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Male Dominant, 50, Houston, Texas
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Male Dominant, 48, Seattle, Washington
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Male Dominant, 35, Phhiladelphia, Pennsylvania
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About SirReal
Hi. My name is John, aka SirReal on BDSM social sites, and Im an experienced leather lifestyle dominant living in north metro Atlanta.
About Me
I have been formally in the BDSM lifestyle community since 1996, but have been practicing BDSM on my own since 1974. I enjoy active participation in the Atlanta BDSM community, and I enjoy going to local events and venues in our community. For me, this is a lifestyle choice that I live all of the time. Its the dominance and submission in my daily life that I crave and desire. Being dominant for me is not a role that I play, its just who I am. However, as seriously as I take this lifestyle, I also have a good sense of humor and try to not take myself too seriously.
In addition to Ds, I also enjoy many aspects of sensual SM and fetish play. I have a creative mind with a voracious appetite for kink and sex play. I love trying out new things, and theres not much Im not willing to try at least once, especially with the right partner.
I ascribe to the knightly principles of chivalry such as bravery, truth, honor, integrity, courtesy, and gallantry. I pride myself on being a gentleman, and I practice the polite social protocols that are the foundational habits of being a gentleman.
My Style of Play
Im a sensual player when it comes to my practice of BDSM play. Consequently, while I am playfully sadistic from time to time, my style of play is more surreal than sadistic. For me, BDSM is much more mental than it is physical. In the end, its not brutality that will make you mine, but rather my ability to entice you into trusting me with total control over you.
I embrace being real in this lifestyle. Im not into false pedigrees, titles, or make-believe, and Im certainly not looking for webcam sex, online fantasy, or hook-ups. My interests are real-time, real-life, reality-based BDSM. With me, what you see is what you get. No games, no drama, no-nonsense.
My Style of Training
I am methodical in my training. With the right slave, someone intelligent and highly motivated to please me, training is generally quite easy. I prefer the use of positive motivation and loving encouragement to having to punish for misbehavior. However, if punishment is needed (and it shouldnt be), I have no problem facing that responsibility head-on. As a loving dominant, while I may sometimes be as cruel as circumstances require, I try very hard to never be mean or domineering.
My Vanilla Existence
To the vanilla world, I have a 1950s style household where I am married to a wonderful woman in an open poly marriage. We have been poly for many years as we raise our daughter together. In my work, I am a computer programmer working for a billion-dollar retail firm. Life is good.
I enjoy traveling, reading, hiking mountain trails, dancing, cooking, good food, intelligent conversations, watching great movies of all kinds, and spoiling our children, which includes two lovely cats and two beautiful German Shepherds. I root for Georgia Tech (my alma mater) and the Falcons, but other than that, I dont get too fanatical about sports. I am liberal in my outlook and as a demisexual, I have no interest in women who would fall for the latest Republican hypocrisy.
What Im Looking For
I have learned that my universe has a way of sending me what I need, and often, what I want (if my intentions are properly focused). So I tend to let what Im looking for find its way to me. If you think that might be you, then youre probably right. Trust your intuition and message me. At the least, we can be friends.
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My Philosophy On D/s Relationships
I am very serious about my practice of Dominance/submission (D/s). I enjoy training and mentoring others in the lifestyle, and I am constantly learning new things myself. I practice both public protocols and private protocols. Although I have a fondness for the traditions of the Old Guard protocols, I have an an avid interest and acceptance of other protocols as well. Since I am not a "purist", I incorporate different styles into my practices as I learn about them. I have a strong fascination in Japanese style rope bondage (Shibari) and in the Gorean philosophies of slavery and total acceptance of service to the Master. I also love the beauty of the Gorean slave positions and service styles. Victorian etiquette and Far Eastern Geisha traditions greatly interest me as well. If I had to be categorized, I would consider myself as "New Guard Leather", however I'm not much into putting labels on this lifestyle. I am an incorrigible romantic, and am very protective of those I love. I see no conflict with the concepts of romantic love, D/s slavery, and the lifetime ownership of my slaves.
My philosophical outlook on D/s centers around the concepts of respect, trust, love, and commitment. In my mind, these are the four corner stones of a serious long term D/s relationship. Respect is the first stone, without which there can be no learning about each other. With respect and time comes trust, the second stone. Both trust and respect must be present for total submission to be possible. How can a slave give herself totally if there isn't trust and respect in her Master? Love, the third corner stone, provides the desire to please and allows the Master control of his slave. Commitment, the fourth corner stone, gives life and maturity to the relationship. Commitment protects and nurtures the love, trust, and respect, and allows the relationship to grow and strengthen even in hard times. Respect, trust, love, and commitment -- to me, these are the corner stones that are the foundation of a D/s relationship.
In my view, submission is a precious gift, something that cannot be taken, only accepted. Likewise, my domination is my gift to my slave. One cannot exist without the other, each balancing with the other. My locked collar is a symbol of the submission my slave gives to me, the honor I feel in being her Master, and the love and commitment we feel towards one another in our exchange of power. That said, a collar is not a relationship anymore than a wedding band is a marriage. While the collar represents my ownership and her total submission to my will, it is my contractual agreement with my slave that is the true foundation of the relationship. For this gift to be true, there must be complete understanding of the nature of submission in a D/s relationship, and it must be fully consensual and agreed to. I do not ask that any girl enter into a contract with me, but instead I allow her to petition me for the contract when she is ready to accept it. It is always her choice to give me her submission. In my eyes, there is nothing in the world more beautiful or erotic than a slave's love and total submission to her Master.
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