Why Does She Want To Be Submissive Firstly she needs to know what submissive actually meant for her. Was it just a fantasy or a need that came from deep within.
How I got to where I am today It all started just having a conversation with a friend about bondage, not play talk just somehow came up in conversation and would the either of us do it. At this point neither us knew the complete aspect of leading a D/s relationship. This got my mind thinking and I immediately started researching BDSM. I found with the more I researched, the more I read, the more I had to find out if this lifestyle could be for me.
Her thoughts If you were sick, you go to a doctor, you trust this doctor to make the right choice for you. In our everyday life we put in our trust in someone that we don’t know, so why not in your immediate life where you gain something back, in essence it would be a feeling of “a sense of belonging“.
Why does she (me) want to submit? For me it is a relief from responsibility, I would get the attention and affection I seek, something I've never had in any relationship. Sexually it will help me have more self confidence about myself, over come many inhibitions I have.
I find myself to be a people pleaser throughout my life, I like to make people smile, I like being told when ive done something well ( most of my life been full of criticism in one way or another) Hearing or seeing that I’m done good or someone is proud of me, brings a sense of pride and smile to my face. Is this real, yes for me it is, it is a real as it can get, my smile is not fake, nor are the feelings I have felt. Does this mean I can’t think for myself?. No it doesn't. I can and do think for myself, make decisions everyday, just some things are already decided for me, through me giving a part of me to that of another.
I like the mental as well as the physical feelings it brings out, the quiet knowledge of who is in control is a constant mental thing.
I believe I am naturally submissive and empathic wanting to take this to that of pleasing my Dom/Master to what of his desires. I will learn to trust you because I will believe you are right, I will trust you because you generally care for my well being and wants what is best for me, I trust you because I want and choose to be submissive to your desires. I know I will enjoy submission if I can find it. I have spent most of my life protecting myself from people that did not truly care about me. When I finally am able to trust and accept my Dom/Master will be like a huge weight lifted of my shoulders, a reward., a new beginning. There is no feeling of guilt, only a growing impatience for what is only inevitable.
One thought entered my mind.. "why do I think I am a submissive?" I came up with after a few days thinking, I wrote down. - In all areas of my life since I was 15 ive done everything, made decisions, been totally dependant on only myself, never relying on anyone, so now at 38 I want/need someone else to take over, It would be a relief from responsibility, I would get the attention and affection I seek, something ive never had in any relationship.
I started to research sites for my city, and found a site that lead me to a few people to help bring BDSM lifestyle into my real life. I've attend some munches and been to a few warehouse parties.
Now that i've actually experienced some real life play sessions, the need has intensified to the want of more. The need to have it in my real life is and will be a growing desire to achieve what ive started. I know patience is very much required as it is at any time hard finding the right one in a “normal/vanilla” relationship. Within the BDSM aspect it is even harder finding the one that will allow you to totally submit to.
One thing I found hard to deal with is how I felt when I got home from these play sessions, there was no one to talk to, no one to hold me if I felt the need to be held, sleep was not easy to find. So in my mind the person I choose to talk with after such sessions will be a comfort of somewhat. It will be able to help me mentally focus on what happened, where I might be able to improve myself. To be able to share my experience/s is a need I believe. I might be wrong but for now I don’t think I am. Until I have a Master in my real life this online aspect will have to do, it does have some mental aspect to it, as it will help condition my way of thinking, though I am not meant to think for myself as such, one has to online. Though online I also believe that both parties need to know each other, thus falls upon the submissive one more so I believe as she is meant to share her every tought with the person she/he submits to.
Communication is the key to any successful relationship whether it is in a non D/s relation or not, but more so in the BDSM lifestyle. Most of the dynamics of a D/s relationship falls upon myself being able to share all my fantasies and fears.
