simianiodine

she skipped down the path
a basket full of flowers
happy with the warmth of the sun

she skipped down the path
falling into a hole along the way
landing with a thump
her basket landing on her head looking like a weaved wooden helmet of war
flowers falling lightly around

she pouted for a moment then stood
brushed her little dress off
took off the basket from her head
gently placing her flowers back in

squinting her eyes she looked into the dark
shrugging her shoulders she sighed

she skipped down the path
a basket full of flowers
happy with the coolness of the dark
rubbing her bruise through her dress

you look so sweet and pure in that color
rust suits you

i really do love the combination of your flesh tones and the rust . . . how the condensation collects and flows

it’s picture perfect how the rust drips down and combines with your sweat

soothing to the eyes i think . . . don’t you?

like a small river starting and as it continues to move down your skin it creates thin wet tributaries

rust flows from dark heavy burnt orange and browns to shallow mud greys and then clear

god . . . i do love how rust looks on your flesh

if i slapped you
would you smile

if i kept a soft hand
would you respect

if i humiliated you
would you purr

if i smiled and let you be
would you adore

if i left no mark
would you run

if i asked
would you stay

if i made you a queen
would you rule

if i had no chain
would you seek thread

if i gave no structure
would you seek shelter

if i ignored
would you cry

if we were equals
would you respond

if i stared in your eyes
what would i find

My mind plucks pulls and strums on the wires that connect me to this life.

Is this who I am?

The nature of my self would say... yes.

The social of my self would want to question it.

The truth of my self is mixed within both.

Giving me the ability to have all of my self explore the worlds they create.

Time to take a break from the cement and do a few comp. graphic things. Will probably put up some pics of my cement pieces i have been doing.

As of late have been concentrating on my creative side of hand made cement decor...leaving little time for my computer graphic or writing endeavors.

Still in search of the imperfect perfection that is she. The one to explore my dark and light in life and art with.

She sat in her bedroom by the open window. The first

full moon of spring rising slowly over the canopy

of oak trees in her backyard.

The moons soft glow dancing through the trees

branches brought a soft sigh and faint smile to her lips.

Revealing small dimples at her cheeks that were

hidden moments ago.

Folding her arms she rested them upon the sill

and lay her chin on.

Watching thin sheets of clouds roll past the moon

she closed her eyes.

Thoughts wandered to her nights of sleep

and dreams. Dreams that once confused her a few months ago

now felt like a new other world.

She looked forward now to her sleep. A dream world

of escape, hope and desire. To her it felt like

a book being written with a new chapter

unfolding each night.

Though she felt she was in control during her slumber

there was an odd feeling of someone else as the

dreams chapters unfolded.

As if there were someone unknown helping to guide the pen.

A hidden collaborator.

She did not feel afraid of what popped into her

dreams at times. More so a feeling of excitement to see

what was just beyond the last sentence she felt

she had written.

It was almost midnight...the time of night

she set aside to to visit her other world.

Opening her eyes she smiled and winked at the moon.

Leaned back in her chair and stretched her arms wide.

She stood and set her chair back at the foot of her bed.

She pulled her blanket down and lowered the window

enough to allow the cool wind to dance

across her drawn curtains.

As she nestled into her bed she watched the wind against

the curtains and the faint light of the moon dim

in and out.

It was time to sleep... to welcome her dreams and

a new chapter to unfold tonight.

Would she be the sole author of tonight's tale?

Or would the hidden one add pen to dream as well.

                                         to be continued...

 KILLING JOKE

INVOCATION

SET TO ... FELIX THE CAT... CARTOON

KILLING JOKE/NIN/RASPUTINA/DEAD KENNEDYS/FEAR/BIG BLACK/MANSON

CABARET VOLTAIRE/VIOLENT FEMMES/CLASH/POGUES/FLIPPER

... AND SO MANY OTHERS

OLD PUNKS NEVER DIE... WE JUST GET PINNED TO ANOTHER JACKET

she ran she jumped and played in the fields
she even climbed the trees still wearing her gothic industrial 4 inch heeled boots

the grass seemed so grassy
the woods so woodsy
the sun so sunny
the world just seemed so worldy
and all seemed just perfect....until

from over the hills and across the valley
the wind blew cold angry clouds grey and billowy

so heavy they looked full and bloated
its a wonder they could move through the air at all
but swiftly they moved and gathered together
turning blue sunny skies into nasty to be foul weather

she jumped from a tree where she sat all smiles
looked to her east west north and south
then sat with a thump on her plump rump and started to frown

....oh where did my beautiful day go
my dancing green grass
my bright sunshiny sun
my merry flower filled fields
my fluffy white clouded sky....
so sad did she feel she started to cry

just under foot a few yards away
a little brown field mouse was on his homebound way
he knew rain was coming to dampen his day

he stopped his journey to try and comfort the girl
to pass on some wisdom he was given by his cousin the red squirrel

quickly he scurried up a small stone
to gain viewed vantage beside where now the girl lay sprawled and prone

he cleared his throat and brushed down his coat and bowed politely and then spoke

the sad girl leaned up and wiped her eyes
and listened to this creature speaking so wise
she sat quiet and still and took in all he said

hearing his words so wise and so true
she thought to herself of what she would do
.... so wise of words you have spoken brown mouse and makes perfect sense i should return to my house
but before i go i have some wisdom to share as well....

and with one quick lift of her foot
she smashed the brown mouse into mush on the stone where he stood


moral: never preach about life to a girl in gothic industrial 4 inch heeled boots

- distilled -

she felt as if she was being drained
like being pulled through tight meshed filters
trying to leech out her impurities

the clay and mud of her being robbed
pressed into a mold without life

her base minerals that made her life spark
seperated and withdrawn
distilled and turned into vapor

no matter how dilluted they made her
she managed to pull herself back together
all of the impurity mud and clay
knowing they would keep trying
trying to make her pure
clean enough to fit the mold

they have tried all her life to cleanse her
to create something bland and tasteless
artificial flavors and colors
cheap and marketable

it hurt her so much each time
always losing herself atom by atom
feeling like she was becoming nothing

it was this purification through pain
that made her stronger
the will to gather back what they cleaned

please...come in
just give me a moment to look over your application

well, most are accepted.... in general i have a high rate of client success

oh no need to worry...just taking some notes down beside some of your

questions you answered

no...no, looks pretty good from what i see
you answered all the questions.... signed and had witnessed the agreement
all seems in order

i just like to go over a clients answers a few times...before i move ahead

with the procedure

yes, this has become the more common path clients decide to take

ahh, yes.... most clients are happy about the outcome
but there are those few who are negative to the outcome at the start
but after healing they understand it was for the best

oh no...no need to apologize
one should always ask questions before a treatment like this

you may go ahead and disrobe now... you may use the curtain if you wish

just place your clothing and other items on the table next to you

yes, it is a little chilly in here...but it is for your benefit
youll feel warmer once we start
the human mechanic kicks in and starts to regulate your core temperature

yes the room is somewhat stark...i have found it helps my clients concentrate

ok... let me just check your pulse rate and a quick look at your eyes

oh no, its very normal for a client to be nervous
your pulse is higher of course but within the standard area for this treatment

oh...if you look over my left shoulder and also to your right and left...you will

notice in the upper corners of this room 3 small cameras

yes, they are documenting the procedure and also to make sure you are

alright as we go along
on page 4 of your application... yes typical safety regulations and privacy measures

ok...looks like we are ready to begin
just relax and take 3 steps backward

im just going to push this button to bring down the restraints now

raise your arms a little higher please...thats good
ok im just going to fit these snug around your wrists
not too tight is it...you can feel your fingers and not binding into your skin....

good,good

now if you would please space your legs a little more apart...just to the

inside of those black marks on the floor

ok, good...now another button to bring up the leg restraints
no...just relax and stand on the flat of your feet...there thats better
not too tight or binding into your ankles
good,good...all done now

alright then...seems all is ready
i am just going to put on my gloves and we can begin

yes,thats a normal reaction from your body...im sure you know that....shaking

is just a release of nerves

ok....in a moment i will be turning off the overhead lights

to view your body through these

yes, they allow me to see things on your body that

are somewhat harder to see with the naked eye

turning lights off now...youll see little red lights on the cameras still, to let you

know they are still working and they have the ability to also record clearly in the dark

hmmm... you do seem to have a few more areas that can be worked on
yes...would be very hard for you to notice them

im just going to mark them right now...youll feel a slight wetness from the marker

im using

lift your head back please

ok, thats done...close your eyes please
im going to turn on the lights and dont want you to see spots

ok, just relax a moment and let the light filter through your eyelids and when you

are comfortable you may open them

of course, feel free to look at any areas i have marked around.....

yes i would say in total about 23

oh no...its all covered under the same application and cost

there are at least 10 on your back area and five on your neck that you cannot see...

but all easily fixed

let me just check the paperwork once more and also write down these others i have found

ok...looks like a total of 52
hehe...no generally as of late the average has been near that

with what you already know exists and was charted from earlier visits here and these i have just wrote down.... this should take perhaps 1 to 2 hours

now if your ready to begin, please just state verbally you are in agreement and wish to continue the procedure....this will be recorded also via the cameras as a binding onto the existing application

you will hear a short buzz in the room to let me know it has been recorded and to also let you know this is being recorded


ahh...there we go...time to start

seems i will only need this one instrument to release all these trophies you have acquired through your short period of services

im still amazed at how many of my clients think that dominants are the true trophy hunters

ok, lets clear out all this mess you have collected and see what we have left

she tiptoed as quiet as she could down the dark hallway
trying to breath as slow and softly as possible

holding a hand out in front of her she squinted her eyes peering in the darkness as she moved along

a thin faint light glowed a soft warm yellow marking the bottom of a doorway ahead

a gust of air swept up under the the door causing it to shift against the door frame

the sound of wood and metal echoed down the hall towards her and she froze

like a statue in mid step grasping for something unseen she stood there holding her breath keeping her eyes closed

she strained to hear for movement behind
her heart racing thinking it would burst out her chest

after a few more moments she shifted her stance and resumed her walk

close now to the doorway she could feel the soft cool air pushing up under the wood and between the concrete beneath her feet

dust floated and danced around in the warm yellow glow as she slowly knelt to the floor

with knees to the concrete she lay to her side feeling its coolness on her naked hip

her hands palm down slid to the crack of light
she pressed her cheek against the floor as the yellow glow washed over her left eye

she blinked several times adjusting and trying to focus on something just underneath the opposite side of the door

as she lay there her body relaxed and her breath had slowed down
her eye moved as if she were watching something enticing

the iris growing and shrinking with each trek from left to right and now her breathing could be heard soft slow and deep

a distant sound seemed to sweep along behind the door where she quietly strained to watch

low and rhythmic it was trance like to her
soon her breathing seemed to stay in pace with
music like sounds

up and down in and out
up and down in and out

she mover her hands to lightly touch her side of the door

it felt as if the door were breathing with her as the music traveled over and through the dense wood

she closed her eyes and listened as she moved her hands over the old door

she lay there touching and moving her hands over the door as if she were touching a lover

the mixture of it all coming together as one
the coolness of the stone on her naked flesh where she lay

the soft wind over her face and shoulders
as it swept under the bottom of the old door
the soothing warm yellow glow of light that caught her eye and cheek

she felt happy and safe
she knew that on the other side of the door she lay near

moving about in the warm light and low pulsing music... was the one

the one that put her on the dark side of the doorway
the one who released her body to bare
the one who made her breath gulp fast to catch and slow to a crawl

the one that she felt captured by while feeling she was truly free

she needed the door
for what it kept in and what it kept out

the band of connection
paper
twine
cloth
leather
chain
solid