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sadiranovella

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9/12/2011 9:45:17 PM

Haven't wrote in awhile. I had a wonderful experience with my ex-Master. I have learned a lot of my likes and dislikes. I am sad to see that we are no longer in a relationship. I am glad that we can be friends. I have decided that I now need to take time for me instead of jumping into another relationship. Take time to explore some more with people I trust in my community. Learn more about me and who I really am. To learn more about what I truly want and need in my life. To learn more of my limitations. This does not mean that I wouldn't mind making friends and speaking. But I won't be making any commitments. I have people can respect that and understand my decision. I tend to believe you must show respect to get that. I do have a name all you have to do is ask, so please don't start off by calling me girl, or slave, or any other name but my name. Thank you.


4/30/2011 6:11:47 AM

Well i was able to see my Master last night. Which was wonderful. Had a wonderful dinner where i got into trouble a few times for being a brat towards Master's wife's boyfriend. Which that is just the type of relationship i have with him. so after dinner we all ended up back at a hotel room. Which ended up being real fun. i have nice pretty bite marks on my shoulders, my breast, and on my neck. i got my collar of consideration last night. i am very happy over that. We discussed that some time after the new year of being officially collared, if we are still together and things are still going as good as they are. Which i have a good feeling that they will be.


4/23/2011 10:27:51 PM

   Okay so today i have been a bit emotional. i wasn't able to see my Master this weekend because he had things he had to do. Which i understand. Doesn't mean it didn't get to me. So i have been cranky and crying most of the day. Which was hard when i was able to talk to him tonight. i tried really hard not to be in a bad mood. i did try to hide that i was crying but that's hard to do when it comes to him. i can't seem to keep things to myself or anything. i seem to tell everything that goes through my mind at times.

   So now i am facing confronting my emotions and dealing with them. i typically run from my feelings and push that person away that i am having the feelings about. Which is something i am trying hard not to do. i care a lot for my Master and i have feelings for him which are growing of course. But i struggle with them. i tend to be stubborn and hard headed and fight what i feel. But i don't seem to be able to do so this time.

   i am hoping Master understands that it isn't his fault for how i feel. That what i am feeling is probably something that comes naturally, especially when it comes to me. i tend to be a very emotional person. Something else i need to work on.

   So now i am faced with a lot of emotions and trying to make sure i remain a good slave to my Master. But i know if i talk to him more about what i am feeling that he will understand.

 

tori


4/18/2011 12:45:25 AM

Another wonderful weekend. Thanks to my wonderful Master. Went to another swingers party. The main reason we went was because of a special young lady. She is an ex of Master's but they still remain in contact. i have come to have a little bit of a thing for her you can say. Well long story short, we had wonderful time and threesome with her. The night was just wonderful. The energy between the three of us was perfect. i don't think that it could of went any better. Master didn't really want to go to another swingers party, but sweet innocent me encouraged it because i wanted to see and play with our lovely friend. i am so glad Master allowed it. Master had a wonderful time and that is what really mattered. My job was to please the both of them and if i was a good girl i would be allowed to have an orgasm. Well i did both so i was allowed to have an orgasm.

 

i am learning a lot about me and who i am. Master is helping me grow as a slave. i am learning to be more comfortable with my natural state. Meaning being comfortable in service. i am learning to be comfortable in the community as well.

 

 


4/13/2011 7:02:34 PM

Well a new experience today. i was being bad but in a good way. i was teasing Master at work and begging to cum more. Well he had already called and wanted to hear me cum before he went back to the office. So after that i wanted more. He had already had me edge a few times and my favorite vibe on my pussy for awhile. But anyways, so i was begging him. So it came down to if i really wanted to i would something in return. It was put a drop of hot sauce on my clit. Let's say the only reason i did this was to please my Master. It burned really badly. It was a painful burn. i was in tears over this. But once i started masturbating my mind was no longer on the burning. The two sensations together was awesome. When i cumed it was wonderful and it was about the same time the burning stopped. So would i experience that again? maybe.

 

i am becoming more of a pain slut than i thought i ever dreamed of.

 

Okay, so later on i still wanted more. But he said no more until 2 p.m. So i went and took a nap. Well i woke up at 4 something. Well lets say that i was scared of Master's reaction when he found that i didn't cum at the time he told me. So when i told him i was scared and was crying. Not a reaction that was needed though. He knew that i was asleep because i hadn't messaged him and he knows i don't go long without messaging him unless i'm asleep or not able too. But of course i have a wonderful understanding Master. Who didn't overreact of course. He understood and i didn't get punished. Though i did. i mean i am still learning my Master and how he would react to things. He is wonderful.


4/10/2011 6:48:59 PM

Went out with Master yesterday. Had a wonderful time. He is evil though. He found ways to control me and make sure he had my full attention. He could act like he was playing in my hair but really be pulling on it. He also knows certain pressure points etc to pull me towards him or get me to do what he wants me to.

 

But the whole time we were in the car he was messing with me. Touching me certain ways to make me more hot and bothered. He had me cum several times in the car. So glad people can't always see what is going on in the car. Especially when your skirt is pulled all the way up and your completely exposed.

 

We did behave when we went out to eat and at the mall. Though he did find a way to touch my breast without people really knowing it. But once we got back into the car that was a different story. He managed to get me to cum once again before someone walked by.


So we go to the movies and sit in the parking lot for a little bit and of course perfect place to make out and of course i was allowed to cum once again. We went to a movie that we thought the theater would be kind of empty. It was a little empty but not what we really wanted. But of course he messed with me whole movie and had me cum several more times. Some he had to put his hand over my mouth. So i only got to see parts of the movie. Not complaining. Though he did have me in a state of mind that tori was no longer there. He enjoys putting me into my head space. He also likes when i get the glossy look in my eyes.

 

But on the way home things kind of changed. He would have me cum on command. Meaning he told me to cum i cumed. Which i haven't always been able to do. But apparently as of last night i could do without someone touching me sexually. Once i cumed i had to say i obey and of course thank you. It gets very hard to say i obey after being told to cum at least 5 plus times.

 

But then i started stroking Master's cock while he was driving to the point he had me stop and he started to stroke his cock and me rub my clit. But he eventually cumed in my hand and of course had me lick it off. Not something i have ever done.

 

So once again another new experience to put into my book. Thanks to my wonderful Master.


4/6/2011 8:42:46 PM

No i haven't wrote in awhile It has been crazy. With sorting out feelings and trying to understand how i respond to Master and etc my mind has been racing. i went to my first actual munch and play party. Let's say it was awesome. i was able to mingle with people and really enjoyed myself. Met a few new people which i hope to continue to talk with and get to know.

 

We played both nights Friday and Saturday. Friday night was intense. i took a lot that night. First time he "beat" me i was on a cross and he did a number on me. So we took a break and mingled and what not. Than we had me bent over a spanking bench. i took a lot then. To the point i was in tears and knew i couldn't take any more. Well he coached me into taking one more and it was from the cane. That one hit threw me over board. To the point of could not talk, i was crying even more, and i was shaking. He was wonderful though and took wonderful care of me afterwards.

 

Saturday was about the same. i took two beatings that night as well. They didn't feel as intense but he flogged me pretty good. He was able to to hit me as hard as he wanted with the floggers and not once did i red or yellow on him. Now when the tired tread paddle came out that was a different story. After being flogged pretty good and than that coming out that messes me all up. The second beating was with floggers only.

 

i have a pretty bruise from the weekend's fun.

 

i never thought i could give myself like i do to Master. Things seem so natural so different. i could lose myself to him and never want to be found. i feel so safe when i am with him. My heart skips a beat when he touches me, my breath becomes heavier, i get goosebumps, and chills. i blush with a single touch of his hand. He sets my skin on fire with a brush of his lips. i have never felt this intense with someone. He keeps me on edge all the time. His voice sends me into another world.


It seems the longer i am with him the more i want to give. Master does not require a lot of me. What i have given to him he did not ask for. i gave to him willing. He never really had a girl open car doors for him, or a door to a building, he hasn't had one ask to go to the restroom before doing so, etc. i started doing that with him and he enjoys that i do that.  i have never experienced things he does to me. We seem to have a perfect give and take type of relationship. We seem to match on so many levels that it is unimaginable. It seems so perfect. i am so happy. He makes me feel so different.


There was a time in my life i didn't think i would ever give myself to someone else. i had a Master that passed away that taught me a lot about myself and who i was. He was wonderful and i would of stayed with him forever. But it was his time to go. After he left i had a few horrible relationships and after them i went to a very dark place. That darkness has been lifting a little has i moved on. But Master has put me back in touch with the slave i once was. The person i locked away because no one deserved her and i didn't deserve anyone that could have her. Master has been bringing that person back out.


i find myself happier in servitude than i did just living my life in a vanilla way. i feel i am finally fulfilling my purpose. Living the life i have always wanted to live. i am doing what my heart wants and i am happy. i can't say i don't hit rough patches i do. Real life kicks in every so often and knocks me of cloud 9. i have a child to raise and college to do. But i seem happier doing these things than before. i cannot say it is all because of Master. i got out of a relationship that brought me down and i was out of it for a month before Master came along and things were looking up then, but Master did push it over the top for me. Yes there are days he drives me crazy with correcting my grammar, but i know that it is for the best. It is teaching me to be proper and more valuable in a work sense. Who wants a medical assistant that can't talk or write proper English? Do i slip up? Yes i do but he corrects me pretty quickly.

 

At times i consider myself a brat. i want to say i am not the type of brat that is a bad brat. Master has me spoiled to a certain point. To a point that he is happy with. Meaning i am spoiled by his kisses, by his touch, etc. i also consider myself a brat because i love to tease him. i am cock teaser when it comes to him. i actually find it funny to tease him while he is working. It is such a turn on.


3/24/2011 1:09:30 AM

Not happy at the moment...... i broke my ankle today so i will be in a boot for six weeks. There goes my plans. It couldn't of happened at a better time. The play party was coming up, so was the carnival, and all kinds of other stuff. *pouts* Oh well. Master is taking the blame for my ankle. He said that i am sweet but i shouldn't have gotten smart because he had to take me down(this is not word for word. You would have to ask him for the word to word). Now he is joking. He was no where near me or even in the same state as me when i fell. He is trying to make the situation funny. Which i am glad for.

 

But on a good note, Master and i did have lunch together before i broke my ankle. i actually brought him lunch. Which saved him money. (Go me) Of course he just could not leave me alone. He had started the morning off by having me masturbate to the point of having to cum then stop several times. So by the time i had to get ready i was hitting my head space. So we sit down to eat lunch together and he starts in on what i am going to call his "mind games" he knows how to get into my head and put me deeper into his control. Basically mind control. So there was a lot eye contact and low talking. So he starts in on touching my leg, i of course try to move back and of course i get into trouble for that. He digs his nails in etc which has me squirming and everything. So i start getting goosebumps, which is typical when it comes to Master doing certain things. Well eventually it gets to a point i say i have to walk. Well instead of walking we take a drive. Which Master thought was a good way for me to learn to listen to directions. So the whole time he is messing with me and doing his certain things to put me further underneath his "spell" Well eventually it gets to the point he gets me to cum. Wonderful. He also left his mark on my arm which is very lovely.

 

Better be getting back to bed. Good night A/all.


3/21/2011 1:28:40 PM

You know that it is right when everything matches so well. You know things fit just right when you agree on just about anything. You know things are right when it feels like you have been working on something forever and it has only be a short time. You know that things can change at any time. You know that things happen at any time. But for someone that doesn't believe in fate is taking a second look at a lot of things. Someone who thought she would keep walking a lonely path and meet someone for a short period that might lead for awhile and then disappear just might of found the one that will be her guidance. She might have found the one that will lead her out of the murky forest she has walked for the past few years. Things are never certain but all you can do is put faith in that one that has shown you that they can do it. For once i think i will quit trying to lead and be lead. For once i will grab onto someone's hand and let him guide me down the road or path he chooses even if it leads me around curves, through swamps, through murky waters, or over mountains. Instead of being the normal i'm a brat and i can do it on my own person, i think it is time for the true slave to come out and shine. So let's see what my Master can make of me. i am his clay and he will mold me into the slave he wishes for me to be.


3/20/2011 8:46:21 AM

All i can say is. Wow. Went to a Swingers mix last night. First time ever, ever to anything doing with the community. Let's say it is different. Let's say Master and i enjoyed O/ourselves. i believe i showed him that i am not as shy as i try to portray. i am real shy, but for some reason last night it was not as much so. Slapped a girl on her bottom, which she enjoyed very much and so did i. There was also a girl there that Master knew that i took to right away. She was real fun. Fun thing about a Swingers party is you see a lot of making out, beds, nudity, and sex.

 

Of course we mingled around. i was shown around, introduced to a lot of people, taken upstairs where we were able to sit on a bed talk, etc. Well the etc is where Master has me bend over the bed to where he can spank me. Let's say i took a lot more then i thought i could. But of course everyone saw my bare bottom and became very noticeable after wards. Thank you, Master. He did make me yell. Which was his intentions of course.

 

Can't wait until the play party.


3/17/2011 11:26:31 AM

Every time i know it is getting close to spending the day or evening with my Master, i start getting butterflies in my stomach. i don't feel it is because i am nervous. i think it is more because i am over joyed to be seeing him. i think about him from the time i get up to the time i go to sleep. i also think about him while i am sleeping. my head always seems to be flooded with some thought of him.  Some times i don't understand it.

 

Also yesterday starting at 6 p.m. i had to start edging every hour on the hour. Then report to him within 10 minutes or face a punishment. Masturbating to the point of almost cumming and then stopping is very hard. By the time he allowed to let me cum it came quickly and hard. To the point my bed sheets and panties were soaked.


3/15/2011 5:33:18 AM

i feel like i am walking on cloud 9. i am so happy with my Master. He pushes me to new points on a daily basis. He strives to make not only a better slave for him but a better person. i feel like i am in a very safe place. He loves keeping me on edge all the time which i enjoy very much.


3/13/2011 10:53:50 AM

i have never felt so happy. i have been on my second date with my Master. It was wonderful. W/we also played a little and he was wonderful. i did have to use my safe word and He stopped each time and W/we talked about it. i don't think i could of found any one more better than him. my body responds to Him in a way that He hasn't ever responded to anyone. He can make me cum by purely telling me to. Which i have never done before either and it was without my clit or pussy being played with. He knew how to keep me on edge the whole time. He is absolutely wonderful.


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HiC
 
 Age: 21
  Nevada