Nothing to rant :) Live is good, job is good, weather could be better, but some things are taken just as they are.

Same with most people :)

Romance scammer are the very worst of all kind of people. They make it very tough to recognize the few pearls.

look at that....identified another scammer.

careful of someone called Penaryel Moral from Cote d ivoire.

happy new year 2014!

May the blessings of the world shine on you.

be a friend, not just a lover.

Yes, i have standards. So have you. Dont expect mine to be ridiculous, but dont expect neither i would accept such.

Some seek so called alphas - and have no idea what that actually means.

Just a hint, fellows:

If a girl (dont dare to call that woman) puts a lot of emphasis on "financial domination", it means usually "Paid whore" . Dont let them fool you, many are just seeking an easy way out of a miserable situation and see you just as a tool. Dont expect there any kind of commitment or feelings, buddies.

got a bunch of books....study time.

Part of my efforts to gain a new bachelor. I dont need it, but i thought its fun.

Job going good so far. Prolonged for at least 9 more months.

If nothing goes wrong, i am then again back to middle class and close to the low end of upper class, with a stable job for the rest of my life.

I really cant complain.

Got a new and good job!

Woohoo!

Some dominant women are precious beings and wonderful persons.

Some dominant woman are not dominant, but have illusions.

And some so called dominant women are nothing short than parasites of this planet and justify it by calling themselves dominant.

This truth is build like a pyramid, with the small side on top.

- Source unknown

a very good looking woman approaches a man on the street and says "that's a very nice watch your wearing" .....of course the man is striken by her beauty and says "thank you very much , it's a very special watch indeed" .....she asks "what makes it so special" and he answers "i can ask this watch ANYTHING i want and it will answer me telepathically"

the woman of course does not believe this at all and so the man says "I'll prove it to you .......I'll ask it if you are wearing panties right now"

so he asks the question , closes his eyes and looks up as if listening CAREFULLY to the answer .......a moment later he opens his eyes and says "it told me no , you are not wearing panties" ....the woman says i knew it was a lie , I AM wearing panties .......the man answers "DAMN , it's still an hour fast"

John and Jane are two strangers that , quite by accident , met on a train when they were assigned to the same sleeping car.
It was late at night and the train's staff assured them that there was no other room available since everyone else was already asleep. After a few more awkward moments , Jane and John finally settle in to get some sleep . Jane on the top bunk and John underneath.
A few hours later , Jane wakes up and sheepishly leans her head over the rail and says "Excuse me , I hate to wake you up , but I am AWFULLY chilly and was wondering if you possibly pass me an extra blanket"
John says:" I have a better idea. Why don't we play like we are married?"
Jane readily agrees to this idea saying :" yes , ok , let's do that"
"Good," John answers her back,"get your own damn blanket"

Quantas Gripe-Sheets
>
>After every flight, Quantas pilots fill out a form, called a "gripe
sheet,"
>which tells mechanics about problems with the aircraft. The mechanics
>correct the problems; document their repairs on the form, and then
pilots
>review the gripe sheets before the next flight.
>
>Never let it be said that ground crews lack a sense of humor. Here are
some
>actual maintenance complaints submitted by Qantas' pilots (marked with
a P)
>and the solutions recorded (marked with an S) by maintenance engineers.

>(By
>the way, Quantas is the only major airline that has never had an
accident.)
>
>P: Left inside main tire almost needs replacement.
>S: Almost replaced left inside main tire.
>
>P: Test flight OK, except auto-land very rough.
>S: Auto-land not installed on this aircraft.
>
>P: Something loose in cockpit.
>S: Something tightened in cockpit.
>
>P: Dead bugs on windshield.
>S: Live bugs on back-order.
>
>P: Autopilot in altitude-hold mode produces a 200 feet per minute
descent.
>S: Cannot reproduce problem on ground.
>
>P: Evidence of leak on right main landing gear.
>S: Evidence removed.
>
>P: DME volume unbelievably loud.
>S: DME volume set to more believable level.
>
>P: Friction locks cause throttle levers to stick.
>S: That's what they're for.
>
>P: IFF inoperative.
>S: IFF always inoperative in OFF mode.
>
>P: Suspected crack in windshield.
>S: Suspect you're right.
>
>P: Number 3 engine missing.
>S: Engine found on right wing after brief search.
>
>P: Aircraft handles funny.
>S: Aircraft warned to straighten up, fly right, and be serious.
>
>P: Target radar hums.
>S: Reprogrammed target radar with lyrics.
>
>P: Mouse in cockpit.
>S: Cat installed.
>
>And the best one for last ................
>
>P: Noise coming from under instrument panel. Sounds like a midget
pounding
>on something with a hammer.
>S: Took hammer away from midget.

How to give a pill to a cat

1. Pick up cat and cradle it in the crook of your left arm as if holding a baby. Position right forefinger and thumb on either side of cat's mouth and gently apply pressure to cheeks while holding pill in right hand. As cat opens mouth, pop pill into mouth.

Allow cat to close mouth and swallow.

2. Retrieve pill from floor and cat from behind sofa. Cradle cat in left arm and repeat process.

3. Retrieve cat from bedroom, and throw soggy pill away.

4. Take new pill from foil wrap, cradle cat in left arm, holding rear paws tightly with left hand. Force jaws open and push pill to back of mouth with right forefinger.

Hold mouth shut for a count of ten.

5. Retrieve pill from goldfish bowl and cat from top of wardrobe. Call spouse from garden.

6. Kneel on floor with cat wedged firmly between knees, hold front and rear paws. Ignore low growls emitted by cat. Get spouse to hold head firmly with one hand while forcing wooden ruler into mouth. Drop pill down ruler and rub cat's throat vigorously.

7. Retrieve cat from curtain rail, get another pill from foil wrap. Make note to buy new ruler and repair curtains. Carefully sweep shattered figurines and vases from hearth and set to one side for gluing later.

8. Wrap cat in large towel and get spouse to lie on cat with head just visible from below armpit.Put pill in end of drinking straw, force mouth open with pencil and blow down drinking straw.
 
9. Check label to make sure pill not harmful to humans, drink 1 beer to take taste away. Apply Band-Aid to spouse's forearm and remove blood from carpet with cold water and soap.

10. Retrieve cat from neighbor's shed. Get another pill. Open another beer Place cat in cupboard, and close door onto neck, to leave head showing.

Force mouth open with dessert spoon. Flick pill down throat with elastic band.

11. Fetch screwdriver from garage and put cupboard door back on hinges. Drink beer. Fetch bottle of scotch. Pour shot, drink. Apply cold compress to cheek and check records for date of last tetanus shot.

Apply whiskey compress to cheek to disinfect. Toss back another shot. Throw Tee shirt away and fetch new one from bedroom.

12. Call fire department to retrieve the damn cat from across the road. Apologize to neighbor who crashed into fence while swerving to avoid cat. Take last pill from foil wrap.

13. Tie the little bastard's front paws to rear paws with garden twine and bind tightly to leg of dining table, find heavy-duty pruning gloves from shed. Push pill into mouth followed by large piece of filet steak. Be rough about it. Hold head vertically and pour 2 pints of water down throat to wash pill down.  

14. Consume remainder of scotch. Get spouse to drive you to the emergency room, sit quietly while doctor stitches fingers and forearm and removes pill remnants from right eye. Call furniture shop on way home to order new table.

15. Arrange for ASPCA to collect mutant cat from hell and call local pet shop to see if they have any hamsters.

How To Give A Dog A Pill

1. Wrap it in bacon.

2. Toss it in the air.

Scottsman clad in kilt left a bar one evening fair....
One could tell ,by how walked, that he'd drunk more then his share...
he fumbled 'round until he could no longer keep his feet....
Then stumbled off into the grass to sleep beside the street...

About that time two young and lovely girls just happened by....
One says to the other , with a twinkle in her eye...
"see yon sleeping scottsman so strong and handsome built...
I wonder if it's true what they don't wear beneath the kilt"...

They crept up on that sleeping Scottsman quiet as could be...
Lift his kilt about an inch so they could see..
And there , behold , for them to view beneath his scottish skirt...
was nothing more then god had graced him with upon his birth..

They marveled for a moment then one said "we must be gone......
let's leave a present for our friend before we move along"
As a gift they left a blue silk ribbon tied into a bow.
Around the body's star ,the scottmans kilt did lift and show


Now the scottsman woke to nature's call and stumbled towards the trees..
behind a bush he lift his kilt and gawks at what he sees..
In a startled voice he says ,to what's before his eyes...
"oh , lad I don't know where ya been , but I see you won first prize"

Pocket Tazer Stun Gun, a great gift for the wife.
A guy who purchased his lovely wife a pocket Tazer for their anniversary submitted this:

Last weekend I saw something at Larry's Pistol & Pawn shop that sparked my interest. The occasion was our 15th anniversary and I was looking for a little something extra for my wife Julie. What I came across was a 100,000 volt, pocket/purse sized tazer. The effects of the tazer were supposed to be short lived, with no long-term adverse affect on your assailant, allowing her adequate time to retreat to safety.

WAY TOO COOL! Long story short, I bought the device and brought it home. I loaded two AAA batteries in the darn thing and pushed the button. Nothing! I was disappointed. I learned, however, that if I pushed the button and pressed it against a metal surface at the same time, i'd get the blue arc of electricity darting back and forth between the prongs.

AWESOME!

Unfortunately, I have yet to explain to Julie what that burn spot is on the face of her microwave. Okay, so I was home alone with this new toy, thinking to myself that it couldn't be all that bad with only two AAA batteries, right? There I sat in my recliner, my cat Gracie looking on intently (trusting little soul) while I was reading the directions and thinking that I really needed to try this thing out on a flesh and blood moving target. I must admit I thought about zapping Gracie (for a fraction of a second) and thought better of it. She is such a sweet cat. But, if I was going to give this thing to my wife to protect herself against a mugger, I did want some assurance that it would work as advertised. Am I wrong?

So, there I sat in a pair of shorts and a tank top with my reading glasses perched delicately on the bridge of my nose, directions in one hand, and tazer in the other. The directions said that a one-second burst would shock and disorient your assailant; a two-second burst was supposed to cause muscle spasms and a major loss of bodily control; a three-second burst would purportedly make your assailant flop on the ground like a fish out of water. Any burst longer than three seconds would be wasting the batteries.

All the while I'm looking at this little device measureing about 5: long, less than 3/4 inch in circumference; pretty cute really and (loaded with two itsy, bitsy AAA batteries) thinking to myself, 'no possible way!' What happened next is almost beyond description, but I'll do my best.

I'm sitting there alone, Gracie looking on with her head cocked to one side as if to say, 'don't do it moron,' reasoning that a one second burst from such a tiny little ole thing couldn't hurt all that bad. I decided to give myself a one second burst just for the heck of it. I touched the prongs to my naked thigh, pushed the button, and...

HOLY MOTHER OF GOD
WEAPONS OF MASS DESTRUCTION
WHAT THE HELL!!!!

I'm pretty sure Jesse Ventura ran in through the side door, picked me up in the recliner, then body slammed us both on the carpet, over and over and over again. I vaguely recall waking up on my side in the fetal position, with tears in my eyes, body soaking wet, both nipples on fire, testicles nowhere to be found, with my left arm tucked under my body in the oddest position, and tingling in my legs?

The cat was making meowing sounds I had never heard before, clinging to a picture frame hanging above the fireplace, obviously in an attempt to avoid getting slammed by my body flopping all over the living room.

Note: if you ever feel compelled to 'mug' yourself with a tazer, one note of caution: there is no such thing as a one second burst when you zap yourself! You will not let go of that thing until it is dislodged from your hand by a violent thrashing about on the floor. A three second burst would be considered conservative? IT HURT LIKE HELL!!!!

A minute or so later (I can't be sure, as time was a relative thing at that point), I collected my wits (what little I had left), sat up and surveyed the landscape. My bent reading glasses were on the mantle of the fireplace. The recliner was upside down and about 8 feet or so from where it originally was. My triceps, right thigh and both nipples were still twitching. My face felt like it had been shot up with Novocain, and my bottom lip weighed 88 lbs. I had no control over the drooling.

Apparently I pooped on myself, but was too numb to know for sure and my sense of smell was gone. I saw a faint smoke cloud above my head which I believe came from my hair. I'm still looking for my testicles and I'm offering a significant reward for their safe return.

P.S. My wife can't stop laughing about my experience, loved the gift, and now regularly threatens me with it!

If you think education is difficult, try being stupid!

This is something to think about when negative people are doing their best to rain on your parade. So remember this story the next time someone who knows nothing and cares less tries to make your life miserable. 

A woman was at her hairdresser's getting her hair styled for a trip to Rome with her husband.. She mentioned the trip to the hairdresser, who responded: 

" Rome ? Why would anyone want to go there? 
It's crowded and dirty.. You're crazy to go to Rome . 
So, how are you getting there?" 

"We're taking Continental," was the reply. "We got a great rate!" 

"Continental?" exclaimed the hairdresser.. " That's a terrible airline. Their planes are old, their flight attendants are ugly, and they're always late. So, where are you staying in Rome ?" 

"We'll be at this exclusive little place over on Rome 's Tiber River called Teste." 

"Don't go any further. I know that place. Everybody thinks its gonna be something special and exclusive, but it's really a dump." 

"We're going to go to see the Vatican and maybe get to see the Pope." 

"That's rich," laughed the hairdresser. You and a million other people trying to see him.
He'll look the size of an ant. 

Boy, good luck on this lousy trip of yours. You're going to need it." 

A month later, the woman again came in for a hairdo. The hairdresser asked her about her trip to Rome . 

"It was wonderful," explained the woman, "not only were we on time in one of Continental's brand new planes, but it was overbooked, and they bumped us up to first class. The food and wine were wonderful, and I had a handsome 28-year-old steward who waited on me hand and foot. 

And the hotel was great! They'd just finished a $5 million remodeling job, and now it's a jewel, the finest hotel in the city. They, too, were overbooked, so they apologized and gave us their owner's suite at no extra charge!" 

"Well," muttered the hairdresser, "that's all well and good, but I know you didn't get to see the Pope." 

"Actually, we were quite lucky, because as we toured the Vatican, a Swiss Guard tapped me on the shoulder, and explained that the Pope likes to meet some of the visitors, and if I'd be so kind as to step into his private room and wait, the Pope would personally greet me. 

Sure enough, five minutes later, the Pope walked through the door and shook my hand!

I knelt down and he spoke a few words to me." 

"Oh, really! What'd he say ?" 


He said: "Who the fuck did your hair?

SIGNS THAT YOU ARE SUBMISSIVE

-If you see a Mix-Master in the store and think it's a new self-stimulating toy, you may be a submissive. -If you hear the drinking toast "Bottoms Up"! and instantly obey, you may be a submissive. -If you are more concerned about the skin on your ass cheeks than that on your face you may be a submissive. -If a friend of yours tells you she can't get out of the house because she's all tied up....and you get jealous, you may be a submissive. -If you walk by dog obedience classes and offer to demonstrate from the dog's perspective, you may be a submissive. -If you get sexually turned on while looking through the cooking implements drawer, you may be a submissive. -If you visit Alcatraz, stand for hours in a dark cell, and come out flushed and smiling, you may be a submissive. -If you hear a confused person say,"Just Beat me"! and you automatically yell out "Me next"!, you may be a submissive. -If you're envious of the neighbor dog's new spike collar & leash, you may be a submissive. -If you call your personal vibrator "Sir", you may be a submissive. -If you think your panties look best on you when pulled down around your ankles, you may be a submissive. -If you see a road sign displaying, Chains required and wonder if that means, whips are optional, you may be a submissive.

If your closet is full of knee pads, but you don't play sports, you may be submissive. -If you dream of a corset style full length leather jacket with a full face hood, you may be a submissive.

Getting a hairdryer through customs... A distinguished young woman on a flight from Ireland asked the Priest beside her, 'Father, may I ask a favor?' 'Of course child. What may I do for you?' 'Well, I bought an expensive woman's electronic hair dryer for my Mother's birthday that is unopened and well over the Customs limits, and I'm afraid they'll confiscate it. Is there any way you could carry it through customs for me? Under your robes perhaps?' 'I would love to help you, dear, but I must warn you: I will not lie.' 'Father with your honest face, no one will question you.' When they got to Customs, she let the priest go ahead of her. The official asked, 'Father, do you have anything to declare?' 'From the top of my head down to my waist, I have nothing to declare.' The official thought this answer strange, so asked, 'And what do you have to declare from your waist to the floor?' 'I have a marvelous instrument designed to be used on a woman, but which is, to date, unused.' Roaring with laughter, the official said, 'Go ahead, Father. Next!'

I saw that on someones profile and i think its a great idea. So i will do it too :) A collection of jokes and funny things i came across.

HIGH SCHOOL -- 1957 vs. 2010 

Scenario 1: 
Jack goes quail hunting before school and then pulls into the school parking lot with his shotgun in his truck's gun rack.

1957 - In a short time, Johnny feels better and goes on playing. 
2010 - Mary is accused of being a sexual predator and loses her job. She faces 3 years in State Prison. Johnny undergoes 5 years of therapy.

HIGH SCHOOL -- 1957 vs. 2010 

Scenario 1: 
Jack goes quail hunting before school and then pulls into the school parking lot with his shotgun in his truck's gun rack.

1957 - In a short time, Johnny feels better and goes on playing. 
2010 - Mary is accused of being a sexual predator and loses her job. She faces 3 years in State Prison. Johnny undergoes 5 years of therapy.

I always like SciFi. A shame SG1 has stopped....a good show with lots of comedy in it. Battletech is also a real masterpiece.

Astronomy is fun, but to be honest, i do not seem to grasp the physic behond quarks. While the micro and macrokosmos seems to be very different, they still are connected to each other.

A remarkable discovery is that scientist seem to think the observable universe of the actual universe are very different in size. Seems to make sense, considering the fast uniformity of the observable one....

I will move soon to Belgium, next month. Countryside, very calm.

This means, if there is a soul here who thinks we are born for each other, please be aware that in the end, she will live in Belgium. Ideally, in the end, i will work and she takes care of every other second. Of course she can work there too and do what she wants, but i think its fair to tell this in advance :)

The location i will go is where i was born, it is a very quiete and safe place.