I am seeking an attractive, intelligent (hopefully intellectual), and feisty woman who is interested in a long-term consensually patriarchal relationship. You have an independent, perhaps feminist side that might express itself in the work world. But you also need balance, which you understand can be achieved by submitting to a man who keeps you in touch with your femininity.

This is not about anyone being superior to, or more important than, anybody else. It is about building intimacy and erotic attraction by cultivating oppositely charged energies—the conquering masculine and the resistant yet ultimately yielding feminine.

This means that I am NOT looking for a doormat—but for an inwardly deep individual who feels conflicted between her sense of independence and her need to be dominated. Submission is always a process, never a state of being. You do not want to submit; you want to be made to submit—both emotionally and physically. That you will sometimes act out will therefore be expected rather than resented. After, all, it will be your sassiness that will keep me on my toes. It’s only because you can sometimes forget your place that I get to remind you of it! There will never be a point at which I feel entitled to your obedience, since it is only by exacting your obedience that I can come to deserve it.

I’m also not looking for a “slave.” I can do my own chores and run my own errands. Moreover, all those rules and protocols are too insipid for my taste. Who wants that kind of predictability in a relationship? You’ll come to see me not as your master or your boss, but as your guardian, as a protector/authority figure who both scolds and reassures. I’ll listen to your opinions respectfully, but then be the one who makes the decision. I will lay down and enforce rules as they become necessary, but I have no interest in micro-managing anyone’s life, as I’m busy enough with my own.

While not obsessed with whips and chains, I do believe in corporal punishment and would administer it as appropriate. Outwardly, our relationship will appear fairly vanilla to the undiscerning eye. There will be plenty of hand holding, cuddling, etc. But inwardly, you’ll always feel my firm hand lurking in the background, sitting in judgment, helping to keep you sensuously alert and disciplined.

Finally, here are a few words about myself. Both self-aware and self-controlled, I’m multi-lingual, cultured, and have multiple advanced degrees. My leisure activities include travel, hiking, eating out, and martial arts.

Let me know both what appeals to you about my vision and what you’re doing in life generally. If I think there could be a connection, I’ll provide further details about myself. Please include a picture. I’ll respond with one of my own.