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I am me.
I make mistakes but hopefully try to learn from them.
I’ve been told I wear my emotions on my face
I’m open if I trust you, guarded if I don’t
I’m honest; if you don’t want the answer don’t ask the question
Although I try to be kind sometimes I can be blunt and hurt your feelings.
I can be sarcastic
I think I have a pretty good sense of humor even though it might be dark at times.
I can laugh at myself
I’m comfortable in my own skin; it’s taken me a long time to be able to say that.
I’m smart, smart enough to sometimes not show it but don’t underestimate me.
I’m loyal to a fault, you can hurt me, step on me, break me and I will still be loyal to you.
I talk too much especially when I’m nervous or feel out of place. I “rattle” but with a reminder I will reel my thoughts back in.
I get hurt easily, but also forgive quickly
I’m strong but with enough pressure I can break
I’m emotional, I cry when I’m hurt, angry, frustrated and even happy. Please don’t take that as weakness, it’s just the way I’m programmed. I think of it as my release valve.
I take commitments to heart
I don’t make promises I won’t or can’t keep
I will tear myself apart before I admit defeat
I sometimes open my mouth before my brain engages, sometimes? Well a lot of the time.
I’m very head strong, sometimes overly so.
I’m happiest sitting on the floor, leaning against his legs, having him play with my hair, waiting to see if he needs me to do something for him.
I can’t be anything but me, take it or leave it….. I am me.
The story of the red shoes: I have friend who is nilla but has a huge foot/shoe fetish. I asked him if I took a picture for him what he wanted and he said red open toe shoes with red nail polish. So I took a picture for him. For those that have asked if I wear heels all the time, the answer is no. Those shoes were bought not to walk in, lol.
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I think summer's here.... it was HOT today!! |
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A good friend of mine, Master Howard, died last night. I will miss him terribly. RIP Sir |
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<br>Invisible<br><br>
<br>Here but not really<br>
Invisible<br>
Heart beats loudly, no one hears<br>
Invisible<br>
Body aches to be touched<br>
Invisible<br>
Voice whispers to be heard<br>
Invisible<br>
Crowded room<br>
Invisible<br>
Clothed or naked<br>
Invisible<br>
Screaming or silent<br>
Invisible<br>
Needing and wanting<br>
Invisible<br>
Laughing and crying<br>
Invisible<br>
Curling up into a little ball<br>
Invisible<br>
Disappearing<br>
Invisible<br>
Drift quietly<br>
Invisible<br>
No more thoughts or worries<br>
Invisible<br>
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Going to Winter Wickedness on Feb 3rd. Should be a fun weekend! |
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going to the next Deviation party on Jan 21st |
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10 mins left of 2011. I wish you all a great 2012! |
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Happy birthday to me! Lol |
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Going to Deviations on Saturday. |
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Going to Deviations tomorrow night, maybe wear my new leather skirt |
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Home from Ohio.... tired and sick. I had a great time though. |
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Who am I?
<br>
<br>
I’ve been thinking a lot about this lately. Who am I really?
<br>
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I am smart
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I am opinionated
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I am emotional
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I sometimes jump before I look
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I am impatient
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I am devoted
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I am loyal
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I am passionate
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I am scared
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I am unsure
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I am at time unpredictable
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I am at other times very predictable
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I am hurt easily
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I wear my emotions on my sleeve
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I am stubborn
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I give in even when it hurts me
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I place others needs before my own
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I forgive
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I don’t want to settle but find I do
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I have a temper
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I get angry
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I sometime let me mouth talk before my brain engages
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I have dreams
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I have fantasies
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I love unconditionally
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I will tear myself apart even if I’ve done nothing wrong
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I can be alone in a room full of people
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I am physical
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I am oral
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I want
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I need
<br>
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I cry
I am submissive
<br>
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I am priceless |
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Going to the Fetish Flea market in Cleveland next weekend. Hopefully will find some fun things to buy. |
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Brrrrrrrrr!!!!!! Frost!!!!!!! |
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An overextended stay in your comfort zone leads to a sense of loss of purpose and meaning. Your internal reflexes shift into idle, and one-time desired results vanish. Frustration and the feeling of being goal-less prevail. The unexpected gift of conflict arrives to reconnect you to your commitment to a cause worthy of your fight, which then reawakens your passionate pursuit of the greatness to which you were called. |
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today I had to make a very hard decision..... I had to have my dog put to sleep. 3 weeks ago she was fine then she started to loose weight rapidly. Baby Pie..... I'm going to miss you so much..... |
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All I want to do is go dancing.... Tonight I went to a nilla meet and greet kind of thing from a nilla dating site. While I didn't expect much from it I didn't realize how bad I would feel about myself afterwards. I sat with strangers for 3 hours and didn't have one person try to talk to me. I kept thinking what's wrong with me? I'm not ugly and don't have missing or extra parts.... I'm a BBW is all. They looked at me and then looked away like if they met my eyes they might have to say something to me. I'm of the era where men do the approaching, men ask a lady to dance, men buy the lady a drink, men strike up a conversation. Maybe I am a dinosaur, maybe I am some hideously ugly person that no one wants to talk to.... at least that how they made me feel tonight. I burst into tears and cried all the way home. This was supposed to be fun, a way to get out, talk to others and maybe dance a bit. I love to dance. I guess I'm just not worth even talking to let alone ask to dance. I feel like shit tonight. |
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Went to GA this weekend and had a great time visiting friends. The weather was kinda crappy the first couple days but made up for it just in time to leave, lol. |
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Don't make someone a priority in your life if you are just an after thought in theirs. |
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I've read numerous profiles on here as well as other fetish sites and vanilla sites and I have to wonder..... Don't people read them after they write them? |
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been 5 months since I wrote here. starting to figure some things out. |
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shattered........................ |
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