Regweld

In little less then a month, I find myself separated from my wife then reunited with her...then now in a relationship with a new slave and the boyfriend of the wife...

Leading a household isn't so much the concern...ensuring everyone feels equal and respected as well as content has so far been an interesting balancing act. 

I've often thought of having a family situation like this...though I'm not sure if poly would be the right word for it as we are not having people come through our group or casual relationships but rather selecting those who get along well with the already established members. 

As far as more then the four of us...I suppose that would be a possibility for the future if the right folks come along that mesh well with us.

Found a few social sites to start exploring...chat rooms...board games at a local bar...fun times abound...but so little time to explore...

Ah...time for a new beginning...where to start exploring...

Its been so long since I've had really good friends that I had actually forgotten what it was like to actually do something with more then just family. It's kinda nice but definitely doesn't take the place of a family that loves and supports me.

Is it too much to ask to have the best of everything? Course, you need to mix in a bit of challenge and struggle from time to time to make you appreciate having all the good things in life.

Never a perfect balance...in life.

A few more days gone by...lots of things getting brought up from the past...going out a few times this week has really helped to clear my head...if only I had done it years sooner...both the going out and the cleaning up stuff...

Screw-ups abound....but picking up the pieces after and moving forward is a good thing...it just takes time and can often hurt to move through...and can be incredibly difficult to get motivated at times...

but with the right friends and support...anything can happen...especially when we finally want it bad enough to stretch out our arm and take it.

not as big a screw-up as I thought but definitely not on a good road...

Found out that I'm not on the same page as my best friend either...I will have to work on that very hard...and it won't be pleasant either...such is life, espeically after a few bad choices....

heh, a few...that's a laugh...

year after year...the same mistakes time and again...I used to be so wise...but now...I suppose I never was wise...only naive...

repeat it and repeat it again...year after year...

At least the salary increases but without constant reminders of wanting to improve one's life...it hardly ever gets better on its own. 

So often times we forget where we've been and are simply doomed to repeat it when times get tough or things just plain get boring...

Keeping things interesting or at least mixing them up from time to time can definitely help keep those funks from coming around too often. And having a fantastic little girl to share my life with doesn't hurt one bit!!

Thanks to the good advice from the folks around here, I'm doing much better...

Lost...

So often I hear submissive folk utter the words that they feel lost...seldom do I hear a dominant utter those words...though for years I've felt the same...perhaps even fear...

I no longer look for a third to entertain my little one...she has grown up and if I look at all, I look for one to hold and cuddle with and promise to take care of...though that promise hardly seems to hold any weight now...

I do take care of my little one though she is no longer my little one...months ago, perhaps even years ago she stopped being my little one and grew up...not because she needed to, though perhaps she did, but because I did not want to raise her children.

She introduced me to being who I was with her but over time, I took on roles I was not ready to take and in doing so...lost who I was...fear and doubt crept into my mine until it was consumed. Now I sit alone and wonder what to do...I can almost sense what to do but it just isn't quite there. perhaps it is there and it just isn't ready to come out.

Perhaps it is and I'm just not ready for it to come out. I still doubt myself, even to the point of dinner plans and every-day life.

Would it help to have someone to hold me and tell me it will be alright? is that really what I want or just what sounds good right now...?

Once upon a time, it seemed as though I didn't need that but when real life caught up to me, I just couldn't trust myself and eventually began questioning everything I did...and still do...

~Uncle Reg~

so much has changed...yet so little has changed...break in at home and the like...family matters change yet somehow are yet just as expected as kids leaving the home and coming back again. 

cryptic? yep...well, that's life...

Ah...what to do now...where to find self-motivation...its one thing to know what needs to be done and be too lazy to do it...its another to find something to motivate yourself from your current location...