/that i am .. i gave HIM my ALL// he was every part of my life. I will not go into the nitty gritty details, but over the last almost 2 years, the relationship has wained and stagnated. He had all but ceased communication, visits became nonexistant. So, i detached myself. We still speak on occasion, however, conversation is very candid and casual.

Of course, over the holidays, conversation and well wishes were exchanged.. then he told of a situation with a sub he had an encounter with. To be brief:
sub (s) is married to her Dom (Mr). Mr's profession takes him away from home for extended periods of time. SP engages in conversation with s and she invites him to attend an event sponsored by a local lifestyle community. SP in the past has refused absolutely to attend such events with myself, so of course i am surprised to learn he has become a member of this group, which really puts a damper on my life... anyway...

SP tells me that since Mr is gone so much, s needs to be taken care of. So he takes it upon himself to scene (play) with her. He denies any sexual contact at all.. just S/m play. When i asked him why, he simply replied that she needed it. My response to SP was a question, "What right did you have to determine that she needed it especially without consulting with her Dom/husband?" He could only say Dom was never there, she was neglected, she needed it. He further goes on to tell me that now Mr will not talk to him. Mr thinks SP is a threat to the marriage/relationship. i asked SP why he thought this. SP said that Mr knew the power that SP had over s. I am just shaking my head; i cannot believe what i am hearing... SP .. do you not realize that you have treaded on another's property. It is up to Mr to determine what s needs and then give it to her.. Sp states he does not want s, he wants a sub of his own.. advising him he had that once and neglected his responsibility, i again ask :what right do YOU have to use another's property without his permission or knowledge?" For some reason, the conversation ended quickly with SP saying he had another call come in and disconnected the line.

So my question yet today goes unanswered..

oh but there was a call from SP later on .. but that's a totally different story

Seems that many do not read profiles... and mine had become very lengthy... soooo

i have updated my profile and then moved most of the other info to this journal post;

So tired and bored with the games, the dishonesty, the disrespect of those who claim to be true to the lifestyle.
If Y/you are not one of integrity and responsible to the true fundamentals of this lifestyle as it was meant to be, please do not waste my time.

If Y/you are one of the majority who is a fake, wannabe, liar or cheats,and, when confronted, are too coward to admit it, then i wonder why you are here?

naturally submissive meaning that she is not one who needs extended training or instruction. she is more than submissive, yet should not be considered a slave. she is submissive..yet she is intelligent, self sufficient and not needy. she searches for One who is real, stable, responsible, and secure in life. her life is not merely for sexual gratification. it consumes all aspects of her being. this is not a game for her. she has chosen a journey which has taken her down a path less traveled. she is cautious and careful for her submission is a gift that is not merely for the taking. i was owned by One, not sure what the status of that relationship is. she seeks One who has the patience, the time, and the know how to further her progression. she is honest, she does not like games. she does not want to get pushed into a commitment or rushed into something that she is unable to put my whole heart and soul into. she enjoys real people. Quality time and positive energy are essentials for the bonds of friendship to grow. she respects those who truly know how life should be, she will not waste time with those who do not respect the true meaning and significance of the lifestyle...

this one hopes that Y/you and Y/yours have a wonderful and blessed Holiday Season.

my last 6 weeks or so have been very busy. and it looks like my year will end with joy. Altho Angela is returning home to her Master in the next day, i know the love that they both have shared with me by allowing her to stay with me for 2 months to help me... True friends are so giving and they are never unappreciated...

my New Year will begin with many new hopes, dreams and promises being fulfilled. my New Years resolution is to not make a resolution. That way, it will not be broken.

also, there are many plans and positive changes that will be taking place in 2009 that will be allowing me to expereince much joy and happiness. i anticipate the road my journey has taken me down and the new experience on which i am about to embark.

to A/all my friends, i want to say Merry Christmas and Happy New Year.
Be Safe. Be Well. Be Loved and Love in Kind.

subnaturale (aka embraced)

i wondered if the day would ever come that my path would lead to me ONE that could show me truth, sincerity, trust, and honesty. One who would show me that the basic fundamentals of a true M/s relationship truly existed. i wondered, but did not believe until recently. Today, i truly believe that there is ONE who was created to take me, to guide me, to mold me, to teach me, to protect me.. and yes to own me... to HIM i give my every breath, my very being.. my heart and soul. for all of eternity...

Have You ever considered the fact that Respect and Honor are EARNED through One having open and real Communication. Loyatly is EARNED through a Master being responsibile and respecting her as a valuable asset to Him. Obedience comes to her naturally once the foundation is set. Trust takes time and patience, without it, there is nothing. Honesty seems to be a big issue in todays world, which causes many true, devoted and good slaves to be used and then abandoned on a whim.. this one does not understand why A/all cannot be their true selves.. that this life is not a game.. it is a reality for some of us.

a recent reply to an abandoned slave reads as follows:

My Dearest sister

you are a kindred spirit . you are saddened now.. you will survive this, you have survived much worse. Altho now in protective custody by your peers. which they have done out of love for you.. you are surviving and your grief and sadness will soon become less prevalent.

Look at how far you have come... you have handled this situation so much better than you have in the past. you, my sister, have been blessed with an internal pillar of strength. you may not see it, for your disappointments at this time have you externally blinded.

Since i do not know your Master,, all i am able to tell you is that if He is indeed a true Master, true to the foundations and traditions of the lifestyle and the contract He has with you, He will contact you, He will not fail you or abandon you. He knows that you are in turmoil and His love for you will not let you suffer. If there is no communication from Him, then He is not who or what He pretends to be. There are many hypocrosies with online and LDR relationships these days. Do not let the indisgressions of those untrue get the best of you, my dear sister. Do not lose faith or belief, for when you are truly ready, Fate and Destiny will enlighten you as to your real purpose.

with love and strength

i send you internal peace today

dreamchaser

please visit me at http://dsforum.ning.com conversations pertaining to lifestyle events, traditions and choices for those serious about the journey and the path they have chosen.

SUBABUSER Male Dominant, 32	Subslt12 Female Submissive, 43, Anderson, South Carolina	subn661 Female Submissive, 23, bakersfield, California	sub4son Male Submissive, 57, Los Angeles, California
sublady2003 Female Submissive, 47, Jeffersonville, Indiana	submissivlady Female Switch, 52, Monmouth County, New Jersey	submssin Transgender Submissive, 49	subTXm Male Submissive, 55, Duncanville, Texas
subgirl Female Submissive, 21, modesto, California	sub2serve Male Submissive, 41	SubSasssy Female Submissive, 38, st louis, Missouri	subside Male Submissive, 46, melbourne

subnaturale

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