It's taken me a really long time to be here. For the longest time I couldn't even admit to myself I was submissive. I wanted the normal relationship and the normal sex and the normal white picket fence with 2.5 kids with a dog in the backyard. I thought I had to choose.
Eventually I couldn't bear to deny it anymore. BDSM is a part of me. It's not just an infatuation, but something that compels me. And by admitting this to myself, I also realized (with a lot of time of course) that if I do it right I could have both. I can have the white picket fence and all that good stuff (and...chains in the closet).
So I guess I'm looking for friendship, someone to learn from, and maybe eventually someone that will build me a white picket fence and then chain me to it (if I'm lucky). :P
