RedSpider

I've just moved to Berkeley, and damn if I didn't get a new boyfriend already! I live just off the BART line, and couldn't be happier. I loved Tucson, but I've never felt I belonged anywhere as much as I feel I belong in the City. I'm finally taking part in things I've only ever heard about, and finally getting a life going... yeah, a sex life too. Still happy as hell to make some friends. Yes, friends with benefits. That means playing with or without my partner in crime, although I really do love having him there because he makes me feel very secure. I was tired of walking the road alone. I needed a pervy sidekick, and here he came. We are now Ray & Ray... Ray Squared... Ray to the power of two. Or Ray Ray if you will. Well, on here he goes by 12 Volt.


Until he came along, I'd had absolutely no experience in the leather world. I've been partnered to people who claimed to be really big into leather, two self-professed leather "daddies" both over a year each, and somehow was still waiting on my first experience in real leather play. Can somebody please explain that to me? I was beginning to think this whole thing was just imaginary or some kind of huge joke at my expense. I'm so glad I came to the Bay.


I love me some daddybears with the grey beards and the evil eyes that pierce through you with a 'I wanna fuck you in half!', although I usually end up fucking them instead because I love pounding a daddy. But I am finding my types and desires are wider than I can actually describe. Beards are a must, but I just never know anymore.



I suffer from PTSD and consider bullying and homophobia to be extremely important issues of our community. I fight like crazy through social phobia because I don't want it to beat me, but it'll never be an easy fight for me. For this reason, when I see people who don't want to live their life and experience things... yeah you know, those queens who've done it all and act like it's just soooo yesterday to enjoy events (even though they go to all of them just to pretend they're above it)... well to me, who never had that privilege, it feels like Christopher Reeves might've felt if he heard someone whining about having to walk. Life is for living. You've plenty of time to act over everything when you're dead, and that kind of attitude makes me wish you were.


And I don't take it lightly that we should be not "flaunting our sexuality" out there. Screw that. I'm unashamed and I am all about the right to be out there as myself. Ergo no headless people will receive responses from me, and no, I don't want to play with the "curious" who want to be discreet. If you're just gonna have some gay sex and then go back to your disguise doing nothing to advance gay rights and equality, you're only helping to advance the shame of homosexuality, and you don't deserve to even taste the benefits. Out! OUT I SAY!!!


I really just want to have a good time with people and have friends, fuck my brains out, party naked, rock out with my cock out, and not feel lonely all the damned time.

I'm a reading, Barnes & Noble loving, coffee slurping kinda guy. I consider myself a rather intelligent intellectual-wannabe. That may not sound logical, but it's Raylogical... in other words, that'll make sense if you get to know Ray (that's me).


I'm as nonreligious as it gets, to the point where I'm even allergic to things spiritual. So much of it seems tremendously pretentious or selfish... as long as I get saved I don't care what happens to this world... what sense does that make? And saved from what? It's only because I've seen a lot of disasters result from spirituality, and I really don't want repeats. Pagans know how to believe without grieving, and therefore they're my kinda freaky people. To the pagan, all acts of pleasure are a ritual for Her, the Goddess. Do I believe in a Goddess? No. But I believe in pleasure, baby, and if there is a deity of any kind, if that deity doesn't revel in the thought of us living in pleasure, that deity can suck it.


I believe in the Trevor Project, and I believe the gay community has GOT to get cracking about helping the young gays out there, because I know what I had to go through to get out of my mess, and I can imagine there are many who are worse off than me. We can't call ourselves a gay community if we forget to care for each other like a COMMUNITY. Look up the word, you'll find that's inherent in its meaning.


I don't have ADD. I have ADOS = Attention Deficit Ooh Shiny! Or okay, ADOF (oooh furry! because furry things trump shiny things any day.) That's just a joke. My attention span is just fine. My memory on the other hand... I have CRAFT... Can't Remember A Fucking Thing. If I don't recognize you (and you're someone I should), don't take that personally. Look up "agnosia" because it's something I've suffered my whole life, and it's probably a dissociative issue that goes along with my PTSD.


A wise man once said, "Never miss an opportunity to pee." I add to that, whenever possible, pee on the earth and stop living under the illusion that you're meant to be cut off from all things natural. The world was not made for man, and man was not made to rule it. There is no one-right-way for people to live.


And...... um....... I think that's all I have to say. I'll think up more later, most likely. Ah well, enjoy yourselves, regardless if someone else is enjoying you with you. Because life is too short to not get in as many messy, screaming orgasms as you can.