I am often surprised by how little most women know about the sexual potential of their own bodies. The purpose of this article is to make women aware of all the possible ways they can achieve physical pleasure so they may fully enjoy sex. I believe knowledge is power and I hope more women will be sexually empowered with the knowledge. It is worth noting that very few women experience all these different type of orgasms.

Although I recognize that all women are unique and experience arousal differently, I am aware of eight different types of orgasms females can experience (based on where or how it is experienced by a woman) and the various combinations of these:

• Vaginal: Experienced during sexual intercourse or other. A rhythmical contraction of the uterus which forcefully pushes the cervix downwards to make it easier for sperm to enter the uterus.
• Clitoral: Experienced by the stimulation of the clitoris orally, manually or with the aid of a vibrator. Use of powerful wand vibrators over time can make the clit de-sensitized and can make achieving this type of orgasm much more difficult over time.
• G-spot/Squirting: Experienced by the stimulation of the G-spot & urethral sponge, usually resulting in the expulsion of a fluid (not urine) the skeins gland openings/tubes.
• Anal: Experienced during anal stimulation (rimming, butt plugs, anal beads) or anal intercourse
• Breast: Experienced purely by stimulation of the breasts and nipples. Refer to my earlier article on “Breast Worship: Seizing The Keys to the Kingdom”
• Full-body: A wave of orgasms that travels over the body usually as a result of multiple orgasms and extended period of stimulation without rest. This is also known as Extended Sexual Orgasm (ESO).
• Spanking: Experienced as direct result of a severe spanking session followed by aftercare by an intense emotional release.
• Mindgasm: An orgasm achieved without physical stimulation through the power of your imagination (wet dreams, phone sex, cybersex). Some women can be trained to “Cum-on-Command” using conditioning, hypnosis and mental arousal triggers.

Simple Tips That Help A Female Achieve Climax…

• Anticipation, Foreplay & Arousal - The mind is our largest sex organ. It need to be aroused for the body to respond. The longer the period of mental arousal and stimulation, the easier orgasm is to achieve – flirting, eye contact, dirty talk, caressing or breast worship all add to the unhurried process of arousing the mind and body of a woman. Refer to my earlier article “Pre-Foreplay: Arouse the Mind First, The Body Follows Eagerly”
• Emotional Bond - Never under-estimate the importance and power of deep emotional connection to a lover to enhance the physical response of the body. Refer to my previous article  ”Hierarchy of Female Emotional Needs for Wild Sex: Unleashing Her “Inner Vixen” (
• Trust & Intimacy: In order to feel emotionally safe while fully exposed and vulnerable during orgasm, you need to feel trust and intimacy with a partner. If you feel you will be betrayed for being so exposed, you will hold back which may make orgasms difficult to achieve. Refer to my previous article “Trust & Intimacy: How Exclusivity Makes Sex & Submission Hotter!” 
• Your Favourite Sex Fantasy - Having a specific fantasy which you can turn to during masturbation or during sex that arouses your mind intensely will make achieving orgasms much easier.
• Master Your Body - Be the master of your own orgasms and your body. You need to know all the various ways that your body likes to be aroused so you can be the guide for your partner.
• Masturbate Regularly - Maintaining the mind/body connection to achieve orgasms is critical or you will lose it. If you have lost that mind/body connect, practice can bring it back.
• A New Location or Different Environment - A B&B, A Hotel, On the boat – Being away from the kids, chores and bills allows the mind to be in the moment and not pre-occupied with worries. Stress kills the libido.
• Set The Mood - Music, candles, incense all set a romantic/erotic environment to allow the mind to relax and serves to arouse all the senses.
• Help With The Dishes - An exhausted woman has no energy for sex. A woman who feels appreciated also wants to please her partner in return.

Helping Anorgasmia – How Do You Achieve An Orgasm?
There are many women who cannot or struggle to experience satisfying orgasms of all kinds (Anorgasmia). As sexual women, how would you advise them to achieve satisfying orgasms? What are the mental and physical processes that you use to achieve orgasms?

Submission is not a gift...?Yes, a submissive may feel that submitting to her dominant is like giving him the precious gift of her will, of her, to command and to use. Especially since she will not submit to just anybody, but to that one, special person that has proven to be worthy of that gift.?Expanding on that line of thought, it follows then that the dominant worthy if her submission is gifting her with his dominance. Just like her attention and her submission is a gift, he is giving her his attention and care. He is trading safety and his trustworthiness for her compliancy and loyalty. It becomes a transaction.?There is nothing wrong with treating the mutual gifting of submission and dominance as a transaction.

The whole term Power Exchange implies a transaction of personal power. It is given and taken and given back in a feedback loop of sorts. The submissive gives her power to her dominant who becomes a prism through which both hers and his power are focused back on her.?Viewing submission as a gift actually makes a lot of sense, considering that the submissive can at any time withdraw her consent, her gift if you will, and the cascade-effect will cease. And this mechanism is often used to prove that submissive have much more power in relationships than they may think. If the submissive does not want to play, there simply is no play.?Yes, I am focusing purely on the forces within a consensual dominant and submissive interaction.

Co-dependency and domestic abuse can compel the stables and strongest minds to stay in diseased relationships. An abusive relationship is to a D/s relationship like rape is to making love.?Having said that, it bothers me to think that a magnificent submissive woman is somehow giving me a gift when she is really being the most true to herself. She has been brought up in a society that says that women who are submissive are weak and are betraying the ideals that have gone far, albeit not yet far enough, to give women equal respect and opportunities to those that men enjoy.?She has had to struggle against the stream to take ownership of her own desires; she has endured self-doubt and pain and possibly shame to get to the point where she can admit that she is submissive.

The journey of self-discovery has been hard on some and easier on others, but the large majority of submissive have had to travel that path. Her submission is hard-earned and she did not venture on that journey for anybody but herself. The fruits of her labor are hers to enjoy.
Some say that being submissive is a female survival strategy to ensure that her mate will stay with her by pleasing him and adding value to his everyday life. I do not have the requisite degrees to argue for or against that idea, but I cannot imagine that I am the only one who feels that when a woman submits to me, she is doing it for herself and not as a gift to me or as a bribe for my attention.?And that is exactly the way I want it. I cannot imagine it any other way.?It is so easy to get tangled up in defining submission in terms of acts that the submissive performs for her dominant, and acts that she submits to being performed on her by him.

But that is only what is visible on the surface. The dynamic in the relationship between a dominant and a submissive is much more complex than the acts performed and so are the motivations that drive a woman to submission.?Submission is a strategy, a tool if you will, to disconnect the submissive from her critical mind for a while, to gain respite when the buzzing of ideas and thoughts and to-dos becomes deafening and the act of making a simple decision becomes overwhelming because she cannot stop thinking of different outcomes and consequences, and cannot choose between them.?It is about not having to make decisions, even if only for a while. It is like donning an intellectual blindfold where the submissive trusts her dominant to lead her to her inner core, where she can open up and be vulnerable without having to struggle with her own doubts and insecurities. Submitting is a way to not even be able to displease simply because she is not allowed to.?Submission is a tactic to quiet the submissive’s mind. It is a vehicle to quiet the buzzing of thoughts and ideas swarming within her awareness.

That quieting is the moment of focus, the moment between heartbeats that the athlete waits for to make the jump, the moment of clarity that allows you to step on the bridge of suspended disbelief and to make it safely from here to there.?Through the intellectual blindfold of submission, her awareness descends into the darkness of her emotional womb and she find parts of herself that are warmer, more primal, more feminine, even. Submitting is not a feminine act in itself, but it is a path for a feminine being to connect with the elemental feminine deep inside, and that is what the draw is for many women. I imagine the same is more or less true for male submissives, although I confess I have not thought much on that side of the coin; I am too captivated by the elemental feminine.?

When a submissive’s dominant takes her wrist just so, and whispers in her ear just so, that is where it all becomes real. That is the key to surrender, to letting go, to release her critical mind like a balloon leaving a child’s hand, soaring up into the blue void. That is when she can melt and flow her emotions all over him, covering it all to perceive everything. And for a while not to think, to just be, to feel, to be all of the primal female that she is.?As much as submission is conveyed through acts and demeanor, deep down it is about how profoundly affected she is by him. It is about how they connect and how easily and completely she lets go in his presence. It is about together creating an emotional context in which she feels safe enough and supported enough to retreat into her body and be unconcerned with the external world.

To lose sight of everything else and focus all her attention inwards on how she is affected by him.?It is not some cockamamie dominant fantasy about the submissive focusing solely on his pleasure. No, she enjoys his use of her but her attention is on herself. Her view of him is through the effects he has on her. Just like you cannot see the wind but through the rustling of the leaves on the trees, she experiences his touch through ripples of the pond of her awareness and body.?

That is what submission is about; it is about experiencing and feeling. It is about the submissive diving deep into herself to connect with her inner radiant core. It is not about forgetting herself or her needs or diminishing herself; good heavens, no. It is about celebrating what she is and what she is capable of so strongly and deeply that she cannot be burdened by simple things like thinking or making decisions or worrying about where to go from here.?It is about her taking her dominant’s hand and letting him guide her through experiences and feelings too profound to walk the path by herself.

And while he is focused on leading her and guiding her and ensuring her safety, she rewards him and connects with him by narrating her journey through her reactions, through her responsiveness, through the grace with which she follows.?He is leading so that she can follow and focus on her feelings and everything she can possibly experience. She delegates responsibility of her body and her mind to him so that her heart and her soul can take flight.?No matter how romantic the notion, submission is not a gift. It is an expression of a capacity for deep inner beauty and the strength and courage and willingness to be open and vulnerable. It is a way to achieve an unprecedented level of connection and intimacy with another human being who is not your opposite but your perfect complement.

1. I will accept the responsibility of discovering what pleases my master, and will do my best to fulfill his wishes and desires.

2. I will communicate with complete honesty my needs, desires, limits and experiences. I realize that failing to do so will prevent my master and I from having the best possible experiences and could also lead to physical and emotional harm.

3. I will be responsive to my master. I will not hide what my mind and body are feeling so that I may assist my master in his responsibilities as my authority. I know my master is not telepathic. I will not expect my master to know my thoughts and feelings which I do not share.

4. I will only give my gift of submission to my master or to anyone my master gives permission to top me.

5. I will not try to manipulate my master. I will not push to make a scene go the way I feel it should. I will not top from the bottom.

6. I will be obedient to my master even if I disagree with what he is requesting. I realize that he has my best interests at heart and knows better than I what I need.

7. I will keep an open mind about trying things that I am not comfortable with and expanding my limits. I realize that my needs and limits will change as I continue to grow and develop as a good submissive.

8. I will accept the responsibility of a scene or relationship gone bad. I realize that it will be my fault.

9. I know that D/s is not a contest and will never think of myself as a “better” submissive because I choose to submit on a different level than others.

10. I know that my actions reflect upon my master and I will do my best to help others see him in a positive way. I will not intentionally embarrass or displease my master.

11. I will be courteous to my fellow submissives. I will share my knowledge and experience with others and hope they will learn from where I have been. I will help those new to the scene start out on the right path to help our community.

12. Above all, I will wear my title of submissive with honor. I will never cause others to think that being a submissive means being weak or sub-human. I will take pride in who and what I am and will never show myself in a negative way.

The Endorphin Levels in BDSM - a short primer on sending a submissive into hyperspace

Although everyone into the BDSM scene has heard of endorphins, actually very, very few people really understand what they are, how they work, what the "high" is all about and how one can correctly induce the body to produce them. This short primer will answer those questions, and serve as a guide for anyone topping another so that they may successfully send their bottom into a very deep endorphin stupor! (Also known as leaving them in a big puddle of quivering ecstasy!)

The endorphin high is caused by a bunch of natural, morphine-like chemicals the body pumps into your brain to reduce your sensitivity to pain (thus raising your pain threshold.) The fact that the body seems to release these endorphins in measured 'loads' is a key to understanding how to 'play' the body to produce these 'loads' and 'release' them into the body and brain region when the 'load' is ready. One has to keep in mind that another chemical – adrenalin – is also produced by the body in reaction to pain, and its behavior should be understood also. This is covered later more thoroughly in the section at the end on aftercare – which is a VERY essential element in guaranteeing the success of the effort, as you will see.

The endorphin 'loads' as they are available in the body are released in their entirety, and after a 'load' is released, it takes the body about ten minutes to generate the chemicals for another one. After the body has been induced to release (or 'inject') a 'load' into the system, you must then continue stimulating the body for at least ten minutes in some manner before the body will be ready to release another one. This stimulation can be just about anything – sensation play, light paddling or flogging, light caning, etc. – and it does not have to be intense or even nearly match the intensity of stimulation that had caused the release of the last 'load.'

Once prepared, an increase in stimulation over a five minute span up to a measured 'climax' will trigger the body to release the freshly prepared 'load' (based upon the submissive's current pain threshold, "measured" to push them over a new edge.)

So, armed with this information, what does a session look like from the top's and bottom's point of view? This should break it down for you.

When a scene first starts, there are no endorphins in the submissive, and even fairly light torment is very stingy, ouchy, and, well, painful! There is an endorphin reserve already in place that is awaiting release into one's body in case of an emergency, and after just a few minutes of even relatively mild stimulation building to a mild climax, this reserve 'load' is released, and suddenly the pain threshold clearly rises and the subject can easily tolerate what earlier may have been pushing their limits, making them jump around and squirm, for instance. This new, more pain tolerant state is Level One. There is no altered state of consciousness yet – but there is an increased pain threshold.

Once this has happened, for the top it's basically just about treading water for ten minutes and doing anything that provides relatively light but constant stimulation to induce the bottom's body to prepare/create their next 'load' for release. This is a good time for sensation play, or light paddling, flogging or whipping – and since the only requirement is that it remain fairly constant stimulation, it is a chance for the top to relax for a bit, since the stimulation can be very mild and be easy and relaxing to apply during this time.

Once the ten minutes has passed, a build in intensity over a subsequent five minute period will excite the body to a peak, and a sudden 10–15 seconds or so of intense stimulation just beyond the person's current pain threshold limit will trigger the body to eject its freshly made, current load into the bloodstream. Now the bottom will be at Level Two – with still no perceivable altered state of consciousness (beyond panting in relief that you, the top, have ceased with the intense bit!), but there is a considerable and noticeable leap in pain threshold now.

Following this, again, ten minutes of mild, easy stimulation to provoke the body into generating the next load as quickly as possible. Keep this well below the pain threshold you've now created, with just a little intense whack, etc. every so often, about a minute apart. This will keep the adrenalin build up to a minimum, for reasons explained later on. Take it easy, tops, relax, rest that arm and wrist a bit! Then, this relaxing ten minutes is followed with five minutes of building the intensity again to well above the previous level, as the bottom's pain threshold is pretty high already now and they can take a lot more before the body interprets this as being 'in crisis' and thus triggers the endorphins' release. Finished off with 10–15 seconds (up to a minute) of a real intense, over the edge push, and the body will inject that next load.

Now at Level Three, the bottom will definitely feel a little bit 'woozy' — exhibiting a "mildly drugged" state. Their eyelids should become heavier seeming, and they will fall into a more relaxed condition than before, with more low moans and groans, and with their inhibitions becoming more relaxed. Again, applying ten minutes of any relatively mild stimulation (don't have to work hard, tops!), followed by a five minute build to a 10–15 second intense climax now that is WELL beyond the previous one, will result in the next endorphin "load" being released to push the bottom into a very nice Level Four head space.

At this Level Four state, there will be a very definite altered state of consciousness in evidence, and the bottom will feel clearly drugged and will be very compliant and submissive now. This is countered, however, by the largest charges of adrenalin they have received so far (from the intense climax just used to push them over this "edge"), so they are still quite communicative and their reaction time is still quick (even hypersensitive – a small whack with a paddle, cane or whip can now generate a huge amount of twitching or jerking of the subject's body with certain bottoms.) Now, during the ten minute 'treading water' period for the top, the moans and groans will be longer and deeper, the body often limp in it's restraints, and the reactions to the occasional harder 'strikes' will be obvious and even somewhat amplified. This is the tops finest time – they can still relax and obviously not be exerting themselves very hard, yet produce fine moans of ecstasy from their bottom with hardly any provocation! The pain threshold is high, even if the reaction time is increased due to the adrenalin, so harder occasional strikes are welcomed, and the reactions are certainly encouraging!

After this ten minute "endorphin replenishment" period, now it is important to be very sensitive to the limit levels crossed earlier, as you begin that five minute build in intensity that will end in the most intense limit pushing you might do with the bottom for this session (if you are stopping at level five). The bottom will have a very high pain threshold at this time, but also will be fairly groggy (in spite of the adrenalin-fueled reaction times) and less able to communicate their safe word – in fact, will now be so compliant that it is very UNLIKELY that they would use it even if they should do so! So, push this "grand finale" with finesse and sensitivity to what is going on with your bottom! At the other end of the 10–30 second climactic build in intensity – in a wonderful blast – this latest endorphin load will push the bottom into Level Five: a state of supreme ecstasy, docility, and the ability to take just about anything you could throw at them. They will become very limp and relaxed very suddenly – and be very clearly in an altered state of consciousness now.

This is the point most people end the scene and remove the bottom to cloak them in a blanket and begin the all-important aftercare ... and unless you know your bottom extremely well, this is where the session should end. However, for those in that category of knowing their bottom's limits and abilities quite well, the rules and timing are the same as with the earlier segments. Now, your 'mild' stimulation could be fairly intense if you wanted it to be, and the bottom will become extremely submissive – and receptive – and accepting of any amount of stimulation you could lay on them. This is a dangerous condition, because there is NO WAY a person will utter a safe word in this condition – they can barely talk at all! So, it is best to keep the stimulation relatively intense but not too too (Note: the stronger intensity applied now will hold up the adrenalin levels, and the combination with the elevated endorphins levels creates a condition of intense excitement and of simultaneously intense ecstatic relaxation for the bottom, so they'll be into receiving whatever is being doled out. More on adrenalin in a minute, though!) Again, finish off after the ten minutes with a building in intensity to one beyond that reached earlier, with a 10–15 second extreme point, and the next 'load' will be released. So, now we have brought the bottom to a very amazing Level Six! (But, again, this should only be attempted with a bottom whose limits and abilities are already very well known! The top is working without the benefit of safe words being utterable, in most cases by this time, so care must be exercised this whole while.)

With all the adrenalin now in the body – as well as the complete release of inhibitions from the heavy dosing of endorphins now in their brain – behavior of the bottom can become unpredictable at this point, and you should be prepared to restrain against some wild thrashing and arm flailing that could take place (at least be out of harm's way!) The person/bottom is going to be in such an intensely altered state of consciousness now that their reactions could possibly be of an extremely primitive nature, and they may be capable of only 'animal-like' noises and reactions, and no or very little recognizable speech. So, watch out! Following this reasoning, approach the subject as you would a wild animal – very gently, talking soothingly and gesturing in a calming manner. Be prepared for sudden wild jerking, or seeming attempts to 'get away.' And don't take it personally! At Level Six, this person is totally ga-ga! Be assured, they are enjoying every millisecond of this experience! And a very long period of dreaminess is now in store for them – if their aftercare is handled properly!

So, why do I go on and on about the aftercare? The work of putting endorphins into the subject's body is finished, right? Well, yes, but you have also succeeded in putting very, very large amounts of adrenalin into their system, and adrenalin is tricky stuff. Even at Level Four, aftercare is important now because of they way adrenalin burns off – it burns off very quickly – compared to endorphins, which burn off very slowly. At Level Five or Level Six, there is enough adrenalin in the body that it will take 10 to 20 minutes for it to burn off (even up to half an hour!), and during this time, the bottom very likely will experience a number of adrenalin 'crashes' (similar in a way to coffee jags), and some of these can be very intense — and even quite frightening! They will need to be kept warm and be held and comforted AT LEAST throughout this period of adrenalin burn-off. My feeling is that if you don't care enough for the bottom to enjoy cuddling and caressing with them for up to half an hour, you probably shouldn't be taking them to any Level Six endorphin/adrenalin levels! (Or even perhaps to a Level Four!)

This adrenalin "crash" experience for the bottom is something many, many tops are unaware of, and they have no concept of the amount of harm they could be doing to someone's psychological state by not performing adequate, loving, fondling and comforting aftercare during this time. All the bottom needs now is to be held and to hold you (or whoever you assign to perform aftercare) back – in order to be comforted by your presence, and to be allowed to make you become the entire focus of their awareness. No stroking, or massage, or other stimulus is needed or even desirable at this time. What is important is to keep in verbal contact with the bottom (not requiring words as responses, merely nods), instructing them every little while to relax. The adrenalin will have them in a very agitated state – high heart beat and breathing levels, etc. – and this situation is completely counter to the endorphin experience.Sure, they have a ton of endorphins in their system, but the adrenalin is presently holding them off from experiencing the full effect of them. The top's guidance is extremely important at this time to help them relax through the adrenalin burn-off period.

The important thing to realize is that, if not actually 'talked down' out of the adrenalin agitation, the person could easily never allow themselves to relax enough to even feel the massive content of endorphins that currently exist in their system! (Maybe you've all seen the bottom who, after 45 minutes to an hour of intense stimulation to the point of near-total collapse on the cross or bench, is released and – after a mere couple of minutes – is just mingling around and talking and mixing with people as if nothing ever happened. These people are floating on a self sustained adrenalin buzz. This not only is likely to be unhealthy, but these bottoms are cheating themselves out of a long, long stretch of total endorphin-induced ecstasy!)

Step-By-Step Aftercare Instructions

So, while gently holding the bottom and letting them hold you back, coo softly and comfort them, and tell them to go ahead and to let themselves relax. You will feel them do so as they comply to your wishes, as they are quite docile and compliant to receiving instructions at this point. But they will also slowly tense up again from the adrenalin. Keep reminding them to relax, telling them to give themselves permission to relax totally. As they begin to succeed at doing this after a while, some will encounter a frightening feeling, which some describe feeling as if 'falling off a cliff,' and they will tense up a great deal from fright in that event. Or, they might encounter a feeling of intense 'blackness' (as the endorphins get a chance to relax even their optic nerve) and they will freak out and pull back from relaxing again.

If they report such experiences (or even before they do) tell them not to fear that, but to let it go and pass through it – telling them to relax themselves through the sensation of falling or blackness with the understanding that this is quite normal and is a common experience. Once they do that, having learned to "relax through it", they will be "in it" after that point, and will begin to relax very deeply, very often seeing colors and beautiful technicolor visions and dreamlike landscapes, spaces and places. How sweet!

Once this happens (which, again, will take at least 10 minutes — and up to a half hour for some, depending on the amount of adrenalin that they must burn off), then your bottom needs only a little more loving attention, and can then be left bundled in a blanket somewhere on their own to float in a happy bubble, very possibly for hours!

Tops should be mindful of the fact that if they had intended to have sexual play with their bottom, they should probably fit that in around level three or four, for after hitting level five, their bottom may be too floaty to be able to concentrate for long on what they are doing. Then again, that can sometimes result in extremely passionate and inhibition-free indulgence, resulting in heights of ecstasy and orgasm never before experienced. But, if your bottom drifts out on you or loses their erection, don't say I didn't warn you! There's no telling which way they will go at level 5 or 6!

"Flying"

There is another factor that can produce an altered state of consciousness FAR FAR beyond even that of the most extreme endorphin experience. This is experienced by submissives whose intense focus upon their Master or Mistress (their Dominant) – and upon pleasing them – eventually leads to a hallucinogenic kind of altered state known commonly in the BDSM community as "flying," having an almost mythological aura surrounding the word by now, though for very good reasons! It is probably the most profound experience one can have as a submissive. It involves a state of intense devotion towards the dominant (who is not just a mere "top" at this point!) that borders upon religious worship, with complete trust and a total commitment to please and satisfy them thoroughly. Through the attainment of a complete selflessness and focus on the dominant, a transformation takes place that is very, very deep, almost trance-like.It can become so profound as to produce an extended, hallucinogenic state that is very wonderful and blissful. Many have reported even seeing visions under the spell of this "flying" effect. All have attested to the profound sense of peace and bliss they have experienced while even near the "edge" of this state.

This "flying" state can be attained by some with very little endorphin content in their system (some say even with none, but I'm quite certain most folks have attained at least a level Three or Level Four endorphin high in order to trigger the total release of inhibitions which this psychological state seems to require, at least generally speaking.) With practice, the release into this "flying" submissive-space should come easier and easier, eventually with even a mere suggestion being able to trigger the effect for some with very little or even no endorphin content being in the picture. COMBINED with the level 5 or 6 endorphin head space, there likely can be no deeper state of ecstasy possible for the bottom — short of total enlightenment! Until such an experience of full enlightenment can be accomplished, perhaps the attainment of this interim bliss is quite acceptable, and certainly should be considered an attractive and enjoyable state to be in! The secret ingredients are intense focus; a commitment to please the dominant utterly; and complete and total devotion! These ingredients – with some endorphins in the mix – should produce a quite satisfying effect for both the submissive and the dominant!