This Dying Soul
[Lyrics by Mike Portnoy]

[IV. Reflections of Reality (Revisited)]

Hello, Mirror - so glad to see you my friend, it's been a while
Searching, Fearless - where do I begin to heal this wound of self-denial

Face yourself man!
Brace yourself and trace your hell back

You've been blinded, living lie a one way cold existence all the while
Now it's time to stare the problem right between the eyes you long lost child

I wanna feel your body breaking
Wanna feel your body breaking and shaking and left in the cold
I want to heal your conscience making a change to fix this dying soul

Born into this world a broken home
Surrounded by love yet all alone
Forced into a life that's split in two
A mother and a father both pulling you

Then you had to deal with loss and death
Everybody thinking they know best
Coping with this shit at such an age
Can only fill a kid with pain and rage

Family disease pumped through your blood
Never had the chance you thought you could
Running all the while with no escape
Turning all that pain in to blame and hate

Living on your own by twenty one
Not a single care and having fun
Consuming all the life in front of you
Burning out the fuse and smoking the residue

Possessive obsessions selfish childish games
Vengeful resentments
Passing all the blame
Living out a life of decadence
Acing without thought of consequence
Spreading all your lies from coast to coast
While spitting on the ones that matter most

Running power mad with no control
Fighting for the credit they once stole
No one can ever tell you what to do
Ruling other's lives while the can't stand the thought of you

A living reflection seen from miles away
A hopeless affliction having run astray

I wanna feel your body breaking
Wanna feel your body breaking and shaking and left in the cold
I want to heal your conscience making a change to fix this dying soul

Now that you can see all you have done
It's time to take that step into the kingdom
All your sins will only make you strong
And help you break right through the prison wall

[V. Release]

Come to me my friend (Listen to me)
I'll help this torture end (Help to set me free)
Let your ego go (I can't carry this load)
You can't go through this alone (I feel so hopeless and exposed)
You'll find your peace of mind (Give me some direction)
You can no longer hide (Break out of this isolation)
Let humility (Openness, honesty)
And become what you can be (A healing tranquility)

Help me
Save me
Heal me
I can't break out of this prison all alone

These tormenting ghosts of yesterday
Will vanish when exposed
You can't hold onto your secrets
They'll only send you back alone

Your fearless admissions
Will help expel your destructive obsessions
With my help I know you can
Be at one with God and man

Hear me
Believe me
Take me
I'm ready to break right through this prison wall

Dedicated to Bill W. and all of his friends

The Harmony Philosophy of Love Bondage

What is most discouraging about this business are the prevailing social misconceptions concerning bondage, at least the benevolent, romantic type of bondage that we produce. For the unenlightened, what we represent and advocate really needs to be clarified. In that spirit, the following general explantion is at least a start.

It has never been nor will it ever be our purpose to depict women as mere subordinates to men. These pictures and articles are not about that. The materials we produce are carefully and, we think, obviously designed for men and women to whom bondage is an important mutual diversion, a recreational and benevolent experience, a fantasy with a happy ending, a good-natured game in which everybody wins.

It is not the pleasure of our patrons nor our intention to offend or demean or abuse or exploit or disadvantage, be aggressive against, or cause even the slightest pain to our models, or to suggest that such is occurring to the ladies they are portraying. We do not characterize victims; we characterize lovers who are mutally exciting and pleasurable -- the bondage can be for the sake of sexual teasing or foreplay; or the acting out of a benign rescue fantasy with slightly juvenile undertones; or just the sweet and secret simple sharing of a very special physical intimacy between caring persons. Whichever of these it is, we have characterized it on our pages as "Love Bondage".

While we cannot police the motives and psyches of our customers, we can and do shape our materials for completely benevolent natures only -- either the adult who was imprinted during adolescence by the thrilling and heroic adventure story rescue of a bound and gagged and ultimately loving female, or the male or female adult whose basic nature identifies with the female in bondage and craves to personally experience those same offbeat sensations for either deeply psychological reasons, or, to state this in the simplest possible terms, because it actually feels good, safe and comforting even. He or she is wrapped tightly and snugly, there is a feeling of being protected, and the rope becomes a surrogate for the protective lover's arms. It is to please and satisfy those two natures, and they alone, that we create these visual fantasies.

Conversely, those persons in search of darker, less pleasant bondage themes must look elsewhere, for there is really nothing for them here. Our materials are just not for people who enjoy scenes of human mistreatment. If such people do show up on our mailing lists from time to time, they certainly have no reason to linger, since what they are seeking is probably the exact spiritual opposite of what we have to offer.

Good drama does not exist without conflict, and there will necessarily be the blending of bondage with actual danger in some of the text fiction that we publish. But these situations will be so obviously farfetched or tongue-in-cheek that they are clearly not to be taken any more seriously than a comparable paperback tale or television episode containing the same elements. But in all of the photos that we present, be they from contributors or our own associates, the woman is there willingly, even gladly, and for her own reasons. Were she not, we would not publish the picture.

Therefore, the bondage that is dramatized here is an essentially gentle act used by lovers to intensify their physical and spiritual closeness. She gets to belong utterly to someone she loves, and to be adored for what he perceives as the prettiness of her dependency on him. She has surrendered for him that part of her independence she doesn't want. They are fortune-blessed soulmates, theirs is completely a mutual act of trust, love, appreciation of themselves and each other. And the readers who look on perceive her bondage as physically and spiritually pleasing to her -- she knows that it has more to do with being wanted than abused. Were that not the case, we would ourselves be offended.

Our bondage has absolutely nothing to do with demeaning anyone. It is totally and utterly a bilateral activity, and, were it not, we wouldn't have anything to do with it.

Ode The Dragon

In a cavern

Dark and dreary

Lies a dragon

Old and weary

Scared by battles

Fought so fiercely

For his captives

Held so dearly

There within his house of stone

Where he's won

A place his own

There he lies until the end

Where he'll die

Without a friend

Dragon

Old Dragon

Where have all the captives gone?

The poor lost souls

Held in your bonds

Helped to escape

From harm forever more

Taken away by knights in armor

Your twilight lair

Now dark and lonely

 Life's last embers

Dying slowly

Dragon

Old Dragon

 
 C H Ellingsworth

Wisdom

Caught up in pursuit

We Strive to make it higher

We continue getting older

But somewhat none the wiser

Circumstances change

Another time, Some other place

While somehow we arrange

To make the same mistakes

Seen it all

Times before

Burning bridges to the past

Holding on to

Wanting more

Losing all we'd thought would last

When will we ever learn

WISDOM

If the battles that we choose

Are fought with cold indifference

What victories we win or lose

May never make a difference

It's the testing of our souls

In the struggles that we face

That defines our finish line

By the way we run the race

Vain and fleeting pleasures

Our possessions rest assured

All will vanish with the passing days

The only lasting treasures

Are the ones that can be measured

By the lessons of the wisdom we have gained

And what will be remembered

Is the love and faith we've shared

 Wishing Well

Come upon a wishing well

Start to pass

But who can tell

Take your hope

Those secret dreams

Silly thoughts

Foolish schemes

Make a wish

But only one

Throw a coin

Then hope it comes

But who can trust a wishing well

Time only knows

And time will tell

If wishes that you make come true

Or if they could or ever do

We take a chance each time we use

A Wishing Well

But what's to lose?

Then you stop

Think to yourself

What if all those dreams came true

All those hopes and silly schemes

Took a turn

All pulled through

All the ways that it would help

All those things that you could do

All those so fantastic things

That could be happening to you!

So when you pass this way again

What could it hurt

Who can tell

Stop to throw another coin

Onto that same old Wishing Well

C H Ellingsworth

atient Love

Fools rush in

Time and again

Where angels fear to tread

Winding up in wishing wells

With troubled waters over head

But if something dear

Is to endure

However strong love seems

We will often need to pause

To give some time to breathe

Going fast to finish last

Like the fabled hare

Never will and never has

Gotten true love anywhere

Like fine wine

When given time

Love will mellow

With nurtured care

To ripened savors

Sweet and rare

A subtle hand

A giving touch

A steady course

Coaxed easily

Will help to find

That in good time

That Love has grown

Quite Suddenly

Patience my Love

Be patient Love

 
  C H Ellingsworth

Infatuation

Fantasies fashioned

Of imagination

All of my own design

Moments of ecstasy

Teasing me

Constantly

Frolicking though my mind

I need to sigh

When you walk by

My heart beats double time

Is it only infatuation

An unrequited love

Can't control my own affection

You're the one I'm dreaming of

But I'm afraid of

That should I reveal my love

To you

I might find

That you're not inclined

Toward me

slightly romantically

At the present time

How can I tell you

I love you.

C H Ellingsworth

Ugly Duckling

Precious Child

Open up your sleepy eyes

All the secrets now unfolding

Loose their vague disguise

Sought for answers

Taking time now realize

Anticipation opens up

To ease your mind

Metamorphosis

Caterpillars learn to fly

That ever painful growing shows

Your patience didn't lie

The skies the limit

Now the moon is not too high

Spread your wings

Discover

What was meant for you to find

Inhibitions

Wasted time to learn to train

Those chances never taken

Nothing ventured

Nothing gained

No one ever prospered

While they chose to stay the same

But every swan's

An ugly duckling

Once upon a time

 
  C H Ellingsworth