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HypnoticTeacher
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singleinnc
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ladydraco2012
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Ibindgagyou
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Starting over is going to be easier than I thought it was. I will not however be using this profile. Letting go, burning the bridges in which I crossed and vowed to never cross back again. I have learned a lot in two months and I thank Him for that. I have a new profile and only one of my very dear friends know what it is. My secrets are sealed with a kiss and compassionate love between he and I. I no longer have my yahoo email.
Sex magick I was accused of, was true love and you let others ruin our true magic. You lost control and you lost me. One day you will learn who (besides your family and children) who TRULY loved you unconditionally.
PS Nico thank you for reminding me of how beautiful I am and that I am natural in this lifestyle. I very much so needed the confidence booster. And again reminding me how sneaky subs can be to corrupt other relationships to which they are jealous of. Again thank you for your texts and my confidence booster. No more tears! |
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Good company, good friends and good advice never did anyone wrong!
Good night crazy world! |
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I will be deleting my profile/account.
If anyone would like to talk to me please contact me on yahoo
Alluriastarling
*best wishes* |
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Every action has a reaction; every cause has an effect; every glance has a stare; every crime has a punishment; every hurt has a healer; every fantasy has a reality and every sober thought has a drunk word.
A start.... |
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He challenges me on so much. He gets a thrill when I get rilled up and passionate about something. I think He smirks about it and takes it all in with His evil thoughts.
Oh my dear Sadist, I love You with every piece of my being. Punishment will come as it may, it is nothing compared to standing up for what I believe in! You're very right I'm adament, I'm relentless, I'm firm, fixed, unmovable! One day You will thank me.....again with a great reward. I am a good girl, I really am.
Yes You have met Your match but You and only You knows my weaknesses and ways to make me to submit like no other...ever!
I stop in my tracks when I feel you breath on me. That nudge from your nose to my hair. The way you swing me around like a rag doll. Hmmmmm, rag doll. Maybe the beginnings of another beg, but we will see. Yes next time I will put my hair in pig tails, oh yes pig tails. My Sadist, my Master I cannot get enough of You.
My eyes are heavy and I know You're already in dreamland. I'll be dreaming of subspace and my left hand;).
M~ |
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I think I just got really really really sick to my stomach...ugh
I hate it when I almost bite a hole into my lip!!
*disgusted*
Sometimes you have to make a decision for whom you care about more. One sees where they stand. Someone wants to learn the hard way..more than one will suffer in more than one way.
Here I go with my very own Mrs. Robinson! How lucky am I?!?!?
Hello, remember me? *sighs* I have feelings, real feelings. One cannot control someone who possesses the will to destroy at all cost.
Attention attention whether its negative or positive you're giving her attention. It's enticing her to continue on the destructive path of destroying you and what and WHO is around you.
*refraining* from sharing any more thoughts on the matter because my words would be swift, rude and totally not my character. Plus I do not wish to suffer any more punishments.
I really should put myself on restriction again. Aspirated!! But what else do you do when you're passionate about something!
No pun intended but women are trifling, vindictive and I know you're not dumb! |
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Up and down and up and again to fall straight down to my knees.
Makes me laugh at how I tried so hard to rebel today, I tried. I did pretty good up until the fifth hour and I started thinking about His 1st warning:
You can't place yourself on speech/typing restriction. That's called "the silent treatment" and is punishable to the fullest extent!
Ok i could handle that warning. I thought I am not giving you silent treatment, I am working. I am giving everyone the same blank looks and nodes, that I would give him. It's the only way I can get through all this "crap" going on. I had to fix my mind. But all my mind could do was replay how mad he is by now, what is he thinking? But I knew "getting rid of me" wasn't going to be an option and that was satisfying for me. There goes that "ping" "ping" on my phone over and over again. Ok a message and a devil face another ping and it's a mad face. Uh oh, I really believe I've made him upset. "Yes!". Mission accomplished.. I have found what pisses him off. I start giggling with excitement. That excitement was short lived when I read his next journal:
Somehow, the grip on her silence entices my urge to lose control. To yell and scream unnecessarily. Every second is a stab in the chest that I want to jab her with the cattle prod. Hold it against her skin and watch her flinch. Make her wait for the sting that will bring that immediate zap running through her body and forcing muscles to seize as she fights the bonds. I love her so much. How can she force my hand like this? Why would she think that there is benevolence in silence when it's still being "brat-tish?" Is it me who's mad or her silent antics? Master Ibgy....
I freeze! Oh crap! Look what you've got yourself into now!! "You HATE his cattle prod!". Karma! And he knows what you hate!
Ok I don't have time to speak with him so I of course pulled out of my hat a well thought put together journal, short and sweet. I only call him my Dear Sadist when I'm mad at him. I call him my Dear Love when things are going well, I'm sure he has picked up on that. But I am forever branded to Him, He is my Master, my Comforter, my Healer, my Confident...And will be forever my Freaky Mind Controlling Sadists!!!
After withstanding all I could and the more I thought about that dreaded cattle prod the more I begin to walk with my behind tucked and my legs crossed, it seemed. So I gave in and sent very short lived messages but I was STILL MAD AT HIM! Was I mad? Gosh what was I mad about now?
Later in the day as I'm going on my 12th hour at work I find myself kneeling in a very fond position froPm Saturday. "Stop sitting like that, you know that's going to get you aroused.". I giggle to myself and place one hand on my knee ever so perfect. I close my eyes and breath him in, his touch, his smell.
This man exasperates me constantly but I find myself dropping to my knees with nothing but full intent to serve him. Serve him in every way possible, serve him and lift him up as he deserves, needs and wants. I want my Sadists to be happy and I'm even happier giving HIM everything I am and everything I can be for His own sadistic use. To please Him completely, forever.
After we both returned to our homes from work we spent 1 1/2 hours on the phone and I hope worked some of our differences, even if it was just hearing each others voices that made the difference.
My marks, His beautiful marks are starting to dissipate and my body desires more. My mind desires him.
God help us, we are so dangerous for each other but o so PERFECT!
I do I do love that Sadist of mine.
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The urge for my own speech restriction, despite whatever you may call it, upon myself is still temping even 12 hours later.
I know only one thing that will stop my jaws from hurting and locking up, my eyes from swelling, keep my heart soft and knock down my sassy behind.
But does my Dear Sadist know?
I will melt like butter on a hot steamy June evening.. |
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My Dear Sadist
I'd rather have all the electric shocks in the world, for that torment is much more bearable than watching me lose my complete sanity and mostly myself, so silent I stay. |
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Placing myself on speech restriction along with typing restriction so I will not be a bothersome little brat today! |
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So I'm interested in going to a TMG dinner soon. Anyone else thinking about going and to which one? |
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I have to say I believe I've lost ten pounds in the last two glorious weeks, as I turn my body around and see my marks. Oh yes there's that mark from the well crafted knots. Oh yes there's his territorial bite mark, oh wait there's two. And my behind oh my poor behind if looks could kill I'd be dead. This goes for the saying "it looks worse than it feels". He thinks it's beautiful, well taken and I'm proud to have been given this opportunity to take it from Him.
That is all I'm going to write for now..
I really need to write my own erotic book, I do believe. |
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Something I must share:
Falling into complete ecstasy of subbie heaven my body..oh my body became very very limp. The kind of limp you feel as your passing out right before a surgery. (I should know I've had many). He was there the whole directing, holding, teaching. Those eyes oh those eyes. There must have been something about those intense glares because it only fueled that burning fire and desire in the both of us. As our play carried on, after the comfort of Him, I was still moving in and out of that feeling, almost feeling comatosed. I could hear Him speaking to me, I still obeyed, spoke when I could but my body was gone. Flying high..higher than I could ever imagine. Remarkable feeling something I will always hold near and dear to my heart.
I cannot explain enough on my high even on Monday morning as trying to gather my vanilla thoughts back together.
That Man, what am I going to do with Him? |
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As this day progresses on I get more and more sore. The evidence of my weekend is growing more apparent. My body is tired but desiring more. He was so patient, loving but firm. He knew me, my body so well already, He knew how much my mind could take and how much my body would allow me to take. My mind wanted so much more, my body knew it was enough. It's evident as I am typing this journal, my behind still cringes from a welcoming, vibrating sting. The most fascinating feeling, the most surreal feeling I have ever experienced was "sub space." It was amazing, so worth it. I had no idea it was happening until my whole body just fell limp. He knew it happened because I was no longer scratching and clawing at him. All He could do was hold me, comfort me and bring me back. "Breath", He says and I do as I am told because I often forget to breath. I left Him with no regrets and had one last visit the next morning. I am confused to what I am now, I did consider myself a switch but now I am not sure. I did everything He asked with no questions, not even a thought to it. I was more concerned with Him and what He wanted without a thought to myself. I was thankful for everything I was taught and I am excited about everything I am going to have the opportunity to learn. Now is His chance to mold me and make me into something He wants me to be but mostly into someone I will love. I cannot love completely until I love myself again....
**Now time for the healing process but dying for MORE**
***Pain is my new found love and friend*** |
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"It's the submissives that show to others what type of Dom owns them." - Anonymous
"submissives need to be told what to do. Slaves need to do what they are told." - Unknown |
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Wiping a very vague tear away. "You broke all your rules, it's your own fault.", I sigh to myself. "He was one of a kind, someone with unstoppable confidence and highly sadistic expectations, did you really think he was that into someone as plain and mousy as you?" ?I'm starting to get a little upset with my self conscience, she hasn't shut up since that dreaded night. ? O yes that night was all a very badly played out misunderstanding with too many emotions and alcohol. ?He was drinking and I was my overly emotional head over hills in love. "Why would you even believe that HE loved and cared for you?" My self?conscience is really working on my nerves. ?I continue with my beautiful blue drink with seven liquors. Hmmmm, seven there's that number again. ?Two feet to run, a firm hand to guide, two eyes to look deep in my soul, a mouth to speak and a mind that wants something I cannot give him. ?I knew when I sent him that very first message, I knew I was taking a very big dangerous step. ?I just had no idea it would consume my every strand of life. Everything went too fast. From the web, to messenger, to texting then that two hour conversation on the phone! ?I broke every rule and barrier I had! ?I went with my emotions instead of my brain. My self conscience is so mad at me and I cannot say I blame her. As I think back to that conversation my self pity emotions leave, leave with a gallop leap! ?HOW THE HELL DOES HE GET AWAY WITH COMPARING ME TO EVERY OTHER PLAYMATE!! ? He might as well be playing Russian Roulette with my head! ?
Some time has past through the day and I feel like I made a good stand for myself. I feel very relieved but still cautious. This life is not easy but I'm working on making it a little easier on my heart. What am I ever going to do with my overbearing control freak? I guess what any good girl would do and let him have his way with me. It's a special kind of relationship we have and it's one I know I cannot be without. It's rare someone hurts me like that and I stick around but our relationship is rare, enchanting, challenging, unique and overbearing but that's what I love about him. The sadist that he is and he still allows me to challenge him, that's an amazement in itself.
My awful day turned into a day that I will be able to sleep well through tonight and I know he will too.
Argh! My super control freak!!! |
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http://www.astrology-online.com/sagittar.htm |
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My burning skin radiates with the heat of smoldering flesh. One touch will ignite the burning flames inside. Just that one touch will change everything. The touch where I loose my breath, my stomach travels into my throat back straight down to my toes.
As I apply my white eye shadow with the brown crease fill, I look a my eyes wondering of they look sad today? How did they look when he told me my eyes were full of pain. How did he know, what did he know?
Now as I apply my blush I wonder who many true Dominant men I come in contact with each day from my job. How do I know? Is it that businessman with the impeccable suit that I cannot seem to get enough stares in? Or the one I cannot look straight in the eye because his stare with so deafening?
More to come later.. |
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| Age: 22 |
| Anaconda,
Montana |
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