saahirah95 on Collarspace

4/11/2013 3:41:09 PM

She sat there sitting starring into the night he once again had asked her the impossible question for her to answer what was it she wanted. She knew what her heart desired she knew where her mind wanted to be she knew what her soul craved but when it came to try and tell Him this she stumbled over the words. It was as though every time he was near she would lose her voice her words her mind she could feel her heart pounding so hard it felt as if it would break every rib in her body and it thumped and raced harder and faster. He never had pushed at her before to do more than she was comfortable with but here she was wanting to submit everything to him and had no words to say that this is what she desired in every inch of her mind. He was gone now for the night as she traced the creased sheets where he sat while she knelt at his feet they were still warm and there were the words again in her mouth ready to come out. Her hair now loose and falling around her face tussled from where he ran his hands through and pulled her head down deeper on his magnificent glistening member causing her to have her throat gag around it. Slowly she rose and studied the faint markings on her breast as a reminder for her slowness at being dressed for Him though this time was better than the last. She could smell the scent of his skin still around her and she reached for her phone she wondered if she called if he would come back if he would stay if she begged. She knew he was going to his sisters only twenty minutes out of town. Her fingers glided easily over the numbers hitting each one not having to look where she was even pressing it was a number her fingers were so use to dialing. As she hit talk on the phone and it began to ring she wondered if she could even get the words out of her mouth this way with out him sitting there in front of her. His eyes starring down at her with affection, love and tenderness at the same time shielding all emotion from her. He cared she knew he did there is no way else she could explain how she knew this as no one had ever stood by through all the shit and still stayed even after she had tried to push him away.

“ Hello, grand central station” he tone was irradiated but that was nothing normal after all she could only imagine how many missed calls he had on his phone.
“Master, she needs to talk to you do you have time for her to speak at this moment,”
“Give me a few minutes”
“yes Master of course.”
The line went dead in her ears as he hung up the phone she slowly began to pace the floor she needed to say everything but yet still knew she could say nothing at the same time she had broken his trust badly before and she was not sure that the trust had ever been fully healed. She knew breaking the trust was the worst mistake she could have ever made with him. He held so mush based on trust and here she was still wanting and desiring to be kneeling at his feet all the time that the thought was slowly driving her mad and insane which was not the best idea either. She needed to either sink or swim and after four years of dipping her toe in the water and pulling back like a frightened child it was time she made her choice either open up her soul heart mind and thoughts or leave him be the other was the option she did not want to take. She did not want to lose him and did not want to push him either but in all honest the ground she was standing on was shaky as was. All of the sudden a text came through free for dinner if you want I will be here if you are free to join me. She swallowed hard was this her chance to tell him everything face to face. Could she do it face to face? She raced around the house locating her clothes as she knew what she wanted to wear and of course there was a set time limit as always she pulled on the nylons as if they were a set of jeans sliding them over the metal cuffs that were still around her ankles. As she slipped up the skirt and shoved her feet int the heels sitting by the door she simply pulled the top over her still bound breasts clamped with the clover clamps that he had snugged onto her nipple over an hour ago. The metal bracelets on her wrist banged on the computer desk as she reached for her keys and the collar was still around her neck but she did not care this is who she was and this was her chance to say what she needed to say. She raced out to the car and hopped in starting it instantaneously. The motor roared to life as if feeling her need for lightening speed. Time was ticking away and she knew he did not like to be kept waiting . Her foot hit the gas as soon as she let go off the brake she was not going to let this chance pass her by again. She weaved around the traffic as if it were standing still she knew she was going to fast she knew if she got caught she would be late so she slowed down just a touch and took one of the many shortcuts that she knew in the city. With in ten minutes from getting the text she arrived at the restaurant that he said he would be at and she straightened her clothes and quickly clipped up her hair exposing her neck and the collar that still sat in place. she spotted his vehicle and he sat in tapping his fingers on the steering wheel something he did when he was agitated while on the phone. Slowly she stepped out of her car and locked the door and walked over to his vehicle and stood quietly outside his door with her hands behind her back silently waiting as if she were a marble statue placed there. He motions her to go inside and wait there so she carefully walks away with her head lowered slightly she opens the door to the restaurant and waits patiently for the host to seat her at a table for two she quietly asks the host for a secluded table in the corner away from others as if it was a normal request. Immediately she orders two sprites with two glasses of water and sits quietly at the table with her eyes lowered . She hears his steps approach the table and she knows he is standing there she quickly but gracefully as if she were a dancer stands and moves aside allowing him to choose his seat as she looks to the ground after he has seated himself she quietly whispers to him in a tone that is barely audibility “Master may she join you at the table” it was the first time she had addressed him as such in a public setting. His eyes glance at her and slowly he motions with his hands for her to sit in the chair across from him and says “yes please do”
He flips through the menu as she sits there silent already knowing what he will order for himself it will be a brute with fries and gravy on the side something simple and plain. He asks in a tone “do you know what are you having?”
“ What ever you order for me Master is fine” the hesitation in her voice is no longer there as the words slide easily from her lips.
She feels his gaze on her his hand reaches across the table and touches her chin lightly lifting it to see her eyes are complaisant and very much full of contentment. As the waitress approaches the table he orders his food and states with ease that the lady will have the same with a salad instead of the fries with the dressing on the side . As the waitress leaves his hand slowly reaches down and places it lightly on hers and says “you have permission to speak freely what is on your mind until the meal is finished. “ she looks up at him and smiles slightly as she is not sure where to start she looks at him and slowly tries to form the words in her mind that has no officially gone blank as if the writers have forgotten what to put there for her to say “ I am scared to speak what is on my mind Master she starts off with this ground is so familiar and safe but unfamiliar and shaky she feels if she makes a wrong move it will cave beneath her swallowing her whole yet she feels if she stands still she will never go any further than she has out of the fear of disappointing you Master.” she gasps for a breath as her hands slowly shake “ she wishes to fall at your feet every day and worship them and the mere sight of you causes her heart to race beyond belief it is something she has felt only once before and that lead her to sever pain and disappointment but yet she want to be there with her whole heart. Her eyes dart down to hide the look of fear to continue on as his hand gently brushes hers. “ Master my heart craves to be with you my mind constantly thinks of you and my soul feels so lost when you are not here. I have hurt you in the past and I know that there is no way that the trust I broke can ever be the same.”
He looks at her shaking and simply states “ I see”
she lowers her self slowly out of her chair and sinks to the floor at his side and looks up at him Master this is where I wish and desire to be serving you and pleasing you in every way possibly known to man kind my place is at your feet kneeling worshiping them forever taking your word as the word to follow and believe your directions are my guidance your body to worship every chance you allow me to do so if you feel I am worthy of doing so..... you are the one I kneel too and will kneel to no other it is you my heart mind and body desire Master to feel the gentleness of your touch the sting of your crop the caress of your belt the ease of your body with in mine the breath of your life against my skin. My body is but yours to command change alter claim own and do with as you please. Her head lowers and drops slowly kissing his feet. She does not move a muscle at all. Her lips laying against the foot of his shoe.
He looks at her in the middle of this restaurant amongst people who she did not know she knelt down and beared her soul and her mind and her feeling she knelt down and faught against all beliefs to stay quiet on who she was and still remains at here at his feet on her knees unmoving. He places a hand on her shoulder and tells her to take her seat and slowly raises her head to see her eyes full of fear and terror. He knows she has took that plunge into something she is so unsure but sure of but is she ready can she let go and trust in him like she has no other.
The waitress arrives with their food and asks if there is anything else she can get for them and he simply replies no thank you.
He looks at her and simply states “please do eat we will talk after.”
she slowly plays with her food eating small bites hear and there taking her time as he watches her every move as if studying the ever inch of her actions. The waitress returns and he asks her to pack the food to go and takes the bill. He stands slowly and tells her to wait for the food to return as he needs to go make a call.
He pays and walks slowly out of the restaurant quickly dialing his cell phone as he goes she waits patiently for the food and slowly heads out the door after him. As she steps out side he tells her to go home and take the food with her as he has a couple of things that he has to do and that he will stop by in a hour or so. She heads to her car slowly worried concerned that she has disappointed him and fears that her actions may have cost her her happiness once again............................. slowly she gets into her car and starts the car as the engine fires and roars to life she see him pull out of the parking lot as she puts the car into gear and heads towards the now empty house feeling scared and worried but less stressed as she has said what it was that she desired even though it was done very publicly in a place that was defiantly out of her comfort zone.

As she pulls up to the house she takes a deep breath his car is all ready there and he is not in the car she had given him a key long ago but she knew he had never used it in the past yet now he was inside her house waiting for her she shut off the engine and slowly opened the door gaining her composure as she walked to the house carrying the food. Her hand reaches to open the door the knob feels cold lifeless in her hand as she slowly turns it a half a rotation to the left and takes a huge deep breath just as she begins to open the door as if it moves in slow motion millimeter by millimeter she see the candles are lite on the coffee table and that he has removed his shoes and is sitting on the the couch he motions her and tells her to close the door directly behind her. Her heart races she breaths deeply and does as instructed once the door as closed she locks it knowing that it should be done to ensure their privacy. He tells her to remove her clothing and then place the food in the fridge and then come to him as she wishes to.
Her steps are unsteady as she stands at the door and undressed before him carefully taking each piece of clothing off folding it and placing it neatly on the boot rack shelving unit by the door. Her hands shake as she unrolls the nylons from her skin the crop marks on her breast still red and puff lay witness to the earlier part of the day with him as her breasts spill forward the chain of the clamps hanging down pulling the nipples ever so slightly lower. She takes the nylons and with a gentle caress over them slips them off her feet and gently pulls the rolls out laying them straight and folding them as if they were as important as any other piece of clothing she had put on carefully she retrieves the food from the shelf and takes them over to the fridge and places them inside and closes the door standing there for what seems like forever she takes the slowest breath as she drops to her hands and knees and lowers her head down. Her movement is slow and graceful carefully calculated as she crawls on all fours her head bowed down to the floor. The lines of her body moving gracefully towards you with elegance and pose and grace as if she had all the confidence of a well trained slave she stops just short of your feet and lowers her head and bring her lips to your left foot kissing it lightly and then slowly kisses your right foot just as tenderly and gingerly as if it were a feather being laid on your skin . Slowly she stretches her harms out in front of her lowered head and places them flat on the floor as she brings her head to the floor resting her forehead on the coolness from it the eases over her shaking skin as she waits for your acknowledgment to rise and kneel at your feet.
He rises slowly and walks around behind he seeing that when she dressed she had left in the toys that you so roughly had placed in her before you left. A eerie smile slowly spreads across your face and your hand runs the length of her back towards her neck. Slowly you return to your seat and tell her to kneel at your side as you watch her gracefully rise to her knees and sit silently there as you slowly raise her eyes to meet yours seeing the crystalline tears pool against the honey golden eyes in panic hope fear bearing no witness or hidden walls to her feelings for you.

to be continued............................

I am not judged by the number of times I fail, but by the number of times I succeed: and the number of times I succeed is in direct proportion to the number of times I fail and keep trying.