SamasSamurai

Male Submissive, 63, N.Detroit Suburbs, Michigan

Dominant Couple, 50, San Antonio, Texas

Male Dominant, 58

He is Clear-sighted Honorable Brilliant Wise Interesting Multi-dimensional? Deep Thought provoking? Responsible? Caring Vengeful Sadistic Funny Appreciative Surprising Wicked ? Dedicated? And that is why I am His.?

Thank you to everyone for all your help with chess. I actually won 2 games the other day-2! I almost can't believe I'm getting better. I ran late the other day and was trapped underground on the train. No way to talk to Him, knowing I wouldn't be there when I said I would. Torture. When we started to move I was able to get a fleeting signal and took a chance. The message got through and I felt so grateful when He agreed to wait for me. Even with the 50 extra minutes He allowed me and taking cab from the train I made it with less then a minute to spare. I flew through the door, shaking. Trying to calm my racing heart as I sat and typed. I am home and still. Yours, at Your feet.

He is trying to teach me chess. I am terrible at it. I think I'm worse at chess then I am at math. I keep practicing and practicing, but it seems like all I'm learning are new ways to lose. I swear I have it down to 5 moves now. I just downloaded a tactics trainer and hopefully that will help. I don't think it's possible for me to get any worse. I hope He isn't too disappointed if it turns out I'll always be terrible. Well, I guess Rome wasn't built in a day, and I can't learn chess in one either. Back to practice

Sama shared a secret with me today. It gave me hope, when all I felt was despair. Somehow, he always knows what I need. Even when I hide it from myself.

I barely got to talk to Sama at all today. Just for a few minutes in the morning. I got home very late (almost 3am his time) and I'm afraid I may have upset or disappointed him. I hope not. I hope he had a long but satisfying day and he is getting some good rest. I hope he reaches out to me when he wakes up. I'm pathetic now and I can't seem to help how much want to talk to him. He played a cruel joke on me yesterday, telling me I was dull and he was going to stop talking to me. I only believed him for half a second but even that small ribbon of doubt made me want to cry at the though of him thinking that, doing that. I was so relieved I hadn't misjudged him I almost cried all over again. What is wrong with me? I slept with my sign last night because it made me feel close to him. Pathetic. Just ink on paper that I printed but still a connection because the words are His. When I came home seeing it still on my pillow gave me a funny feeling inside. I don't know what I'm going to do if he doesn't talk to me. I don't know how this happened to me when I'm so dominant in my own right. Everyone else has always tried and failed but it was like once he showed me he was worthy, I just couldn't help it. He is My Sama.

Many of these entries are old, but a good place to start: A few weeks ago....... Yesterday Sama told me that I'm His samurai. I wasn't sure how I felt about it at first, but after I understood more about what it meant I felt pleased. It makes me happy to belong to my Sama this way. It shows He has respect for me despite my current position of servitude. I can't believe how quickly this is happening. My Sama knows that in 27 years I have never found one like him but I'm not sure he understands how intense that makes this experience for me. I have never met anyone as deserving of respect, with such strength of character, who affected me in such an instinctual manner- totally opposite from the way people usually affect me! And it's really knocked me for a loop. I feel such a deep connection to him it shouldn't be possible. We hardly know each other, have never met in person, but it's like in some way I don't understand yet we are in accord with each other. It's like we have somehow recognized that we hold the same core values, but there is no way we know each other well enough for that to be the case. I just don't get it. I'm thinking about putting my sign above my bed. Under normal circumstances it would appall me but for some reason, now it doesn't. It make me feel good. This is all so strange to me. I feel so confused.

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