shalandar

Maybe someone could explain something to me.  While I understand Humiliation, what I don't get is degrading humiliation.  I mean, just being completely degrading to someone, calling them the worst names you can, using them as an ashtray or toilet, keeping them in a cage (which is fine) and making them shit and pee there (not so fine).  I just don't get this part of D/s. 

I can't even understand why a Dominant would want to do that to someone.  What type of pleasure could you get out of treating someone as less than human?  Out of just browbeating their personality?

Am I the only person left who believes that BDSM is about a "mutual" exchange?  I don't mean one night He Doms and one night She Doms...I mean that it shouldn't all be one sided.  It shouldn't all be about the Dom(me) getting only what S/He wants, and it shouldn't be all about the sub getting all s/he wants either.  It should be a mutual agreement.  Sure, sometimes one will get more than the other....

Wow, I'm starting to feel old.....

I'm not currently looking any longer, but I find it very interesting to look around and see what people write.  Everything seems to be extremes.  I don't mean, extreme in a BDSM way, I mean polar opposites.  I see profiles that are demanding 100% submission/slavery, then I see a profile that believes sex is simply a part of BDSM.  I see profiles that want to just dominate financially, then I see profiles that are looking for just a casual fling and nothing more.

I think too many people have no clue what they want, and they simply put out there the first thing that comes to mind.  Do you have any idea how hard it would be to rule 100% of someone's life?  "Get up at a certain time, take a shower (or not), put these clothes on, do these things this day, when you are done, I want you to do XXX until I say otherwise."  Every single day.  On the flip side of that, giving up 100% freedom would be not ever having a say in ANYTHING.  "We are going here.  You will do this only.  You are not allowed to do anything without express permission."  Do people realize how truely daunting that would be?  Even the meekest person would rebel at some point.

Yes, I'm a switch so my perspective is a bit scewed sometimes, but don't people realize what they are asking/want?  THINK a little people.

I doubt anyone will actually see this entry, no one has looked at my profile in years.  But venting feels good in the long run :)