slvseeksBlkDom

Male Submissive, 40, boston, Massachusetts

Male Submissive, 39, South of Seattle, Washington

Female Submissive, 22, Los Angeles, California

well I am not sure what day we are on, but I would like to wish everyone a Happy 2016 New Year!! Things have been okay, just somethings that Sir and I are still not seeing eye to eye on. I am sick for the second time this month, so I am going to make this short and sweet...

Miss was talking about getting me some sort of Internet at night. Miss came to me with one of her iPhones so that way I can have some enjoyment...thank you very much for this reward...

Day 26: I am just going to write about my emotions and the way I am feeling. I think that Miss and I have a great relationship, but Sir and I are apparently not seeing eye to eye about things, as he is brash about everything he says and does. I don't want anything to end, but I am thinking that's where its leading at this point. I cant be just one person sub, and the other is here, that's not right for me or for the other person... What do I do??? Well I have expressed my feelings to Miss today, and if this type of animosity keeps up, I am going to have to take other alternatives. Last night was awesome though, as Miss asked me if I would like to be flogged, and of course I said yes!! Miss flogged me and drew india ink on my back and then drew a picture on my back. I will be posting pics up soon... :-)

Day 25: Tasks, talking to a potential slave for Sir and Miss's household. i woke up this morning and i saw Miss and Sir eating breakfast, i looked at the clock and it was 10:00am. Sir said i was late for my chores, and i felt a grumble in my stomach, because i am never late for my tasks. After breakfast, We all went out and placed more insulation around the pipe, so Sir can put heat into the restaurant. as i hold on to my word, i told Sir's potential slave for the household, that i would call him today, and i done just that. Sir is continuing to look for slaves for his household. Tasks: laundry pipe insulation sweep floor

Day 24: Merry Christmas, Gifts, Sir and Miss Gift to me, Christmas Dinner, and tasks Merry Christmas everyone, I hope you all have a great Christmas. I woke up this morning to find a present from Miss and Sir in my cowboy boot. I opened it up and it was an anal prostate locator, so I can only imagine how this will be used :-) Everyone exchanged gifs and opened gifts, and that was great. Miss's Mom gifted me with a bottle of Diet Mt Dew, and a card that had 20.00 in it. I felt great receiving this, but I felt great just being able to spend Christmas with someone. Sir is the cook here, as He decided to fix prime rib, salad, Yorkshire pudding, and some other vegetables right along with it. It will be tasty I am sure :-) This year was a bit different for me in exchanging and spending time with Miss and Sir. Tasks for today as follows: clean liter box collect eggs fill wood burner fill water bottles and tie to hay tarp scrub tub and shower feed animals dishes throughout the day help Sir with any requests that He may have.

Day 23: Day Off Miss decided to give me the day off from working. So instead, we went and did some last minute Christmas shopping. As we were driving, I saw a golden eagle and a  coyote run along the road. First time to see both. Sir has the day off tomorrow, and the next day, so I am happy about that.

Day 22: Bondage Session, anal play, edible art, Sirs hitting "anticipation", update on weight loss. Well tonight I felt something in the air, Miss had other ideas for me tonight. she told me to go shower, and I done just that. when I come back, Miss had some yellow rope tied to the beds of 2x2's, so I knew what was about to happen. Miss tied me up, and when I say that no one can get lose from her knots. After Miss had tied me up, she began to flog my back, and entire body. It hurt but felt oh so good. Her mind got sadistic, as I just laid there, waiting on what was going to happen next. She then, got creative and hit me with a black paddle, and she used other implements to use on me.  So I got worried, when she went to the kitchen. She went to the drawer, and got something cold and wet, and started to lube up my ass. As much as I love things in my ass, my ass is pretty tight. She first stuck in a marker, but then she stuck some unknown object in my ass, as she wouldn't let me know what it was. It felt good to have my ass played with... as my goal is to be wide open that way its doesn't hurt as much. After Miss was done, She used some edible art, and put words on my back. she took pictures, and I have placed the pictures on my profile. Take a look at your own risk, and feel free to make comments about them. Also if you love ice in your drinks, well I now hate ice for everything, as Miss rubbed ice all over my body, after she got done flogging and spanking me. Sir got in the mix, as He went to go to the kitchen, so I thought. He leaned over and spanked me with the black paddle, and had some flogger time with me as well. It felt so good when Sir jumped in, because rightly he has been sick. I love it when Sir and Miss play with me, because it makes me feel more complete. Last but not least, my weight. When I came here I was 260lbs, and now tonight I checked my weight, and I am down from 260lbs to 236lbs :-) Tonight has been a real great night all together :-) Miss had one more idea tonight, and this happened at the last second. Miss was jerking Sir off and then she called my name. I immediately got on the bed, and began sucking Sirs cock. Whilst I was doing that, she was flogging me across my butt... needless to say that was very interesting and wished Sir didn't cum as quick LOL. -- When i was getting ready for bed, Miss called me in there room, and i gave her oral service. she said i wasn't as good as Sir... but hey she enjoyed it, as i licked her ass and ate her pussy. She is a juice box, and i went to bed with her juices on my face.

Day 22: Conversation with Miss about Detail and other topics I have learned several different things amongst being here on my trial period about myself. I have learned to insulate pipe and learned how to work a saw the right way. I get frustrated with myself, because I know how to do things, but the detail is what slips my mind. Well Miss and I talked yesterday, and one of the things that I can do now is journal when I have time, or when I think I need a break from working. I hope this allows me to free my mind a little, and just let my words flow through my fingertips while writing. One thing that I am having a hard time with is paying attention to detail. Miss has noticed that I don't pay attention to a lot of detail, so I am working on that as we speak. Again not many Dominants like to compromise, but Miss has decided to compromise on a few things with me, like my journaling time, or like my free time. Another thing I don't have to do anymore is get up at 7am and go and visit with her mom... I can now relax and then go and visit with her. Visiting with her mom, has gave me knowledge of what her mother is about, and how long she has lived on this earth, plus I like playing with her dog "jack" :-). I brought it to Miss attention that I would like something with internet on it, so that way at night when I am done with my tasks, I can relax, and have some free time, to talk to my friends. Miss and Sir will not keep me from my friends and family, as they are not like that. Well I haven't posted much about my run ins with the horses and horse gate, but today while I was splitting wood, I manage to have the wedge hit my leg, and man that hurt. Also while gathering wood, the horse gate swung the opposite way and nailed me in my leg right above the wound that the wedge got me in... All in all it has been a pretty good, long and tedious day...

Day 21: A milestone from my trial Today has been three weeks since I agreed to my three week trial. I have learned a lot from my trial, and will continue to learn so much more about myself. With that said, I am staying on with Miss and Sir until the wheels fall off, so to speak. Tasks: Clean Tub Clean Litter Box Split wood wash dishes laundry insulate pipe stack wood feed horses and cows gather eggs

Day 20: Tasks Laundry Picked up and Split Wood Fed Cows/Horses Took out trash Dishes Water Boiler Dusting Washed Miss's Moms Floor Picked up eggs Tagged and Dated Eggs Moved Big log to other side of cow pen

Day 19: Expressing my feelings, Tasks. When I woke up this morning Miss gave me a priority to get done before anything, and that was to wash the bathroom floor. well I went to go do something else until Sir was out of the bathroom, in which I was trying to anticipate the needs of Miss. Miss looked at me, and said that I am being passive aggressive. I looked at her back and I said "Sir is in the bathroom" so that's why I am doing something else. Well she said to me that I seemed pissed off about something, and I told her that I wasn't pissed. Sir keeps saying that I am not submissive, and Miss is surely convinced that I am. I am starting to see that I am being more Dominant by the day, but Miss still is convinced that she sees a submissive in me. Well to be honest, I don't see a full slave, or submissive in me, as much as I see a dominant in me. I told her somethings today on how I was feeling and I expressed to her that I was feeling "uneasy" about somethings. I am not going to sit here and make like everything is okay, in which its not. Do I want to explore my dominant side, well yes!!! but will I get to explore it here, well probably not. I feel that I need to be dominant in my life because of the things that has happened in my life. I think I can handle being dominant, but I am thinking that Miss and Sir would lose that "little bit" of submissiveness that I do have. Let me explore both sides, and find out :-) Tasks for today: Washed Bathroom Floor Washed Entry Way Washed Kitchen Floor Dishes Fed Peacocks Made Sir and Miss's Bed Split Wood Laundry Fed Horses Fed Cows

Day 18: Bdsm Test Results 94% - Dominant 94% - Master 92% - Rigger 89% - Owner 82% - Sadist 77% - Voyeur 70% - Degrader 65% - Exhibitionist 63% - Rope Bunny 62% - Switch 59% - Masochistic 48% - submissive 41% - slave 27% - pet 14% - Girl or Boy role 13% - Degradee 41% - Vanilla That's why I keep saying that I noticed somethings in myself. so not so much a switch, but more Dominant. Sir really hit this one on the nail head.

Day 18: Afternoon Journal Today I was on my own a little bit, because Miss ended getting sick again. Her sickness has attacked her again. So after she gave me directions to dig the rest of the trench, so we could lay installation for the heat that is going to the restaurant. After that was done I remedied myself to go and split some wood. I have noticed that if I continue to split wood everyday, then that's less I would have to split when we run out. I accomplished something NEW today on my own. The other day when Miss showed me about the controls on the tractor, I took the initiative to get on the tractor, and maneuver around the controls by myself... Now my next job, is too haul a bail of hay on the tractor forks :-)

Day 17: Game night Miss and I played BDSM rummy tonight ;) and yes I lost by a score of 525 - 515 -- so close that the game was, I thought I was going to get her, and in the end.... well I got it ;)

Day 17: Evening Journal Well I take it that Miss and Sir are going to spend some time out tonight, so I have decided to write another journal... I think it would be cool if I wrote a morning journal and an evening journal, but only if time permits. I have been reading a lot about what people have quoted and I jotted a few of them down tonight. I will be mentioning them a little later on in my journal. I have been working without gloves for the last 16 days, unless I use the welders gloves, and that wasn't cutting it. I was either losing them, or misplacing them, so tonight Miss bought me some gloves so that way I could work, and to also keep my hands warm since its becoming fairly cold out. Assumptions vs Aggravations - Do you know why I put this here in tonight's journal??? Its because a lot of subs and slaves always wanna ASSUME everything and its quite aggravating when I am corresponding with them. I always get, "what is a typical day like"? Well THE LAST TIME I am going to say this... If you look in my journals, you will know... but a typical day would be its either cold out, or mother nature is taking its course somewhere else...  _____________________________________________________________________ Philip Leward wrote:  "Those who become astray, will be found" "If we don't have value, We have no understanding" "When you go through change, there is no loss" Let that sink into how BDSM fits with this :-)

Day 17: A little bit of information about Miss and Sir and there background: Sir has over 40 plus years experience Miss has over 35 plus years experience myself - I have over 15 years of experience Also those that are applying for positions must know to NOT expect SEX right off the bat, because Miss and Sir take things slow. So do understand that very much...

Day 17: Respect please if you have viewed my profile, and seek to find something interesting, please be kind to send me a message and let me know what caught your curiosity. If its to look at my profile, or even look at my pics or journals, then please always make comments, because everything that I have on my journal is a window of what life is like here with Miss and Sir everyday, if not the most anyway. I will send you a message back asking what caught your interest in my profile, once I have seen you have viewed my profile. Thank you in advance, and have a great day :-)

Day 17: Background information about me as a person Well this morning has been interesting as Sir for one had the day off, so we had several conversations about me as a person today. In this journal you will find different points that will be in bold writing, because I never knew them about myself until Sir pointed them out today. Sir also came outside to help me with some of my daily tasks, as HE showed me how to wield a splitting maul with only two hits at it, as It takes me awhile to split wood, but I am getting it. As we were in the house today, I asked Sir a couple questions about me, and HE still says that I strike him as dominant. I told him that it could be that I have been self sufficient pretty much my whole life. Dominant? I never thought I was, until Sir pointed out that I like to argue an argument... yep, that's dominant! I have always wanted to explore that side of me, but never knew that it was really there. Sir and Miss has described me as "Penelope" the horse as she likes to be dominant and submissive if she has to be. So with them telling me that, I have been saying in my mind "Maybe I am a bit dominant, but to what degree, I am not sure of yet". Miss, Sir and I was at the table and Miss was exploring options on munches. I haven't been to a munch in a long time, as I would really like to go again. Sir made the comment, of "he would like to take me out to a munch on a chain and show me off". I would love that , but have I really earned that type of enjoyment, or is it enjoyment....??? So I am honored for them to think of me as in going to a munch. Sir explained to me as we was done splitting wood, what the main reason for that was. I didn't know what it was for, I thought I was just doing something because I was told to do it. But Sir told me that the reason we split wood, is because that way it can dry out a lot faster and also that way it can burn a lot faster as well. Something new I have learned yet again today.  I have learned a lot from Miss and Sir since only being here for almost three weeks. - i would like to explain a couple points that i made notes of today. I think this will give you a better idea of what submission vs Dominant really is. When living on your own, you have to do everything yourself, and make sure everything is done before going off and doing another task, right? Well that's what submission is to a dominant, as if a dominant gives you a task at hand to do, and complete it, then its almost just everyday living. Same way with going to the grocery store and or eating, if a dominant gives you a task of going to the store and getting things for the house, wouldn't you do that in the "real world"??? of course you would... that's how your mind is set. With Being in the lifestyle, you may have one or more dominants giving you tasks to complete, but either way you would do them if you wasn't in the lifestyle. - Lets say you do something illegal and get busted by the police in everyday life? Well in the lifestyle its just like that. If you do something that you know your not supposed to do, you get consequences for your actions. In the lifestyle there is a thing called Consequences and Respect / Honor. Honor comes in when your dominants decide to give you a reward, whether it be taking the pee from them, or taking you somewhere with them, that is honor, and in everyday life, honor could be that you just got a raise in pay... well think of honor like that in the lifestyle, someone is about to get promoted... Those are two major points i wanted to make, because if your just getting in the lifestyle, maybe you should research what your getting into, because a lot of people in this lifestyle is very different. Sir and i had another conversation today. He asked me a few questions, and one question was "Do you know what happened in 1973?" I was clueless because i didn't know exactly what it was, as i said i thought it was the boston tea party... He told me that it was the end of the Vietnam war. another side clip for today and yet another lesson learned...I actually find it very interesting when Sir and i talk, because he leads me to yet another lesson learned. I got ahead of myself today, and forgot to put the tasks at hand for today... Well just like any other day, i fed the horses, done mine and Sirs laundry, wood splitted for the wood burner, dug some more of the ditch, which i made little to no head way because today is a bit cold. I am going to tackle it again today though.

Day 16: A long journal entry from when I was sick. Well I am going back a minute, because I was sick on day 13. and 14. So with that said here it goes. I went to bed on day 12, and I didn't really feel good that same night. I woke up about 3am, and flew out the door, and vomited everywhere. I came back in the door and I woke up Miss, and she told me to "lay in bed". I was in bed for 2 whole days. I vomited again, and this time I had diarrhea pretty bad. I went to go shower, because when you mix vomit with diarrhea, it doesn't work out too well. After my shower, I laid back down for a few, to rest, and before I knew it, it was light out. Miss came in and told me to rest and get better, and that's what I done for two solid days. That soon came to pass, and meanwhile Miss had got sick. Its been a rough week with everybody being sick, and to top it all off, the dog and Sir became sick. Well this too shall pass, right? So with that said, Seems like everyone is passing it fairly quickly. Miss and I fed the cows the other day, and this time she surprised me... she told me to help feed the cows, and then what shocked me, she said "get in the seat" and she showed me how to drive the tractor. Not even having a license, I was listening to what she was saying but scared at the same time. Miss showed me how to turn the tractor on, shift it into gear and also reverse the tractor, I was amazed I knew what I was doing, and in reality, I didn't know jack. Sir came back tonight, as HE was working out of state the last week. He works a lot, but the things I want to say about that, it expresses no concern of mine, but I am fearful of his health. I already had a couple of dominants die in my path, I am not so sure if I could handle another one dying in my path. I mean I understand that he loves to work and loves his job... but at his age, his body can only do so much. Miss and I relaxed a bit and then last night we watched a movie called "Delivery Man" I have never seen it, but Miss and I have been watching a lot of movies recently. If you ever seen it, who could imagine even having 533 kids, due to being in a sperm bank??? Sure the heck not me...

Day 14/15: Down with the sickness... will continue with the journals in the next couple of days...

Sir and Miss is looking for more slaves to add to their poly household... if chosen, you will do an interview with me, and then the next step is to pass you over, so Sir can speak with you. Whos really ready for this household?

Day 13: Tasks, The neighborhood Idiots, and Activities... This morning I woke, and Miss was running around like someone or something was hurt or on fire, but her mind was racing, because its close to the holidays. She told me to brush my teeth and shower, and I done just that. Miss then, told me to make some breakfast, and I done just that. I fixed me two fried eggs, before my chores were met...Well as any other day, I went to complete my chores, as Miss had some errands to do. One thing I want to mention was that Miss told me to bring in two 2x4's that has  hooks or "I" hooks in them, so she could use them for bondage. Miss enjoys bondage very well... so I am excited that some bondage might happen tonight... more to come about that later... Well while Miss was gone with her mom to do the errands that she had marked down for her today, the "idiots" came over to use the phone. Now mind you, these neighbors have an IQ of 2. They have no electric in there house, and they get their water from the stream out back. These people don't even bathe, so I wonder if I gave them a lesson on showering if they would pass LOL. Sir called today and we talked a few minutes, He will be home on Thursday night :-) I miss Sir when he is gone :-( As I was doing my chores, or finishing them up today, Miss decided to sit down and play cards with me. So we played regular rummy, and I won with a score of 560 to her low score. Since I won, Miss let me chose the next game, so I chose POKER. This wasn't regular poker, as we weren't betting with chips, but instead we were betting our clothes... well to make the long story short, I won as I matched Miss with her betting "pants and a shirt". Tonight must have been my luck, because I never beat her in anything :-) sub will

Day 12/13: No BDSM activity...as I had to go out of town for a week, but that week ended up being more hell then I thought. I called Miss up today (12/13) to have her come and pick me back up, and she done just that. She picked me up and we went to dinner with her mom. Now back to normal activity ;)

Day 11: Running Errands Today I woke up and Miss and I had a fun filled day. We ran errands today, and that was different. While running errands, she quizzed me on the drivers manual that I have been studying in last night. I got maybe 40% right, so I need to study more. Everyone that messages me and does interviews with me, per Sir asking me to find others for our household, often asks "What is a normal day like" and my only answer to that would be........"BUSY"

Continued on Day 10: Subspace Miss and I played another round of BDSM rummy tonight and this time if I lost, I got flogged. Miss was doing it lightly, so Sir showed Miss how to use his floggers. When Sir and Miss was flogging me at the same time, then I finally went into subspace. it felt so good to be back there again, after not being there for a period of time :-)

Day 10: Tasks, driver license, and Missed Sir and Miss today, and played a very unusual game of BDSM rummy ;) I woke up this morning knowing that Miss and Sir both had to work today. So my morning started off slow, but ended with a bang. I split wood mostly all day today, and as I was splitting, I was loading into the wood burner. The tasks are different everyday, so the tasks I didn't get completed today, I will get them completed in the morning. Miss advised me that she has to go back to work on Friday, so Miss and Sir will be gone once again. I have been thinking and talking to Miss about getting my drivers license, and tonight she brought home a book for me to study out of. I had a learners permit, at one point, but I am aiming higher to get my license. So I am going to be studying hard so I can get my drivers license and be complete with the rest of the world. I missed Sir and Miss today. I know that there trying to teach me new things, but I am hesitant about learning so much in just a few days. I feel as if I am overwhelmed with so much to do in so little time. Today I was exhausted by 5:00, so I am very overloaded with so much to write about. I am sure I am missing some things today, but when I can think more clearly, I will post them. So finally tonight Miss asked me if I played cards, and I said yes. I told her several card games that I played, and so we made a game called BDSM rummy. Its where I lose and THEN I have to take as many spankings from Miss as I lost. So if I lose by 120 points, then I have to take 120 whacks with wooden spoons ;) I am glad that Miss and I are forming a bond.

Day 9: Tasks, Wild horses, and Complications :-( I woke up this morning and saw Miss at the table. I took a shower and brushed my teeth, and took care of the things that I needed to take care of last night. Miss directed me to get a towel, and to sit down, as she cut my hair and trimmed my moustache for me today. Miss cares a lot about her subs and slaves, so in that regard, I do appreciate that :-) On a good note, I learned how to split wood today, so I was doing that for most of the morning and day. I also blowed some of the leaves and have more to take care of tomorrow. I fed the horses today, and they all was fed with little "guff". Well something told me to go back to where they were, and when I did.... I saw 6 horses in the camp yard, as the rope came untied, and all of them were everywhere. Miss and I got them all back across the stream, and we placed 4 of the horses back in the fenced-in-area. Last but not least, Sir and I had a disagreement over the phone, about "How one can change, and how one cant change. I specifically said to him "have you ever been a submissive", and he said "what do you think? I said, Okay then you cant imagine how a submissive feels, if you say one can just change over night. So that ruined a play night tonight, because I feel that he is treating me as property and not as "part of the family". I told him that I am submissive, and not a slave. Now I am willing to try anything once, and if this doesn't work out, well I will be setting down with Sir, and finding other ways to figure this out with him and I.

Day 8: Continued Well I got my first punishment tonight from Miss :-(. I somehow forgot my place, and over corrected her in what she was saying. So for punishment, she put on a pair of handcuffs on my wrists, backwards no less. The pain of it piercing my skin, hurt a bit. I thought it was for pleasure on both ends, but when she took them off, she said to me "next time use a little bit more tact". I knew right then and there I was on punishment. I know one thing, I will never over correct her anymore, imagine what I would have gotten, if it was Sir I was over correcting.... :-( Being out of the lifestyle a bit, you forget somethings, and Miss and Sir are doing a very good job training me in the way they want me trained as... :-) I did apologize to Miss... :-)

Expectations of our poly household: You would expect to be bathed and your teeth brushed before you start your day. you would expect to listen to Miss and Sir you would be expected to complete all daily tasks given to you. if you are a masochist, be expected to be molded into the way Sir wants you. follow all given instructions. journal everyday as you see me doing.

Day 8: Tasks, Discovery, used orally, Not interested... and Miss buys things.   I woke up this morning and found that Lucy the Dog was on my bed. I woke up and found Miss gone as Sir went to work this morning. I got Sirs coffee ready last night for this morning, and I was advised by Miss, that it went off early. Well when I done my daily routine, I went out to the table and found a note of a list of things that Miss wanted done today. My chores for today, was laundry, wash the floor, fill the wood burner, and a bunch of other chores that I cant think of right now. But before we get on to more of this morning, I would like to talk about last night. I was thoroughly exhausted from the day, so I went to lay down in my bed and relax. The next thing I heard was "will" come here... I thought my mind was playing tricks on me, so I laid there, and then I heard "will" again. I jumped up out of the bed, and I walked into Miss and Sir's room. Miss looked at me with a devious look, and said "Sir would like to use your oral skills". So Sir moved the blankets, and I saw a hard cock staring in my face. I moved my mouth up and down, and my jaw started hurting after awhile, so I had to stop, and re-adjust myself. I then began sucking more, and Sir was moving his hips up and down. Finally several minutes passed, and Sir shot his load in my mouth, and while he was doing so, I continued licking his cock and he was jumping around like he was convulsing. Now back today, I let Miss know that I was going to feed the horses, and I done just that. What I discovered is that Horses have huge dicks, as Ted the horse was swinging his cock around while he was walking back across the stream. He has a huge head, so women that say that they have been fucked by a horse.... yeah, dream on... because that sucker would kill you, and me if I tried to tag it... lol... Well I was sadly disappointed, "kat" sent me a message, today stating that she wasn't interested... Kind of made me sad, because she would have been perfect for the household. kat has a disability that limits her from doing things, but I was advised from Miss today, that she would modify her work for her... so hopefully I get a better response from her tonight :-) Finally, Miss asked me today what size do I wear and I said 8-9.5 in shoes. She bent over and "loved the view" handed me some cowboy boots, that I thoroughly enjoy. so now I don't only have some shoes, I have cowboy boots, and a nice sweat shirt she bought for me today too... I just mentioned this to Miss and hopefully, she talks to Sir about it, but I mentioned to her that I wanted to get my my permit and then license. She told me "that she would talk to Sir about it", as they are not people that hold other people down... they want there subs and slaves to succeed in all they do :-) will

Day 7: One week today, Tasks, Learning new things, talking to a potential sub. Well this morning I was tossing and turning, and Miss came in the entry way and asked me if I was awake. My eyes were half lit, like I had been shot by head lights. Well I started my day with brushing my teeth. After doing so, I came out and managed to start coffee for Sir. Miss told me today that Sir is a diabetic, and it did slip past my mind that she told me while we was on our way here. Today has been one week today, so I made it 7 days without any hardly "guffs" or growls... that is awesome. I am getting adjusted to the way things are here in the household. With that being said, I have learned some valuable things with Sir today. Sir was working on the mower so we could start raking the leaves. He asked me if I knew anything about this type of machine and I told him no... He commences to take the cover off the mower deck, and then changed a spring. Well I learned how to take the spring off, and also tighten down the bolts and nuts.. It seems as if I am learning something new everyday, be with Miss or with Sir. Sir has asked me to gather more slaves and subs for the household, preferably slaves. I have been talking to this one sub, and she rather has some interests in joining us. Hopefully that she joins our family :-) She has some valuable questions, so I hope that she considers Sir and Miss for at least for a trial basis. I feel very tired tonight, and maybe because I have been doing a lot. I have gained a few muscles from hauling the wood... so hopefully I will gain a few more. Last but not least, my patriots lost tonight 35-28 over the Eagles... not a bad game, but they still lost. will

Day 6: Tasks, Santa Claus, and lastnights activities :-) Well Sir made it in the house off the road yesterday, and I am so glad to see Miss happy, because she felt a bit lonely while Sir was away. I was outside doing chores when Sir drove in the driveway... and I was excited, but I actually thought it was santa claus driving a big rig. Sir works as a propane person, for lack of better of terms. Well I got to spend some time with Sir, but not much, because as I said he was tired. Well I was told to go make a hamburger for dinner, because I don't eat steak with mushrooms because I am allergic to mushrooms. So I ate me a cheeseburger. After dinner, I set in my chair and Miss and Sir were "involved" while I was watching. Miss asked Sir something, and then that lead me to get down on the floor and suck and lick Sirs feet. That's almost like a reward, because I love sucking and licking feet and toes. I WOKE UP this morning, to a bright and cheerful Sir and Miss. Just like everyday, I took my shower and brushed my teeth, and ate some eggs that was laid by the chickens. After I ate, I then got my chores for today, and today was a bit different, because I had to blow the leaves away from the house, vaccum the floor, laundry, and wash Miss's moms window as well. I had a bit of a rough time, and that's because I am not flexible like I used to be. Lastly today, Sir played santa claus at the feed store that Miss works at one day a week... He came home and told me that "he likes terrifying the kids" with his santa suit... LOL... I can mention this... If anyone wants to be apart of our household, then you must except to work, and work hard... whether it be it a minute thing, or a very strenuous thing or task, Miss and Sir except you to get it done. They don't put time limits on your chore, but if its something that takes 10 minutes, then 10 minutes it shall be :-) sub will

Day Five: Tasks at hand and Other Activities last night :-) Well I woke up this morning and I saw Lucy the Dog sitting in the entry way of the bathroom, so I assumed that Miss was in the bathroom. I saw Miss come out of the bathroom and I seen her walk past me several times before I finally woke up and she then gave me my direct tasks for today. But before I get to today, I want to rewind back to yesterday and last night. Miss and I were watching a movie and I asked her after the movie was over if she would like to play. Her eyes got bright as can be and said "sure". Miss directed me to lay down on the bed with my knees on the floor, and I done just that. She first used a flogger that had knots at the end of the rope, and She decided that it wasn't very effective. She then used a second flogger, and that one was more effective, and much painful. I am not a masochistic sub, but I do have some pain tolerance. It was hard to find subspace for me because the dog was licking me all over on my face, so I closed my eyes and focused on the pain that was being administered to me. Back to today, When I finally woke up, Miss gave me several tasks at hand, and those tasks had me busy all morning. Miss went to the place to get hay, and I was busy from the time she left, to the time she got back. Some of the tasks that Miss give me on a daily basis, are not hard, just very time consuming, which in return that keeps me quite busy. I fed the animals by myself today, and Miss showed me how to feed the peacocks and pea-hens tonight, and now that I know how to feed all the animals, it wont be a problem for me anymore. Finally, Sir arrived home tonight, and I overcame my fear of meeting Him. He really isn't that bad of a guy, once you start talking to Him. I don't know why I was fearful of meeting Sir, but I think it was because I met Miss first and then Sir. Sir is a very busy person, as HE works a lot... So I will enjoy my time with Sir as much as I can until He goes back to work. Now Sir has asked me to look for other slaves for him, So I will be looking and messaging some other slaves quite often.. everyday if I can. sub will

*** Since I flubbed on saving journal entry for today, I am not going to redo the whole thing, but I am going to put a major point in here... *** So below is a general idea of what Sir is looking for: slaves - no one saying that they have been in the lifestyle for years and then they say they have no limits, because Sir will ask you "Are you sure you don't have limits" You must know that death or chopping off a finger is a limit.  Sir prefers SLAVES over submissives, but if you are submissive, make sure that you are leaning toward a slave... slave - Has no rights or responsibilities in how they are treated or what acts are performed on them. submissive - Has a say in what potentials do or how they act with them in such mandatory acts or sexual pleasures, but ultimately the DOMINANT has final say. So my question, Which one are you?

Day Four: Cold during the night... Get up!!! That's the sounds I heard this morning coming from Miss's voice. Last night the wood burner ran out of wood, and the temperature immediately dropped in the stove. Miss called me twice, as I do know that I need to get my eyes adjusted to the morning scenes...So I laid in bed for another 5 minutes, and then I heard again, GET UP!!! The voice from Miss seemed rather jolting, and I knew there was a problem that time. Miss went out first and I had met her outside. W/we spent part of the morning filling wood for the wood burner, so that way we wouldn't be cold throughout the day. Miss showed me how to keep an eye on the temperature of the wood stove, and how to fill the wood stove with small kindling before putting large logs in there. Miss left me alone today, as she had some other plans to do like going and gathering hay up two hours away from here, so I was left in charge of everything around the house. I like the fact that Miss leaves me in charge of things, as that shows my switch side of things. However I would never switch out on any role, unless Miss or Sir direct me to do so. Miss is a very busy person, so last night as we was watching the movie, I brought up to Miss about allowing me to do her Data Entry. I thought about it more when I went to bed, and I do like when I am awarded things like that :-) Before Miss went for the second load of hay for the horses, Miss gave me a direction to put all her receipts in order from Grocery shopping to non grocery shopping... So When Miss went away, I put all her grocery receipts, and non grocery receipts, in order... I felt good knowing that I am gaining more trust in myself, and that Miss has gained some trust in me as well. While Miss was away today, some person, name unknown came up to Miss's door while I was outside. I spotted him in a red car, that looked almost as a toy car would. The gentle man saw me and we conversed for a bit, and then he said... Is (Miss and Sirs name unmentioned in this journal). here and I said "they are out at the moment". He commences to say to me, that he stopped by to see if he could serve, or something of that nature. I was perplexed. as he asked me who I was, and I told him, I was a friend of the families, and someone who was watching the house.  Well when Miss got back from her running, I went and told Miss that someone was here, and she went and told Sir and Sir said that he invited many people to come over, because Sir and Miss are like "they will believe when they see it" type of people. So After all the conversation I had with Miss today, I did forget to mention that Sir called today, and he seems in a better mood today then yesterday. I asked him if we was great and he said "I'm dealing with assholes" but as Sir puts it.... He can be an asshole back... :-) I don't think I can be any happier right now about SERVING Miss and Sir. I have some mixed up emotional feelings, but I am sure its the newness of being able to serve in there presence. That's how today went, and when Miss got back, I asked her if I could have a break, because I have been working yet Hard again. She told me yes, I could have a break and that's why I am journaling now... More to come on Day 5 :-) sub will

Day Two and Three: Well this morning i woke up with a headache and a neck ache, right along with my poor tailbone in pain, from me falling fall down some steps. So today was a weird and uneventful day because one, it has rained and two, it was started off way wrong. Miss knows how much i like to play in the piles of wood that Sir has recently cut up. So Miss and i went on the ATV, to feed the horses, but while waiting for the horses to get done eating, W/we went and picked up some wood, to throw in the back of the trailer that the ATV is pulling. Well, Miss gave me a little bit of trust today, knowing i was wanting to run the ATV, yesterday... She allowed me to run it today, and i must say, it was very awesome :-) The things that i am learning from Miss is very effective for everyday life. I really hope that we can continue this bond, because its very different, but very exciting how one can adjust to what one has been accustomed too. Now the fun begins, as Miss and i were discussing "re-negotiating" As i had a friend that told me about this today. I didn't know that a sub could re negotiate a trial basis. Anyway, we were talking about it so i could clearly understand what was being told to me today. Soooo... after that talk we started watching a movie on Hallmark, called the "gifts of Christmas". A very interesting movie :-) Then finally after the movie was over, Miss went over to the dresser and pulled out some toys, as She first pulled out the "Black Dildo" that looked very appealing to me :-) Some other toys she pulled out, looked very painful, but i am curious to try those when Sir gets back :-) Now Miss is watching another movie, and just as W/we was talking about Sir "falling asleep" He called And now Miss is telling him about the things that She has showed me. I do hope that i will be good for them as their submissive, as that is a thing i have always been worried about. i have shared some things about my past to Miss about being "dumped" on the side of the road, after one is finished, and i don't believe that these people are like that one bit :-) ~Stay Tuned to Day Four~ sub will

Well, I have not been on here in a while, and that's because I have been doing other things. Do you remember the couple from Ohio that I told you all about, that I was going to meet??? Well I have finally made my way to them, and I must say that it has been a different experience for me. They both understand my limits, and they both understand that I am willing to be shared, as that has happened to me in the past. Miss is not much into the sexual aspect of life, but she does enjoy her feet washed, licked and sucked on. Miss is a little different then most people that has been in the lifestyle, She loves to see subs sweat, and when she means work... she means WORK!!! Miss and I have had several conversations leading up to other things that is in the lifestyle. Miss and I watched "fifty shades of grey" and we both agree that basically "it sucked". We had an intelligent conversation about the movie. Now just because I am here writing this journal entry, I am still on a trial basis, If in fact that it doesn't work out, then either Miss, or myself would find someone that deems appropriate for me. Now just because I said that, doesn't mean it wont work. There is a lot that goes into finding myself another dominant, if in fact that it went that way... Sir and I have in-fact conversed over the phone today. He is out on business right now, but tonight while on the phone, He seemed a bit cranky... and I can see why. Sir and I talked about some interesting things that I would enjoy, and come to find out, Sir seems to be a bit of an extremists, so as a sub, I am willing to explore of those with Sir. Sir has a demeanor of a playful and not so serious type of man, but he also has a dry sense of humor... Miss and I have been very busy.... Miss had me working outside the last couple days, and she showed me how to do things around the house. I help maintain the campgrounds that they run, and I do a very good job at it, I must say so myself. I find that any chance I get, I am outside picking up wood. I have learned the feeding schedule of the animals that's on the farm, and I find it quiet interesting that Miss and I will be riding horseback together one day. I have never rode a horse before, but I must say, that I am very excited. Now, Let me make this clear. Miss and Sir are not a pair of dominants that wear leather and whip you on a constant basis. If anyone seeks out Miss and Sir, just know there are other activities that may come up in training. If you cant hold a conversation, or always thinking about sex with them, and not want to work, then its probably not going to work out. sub Will

Even though I am a slave, I too have feelings until I meet the right one. I have been talking to a few potential DOMINANTS, this week. One from Ohio, and One from Washington. The One from Washington touches my heart every time we converse, but some things she wants I am nervous about. The couple from Ohio, also touches my heart, and I will be hopefully going to be meeting them via them picking me up rather soon, to serve them. However I am not done yet making my final decision on who I want to serve, as my OWNERS FOR LIFE!!

Gotta love these Black compressors!! They have the shape of big black cocks!! Just food for thought lol!! Guess I'm hungry for Bbc!!!

Working hard on third shift!! So that's why I'm not online a lot..also again..I'm not submitting to anyone on here in our first chat!!

take a look at my newly updated fakes on here.. I just updated it, as you may have to scroll down and look at the new additions.

Still taking applications for my Owner!! Have talked to a few individuals, but nothing set in stone!! Still message me, and please have some type of common bond with me. NO I AM NOT SUBMITTING TO OUR FIRST EMAIL!! I know the RED FLAGS!!

Knowings of a Sadist! Her fingers turn to talons, tearinghis hide to shreds, those ribbons of skin    turn to ash. Her pupils are flaring,blazing now with flames, darker than sin.Flesh clings to iron bones, grating rustmingled with the venom which oozesfrom her veins. She is vile, made from dust,appearing now in naked bruises.Loathsome plumes, caked in blood, glisteningin their rotten cherry sweetness, strainto a grim sky that's not listeningto her prey screaming, moaning in vain.Her peroxide skin and velvet eyesreveal not mercy or self-control,and through lips that drip with spite and liesShe smiles, speaks soft to that mortal soul,And tells him with her honeyed wordsof bitter death and dreams deferred.How my english professor didn't know I was a sadist is beyond me...

I am just going to say this... if you think i am going to submit to you on the first email exchange... well your sadly mistaken... with that said, i have been very busy, and i do have a life... so i do hope you understand that... i do have some very potential DOMINANTS that are speaking with me.. and if you continue to abuse this email exchange, i am sure they wouldn't mind speaking with you about how rude you are! This is your final warning!

This is from another potential Dominant that I am seeking out...Apparently my attitude is great with everyone I speak with :) None of those should be an issue, save the watersports.  It's not something I'm hugely into either but I'd like you to try to keep an open mind about that down the road after we've been together for a while.  Scat is a huge turn off so I do like you to be clean for anal play.  I do like my ass worshiped but only when I get out of the shower; I don't want your mouth dirty when it's sucking my cock after all.  Vomit is another huge turn off as would be licking a toilet; I could only see that as an extreme punishment if you'd failed to clean properly after multiple times but I don't see you doing that. You do have a wonderful attitude about things.  And it's nice that you could work from anywhere; that will help keep you from being a financial burden to the household. Any questions for me?

Pics are up, as you have to click on "view profile" and you can see them that way!

This is from the Dominant that i am speaking with on here... will not release her name quiet yet... until i am told :-) Again, I am very impressed with you.  I am very happy with your sincerity, and your ability to organize things in order to understand them better.  Well done.  It is very late here and I am going to bed now, but tomorrow, I will respond fully.  Just know that I am very pleased thus far with what I've seen. Do you have any pics?   I Want to see them asap, not that I'm worried about what you look like, because that doesn't matter.  I just like to know who I'm talking with.  Sometimes also, it helps me decide what direction I wish to go with a new slave.  I must tell you now, of all the slaves I've talked with lately, YOU MY DEAR, are quite possibly my favorite prospect.  As for swallowing my ashes, I understand.  Some of that is psychological and can be overcome, but do not worry, I will go slow.  It doesn't have to be your mouth anyway.  LOL. . I am definitely into smoke play, cigarette torture, etc.  SO, as long you understand where I go with that, and realize that I will definitely take it slow, and work you into what I want from you, but, expect to be used and abused.  I am a very serious domme.  Strict, Demanding, Sadistic and even Cruel.  How severe I get is up to you, as your behavior, respect and obedience play a major part in how you are treated. I look forward to a long and exciting future with you. . . slave. . . SO DON'T FUCKING DISAPPOINT ME, CUNT.  YES, I AM INTO EXTREME VERBAL ABUSE.. . .IT TURNS ME ON TREMENDOUSLY.

I love talking to a lot of people on here... but one person in particular caught my eye today when I opened up my messages. I am not naming any names.. yet.. because I don't want to jinx myself. The person I am talking about... well she is very informative when she speaks.. and knows how to read up on profiles before one messaging HER. I am still in the interviewing and talking phase, until next week, after that... I will have hopefully chosen my Dominant/Owner. On another note, I have been talking with some special people that I met on here. these people will always be my friends, regardless of where they are at. I do hope some of you that I talked find joy in finding yours! Also I am making a fake list, so please don't catch yourself on it ;) - RussianCandy115 - fake and a pay w/ a credit card dominant on another site! - TrueBDSMhome - Apparently wants someone to relocate right now, and also doesn't know how to read a profile! - flcouple4livein - fake and cant hold a conversation!  - Ricannc21 - 23 year old wanna be Dominant thinks that he can control you the first email you exchange with him. He thinks his pic of his dick is going to make someone submit to HIM.

I am back after a BIG hiatus.. only to find out how collarme when from collarme to collarspace Same thing, nothing changed.. so why change the name? Anyway, I am seeking out a strong dominant couple,transgender Dominant, or BBC Owner for 24/7 live in position.  The strong dominant couple must have a keen eye for knowing the lifestyle. Must be interested in transitioning me from male to female. Must always be open to communication and be very protective over me ;) Transgender dominant - I must say I am a very bad pansexual, and love cock...as much as I love pussy. Must be respectful in talking with me, and no I am not going to submit to you the first time we talk. BBC Owner - well that's self explanatory ;) hehehehe!

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