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Male Submissive, 55, binghamton, New York
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Male Submissive, 47, Allentown, Pennsylvania
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About GaryAdams
UPDATE: Over three years of servitude logged to Mistress Alex: many tears, welts, bruises, hours of begging, and untold days of chastity control later... and I still serve. So many limits pushed... I am the luckiest man alive.
Pain pig into bondage, sensory deprivation, gags, hoods, and torment.
I'm currently serving a very cruel woman, Mistress Alex, who is StayStill on this site. She would allow me to serve others, but I choose not to. I don't have the energy for anyone else right now, but I wanted to connect with some of my cyber friends on CM.
I'm in-shape, sincere and long-suffering. CBT and ball busting are my favorite things to suffer. I don't switch, and I've never been with a man.
The higher the I.Q. the more fun we'll both have.
Limits were meant to be tested! |
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I have something to celebrate.
3 1/2 years ago, I began a journey of servitude and exploration with Mistress Alex.
I thought my fantasies were so far out, that I could never experience all of them. Little did I know, that my fantasies were so much smaller than what I would experience.
I am thankful for her guidance, her creativity, her severity, her persistence, and the fact that she allowed me into her life.
Although she will not take one like me as a lover, I feel I have come closer than a lover, as I have been at her feet.
Thank you, Mistress Alex. I want the entire world to know how much you mean to me. |
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I wanted to write about my first experience with Mistress Alex (StayStill). I think this tells a lot about me, as well as her:
I had one desire, it was the same fantasy that I'd rehearsed over and over again in my head since I was 12-years-old, to be tied, so that I could not move and to have a cruel woman punishing me, while I could not get fight back at all.? Mistress Alex finally fulfilled my fantasy in a way no one else ever has.?
I've had other girls tie me up before, but it always felt like it was for me and not for them.? I needed this to be her desire, because I needed to fill that the moment I gave up the control, it was her passion that would decide what was to happen.? Mistress Alex met and exceeded what I had imagined.?
She picked out a mask for me and a gag.? I wasn't really sure that I would be comfortable with the gag under the mask, but she gave me a clear signal, that I could use to use my safety word.? What I didn't expect was just how immobile she could make me.? I provided a massage table and she had me lay on it nude.? She put the helmet and gag on me and kept checking the airway to make sure I could breathe.? Then, she connected my arms to a bar she ran under the table and the collar, that was built into the helmet, was somehow connected under the table as well.? I couldn't tell how.?
Likewise, she spread my thighs apart and connected them under the table but with my knees bent and pulled down.? Once she had done this, I could feel how my package was sticking up in the air and was suddenly became aware at just what I'd asked for.? I'd sent email after email about how I fantasized about CBT.? She told me she was a sadist, but then I allowed her to put me in this position.? How stupid a male am I??
I asked for the experience to be a long one, and I'll be honest, I did lose track of time.? She kept bringing me back and forth between that point right before you lose control and cum and letting me hang there and the point where I wanted to scream out my safeword because of the torment.? I felt totally swallowed up and lost in her world.?
Since this night, I can't quit thinking about what it felt like to be in her hands.? To actually experience the things I'd dreamed about.? I want more and more of her and I want to give her more and more of myself.
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