why is it someone from the past pops up after realizing they were a total arsehole to you and wants to appologise? alittle too late. 6 months of feeling rejected and hurt and they think saying sorry makes it all better. If i wasnt so polite and nice id have told them to go fuck themselves!

Oh MY God! why are all the men local to me sub? DOM MEN WHERE ARE YOU? not in bedfordshire thats for sure!

just when you are about to give up someone unexpectedly turns up who changes your mind

oh my god why do i waste my time on here looking for someone genuine and all i find are time wasters!!!

11lb down

not long now till il be with my dear Sir. im all excited and nervous bu i know when i see Him i will be so happy x

1 week till the club. getting excited and nervous to be spending it with Sir.

i hope i can please Him

Its three weeks till the next club night and im hoping this will be enough time for my Sir to be well enough to take me there and show me that strong dominant side of Him again.

Its horrible knowing He is unwell and in discomfort and pain.I wish i could do something to make Him feel like His normal self again. Maybe i will have to get dressed up in my corset, tutu and high heals and take some pictures to put a smile back on His face and remind Him what Hes missing. That makes me sound quite vain when im really not.In reality il be feeling nervous taking the pics and only doing it because i know it will make Him happy to see His slave dress as He likes her to dress. i can guarantee il have a shy subby look on my face and be full of nerves wondering if He will like what He sees.

Although i am no longer free i will not feel fully owned till i sign the contract Sir has written. i have been obedient, and i have not been permitted to play with my pussy or orgasm. its been a few weeks but it feels like forever. i am starting to consider that my body is not my own to play with as i choose. It is Sirs to either punish or pleasure depending on His mood.i am becoming sexually frustrated and the more i think that i can not play the more aroused i become and the more frustrated. Its a evil little circle that im sure Sir is enjoying. Still i hope my good behaviour will pay off and il be rewarded. Although knowing that its pleasing Sir puts a smile on my face. But i would like to have the sweet releaseonly a orgasm can give. But when this does happen it will be Sirs decision, not mine.

i think about how i will feel when we meet again.how nervous i get when the time is getting closer. the walk to your car giving me butterflies in my tummy. the feeling of my heart beating as i open the door and say hello Sir. i keep thinking how will i feel when your standing in front of me, will i instantly have the urge to fall to my knees? i shut my eyes and imagine how i will feel when you place me in my collar for the first time. im on my knees at your feet, lifting my hair up for you my eyes lowered to the floor. when its on a wave of submission and happiness wash over me.a feeling of being owned, a feeling of saftey and belonging. i cant wait x

sitting at work thoughts of you go around my head. i long to be at your feet, my head resting on your knee, you softly stroking my hair. The sudden  change as you grab me by the throat and force me to look up at you, reminding me that i belong to you. you tell me all that i am belongs to you. my body, mind and soul. i am no longer free, i am owned completely. i have no conrtrol over my body, its in a constant state of arousal, desperate for you to use it as you wish. crying out for your touch, to recieve either pleasure or pain. No longer caring which, just needing to feel the contact of your skin on mine. just to be near you, to feel your dominant presence. to know that any moment you can have me right under your thumb sqirming from your touch. begging for you to take me and ravish me.using me for your own sexual gratification. your pleasure and enjoyment being my number one priority but hoping you will allow me some sort of sexual release. i have been good and fought the temptation to touch between my legs, the pussy that you now own is no longer mine to play with as and when i choose. i have resisted the urge to orgasm knowing that without your approval or permission it wouldnt be enjoyable. hoping that my good behaviour will earn me a reward.

something strange happened today. i was getting a lift to work with my dad and he started smoking so i opened the window. im trying to quit and didnt want the smell of it on my clothing. He had his window open but the smoke was swirling around me and making me feel a little nauseous. He said shut your window as he was getting a draft and normally i would argue with him, but today i was just opening my mouth to complain, i just let out a little sigh and shut the window. it suprised me. i guess Sir is really bringing out my submissive side more than i thought, even in my everyday life.

It also reminded me of something id read about experiments with mice.They did a test with a pair of mice both were put into containers of water, they either had to swim to stay alive or drown.( not a nice experiment i know!) One of the mice gave up almost straight away, the other fought to stay alive. It swam for as long as it could before finally tiring and submitting to its fate.When they looked at the serotonin levels in the brains of the mice the one who attempted to stay alive the longest had higher levels of serotonin. The test showed that when you do submit after a struggle you have higher levels of happiness. Maybe thats why some of us including myself like to be a little disobedient, cheeky or even fight back at times, because when we do finally submit we get that wonderful surge of adrenalin and wave of serenity and happiness.So all you Doms/Domme Masters and Mistresses out there dont punish us for being a little cheeky we just do it for the buzz it gives us, and just like the mice its a natural instinct.

just when you think life cant throw any more shit at you it comes a dumps a whole skip load of it on you!

what a beautiful day, the sun is shining and life is good. Sir sent me some texts today and it made me feel weak at the knees.i hope He gets well so we can got to the club next week. i so want to be sat at His feet and look up at Him adorringly.

is feeling alot happier today. my dear Sir is getting abit better and hopefully wont feel so ill. It was lovely chatting to Him earlier on today, i almost forgot how much i love chatting to Him.

To those of you who have messaged me please read my profile first. I am a loyal slave and i am owned as it clearly states. i take ownership as a serious comitment and im not looking for anyone to play with or searching for a new master.

My dear Sir has been in touch with me. my mind had been running away with me thinking silly things. Everything is fine, although Sir is unwel. i do wish Him well and im thinking of Him constantly.

I havent heard from Sir for a while now. my first thought was have i done something to displease Him. i dont think i have. we were planning to meet up.i got home from work and made sure my make up was perfect expecting Sir to text and say He would soon be there but i never recieved a text. i sat up on msn hoping He would come online. i waited patiently for Him. as it got later i felt sad and lost with out Him. its really sinking in just how much i need a Master in my life. someone to please and keep happy. i hope He is ok i and long to talk to Him. i shall wait patiently for Him to contact me. every second feels like a hour.

Had a disapointing morning yesterday. My favourite quote always comes to mind in situations like this     " often the strongest of souls are seared with scars" . well that sums me up in one sentence. you cant keep me down for long, i always bounce back stronger than ever!

Talking to Sir soon cheered me up.Even thought i had a nasty headache chatting to Him soon made me forget all about it. He makes me feel happy. Lifes problems seem to fade away and all that matters is Him, and the moment that your in.

i keep thinking about the whole DBSM dynamics, i understand the submissives view and what they like and enjoy about someone having control over you but iv been thinking about the dominatants point of view and what they gain from it. i wonder if they get the same thrill and absolute arousal as i do as a submissive or if its different for them.

i keep replaying my first meet with Sir over in my head and trying to picture it from Hims point of view. i have to say i can kind of see how having someone be so submissive towards you and swirming from your touch, having someone willing to do anything you tell them to, is quite a nice thought. But id still much rather be the submissive. Its in my nature i couldnt be domme if i tryed lol.

Is amazed how this site attracts so many wankers. If sending a obtuse message is the only way you can get a female to messages you then your life must be pretty sad. Grow yourself some fucking balls and dont insult people in such a cowardly manner.

Surely you know your going to get blocked and reported so why do it???

My dear Sir was feeling unwel yesterday. i wish i could have been there to look after Him, to wait on Him hand and foot. The weekend is coming and its going to feel like a lifetime till i can contact Him again. i so want to be with Him. i hope we meet up again soon.

Sir asked me to wear my corset and get on webcam for Him. Of course i did this for Him and was asked to do a few differnet things for His pleasure. He wanted to see His new property. He seemed to like His new slaves boobs that He now owns and i think He enjoyed seeing the pain on my face from wearing nipple clamps that He demanded i put on them. Doing this was difficult for me as i am extremely shy when it comes to my body but i did it for Sirs own pleasure, not mine. i know He will push me and break my shyness but i know i will feel uncomfortable the first few times He sees me naked. i also know that when im at a certain level of arousal nothing else seems to matter. Sir allowed me to touch myself, which was a great relief as i have been banned from playing with myself. Although i was not allowed to climax it was such a pleasure to feel my own juices on my fingers and slide my finger tips over my throbbing clit. i was pleasantly suprised to feel how wet Sir had made me with out even touching me or being in the same room. Shocked at how someone i hardly know has me under His thumb already and knows how to turn me on. He is becoming part of me, He has prenetrated my thoughts and lingers there all day. i constantly want to be talking to Him and badly want to be with Him. i want Sir to penetrate me physically , to be at His feet looking up adorringly at Him. To feels His cock in my mouth and to feel Sir deep inside His slaves pussy.

im starting to feel protected by Sir. He replied to some messages i had, generally most of the messages i get are nice but on the odd occasion you get a rude one. Its comforting to know that Sir is looking out for me and will soon sort out any unwanted attention. i think He is concerned that i may talk to other Doms and He may lose me, im more than happy for Sir to read all messages i recieve and will never hide anything from Him. For this to work i need total honesty and thats what i give in return. i think its sinking in a little more now that i have found "the one" for me and my long tedious search is finally over. It fills me with warmth that radiates from within, a comfort in knowing you belong. i cant remember the last time i felt so happy and content.

Meeting Sir was amazing. i had forgotton how someone can make me feel so submissive towards them. i had seen Him via webcam but in the flesh He has so much more of a strong domminant presence that leaves me nervously squirming in my seat. i could see it came naturally to Him, its part of Him, dominance oozes out of every pore in Him body just as submission oozes out of me, leaving me a excited wet knickered mess when around Him. The little things that make my heart race like Him telling me to look down to the floor or to sort my hair so He can take hold of it. His strong fingers closing around my neck gripping me tightly while telling me i am His, His slave and only His, every inch of my body was now belonging to Him. He gave me a slap around the face for being cheeky and a wave od submission came crashing down around me. i could barely look up out of shame for displeasing Him. Its a strange feeling that i cant quite explain, but im flooded by it. The feeling of being with someonee stronger than you, knowing you are at His mercy, knowing you have no control over the situation. Anything could happen and you are unable and unwilling to stop it.One moment your talking and the next He has you right where He wants you, your a horny mess willing to do anything just to please Him. Hes playing with your mind, knowing how ul react He toys with you, taking pleasure from your discomfort and arousal so easily turned on by Him. He enjoys your constant level of arousal, Hes keeping you ready for Him to use at any moment.

i long to be with Him again, to let the play really start. To be on my knees before Him and take His cock for the first time. i am His now, and He can use me as He wishes. i have no choice and can make no demands of Him. i willingly offer Him my body to pleasure Him with, how He uses it is His choice. i will deny Him nothing.

 i finally got to meet Sir today. i was instructed to get into his car, sit with my legs open so he always has access to me,and  to give him hold of my hair.My palms upwards on my thighs, then to learn over to him asking if i may approach Sir for a kiss.

He said yes you may and pulling me by the hair closer to him he then  kissed me. i felt alive with desire. Sir is even more strong and dominating in real life and i have to say when he went to the cash machine i couldnt help but check out Sirs bum, and i have to say Sir has a extremely nice ass, althogh i didnt tell him this at the time as i was too nervous.

We went for a drink im a cozy local pub.Sir gave me the pleasure of touching his hard cock through his trousers, i know Sir is looking forward to me gagging on it when i go down on him, and due to its size i think i will gag alot. Sir made me feel very submissive and aroused when he did different things to me.Like grabbing me by the neck and slapping my face when i was cheeky. It been such a long time since i have felt like that. Sir makes me feel more submissive that i have ever felt before. It maybe partly excitment and fear as i still dont know him very well. All i know is i loved every second of it, and so badly need it in my life. i hope i have made Sir happy and look forward to the next meeting with him .

oh my god! its nearly monday! its almost time to meet Sir. my insides are doing somersaults! yet inside my knickers im stupidly horny still. i wish i could play with myself but Sir has banned me from touching myself. being told i cant makes me want to do it even more. i will not cave in, i want to make Sir proud.

Another day closer.i feel that my days of freedom are numbered.At least i hope so.

im attracted to Sir like a moth to the light, i can not get enough of Him.

This feels too good to be true.

Another day has passed and my desire to meet Sir increases by the day.

I am filled with butterflys in my stomach from excitment realising that i will soon belong to Him.

We have talked about a suitable name for Him and what we came up with is perfect.

Its only a few short days till we meet buts its feeling like a lifetime.

i am certainly one happy spirit x

Its been a few days since Sir and i started talking. Each day i learn a little more about Him, and so far there is nothing i do not like about Him. He has a amazing devilish laugh that i addor already and i cant wait to see it when i meet Him. He seems to be everything i am searching for all wrapped up in one. i have the impression He will be a strict but fair Master. But i fear my own cheekiness will provide me with many punishments, not that i think He will mind administering them. i find myself constantly checking my phone to see if i have a message from Him, my heart sinking when i haven't and it skipping a beat when i do.

Things He says makes me feel that wonderful submissive side come out, like when i forget to address Him as Sir He reminds me of my place and to address Him in the correct manner, His domminance coming across in the tone of His voice, and the way He says "good girl" when i have pleased Him, which brings me such happiness. i long to meet Him, but im scared and excited all at once. im frightened i may not be what He expected. i dam other so called "Doms" from the past who have knocked all the self confidence out of me, and i hope He is the one to restore my faith in them again. i need a Master in my life like i need the air that i breathe. Only when i am owned to i feel complete. To me a Master is the missing piece of the puzzle, the key to my lock, the yin to my yang, the domminance to my submission. After all how can a slave truly be a slave if she has no one to serve? i long to feel that sence of belonging to someone, and feel their collar around my neck. To give myself to someone , mind, body and soul, entrusting them to take care of my wellbeing, To take me under their wing, to guide me, protect me, punish me, reward me, cherish me, and enslave me.

i long to call Him Master. i hope i have found Him, i hope He is the last Master i have, i hope my gut feeling is right and i will belong to Him and Him alone.

i hope my search is finally over.

i hope i will be His.