songbird26

Female Submissive, 42, Victorville, California

Male Switch, 30, schaumburg, Illinois

Female Submissive, 36, Brussels Canada

I have a zero-tolerance policy for assholeish behavior from dominants.  Zero.  One strike and you're out. I'm not talking about honest mistakes, here.  I make them all the time and beg forgiveness for them, and would be the world's biggest hypocrite if I held to some hard line on perfect behavior.  I'm talking about the entitlement some dominants seem to feel, or the replacement of basic rules of etiquette with 'bdsm protocol.'  No, it doesn't work that way.  The protocols of formal kink sit on top of, and enhance, basic manners; they do not replace them.   And a dominant who is lucky enough to be "self-actualized" in his "needs" yada yada yada doesn't just get to do exactly what he pleases when he pleases because of some pseudopsychological "enlightenment" he's reached about his true nature.  Can you smell the bullshit?  In other words, a dominant who does not use please, thank you, excuse me, or I am so sorry that my plans unavoidably changed...how can I make it up to you? is not being dominant, he's just being a mannerless dick.  Accept no substitutes.

There's been a new trend in some of the emails I've been getting lately: 'dominants' who write saying "where have you been, I never heard back from you!" or "are we ever going to continue our conversation?" or similar.  Come on.  Do you honestly think I won't remember who I've been talking to?  Writing this kind of thing makes you look like an idiot.  Or possibly just a desperate loser with no line.  I can't really decide.  The boards continue to amaze, amuse, educate, and entertain!  And what a wonderful way to get to know people and their real positions and feelings on so many important issues.

I'm having a fantastic time reading the message boards here.   Newbies to CM take note: it's a great way to get a 'feel' for people and their positions on different issues, it's a wonderful way to meet folks, and there's a lot of knowledge and learning floating around there (not to mention some stuff that'll make you bust a gut laughing at the absurdity.  heh).  I know most people use this place primarily for the personals, but the message boards are a fabulous resource, too, and can me more than a little entertaining!

Let's try this one more time:  I will attempt to reply to every email from people who have clearly read my profile and have taken some time to write.  I will *not*, however, reply to one-word or one-line emails.  Thanks, and have a good day.

It's been brought to my attention that I'm sounding like something of a negative nelly on here so far.  Since I'd hate to leave that impression--really, when I'm not ranting on a pet peeve, I'm very cheerful!  *grin*--I'd like to mention the fact that I've met some of the most wonderful, sweet and helpful people so far on this site, and I truly appreciate each and every thoughtful email that people send my way.  I'm having a great time, here, and am grateful for the opportunity to do so.

*thoughts on married doms who are playing around* People, please.  You expect me to consider you dominant, someone who can control a submissive, when you can't even get your own life into basic order?  It's one thing to have an open relationship: I can respect and even admire that, though it's not something I'd enjoy myself.  But the standard 'my wife doesn't understand me, I'm stuck in this bad situation and I can't change anything but you sound so wonderful' schtick is twice as lame in this context.  In my experience, you can change anything in your life, you just have to want it badly enough and exercise some strength of will.  Sneaking around behind your spouse's back is a sign of weakness and bad character, full stop.  I don't want a weak dom.  Do you?

I've only been here a couple of days, but I've already met some fantastic people.  I've also  become a little frustrated with the personal ad response.  I'm considering taking down my photo...maybe that will encourage more people to actually read my profile before emailing me.  Just a thought.

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