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im just a girl who happens to be slave minded and mannered. im seeking my love, my heart , my Master, my all. He should be confident, responsible, aware and proud of Himself.
a few things id like from you....
to get to know you before you go assuming im going to give myself to you..when and if that happens it will be a joint decision
please keep in mind im not looking for casual players, i can go to a bar for that if i want that sort of thing, which i dont
dont think you have the right to call me "slut" "whore" or whatever terminology you like because of my orientation, that right will be yours when/if im yours and not until.if you think otherwise you will simply be blocked. its not admirable nor respectful to think you have the right.
please dont think because of my orientation im stupid because im probably 10 times smarter and alot more pickier than you, im not desperate to find an owner nor will i settle for any inept undesirable.
my pic is up and id expect the same of you. i will not just give you my msn/yahoo id just because you corresponded to me and call yourself a Dom. If you're genuine and we seem to get along or have similar interests in common through conversing here via mail or chatroom, id like to speak with you directly on the phone. im also one to keep myself for my potential Master so you will not see me on cam, im only an exhibitionist/whore/slave for the man who owns me.
im a private person and will take my time in getting to know you. whether it be here or at munches/parties or at a place of public. private also meaning..no i wont send you a full face picture until i see that you are potentially appealing to me, if this displeases you, thats not my problem. its how i am and i wont waver for anyone. im sure my potential Master would like to know and find it pleasing that i havent plastered myself about the net.
im not...and i repeat im not seeking overseas in any way shape or form. how can one give if i cannot touch or be touched in return?
im looking for my life partner/Master, to have it all with, love marriage and yes children, preferrably just ours if i am so blessed, sounds like a big ask but yes i expect/want it all.
so if you fall into the catogory that i seek and you think you are what im seeking, please write. i'll be upfront if i think you arent suited, so dont be insulted by my refusal as im saving us both the time and effort. please be aware im no easy conquest or a yes girl just because you claim to be a Dom. but if you are to become my Dom then thats a different matter.
i have had 2 longterm D/s relationships in the past, my first when i was 31, my 2nd ended early last yr(3yrs long) so i have lived and experienced, id like my potentiam to have had some or similar experience.
ps. i keep fit and well, im finacially secure and i expect no less from my owner i seek. sorry but you need to be no older than 40's (that for all you out there not into maths means under 50) i'm not comfortable with my potiential being any less than 5yrs my junior.
p.p.s im looking for Dominants only, no switches/subs and definately straight MONO guys please only!!im not into poly sorry its not my thing(the reason for my ending the 2nd D/s relationship).
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she cried outloud or so she thought the following
please dont tell me what it is you're looking for
please dont entice me to be other than who i can be
allow me to shine and grow and feel the freedom i was born with
give me your hand and raise me up to gaze upon your sweet face
wipe the tears that stream down my cheek
and smile at me in all my essence i was given at birth
if you can give me this
i ask no more from you
but will give you everything within
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i cease searching today. i am happy i am doing so. the reason for this is not because i have found my One but because i made a decision of heart to stop looking. it isnt my part to search , but to wait until He is ready to take me for His.
in the meanwhile i shall laugh , run and enjoy the beauty the world has to offer. i will continue to keep myself pure and in shape and i will keep my virtues safe until He comes. i not only owe this to myself but also to Him.
i am starting a new sport this week and also taking back up my sculpture.
to those who are gracious to me with their words i thankyou again for your thoughts and friendships. to those who assume,claim or have false expectations towards me i can say i wish you well in your search and hope you find clarity.
take a moment in time to breath and enjoy life.
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someone who i hadnt heard from in awhile but i had been thinking of him surprised me immensely when i logged into my messages and there he was. with words so sweet. ty for finding your way back to write me. xxxxx
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in the lovely city of Adelaide with my Dad (yes my vanilla dad not the other type) until Friday. i was asked today by one of his friends where i would want to be if i could choose any place on earth. my answer to my Dads surprise was, on the floor at the feet of the One I loved. the conversation went unexpectedly quiet. my Dad tried to hide my answer the best he could by explaining to his friend, shes waiting for her Love. Lol sometimes Dads just know what to say. but its so true! that little patch right at His feet on the floor, no other place could give me more joy. |
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constant changes occur. what happens to us in the past brings us step by step closer to our destiny. i wait, sometimes patiently sometimes like a girl who wants that new dolly now! but i wait, knowing that i need to, have to, until he comes. i maybe waiting forever. He may not even be out there but i owe it to myself to wait. yes i want my cake with icecream and cherries on the top, with nuts and sprinkles. in the meanwhile i will constantly improve myself and learn and live so when He arrives i am ready and at my best. life may not be how you want it to be right at this very second but it is up to you to change that. be in control of yourself and your life and see it as the blessing it is. discover as much as you can whenever you can, never let opportunities or adventure pass you by. look at the beauty of the world and smile. Take a deep breath and think how lucky you are to see its glory.
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i had the day off today. i went for my walk with the dogs and had a quick early lunch with Dad then i had the rest of the afternoon to myself. i came on here to read some of the recent journal entries and to my surprise i came across PoetWereWolfs latest entry How To Handle A Woman. wow! What a beautiful beautiful beautiful entry. If the world had more of him a site like this wouldnt be needed. ty for the lovely words PoetWereWolf
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today my journal is from a message i sent to someone whos been talking with me here, a friend id like to say from NZ. it meant alot to me that i needed to post it here for myself.
"i had the best weekend with my Dad . it was what was needed and it allowed me to feel like a little girl again with no troubles in the world and my Dad there protecting me. We had our moments of tears and sobbing and reminising of past times of Mum but i think it was healing for us both. We both took a step back in time i think for that weekend.
thats the most important thing about being a parent, to be there available with open arms. it doesnt matter how big a problem it maybe but it always seems to reduce considerably when advised by my parents. i think myself doubly lucky now that i still have my Dad. He's the only man i know who knows me well. i know i can confide in Him in anything and i know He will advise me on what He thinks is the best direction for me.
i talked to Him while we were away camping last weekend about my search. He sat there listening uninterupting until i was finished. He didnt judge me nor warn me off from what my heart desires/seeks but tenderly brushed my cheek and said, "you know you can have all that, all you need to find is a man who understands you and your heart and loves you til his last breath. wow!! if it were only that simple! but i thought about it and you know what? it is that simple."
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well ive decided that im going to put more time away for camping/fishing. i had an absolute ball! i felt like a grubby kid again! yay! i do love getting messy. on the serious note though it was what i needed. i feel like a balance came.
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i got up this morning early to walk the dogs down to the park as i decided i needed it more than them. it was such a beautiful morning out and i didnt want to miss it so instead of heading to the gym i walked down to the park. i think it may become a regular thing at least a few times a week before i go to work, i can do gym in the afternoon anyways. Dad and i are going camping this weekend. oh my god i havent been in ages so im looking forward to it. we're taking the boat with us too !
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please understand that i am going through the recent loss of my mum. for me to think anywhere along the lines of committing to someone at this point would be unwise, i am happy to converse with you still but please dont require a decision from me of that importance when my mind is clouded with grief and my heart broken. why any Dom would expect this of me at this point i dont know. would you buy a broken doll from a toy store and think you had value in your purchase? please let me mend in my own time and let me decide equally with you if youre my choice. if you cant wait with patience then please walk ahead your own path, dont judge me because at this point i cannot hold your hand and walk beside you as you deserve. |
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i cried this morning as i woke. i cried an uncontrollable sob that seemed to go on forever. why is it that our tears and emotions sometimes are unstoppable? i cried and i thought of my mum, how i wish she were with us still. i wished she was there this morning in the kitchen greeting me as she did when i came home to visit. with her beautiful smile and arms opened outwards welcoming me. and i look at my dad and the pain that shows from loosing his love. and it makes me hurt even more for his loss. it is a sad journey to loose someone, i have a void i cant fill and i pray that in time memeories will happily replace that void. i know what love is and i know what pain is. generally these two feelings have been my pleasure but today they are unpleasant reminders of my broken heart.
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today i sat out in the garden with my dad to eat breakfast. its so nice to occassionally take time out to smell the roses. i sat there enjoying good food, good surroundings in the company of one of the greatest men i have ever met. im so lucky he is my father. i sat and watched him and studied him and it made my heart smile. if i find a man with half of his qualities i shall be a content girl. take time out to appreciate the men of this world, those who are the fathers, sons, brothers,uncles and husbands/boyfriends of us.
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think of all you have in the world that is yours and not what you hope to have. love what you see you have within your grasp for if it slips away will you be able to hold it again?
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i wait with patience. i pray for the opportunity our paths may cross and i sigh as my heart aches for the loss of my mum, my dads sadness and the loss of feeling complete yet again with someone looking down upon me. Beauty in His eyes at what He sees before Him. His girl.
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when you hold someone close to you and feel their breath slip away it can be one of the most impacting of all times. its the most helpless feeling in the world but at the same time so powerful. this in a way is similar to how i feel when i am owned. im still looking for my One, i may or may not find him, in the meanwhile i'll go on living and loving life until he comes my way.
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back in perth after the passing of my mum a few weeks ago. when you loose someone so dear to you it gives you insight to what is really important. thankyou to all who have sent me their prayers during this time it was much needed and appreciated. im undecided as to where i will be in the near future but i know that at this time my dad needs my support, he is the most important thing in my life and im here for him. in the meantime i will make the deccision to either move back here permantly or return to sydney. thanks once again to those who sent me their wishes, xxxxxxxx
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well im back in beautiful sydney though im not sure for how long. as those of you know my mum is not well and looks like i may be spending a bit more time in perth soon to see her and my dad through this difficult time. just trying to figure out the best options for my family and myself atm so please be patient if ive been conversing with you, i havent forgotten about you! just been distracted with matters of the heart. xxxxxx
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thanks to all the warm wishes and thoughts from those to my mums recovery.please if you have been writing with me i ask a little patience at this time as my mind and energy is centered around her and my dad and immediate family members. rxx
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over in Perth atm due to illness in the family
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Im definately NOT looking for anyone overseas thanks..get it? |
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ok please all Sirs out there. dont troll me for my sister if im too old lol shes also older than me and happily married so no chance there either and how desparate are you? and remember sirs im looking for my future one to be in his 40s no older, i dont care how experienced you claim you are, im looking for someone around my age, 4 yrs younger or up to 10 yrs older, no more thanks. and once again i'll explain why im not givin you pics or my msn addy....i dont know you well enough and i 'll do it in my time when i think youre suitable for what i seek. and the most important issue......i want my future Him to have something valued and pure. im sorry if any of you think its unfair but thats me |
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went to hellfire for the first time on fridy night with my vanilla sister lol. quite an eyeopener for her and she may come with me again, so she says lol. i want to say thanks for the warm welcome i received from the few gentlemen Doms i encountered there. its good to see that such men exist still, and yes you have resurrected my faith in my search and i will be getting back in contact with you lol. you know who im talking about! coffee on friday perhaps if your free? xxx |
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