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We had another 'play date'.... much more intense than the first one. 

I met him, again in the van (which I love). We parked and got in the back and he sat in a chair he had brought with... he told me to kneel in front of him and take off his shoes, so I did. Then his belt, unbuckle his pants... I did. I took his cock out and asked to suck it... he let me...  He told me to gag myself on it... I tried so hard. He pulled my head back and spit in my face.. he made me open my mouth and spit in there too. He told me how worthless I am. He made me tell him how worthless I am. I sucked his cock more... I did gag a few times,  its involuntary almost to pull yourself away from something you're gagging on.

He was disappointed with that. He told me to lay down and take my pants and panties off... he used my panties as a blindfold. I automatically put my legs together, I'm always nervous about what he's going to do to me. He told me to put my knees apart and I felt him put something cold against my pussy.  It was big but I didn't know what it was until he started to pump it up. I had NEVER experienced anything like it before. He pumped my clit up until he told me it was all swollen and red. Its an intense feeling... so intense it starts to ache... then turns into severe pain. I begged him to take it off, but instead he made me hold my legs up with my hands.

Then, as I was waiting to see what would happen next, I felt a sharp sting on the bottom of my foot. He was whipping my feet with a long, flat, wooden stick. I yelled out 'ow' or something I think... he told me I should be saying 'thank you' so I did, every time he hit me... I said thank you... as my clit was aching and my feet stung... I started to want it to be over. I always ask myself why I wanted this in the first place.

He took the suction device off my clit finally.... he never rubs it or gives me pleasure in any way... he does fuck my pussy now and then, but now that he's used my ass, I don't think that will be happening anymore. I felt him push it back against my pussy to pump it up again, I told him 'no' and I tried putting my legs together, but I got my feet whipped again. I pulled my legs up again and let him do what he wanted. I wasn't even tied up, it was so humiliating to know I was letting this happen without a fight. He pumped it up and then let me put my legs down while my pussy again started to throb. He knelt by my face and forced me to suck his dick again.. I did. 

Then, he went back to work on my pussy... he released the pump. I said 'thank you' for that. I felt him push against my ass and I said 'no'. I didn't just say it, I screamed it. He started to push in and was not satisfied with how it was going. Then, I felt him push a finger into my asshole fast... I told him to stop, I begged him to. He told me I should be thanking him for lubing it up for me. 

He pushed in again and it hurt so bad. If I hadn't had the blindfold on, there would have been a lot of tears. I was sobbing. He told me I needed to be quiet because we were parked in a semi public place... I just let him fuck me. I just took it in my ass like the slut I am. He told me when he came, the pain would be over. I cried the entire time and begged him to stop. I'm not great with pain... There was a time earlier in the session that he used a dildo of some sort to fuck my pussy... it hit my cervix.. he would push it in hard and then ask me how it felt. He made me lick it off. 

This session was full of pain and humiliation... at the end, he told me to get dressed and then he laid down... he said he wanted a massage. So, I started with his back, I went to school for cosmetology and we actually learn a lot about massage... I think I have a little talent in that area and apparently he thought so too :) Yay! I was really happy to have impressed him, I gave him a full body massage, arms, legs, hands, feet, front, back... then that was it. Away I went... until next time. 

This was two days ago and my feet are now bruised... my ass is incredibly sore... I keep asking myself why I do this, but in truth I can't wait to do it again.

So, the sadist who takes care of me has decided He wants me to journal about our experiences together..  I don't mind it, I like to write, I hope you find them as fun and interesting as I do. I'm still learning how I feel about the whole thing, and He seems to know what I need, so, here we go:

This was our third encounter... but the first two were a while ago and within a few days of each other. Since learning how we both really feel about the situation, this was our first time playing. 

Previous sessions have mostly consisted of Him choking me with His cock and cumming inside me and leaving me to deal with it. My hands always tied together while I was used. 

This time, we met in His van (a cargo van) I have come to associate it with Him... I get excited when I see this van.  I climbed in and put my things down on the seat, He told me to lay down. I did, He laid next to me and told me to suck His cock. I started and as I was sucking it, He started putting zipties around my wrists and then He fastened them behind me. 

I tested them, and I wasn't going anywhere, this was different, He usually would put them in front of me, but we had talked about this.  He pushed my head down and I felt His big cock start to choke me. I always panic when I can't breathe, He must know this by now. But, He likes to see me panic... when He finally let go, after I had done a fair share of gagging, I sucked in a big breath of air. I was already asking myself why I came here, and let Him do these things to be. The idea of being helpless really turns me on. This could be the problem.

He pushed my head down again and I tried hard to not let Him shove his cock down my throat. He got frustrated with me and told me to lay on my back. I remember hearing Him say 'I guess we'll have to do this the old fashioned way' and as He said it, He straddled my face. I knew what was coming. He told me to open my mouth, so I did, just a sliver. I felt His cock ram down my throat again... I tried to turn my head, slide down and away from him... anything to get His cock out of my throat so I could breathe. He finally let up and I begged him to stop. He answered with 'I'm not going to stop.' plain as that. 

Then, He asked me if I knew what was coming next. I told Him 'Yes'. 'What?' He asked me. 'You're going to fuck my ass.' I answered. This was a big deal for me. Until now, I had never done anal. I'm 24 and I had never had a dick up my ass...

He had told me to put pictures up on here the day before we saw each other, He told me I would be punished if I didn't. Well, I didn't and still haven't. I can't decide if I kind of like the punishment or if I'm worried about the wrong people seeing the pictures. But, anyway...

He pulled my jeans and then panties off and threw them aside.. I wiggled again, to see if I could pull a hand free. He slid his dick in my pussy and told me I was lucky I was wet, I was going to need that. Then I felt him press it against my ass, I was terrified, I knew it was going to hurt. I asked Him again to stop but I was ignored. He pushed harder and mentioned how tight my virgin ass was.. I felt Him go in. He fucked me for a little while, I was in pain and don't remember the whole thing, but he did tell me I was lucky He was ready to cum. He came in my ass and then pulled out and was done. I put my legs down and felt tears roll down my cheeks. He knelt next to my face and asked if I was going to listen next time He told me to do something... I answered 'yes' and He told me to suck His dick.

All I could think was that it had just been in my ass. I told Him 'no' but when He wants something, He gets it. I sucked his dick, luckily, He didn't make me do it for long. Then He told me to sit up, He cut my hands free, I got dressed and I left. 

This is similar to our last couple experiences. I've never experienced true sadism until now. I like it...