Sammyjoe777

I've been involved with bdsm for as long as I've been sexually active, and in that time I've had my share of D/s relationships, with myself as the 'D'. I've developed a pretty good idea of what works for me, and what I'm looking for, and this post is an attempt to find it. Rather than going for a broad trawling post, I'm going detailed and specific, so if the content of this post appeals to you then we are likely to be compatible, so drop me a message.

Dynamic
This should go without saying, but the for me, anything that turns me on relates to me being in control. Sexually, I like a strict dynamic with rules and protocols. I enjoy assigning rewards and punishments, as well as tasks. I have a range of kinks including restraints, spankings, discipline training (with rewards and punishments) , name-calling and mild humiliation, non-con play, and using my sub as human furniture. But the unifying theme is that they enforce this power dynamic where I have control over my sub, physically or mentally. In terms of online play, I enjoy setting rules: things like how to address me, or how to ask permission to masturbate or orgasm. I also like controlling more mundane things - dietary or clothing restrictions, for example. As well as rules, I like setting one-off tasks - that might be sexual, or something arbitary. Ultimately, I want my sub to give her all to me, and to let me take control of whichever aspects of her life that I wish. In return, you get the comfort and reward of knowing you are in safe hands, and that you don't have to make decisions. In terms of physical play, I tend to take the lead, but sometimes enjoy sitting back to let my sub tend to me; again, in either case it's about getting my sub to do what I want and to fulfil my desires in that moment.

You
I get on best with women who are high-achieving, ambitious and intelligent. My relationship history involves a lot of women with postgrads degrees or good careers. I like to know that my partner seems capable in most aspects of her life, but is subservient behind closed doors with me. Linking to that, I like to be able to have a good conversation with my partner, not just about sex. Wittiness and sense of humour are really sexy to me. I tend to prefer to play with women around my age or younger, though this isn't a dealbreaker, I find it helps the power dynamic. I am also happy to play with subs who are relatively new to bdsm; enthusiasm is more important than experience.