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Male Submissive, 48, Sacramento, California
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Male Submissive, 48, staten island, New York
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Male Submissive, 47, Queens, New York
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About submale4u1964
I am now being controlled. That is, my orgasms are being controlled. If you do not know about this and would like to learn more, just ask. Because of this I am harder and hornier than ever. Since I believe in Female superiority, I am a gentleman to all women, and offer my services to you.
I am a service sub. I can do the manly tasks like yard work and house repairs. I can also do common tasks of cooking, laundry and housekeeping. I am available for your amusement. I will be your humble servant. I will submit to your whims and aspirations. I am willing to answer to your beck and call. I will serve you as you and your friends if so desired. I am good at massages. I am available for no strings house and yard work. I am also a talented photographer, if you need new pics. I believe that your pleasure is all that is important.
However, my orgasms now belong to my madam. She enjoys seeing me hard and squirming. She thinks that the more teasing, the more I must endure, the more I need to suffer, the better sub I will become.
I love to camp, kayak, hike, basically I love nature. I love to be part of it. I love to be nude outdoors.
I am a divorced Dad. I have kids, I am back in college, and I do work a full time job, plus I need to please madam, so my time can be very limited. I will give you what I can, but you need to be understanding of my position. This being said, I can't have marks where the kids, or boss will notice. So no I can not wear a collar in public when I am not with you, and no I am not getting a tattoo for you. My job takes me all over Northern Ohio, Western Pa, and Western Ny.
As everyone seems to mention on here; if you are not local don't bother. I have no ability to serve you in California, or Japan. I am not interested in online domination, or financial domination.
Be safe and have fun.
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Driving up to buffalo today turning around and driving right back to cleveland |
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I am headed to Kent today. Ugh. Driving in the rain all day. Rain rain go away. |
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The laundry is done. The house is clean-ish. The yard work is done. The garage has been cleaned. Now what? I guess the basement. |
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Yea! School's out for Summer! I'm back in Lakewood full time. |
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Text to talk really sucks at times |
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What's the difference between men and batteries?
Batteries have a positive side! |
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Q: If mothers have Mother's Day and fathers have Father's Day, what do single guys have?
A: Palm Sunday! |
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Tomorrow it is okay to take home a blonde. It's Swedish Day. |
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If you think you have Bird Flu, you should seek some tweetment.
If you think you have the Swine Flu, you should get some oinkment. |
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Q: why does nasa hire peroxide blondes?
A: they're doing research on black holes. |
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What is the difference between a woman a pool table?
On the pool table, you put the balls in the hole and the stick stays out. |
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I am back after 4 weeks working in Western New York. I am back to being local for awhile again. Yeah! |
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I'll be back Monday the 12th thru the 14th. Anyone wanna meet up? Have dinner, go for a walk, anything? |
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I will be in Buffalo Monday the 28th, anyone want to go out for Dinner? Or would you like for me to come over and cook for you? |
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At first they said pigs would fly before Obama would become President.
Now all they talk about is Swine Flew. |
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He said...She said
He said... I don't know why you wear a bra; you've got nothing to
put in it.
She said...You wear briefs, don't you?
She said...What do you mean by coming home half drunk?
He said... It's not my fault...I ran out of money.
He said ... Since I first laid eyes on you, I've wanted to make
love to you in the worst way.
She said...Well, you succeeded.
He said... 'Two inches more, and I would be king'
She said...'Two inches less, and you'd be queen
On wall in ladies room: "My husband follows me everywhere."
Written just below it: "I do not."
He said... "Shall we try a different position tonight?"
She said..."That's a good idea.... you stand by the ironing board
while I sit on the sofa and fart. "
Priest... 'I don't think you will ever find another man like your
late husband.'
She said...'Who's gonna look?'
He said ... What have you been doing with all the grocery money I
gave you?
She said...Turn sideways and look in the mirror.
He said ... Let's go out and have some fun tonight.
She said...Okay, but if you get home before I do, leave the
hallway light on.
He said ... Why don't you tell me when you have an orgasm?
She said...I would, but you're never there. |
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Why are men like diapers?
They are always on my ass and full of shit - thank goodness they're disposable! |
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A mother and her young son were flying Southwest Airlines
> >> from Kansas City
> >> to Chicago. The little boy (who had been looking out the
> >> window turned to
> >> his mother and asked, 'If big dogs have baby dogs and
> >> big cats have baby
> >> cats, why don't big planes have baby planes?' The
> >> mother (who couldn't think
> >> of an answer) told her son to ask the flight attendant.
> >> So the boy went down the aisle and asked the flight
> >> attendant, 'If big dogs
> >> have baby dogs and big cats have baby cats, why don't
> >> big planes have baby
> >> planes?'
> >> The busy flight attendant smiled and said, 'Did your
> >> mother tell you to ask
> >> me?'
> >> The boy said, 'Yes, she did.'
> >> 'Well, then, you go and tell your mother that there are
> >> no baby planes
> >> because
> Southwest always pulls out on time. Have your
> >> mother explain that to
> >> you. |
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A woman gives birth to a baby and afterward the doctor comes into the room and says, "I have something to tell you about your child..."
The woman slowly sits up with a worried look on her face and says, "What's wrong with it?"
The doctor says, "There's nothing really wrong with it, it's just a little different! It's a hermaphrodite."
The woman looks confused. "A hermaphrodite, what's that?"
The doctor replies, "It has both features of a male and a female."
The woman looks relieved. "What? You mean it has a penis AND a brain?" |
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Q. Why was Frosty smiling?
A. He saw the snowblower coming. |
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A husband, proving to his wife that women talk more than men, showed her a study which indicated that men use (on the average) only 15,000 words a day, whereas women use 30,000 words a day.
She thought about this for a while and then told her husband that women use twice as many words as men because they have to repeat everything they say.
Looking stunned, he said, "What?" |
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Two young lovers go up to the mountains for a romantic winter vacation. When they get there the guy goes out to chop some wood. When he gets back, he says,?'Honey, my hands are freezing!? She says, ?Well put them between my thighs and that will warm them up.?
After lunch he goes back out to chop some more wood and comes back and says again, ?Man! My hands are really freezing!? She says again, ?Well. put them between my thighs and warm them up again.? He does, and again that warms him up.
After dinner, he goes out one more time to chop wood to get them through the night. When he returns to the cabin, he states once again, ?Honey, my hands are really, really freezing.? She looks at him and says, ?For crying out loud, don't your ears ever get cold?? |
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"We in Holland cannot figure out why you are even
bothering to hold an election in the US .
> On one side, you have a bitch who is a lawyer,
married to a lawyer, running against a lawyer who is
married to a bitch who is a lawyer.
> On the other side, you have a war hero married to a
good looking woman with big tits who owns a beer
distributorship.
> Is there a really contest here?" |
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What do you call a turtle with an erection?
A slow poke! |
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Q: Why don't women have men's brains?
A: They don't have a penis to put them in! |
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Three ladies all have separate boyfriends named Leroy.
One evening, while sharing a few drinks at the bar,
one of the
ladies suggests, "Let's name our Leroys after a soda
pop, because
I'm tired of getting my Leroy mixed up with your
Leroy, and her
Leroy mixed up with your Leroy."
The other two ladies agree.
The first lady speaks out, "Okay then, I'm gonna name
my Leroy 7-
Up because he has 7 inches and it's always up!"
The three ladies hoot and holler, and slap each other
high fives.
Then, the second lady says, "I'm gonna name my Leroy
Mountain Dew
because he can mount and do me any day of the week."
Again, the three ladies hoot and holler, and slap each
other more
high fives.
The third lady then says, "You know, those two Leroys
were good,
but I'm gonna name my Leroy, Jack Daniels."
The other two ladies shout in unison, "Jack Daniels?
That's not a
soda pop... that's a hard liquor!"
The third lady bursts out, "That's my Leroy!"
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Q: Why did God create women?
A: Because God took one look at men and said "I know I can do better than this." |
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A boy was playing with himself in the bathtub when his father walked in and said, ?Son, if you don't stop doing that, you'll go blind.? The boy said, ?Dad, I'm over here.? |
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What do you call five lesbians in a closet?
A licker cabinet |
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I am happily serving Miss Dee. I will continue to post jokes and I am here to be a friend, but at this time I am removing myself from the potential submissives pool. |
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Why did God invent a man first?
She wanted to start with something simple. |
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A blonde woman strode angrily into the large store and slapped a package on the counter, and loudly expressed her dissatisfaction.
The clerk asked, "What's the problem? Wouldn't your cat eat them?"
The woman's eyes got very large, and she whispered, "Do you mean to tell me that 'Pussy Treats' are meant for cats?" |
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How many flies does it take to screw in a lightbulb?
Two, but I don't know how they got in there. |
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Three guys are in a doctor's office. One is a drunk, another's a smoker and the third's a gay guy. The doctor tells each of them that, if they induldge in their bad habit one more time, they will die.
Outside they pass a bar. The drunk says, ?I don't care if I die, I need a drink.? The drunk goes into the bar takes a drink and, sure enough, he drops dead.
Meanwhile the smoker and the gay guy are walking along. Then the smoker spots a lit cigarette on the sidewalk. The gay guy looks over and says, ?If you bend down to pick that up, we're both dead.? |
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Confucious say: "Baseball wrong, man with four balls cannot walk." |
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Why do the smurfs luagh when they frolic through the forest?
Because the grass tickles thier balls! |
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Q: If mothers have Mother's Day and fathers have Father's Day, what do single guys have?
A: Palm Sunday! |
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One day Mom was cleaning Junior's room and in the closet she found a bondage S&M magazine.
This was highly upsetting for her. She hid the magazine until his Father got home and showed it to him.
He looked at it and handed it back to her with out a word. So she asked him, "What should we do about this?"
Dad looked at her and said, "Well I don't think you should spank him." |
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One day, there's a man and his wife driving along a road. Suddenly out of nowhere, a freak cyclone sweeps through, overturning the car and ripping off both the man and woman's clothes. The Cyclone passes as quickly as it came, and the man finds himself trapped underneath the overturned car. He shouts at his wife to get help, who responds by telling him that she is wearing no clothes. "Put my shoes over your crotch!" he shouts "and go and get me help". She obliges, putting his shoes over her crotch, and flags down the next passing car. The driver gets out. "Help, help, it's my husband!" shouts the woman, to which the driver says, "Well if he's that far up, he's got no bloody chance!" |
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Q. Why did Frosty the Snowman pull down his pants?
A. He heard the snowblower coming! |
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Why does Santa have huge balls?
Because he only comes once a year! |
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Three men were walking down a street and found a bottle laying on the side of the road. They picked it up and a genie popped out. The genie said, "You will each get one wish."
The first man wished he was 20 times smarter. The genie made him 20 times smarter. The second man wished he was 30 times smarter. The genie made him 30 times smarter. The last man wished he was 60 times smarter.
The genie turned him into a woman. |
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Why are men so smart during sex?
Cause they're plugged into a genius! |
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Whats the thinnest book in the world?
"What Men Know About Women." |
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The husband had just finished reading a new book entitled "You Can Be
the Man of Your House". He stormed into the kitchen and walked directly
up to his wife.
Pointing a finger in her face, He said sternly, "From now on, you need to know that I am the man of this house and my word is law! You will prepare me a gourmet meal tonight, and when I'm finished eating my meal, you will serve me a scrumptious dessert. After dinner you are going to go upstairs with me, and we will have the kind of sex that I want. After that, you are going to draw me my bath so I can relax. You will wash my back and towel me dry and bring me my robe. Then you will massage my feet and hands. Then after that's done, guess who's going to dress me and comb my hair?"
His wife replied, "The fuckin' funeral director would be my guess." |
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What does a peroxide blonde and a 747 have
in common?
They both have a black box |
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Q: What's the difference between men and batteries?
A: Batteries have a positive side. |
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There was a perfect man and a perfect woman. They met each other at a perfect party. They dated for two perfect years. They had the perfect wedding and the perfect honeymoon. They had two perfect children.
One day the perfect man and the perfect woman were driving in there perfect car, they saw Santa Claus at the side of the road, being the perfect people they were they picked him up, because they didn't want to make their perfect children (who were at home with their perfect babysitter) mad because it was close to Chritmas.
Well as the perfect man and the perfect woman were driving with Santa Claus, somehow they got into an accident. Two people died and 1 lived.
Who died and who lived?
The perfect woman because the perfect man and Santa Claus aren't real. |
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1. WHY DO MEN BECOME SMARTER DURING SEX?
Because they are plugged into a genius
2. WHY DON'T WOMEN BLINK DURING SEX?
They don't have enough time
3. WHY DOES IT TAKE 1 MILLION SPERM TO FERTILIZE ONE
EGG?
They don't stop to ask directions
4. WHY DO MEN SNORE WHEN THEY LIE ON THEIR BACKS?
Because their balls fall over their butt-hole and they
vapor lock
You're laughing, aren't you?!?!
5. WHY WERE MEN GIVEN LARGER BRAINS THAN DOGS?
So they won't hump women's legs at cocktail parties
6. WHY DID GOD MAKE MEN BEFORE WOMEN?
You need a rough draft before you make a final copy
7. HOW MANY MEN DOES IT TAKE TO PUT A TOILET SEAT
DOWN?
Don't know.....it never happened
C'mon guys, we laugh at your blonde jokes!
And my personal favorite:
8. WHY DID GOD PUT MEN ON EARTH?
Because a vibrator can't mow the lawn
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Eve's chat with God
Lord, I have a problem."
"What's the problem, Eve?"
"I know that you created me and provided this
beautiful garden and all of
these wonderful animals, as well as that hilarious
comedic snake, but I'm
just
not completely happy."
"And why is that, Eve?"
"Lord, I am lonely and I'm sick to death of apples."
"Well, Eve, in that case, I have a solution. I
shall create a man for you."
"Man? What is that, Lord?"
"A flawed creature with many bad traits. He'll lie,
cheat and be vain. All
in all, he'll give you a bad time. But he'll be
bigger, faster and will
like to hunt and kill things. I'll create him in
such a way that he will
satisfy your physical needs. He will be witless and
will revel in childish
things
like fighting and kicking a ball about. He won't be
as smart as you, so he
will also need your advice to think properly."
"Sounds great," says Eve, with ironically raised
eyebrows, "but what's the
catch, Lord?"
"Well, you can have him on one condition."
"And what's that, Lord?"
"As I said, he'll be proud, arrogant and self
admiring, so you'll have to
let
him believe that I made him first and it will have
to be our little secret
... you know, woman to woman."
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How does Aunt Jemima turn on the Pilsbury Doughboy?
She squeezes his doughnuts! |
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Q: What can a bird do that a man can't?
A: Whistle through his pecker. |
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I am amazed that I have yet to be taken up on my offer of no strings house cleaning, or yard work. I am available, no strings attached, just tell me where and when you want me to be there. |
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Why does a man have a hole in the end of his penis?
To get oxygen to his brain!
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Why don't witches have babies?
Because their husbands have Hollow Weenies. |
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Male Dominant, 32
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Female Submissive, 43, Anderson, South Carolina
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Female Submissive, 23, bakersfield, California
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Female Switch, 52, Monmouth County, New Jersey
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Transgender Submissive, 49
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Male Submissive, 55, Duncanville, Texas
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Female Submissive, 21, modesto, California
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Male Submissive, 41
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Female Submissive, 38, st louis, Missouri
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Male Submissive, 46, melbourne
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Male Submissive, 40, portland, Oregon
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Switch Couple, 43, tampa, Florida
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