StayStill

Female Dominant, 33, Brooklyn, New York

Male Submissive, 24, Mumbai

Female Switch, 21, queensland

I just caught my sub cheating with his chastity device.? I really don't find it cute or part of the game.? I'm so angry, but I'm going to take my time figuring out what to do to him. Believe me, he's NOT going to like it.

I'm so busy, nowadays, that I can't find a lot of time for my obsession. As I said, rather vaguely, I'll admit, I'm not really looking for play pals, but when someone special comes along, who really wants what it is that I like to dish out, then it's hard to resist. I am an evil girl, and I do like to hear from minds that compliment mine, so feel free to drop me a line. However, pathetic three-line "dominate me now!" contacts are a waste of everyone's time. Please, just don't. You fellas wouldn't believe how many dozens of those we get in a day. For the rest of you, put your balls on the shiny platter and feel free to offer them up to me. Imaginative emails are much appreciated. Cheers, Alex

A musing about tease milking: is it better to let him come, should he never orgasm, or should it be a game of chance, where he never knows how it's going to end out? I've always used the latter strategy. Depending on whether I want to punish, encourage, mind-fuck or if I'm just in an evil mood. I like long, long, long periods of teasing, especially after a week-plus of enforced celibacy. Slow motion teasing. You can actually make a man bargain, plead and cry after a while of keeping him just below release. But I'm just not sure what's the bigger impact for him? Is it to tease him then finally give him a huge release? Is it to have him know that he's not going to be released, no matter how he begs? Or is it to keep him guessing. Maybe, just when he's finally about to come, you stop all stimulation and let him stew in his bondage, wishing he could just get a pinky onto the head of his own cock. But of course, he can't. Wait until he's soft again, then lock it back up until next week, if you can find the time to play with him again... Maybe, you put him on a milking machine and his first come in a week becomes the first of several as you let the mechanicals force his flaccid cock to come over and over again. It's fun the first and second times, but they don't seem to like it much after that. When I do let them come, because I feel like I'm giving so much up by allowing it, I have a couple of strategies that take the sting out of it for me. One is a firm rule: you splurge, you dine. He's going to lick-up every drop he spills. Other than that, I also don't believe he should be allowed pleasure without a cost. Whether it's a task he has to do beforehand, a penalty afterwards or the endless milking I mentioned before, he pays. In particular, I like stimulating the corona and the never just under the corona after he's come. I know it's cruel, but I love the panic in the eyes. One thing I hate, is a man who comes without permission. "Not, okay now you're going to get a spanking" hate, but a lot worse. I might even end the session for that offense. Try a big, soft makeup brush as the stimulator It'll drive him nuts and it's impossible to come from the sensation. Anyone have any punish-the-orgasm tricks for me?

Got another thrifty tip. I found a product called Garage Grids, Gridwall or Wall Grids. These coated metal pieces are sold for neo-industrial shelving and retail display. 48" x 66" is a common size. They come in black and chrome, usually -- two of our favorite flavors. I found a nice piece at a store fixture reseller. Hook one of these puppies down with a taunt set of bungie cords under the mattress and you'll have a secure metal grid to tie something down. And it's so versatile! You'll probably want to check it out in person, to make sure it's strong enough for your needs, as there are a variety of manufacturers out there. Also note, that your sub will come up with a cute checkered pattern on his back or tummy, when you're done with him -- I consider that a plus! Only bad thing is that you won't want to kneel anywhere on this piece, because it'll hurt the knees. I just throw a pillow down, for when I'm needing to be in this position and it works great. also, it's fairly large to store. You could just put it in between the mattress and the box-spring for extra support...

Gas is expensive, but I'm still kinky, so I thought I'd do a thrifty dungeon post today. One of my favorite toys that I've built has been my set of spreader bars. I know, everyone has a recipe for spreader bars with dowels and screws, but I make mine a different way and they work BETTER than store bought ones do. (Not that you shouldn't checkout the cool stainless steel and dungeon-black ones offered by the fine sponsors of collarme.com!) What you need: go to Homo Depot or Lowes and ask for "Shelftrack" -- that's the long metal rods with regular rectangular grooves cut in, that you use to hang the brackets on cheap wall shelves. I've found the 3-foot pieces for around $3-$4. Just our luck, the screw holes just happen to be well located for putting in hooks, panic snaps, chain-connectors, etc. They come in a variety of lengths and most stores will cut them to size for you -- although you'll need to file the ends, if you have them cut. These babies are big-boy tested. No matter how hard he wants to close those knees together, he's not going to be able to! Now, here's the even more fun part... Layout a spreader on the top for arms and another at the bottom for the legs. Now, connect them on the sides with another spreader on each side. For variety of attachment, try running one up the middle. There are some very interesting things you can do with the middle piece, believe me. I like to attach thighs and knees to the sides and the collar to the middle and top. In my experience, when the spread-eagle pattern is used, that is, when the slave is laid out flat, this device is inescapable and very stable -- no fears of him falling off the bed or bench. If you use shorter sides, then the center of gravity is obviously different, and you may want to secure the unit to whatever base you're using or just put him on the cement floor (where he belongs, actually). The small square version is really good for putting them on their knees for a good long while and for butt-up-in-the-air ties. I wanted to use this in a shower, so I got some of that rubber handle dip, that you can use to make tools less slippery. I had my slave coat the entire piece (with the attaching hardware on it, so the holes wouldn't close up). That way, it's fairly rust proof and won't scratch the shower tiles. At least it didn't mine. Probably good for other wet scenes, as well. While you're at Homo Depot, don't forget to get them to cut you some short lengths of metal and plastic chain. I love how they look at you when you've got a shopping cart full of clamps, then you want a dozen four-foot chain pieces... Anyway, try this thing. It's a lot of fun for around $10-$20.

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