sublavenderrose

Again, something from my former Master. No reproduction allowed anywhere - but feel free to use what works for Y/you.

Seven Pleasing Characteristics of an Owned Person

The following is My list of the seven characteristics of an owned person that I find pleasing and desireable. This list should give you, the prospective submissive or slave, a little idea about Me and how your job will be made easier and more fulfilling. For the prospective new Dominant, this may give You an idea for how to set Your own criteria for Your owned.

1. Honesty.
This is very important to me. Without honesty, there can be no trust. Without trust D/s is nothing. On a safety note, be truthful in your desires, experience, fears and limits. I have seen many submissives tell "little" lies thinking it will make them more desirable. It usually ends up getting them hurt. If you have questions about what your Dom/me desires or expects, be honest and speak up. There is nothing wrong with asking questions respectfully, and is much preferable to looking ignorant. Remember, all Dom/mes are different. Don't assume because one wants you to wear stockings that another will enjoy them. Ask what he expects you to wear, how he expects you to act, what he prefers to be called, etc.

2. Submissiveness.
While I enjoy the occasional SAM, I prefer my subs to submit. I want them to surrender their will to me. I like them to be polite, compliant, and to show me the respect I have earned. There is nothing that turns me off faster than a submissive trying to top from the bottom, or manipulate the scene. A polite, respectful "Sir, if it pleases you, I would enjoy being spanked." is going to make that happen much sooner than intentional misbehavior.

3. Intelligence.
Make intelligent choices about who you submit to, and how deep your submission goes. If it is a relationship situation, get to know the person as a friend before you consider submitting. If it is scene-play, get references and follow safety rules, watch them Top others, or play in the presence of people who can watch out for you. Out of role, intelligence goes a long way. Think, and share those thoughts with your Dom/me. Take time to find out what They are interested in, and get to know more on the subject. Keep up on current events and trends and be able to discuss them. Perhaps take up some of the same hobbies as your Dom/me. In reality, these are just plain good relationship skills...be it vanilla or D/s.

4. Service.
Find out what makes your Dom/me happy, and do your best to provide. It is your job to make your Dominant happy. If you will be serving Them food, find out what They like to eat, and how They like it served. Find out what Their turn-on and turn-offs are. If it is your responsibility to set things up for the scene, find out what They require, and have everything handy. Don't be sloppy in your service, and don't make your Top have to tell you a preference more than once. If I have to tell a sub more than two times that I like my coffee with cream and sugar, it gives me the impression that they are not thinking, or just do not care. This is not at all pleasing. Put some thought and creativity into your service. Listen when They tell you Their fantasies and dreams, and try to fulfill Their desires. Be observant. If you have the chance, study Their surroundings for clues on the type of things They enjoy. Do They have candles sitting out? Make sure you have some at your place, too. What kind of toiletries do They use? Buy them and have them ready for Them when They visit. What do They like to drink? Make sure you keep it on hand.

5. Communication.
Contrary to what some believe, Dominants are not psychics. It is frustrating for Us Dominants to have to try and figure out everything that pushes your buttons. I would much rather have My sub SHARE WITH ME, their fantasies so I can store the info to use when I choose, than have to guess. I don't like to play with subs that constantly say "Whatever pleases you". If They are not enjoying it, chances are I won't be enjoying it, either. Admittedly, I am occasionally selfish, and enjoy only what I want, but not 100% of the time.

6. Self Respect.
Value yourself. There is no thrill in dominating a doormat, or someone/someTHING that thinks so little of itself they/it will submit to anyone at anytime… essentially cheapening the whole gift of submission by giving it away.

7. Patience.
I have often been told that patience is the mark of a good submissive and happen to agree with this idea completely.

This information was created by my former Master, Lord Highlander as a tool for understanding. Y/you should feel free to use what works for Y/you, but Y/you do NOT have permission to reproduce this information ANYWHERE.  I place this here with His permission.  Thank You, Sir.

Owned Person’s Bill of Rights

The following is My list of basic rights that all owned persons whether submissive or slave are entitled to by virtue of their VOLUNTARY service. This list should give you, the prospective submissive or slave, a little idea about what you can expect out of your service. It should further be viewed as an amendment and enhancement of the DOL rather than a negating or correcting of items mistakenly left out. For the prospective new Dominant, this may give You an idea for how to set Your own criteria for Your owned.

Article I

You have the right to be treated with respect. Not only do you have this right, you have the right to demand it. Being submissive does not make you a doormat or less of a person than anyone else. The word "submissive" describes your nature and in no way diminishes you as a human being. You have the right to respect yourself as well.

Article II
You have the right to be proud of what you are. Being a submissive is nothing that should ever bring you shame or feelings of reproach. Your submissive nature is a gift and should always be a source of pride and happiness.

Article III
You have the right to feel safe. Being a submissive should not make you feel afraid, insecure or threatened. Submission is not (necessarily) about living on the edge or flirting with fear. In any situation you should feel safe or there can never be true surrender.

Article IV
You have the right to your emotions and feelings. Your emotions and feelings come from you and they are just as valid as anyone else's. You have a right to them. Those feelings, whether positive or negative, make you who you are and suppressing them will only bring unhappiness later.

Article V
You have the right to express your negative feelings. Being submissive does not make you an object that no longer has negative thoughts or concerns. Your concerns are real and you have every right to express them. If something doesn't feel right, bothers you, makes you feel bad or you just plain don't like something, say so. Failing to express your negative feelings could give the mistaken impression that you are pleased or satisfied with something that is not pleasurable or agreeable.

Article VI
You have the right to say NO. Being submissive does not take away your right to have dislikes or negative feelings about things. If something is happening or about to happen that you feel strongly opposed to, it's your duty to speak up. Remember, failing to communicate the word NO is the same as saying YES.

Article VII
You have the right to expect happiness in life. Being submissive is not tantamount to being miserable, suffering or a life of despair. Your submission should bring you joy, peace and fulfillment. If it doesn't, then something is wrong.

Article VIII
You have the right to have input in a relationship. You are an active partner in any relationship you enter and have every right to contribute to it. You are submissive, not passive. A relationship that doesn't include your needs, thoughts, hopes and desires is not one you should be in to begin with. This applies to friendships, partnerships and D/s relationships.

Article IX
You have the right to belong. Being submissive greatly involves the feeling of belonging. Many submissives have expressed that it was in discovering their submissive nature that they felt as through they "belonged" for the first time in their lives. You belong to the lifestyle and will eventually belong to the One. It's in that relationship you should find the final fulfillment of "belonging" at last.

Article X
You have the right to be loved and to love. Anyone who tells you that love doesn't fit into a D/s relationship has never experienced the fulfillment of all it truly can be. Submissives are by nature loving and needing of love and have every right to expect this to be a part of their lives. It takes love to bring your submission into full bloom, so don't settle for less.

Article XI
You have the right to be healthy. Health involves your physical, mental and emotional well-being. Any relationship, D/s or otherwise, that causes you to suffer physically, mentally or emotionally, beyond your limits, is abuse. There is no place for abusive behavior in a D/s relationship and it's up to you to make sure those lines are not crossed. Being a submissive does not give anyone the right to harm or injure you in any way. The D/s community will stand behind you if you should encounter such a situation but you are the one who has to make them aware before they can help.

Article XII
You have the right to practice safe sex. Not only is this a right, it's a duty to yourself and others you may come into contact with at a later date. Sexually transmitted diseases have reached epidemic proportions and must be a concern to any sexually active person. Safe Sex is something you have the right to insist upon and protecting yourself should never be discouraged by anyone who really has your best interests at heart.

I ran across this somewhere years ago. I find it very apt. This is pretty much how I run when in submissive "mode" I apologize if this is yours - I did not find an author's name along with it, or it would be included, and all credit due given.

The Submissive's Creed

I will not try to manipulate my Dominant.
I will not push. I realise that my actions and behaviour reflects upon His skills as a Teacher and a Dominant.
I will not intentionally embarrass my Dominant.
I wear the honour of being His submissive
I take pride in who and what I am and will never portray myself In a negative way.

I will keep an open mind and try new things In an attempt to expand my Limits.
I will continue to grow as a submissive and as a human being.
I will not allow myself to be harmed or abused.
By giving my "gift of submission" only to those that can responsibly accept It.
I know that submissive does not equal "Doormat".

I will continue to educate myself, because a submissives safety is always a concern.
I will be respectful to my fellow submissives.
I will help those new to the lifestyle to start out on the correct path.
I will be responsive to my Dominant.
I will communicate with complete honesty my needs, desires, limits, and experience.
"I will not hide what my mind and body are feeling"
I will not expect my Dominant to know my thoughts or the feelings which i do not share.

I will gracefully accept in the responsibility of a scene or relationship gone bad.
I will not place blame on my Dominant if it is not warranted. Nor will i disrespect His Character in front of others, just because i am angry or jealous.
I realize that circumstances may not work out as planned, and shall strive to put it behind me and gracefully move on.
I will be respectful to my Dominant even in disagreements.
I realise my Dominant has my best interests at heart, and shall guide me with the best of His knowledge.