PRE-RAMBLE: if you can't be bothered to read, then i will not bother to respond to anyone who asks stupid questions of me.  For my purposes, this distinction includes stipulations i have made abundantly clear here, such as hard limits, my current inability to relocate/travel, my personal stand on camming which is NO thanks, the fact that i dont care if you think im a dude im still not calling you from my personal phone to prove it. I'm not a dude. there are ways to prove it besides camming and giving out my phone number. if you can't respect that, sod off in every conceivable way possible, because i'm not interested & you are not someone i care to know, i assure you!! to those recent morons who tell me i'm missing out, i respond with the heartiest of ROTFLOLs and in between giggling & laughing at your expense, i may have thrown up a little in my mouth. (because you are a walking joke, just not a very good one)

to the sane and normal people out there who understand dominance does not start with the first sentence, please ask and if we have interests in common i will try to answer honestly--i am looking for eventual r/t only so be prepared to prove yr for real and legit, sorry not here to chat endlessly about someday meeting.  if you aren't local or willing to come here within a reasonable length of time after determining mutual interest, kindly, please, piss off.  i really just don't need anymore online friends i can never meet or see--even if its only ever for friendship. i'm sorry,  but i'm done playing online games.  sure they can be fun but after a long while they simply grow tiresome.

i'm not racist, but i've never dated or been with a black man--not for lack of interest, but and at this point in my life it's just not something i can just jump into trying right now.  as i'm not here loooking for any online buddies or pen pals, even though it may make me look racist, i just want to be honest and not waste your valuable time.  living as i do in the bible thumping south, with kids of my own and caring for an elderly mother, well it puts an added complication on a relationship and i'm sorry but i don't have it in me to invite any more complications, and again i am TRULY sorry if that offends.  its not my intent. someday when my life is truly mine again that could change. but for now my complicated glass is more than full.

i am also not seeking any poly situations, if you couldn't tell from my "actively seeking" criteria.  so if you have a lady already, i'm NOT into it.

i don't mind multiple partners in a scene, occasionally but not in the relationship.

additionally, i know there's ton of hotter women out there but i guarantee you there are also hotter men.  so, for this to work between us you need to be reasonably height/weight proportionate, no more than 10-20 pounds over average and preferably with a full head of hair,  but none on yr face.  also please don't message me if yr much under 30, that's already really my lowest preferred age. younger guys are super hot but too young makes me feel like a creeper or a pedo and i'm so not that. also please don't be more than ten years older unless you REALLY don't look it.  i'm just not attracted to daddy types and have never  been a fan of the daddy scene, or any incest play. sir, lord, master, all fine but i only had one "daddy" and i did not want another nor did i want to have sex with him.  so unless you care to pay for my school and housing with no sex strings other than me calling you daddy, like a father would, lol i think you'd have a better shot at me calling you adolf.

soooooo tired of the talky talking talkers.   i don't want to meet you on yahoo to discuss what im wearing or not wearing while you jerk it.  i don't cam with anyone til i've met them in person and lived to tell the tale.   i am a real female/woman/girl, i'm  not a dude, and if you want to meet me i think my vagina will pass as proof enough at that, not to mention the scores of children i've had.  (i was a surrogate several times as well as having my own kids) yes i'm kinda hairy and yes my tits are small but they made milk when i had kids and between that and menstruating i'm fairly cons me for the lady roster. and worst case scenario i can refer you to the people i've met/played with in person on here, but only with their kind permission.

also with some soul searching, if yr looking for long term (which i am ultimately, even though i won't be free to move for about 4 years) you best not live someplace colder than memphis.  i left my wonderful canada years ago, and while i miss my home, i really do not miss cold and winter and there is zero chance of me ever moving back to someplace cold like that.  i let myself get caught up in the excitement of meeting someone new recently and it wasn't until i had a damn freezing night here that it hit me, where he was (northeast us) was not someplace i could stand being during the winter months.  so unless yr a snowbird, i'm sorry, i just really am not the one you seek. REGARDLESS of where you live this means i am not relocate-able for some time. So please for the love of god quit emailing me to ask.

i read someones blog where they chastised picky people for looking for mr goodbar. fuck you.

i want someone that stirs something in me automatically.  i know i am not entitled to it, nor do i expect it, but i sure as hell have every damn right to seek it out and want it.  so no, i'm not dropping my standards on no facial hair and weight and baldness and every other damn thing just cause somebody thinks they're a great dom/domme.   i like smart funny, (jon stewart/tosh/eddie izzard funny, not you might be a redneck blue collar hee haw funny.) i'm not a geo-physicist or a mensa member, but i'm not a drooling moron either. spelling counts.  this online intro thing is about it, so if you cant make it good and stir something in me or pique my interest online, don't even think i have time to waste trying to meet you in person. 

in my life i've been in love -real reciprocated love, about 6 times. if i can't make it to 7 then i prefer to be alone.

really.

i refuse to glom onto the first "tolerable" dom i meet nor anchor myself to some hapless yeoman just cause he matches "x" many boxes on some personal perv checklist.  it would be a disservice to us both.  i'm not interested in PREtENDINg to be interested just so that i'm not sad and alone.  it feels worse to pretend.

i've been lonely for the better part of 3 years and i'm basically used to it. in that time i have met several people and while they were certainly lovely people in their own rights, there was nothing at any of those meetings, no stirring in my heart or head or anywhere else that made me want to see them again.  love is something i can't compromise on.  i'm here on cm because i have some serious sexual deviations that i have not fully explored but feel could be as integral a part of me as my sassy wit and dry humor.  i'm not here for hookups or booty calls.  i am sub/slave to the core, but it's not a first come first served deal, this works only for/with the right person.  if your head hasn't exploded yet and you haven't been disqualified by my bitchlist list yet, maybe that person is you.

HOWEVER if you like the idea of making welts on me with a cane or whip marks, bruises and/OR extended canings/spankings or whippings hold the press, cause sorry charlie, we have nothing further to discuss.  not a pain slut and i'm really getting tired of people writing to me about desires that are clearly not mutual and frequently anathema to me.  if you don't have the courtesy and presence of mind to read my profile to get such questions answered before writing to me i assure you i wont have any qualms about deleting the message and ignoring you.  when i read a Dom or Dommes ' profile and see that they are seeking a young slim co-ed or busty asian beauty i don't write to inform them quit looking cause "even though im a 45 yr old mom whoo baby i am somehow that special exception." (i honor their honest upfront-ness and move along to someone looking for someone like me or at least someone in the same category)

the whole point of the profile is to screen out what you don't want and tell people what you DO . i'm not trying to be mean here, just honest. if you look like my dad or brother or santa claus, more power to you but i'm not gonna worship you as a master or even be attracted.  thats just how i roll.

don't be afraid to keep your standards.  of course keep them reasonable too, lol. i may have one taboo interest but that is it. don't write me about your incest or scat or pedo fantasies cause i don't want to hear about them. somebody somewhere else wants to and god bless you both, but keep me out of it.

my hard limits are just that, hard limits. don't ask me to give them up for anything, as i would never ask that of anyone else. i'm goofy and weird and a little bit out of shape. borderline cat lady and caring for my elderly mom and kids and still unemployed. i'm not polished or professional in my demeanor so i'm not looking to bag me a money man.  i just want someone i can adore.  i wish that for every legitimate person here. if you like my pictures, i'm glad, really, thank you.  that doesn't mean we have a connection. lastly, i don't care if you won the playboy magazine pussy eating contest 3 years running. that's not a good opener, filler, or closer with me. you may like it and that's cool, but i really do not care how good you have been told your tongue is, unless yr using it to tell me something from your word hole.  to quote A bard, (not THE) "i get my kicks above the waistline sunshine"--that is to say what i seek starts out with the mind and flows down from there, encompassing the body in a more natural progression of ownership.   i'm not like this (demanding, etc) when  i have a dom. meeting one online and chatting for 5 mins does not equal my obeisance to you. you should know the last dom i had was as close to perfect as i've known.  so if my standards are too high for you, it's ok, thanks for reading.  to accept anything less would be s disservice to the one who got me really started in this, and what i want is to be a credit to him.  (yes i get it, to him i'm just an ex, clearly not worthy, not the one he wanted perhaps too needy, too crazy, or even too absolutely gleefully enamoured of almost everything he did...but for me he is always going to be "it" --until the day, if i'm ever that lucky, i meet someone to take his place.  if not, i'm ok with it and grateful to have had that feeling, and these memories however brief, because i know some people never even get to taste that fleeting bliss. 

NEVER!! for reals!!, and that's waaay sadder than me being alone.

so i'm grateful.

when yr truly unlucky at love, being lucky at lust at least helps to ease the sting a little.  if all this seems terribly obsessive to you, so be it. but it's my opinion that a little obsessed is the nature of a sub/slave,  because by my definition, without a master, i'm incomplete.

and finally i'm not trying to offend i merely wish to be totally honest. if any of this offended you then you didn't understand and don't get me, and i wouldn't want you for that very important reason just to start....

PRE-RAMBLE: if you can't be bothered to read my profile, then i will not bother to respond to anyone who asks stupid questions of me.  For my purposes, this distinction includes stipulations i have made abundantly clear here, such as hard limits, my current inability to relocate/travel, my personal stand on camming which is NO thanks, the fact that i dont care if you think im a dude im still not calling you from my personal phone to prove it. I'm not a dude. there are ways to prove it besides camming and giving out my phone number. if you can't respect that, sod off in every conceivable way possible, because i'm not interested & you are not someone i care to know, i assure you!! to those recent morons who tell me i'm missing out, i respond with the heartiest of ROTFLOLs and in between giggling & laughing at your expense, i may have thrown up a little in my mouth. (because you are a walking joke, just not a very good one)

to the sane and normal people out there who understand dominance does not start with the first sentence, please ask and if we have interests in common i will try to answer honestly--i am looking for eventual r/t only so be prepared to prove yr for real and legit, sorry not here to chat endlessly about someday meeting.  if you aren't local or willing to come here within a reasonable length of time after determining mutual interest, kindly, please, piss off.  i really just don't need anymore online friends i can never meet or see--even if its only ever for friendship. i'm sorry,  but i'm done playing online games.  sure they can be fun but after a long while they simply grow tiresome.

i'm not racist, but i've never dated or been with a black man--not for lack of interest, but and at this point in my life it's just not something i can just jump into trying right now.  as i'm not here loooking for any online buddies or pen pals, even though it may make me look racist, i just want to be honest and not waste your valuable time.  living as i do in the bible thumping south, with kids of my own and caring for an elderly mother, well it puts an added complication on a relationship and i'm sorry but i don't have it in me to invite any more complications, and again i am TRULY sorry if that offends.  its not my intent. someday when my life is truly mine again that could change. but for now my complicated glass is more than full.

i am also not seeking any poly situations, if you couldn't tell from my "actively seeking" criteria.  so if you have a lady already, i'm NOT into it.

i don't mind multiple partners in a scene, occasionally but not in the relationship.

additionally, i know there's ton of hotter women out there but i guarantee you there are also hotter men.  so, for this to work between us you need to be reasonably height/weight proportionate, no more than 10-20 pounds over average and preferably with a full head of hair,  but none on yr face.  also please don't message me if yr much under 30, that's already really my lowest preferred age. younger guys are super hot but too young makes me feel like a creeper or a pedo and i'm so not that. also please don't be more than ten years older unless you REALLY don't look it.  i'm just not attracted to daddy types and have never  been a fan of the daddy scene, or any incest play. sir, lord, master, all fine but i only had one "daddy" and i did not want another nor did i want to have sex with him.  so unless you care to pay for my school and housing with no sex strings other than me calling you daddy, like a father would, lol i think you'd have a better shot at me calling you adolf.

soooooo tired of the talky talking talkers.   i don't want to meet you on yahoo to discuss what im wearing or not wearing while you jerk it.  i don't cam with anyone til i've met them in person and lived to tell the tale.   i am a real female/woman/girl, i'm  not a dude, and if you want to meet me i think my vagina will pass as proof enough at that, not to mention the scores of children i've had.  (i was a surrogate several times as well as having my own kids) yes i'm kinda hairy and yes my tits are small but they made milk when i had kids and between that and menstruating i'm fairly cons me for the lady roster. and worst case scenario i can refer you to the people i've met/played with in person on here, but only with their kind permission.

also with some soul searching, if yr looking for long term (which i am ultimately, even though i won't be free to move for about 4 years) you best not live someplace colder than memphis.  i left my wonderful canada years ago, and while i miss my home, i really do not miss cold and winter and there is zero chance of me ever moving back to someplace cold like that.  i let myself get caught up in the excitement of meeting someone new recently and it wasn't until i had a damn freezing night here that it hit me, where he was (northeast us) was not someplace i could stand being during the winter months.  so unless yr a snowbird, i'm sorry, i just really am not the one you seek. REGARDLESS of where you live this means i am not relocate-able for some time. So please for the love of god quit emailing me to ask.

i read someones blog where they chastised picky people for looking for mr goodbar. fuck you.

i want someone that stirs something in me automatically.  i know i am not entitled to it, nor do i expect it, but i sure as hell have every damn right to seek it out and want it.  so no, i'm not dropping my standards on no facial hair and weight and baldness and every other damn thing just cause somebody thinks they're a great dom/domme.   i like smart funny, (jon stewart/tosh/eddie izzard funny, not you might be a redneck blue collar hee haw funny.) i'm not a geo-physicist or a mensa member, but i'm not a drooling moron either. spelling counts.  this online intro thing is about it, so if you cant make it good and stir something in me or pique my interest online, don't even think i have time to waste trying to meet you in person. 

in my life i've been in love -real reciprocated love, about 6 times. if i can't make it to 7 then i prefer to be alone.

really.

i refuse to glom onto the first "tolerable" dom i meet nor anchor myself to some hapless yeoman just cause he matches "x" many boxes on some personal perv checklist.  it would be a disservice to us both.  i'm not interested in PREtENDINg to be interested just so that i'm not sad and alone.  it feels worse to pretend.

i've been lonely for the better part of 3 years and i'm basically used to it. in that time i have met several people and while they were certainly lovely people in their own rights, there was nothing at any of those meetings, no stirring in my heart or head or anywhere else that made me want to see them again.  love is something i can't compromise on.  i'm here on cm because i have some serious sexual deviations that i have not fully explored but feel could be as integral a part of me as my sassy wit and dry humor.  i'm not here for hookups or booty calls.  i am sub/slave to the core, but it's not a first come first served deal, this works only for/with the right person.  if your head hasn't exploded yet and you haven't been disqualified by my bitchlist list yet, maybe that person is you.

HOWEVER if you like the idea of making welts on me with a cane or whip marks, bruises and/OR extended canings/spankings or whippings hold the press, cause sorry charlie, we have nothing further to discuss.  not a pain slut and i'm really getting tired of people writing to me about desires that are clearly not mutual and frequently anathema to me.  if you don't have the courtesy and presence of mind to read my profile to get such questions answered before writing to me i assure you i wont have any qualms about deleting the message and ignoring you.  when i read a Dom or Dommes ' profile and see that they are seeking a young slim co-ed or busty asian beauty i don't write to inform them quit looking cause "even though im a 45 yr old mom whoo baby i am somehow that special exception." (i honor their honest upfront-ness and move along to someone looking for someone like me or at least someone in the same category)

the whole point of the profile is to screen out what you don't want and tell people what you DO . i'm not trying to be mean here, just honest. if you look like my dad or brother or santa claus, more power to you but i'm not gonna worship you as a master or even be attracted.  thats just how i roll.

don't be afraid to keep your standards.  of course keep them reasonable too, lol. i may have one taboo interest but that is it. don't write me about your incest or scat or pedo fantasies cause i don't want to hear about them. somebody somewhere else wants to and god bless you both, but keep me out of it.

my hard limits are just that, hard limits. don't ask me to give them up for anything, as i would never ask that of anyone else. i'm goofy and weird and a little bit out of shape. borderline cat lady and caring for my elderly mom and kids and still unemployed. i'm not polished or professional in my demeanor so i'm not looking to bag me a money man.  i just want someone i can adore.  i wish that for every legitimate person here. if you like my pictures, i'm glad, really, thank you.  that doesn't mean we have a connection. lastly, i don't care if you won the playboy magazine pussy eating contest 3 years running. that's not a good opener, filler, or closer with me. you may like it and that's cool, but i really do not care how good you have been told your tongue is, unless yr using it to tell me something from your word hole.  to quote A bard, (not THE) "i get my kicks above the waistline sunshine"--that is to say what i seek starts out with the mind and flows down from there, encompassing the body in a more natural progression of ownership.   i'm not like this (demanding, etc) when  i have a dom. meeting one online and chatting for 5 mins does not equal my obeisance to you. you should know the last dom i had was as close to perfect as i've known.  so if my standards are too high for you, it's ok, thanks for reading.  to accept anything less would be s disservice to the one who got me really started in this, and what i want is to be a credit to him.  (yes i get it, to him i'm just an ex, clearly not worthy, not the one he wanted perhaps too needy, too crazy, or even too absolutely gleefully enamoured of almost everything he did...but for me he is always going to be "it" --until the day, if i'm ever that lucky, i meet someone to take his place.  if not, i'm ok with it and grateful to have had that feeling, and these memories however brief, because i know some people never even get to taste that fleeting bliss. 

NEVER!! for reals!!, and that's waaay sadder than me being alone.

so i'm grateful.

when yr truly unlucky at love, being lucky at lust at least helps to ease the sting a little.  if all this seems terribly obsessive to you, so be it. but it's my opinion that a little obsessed is the nature of a sub/slave,  because by my definition, without a master, i'm incomplete.

and finally i'm not trying to offend i merely wish to be totally honest. if any of this offended you then you didn't understand and don't get me, and i wouldn't want you for that very important reason just to start....

tomorrow is my youngests bday and the day i officially become 100% skeptical of everyone online forever.  i can feel like this no more

wow, the dom who texted his chat address knowingly to my kid doesn't understand why im not interested in any further communication. being told how over protective i am of my kids wasn't a clear enough point for him.  Holy crap what is wrong with people? And why do i keep believing them??  Must sub always equal sucker???

heres a list of places you can text to from your phone to help the victims in japan!

http://moconews.net/article/419-mobile-giving-a-list-of-shortcodes-to-donate-to-japan/

wow. went to nashville, didn't meet ANYbody from here but met a couple nice people at the hustler superstore. holy BLEEP i could spend a mint in that place, but sadly a mint is aobut all i could afford lol. though it was actually a sex chocolate for someone else to try on their wife lol.  the employees there are pretty cool as well.

it was a horrible shitty drive back for some reason i am cursed to always have rain when i am driving long distances at night and i freaking HATE that. it didnt help that my ex doesnt maintain things like wiper blades on his car. had i known i woulda just bought him some.

also for those interested no it didn't happen, we didn't wind up meeting :(

another douche felt inclined to share his personal uninvited opinions today.

what the fuck is it with these self important assholes who can't be bothered to read?

worst are people like this whose only motive is to bring someone down.

so small minded and small dicked, you have to pity people who take such tremendous social strides.

i dont troll about the site looking for people to insult or bother.

that they think blocking them takes even a seconds hesitation its sadder than me.

it must be wonewee for the poor widdle dom with nobody to play with....

prolly cause hes a douche LOL

best christmas in years!

thanks to a kindly dom my kids are going to have a super nice christmas from me and secret santa, and even though giving them a nice christmas was all i really wanted, i also got a super awesome gift, the gift of my idiot duplex neighbor moving out!! after almost a full year of being harassed and such he and his evil witch gf are gone baby gone!! yes virginia, there is a santa claus!! thank you bill and thank you powers that be!!  i'm not quite as ebullient as i thought i would be but im also not drowning in tears either, so i am greatly blessed!

ok this is getting old. attention assholes who cant be bothered to read in my profile i DONt CAM!! if you cant be bothered to figure that out don't be surprised when i become a bitch as you attempt to bully me into camming. anyone who would try to force that is NOBODY i want to EVER talk to. (attn: mouthbreathers--that means yr an asshole)

yeaaah i'm thinking ok i make a lot of typos and such but when people misspell in their profile it doesn't inspire or make a grand impression, lol

oh mi god.

it happened again. even though i clearly spell out exactly how i approach new potential masters on my PROFILE i still get the assholes wanting to shout fake at me because i wont provide them with instant cam proof and my phone number straightaway.  seriously?? who still expects this?? i could understand it if maybe i was the one petitioning him. but seriously people?? somebody thinks it ok to, out of the blue, pop up and demands this? when i pointed out to him the kinda sudden-ness of such a move and the mistakes i've made by doing so in the past he got all crazy defensive. i didnt ask him to email me and in fact again state very clearly in my PROFILE  no telephones til i know you and no cam period.  im unemployed. i have kids and our xmas and food are way more a priority for the 200 a week i get. im lucky to be online and to have a pc at all, even without a cam and im not paying for a new one so jerks can harass me over not wanting to show off for total strangers who may or may not resemble their one profile pic, and whose screen handle includes the word video in it.   he could be an 80 year old john waters fan or a room full of high school freshmen in the a/v lab. you want a cam show, go to one of the many lovely hot chick cam sites.  anyway it astonishes me. no matter how hard you try, being upfront and honest doesnt help when people are too lazy to read your profile which is in fact your introduction to who you are or worse, still read it but be too arrogant to think that what you say applies to them.  "oh i'm special, i'm different, i'm real...." funny how those guys more often than not are real, all right. real assholes who ruin it for the few and far betweeners. the good ones.  at least it was mildly entertaining, for i predicted it as soon as he started arguing with me over whether or not the cam i have messed with for months would work,  at least he was predictable, even if it was just predictably sad. 

gotta love a doofus in a huff trying to cyber slam the door in my laughing face, when all along he's the one outside who knocked to begin with, lol.

yeah i really missed the boat on that one lol.  (the loser boat)

(note sarcasm there, cause what i did do was dodge another crazy bullet)

freezing today!  awesome new site...frankly it depresses me a bit to see so many wonderful bondage and rubber sites and me without the means to utilize any of them for fun.  then again, an uncollared slave on her own doesn't really have call to need such things anway.  i may stick around collar me to chat  but i dont think im ever gonna find anybody im attracted to nearby enough to be worth it. maybe i'll wait to the end of the year to delete this one.  anyway the awesome make yr own collar link is www.collarfactory.com

hott!

another one bites the dust

this time i was given a fake address, and i actually spent the better part of an hour driving around at 3 am trying to find it and wondering why he wasn't calling to help me out with directions.

probably because he was yet another fake.

i kinda wonder why i keep trying when every time i really start to have faith and genuine interest in someone they follow the online fakers rubric for etiquette or lack of it?  i'm reasonably forthright about being a twisted little slavewhore, and i'm not into pedphilia or murder or torture.

and i find myself sitting here hoping something will pop up to prove me wrong.

eternal optomism you suck sometimes.

well now.   fool me once shame on me or something like that, i'm not sure there is a reference for fooling somebody FIVE (5) times into thinking you intend to meet them.  holy bleeping bleep.

every story more improbable than the last, if/when an excuse for no showing was even tendered, which several times it was not.  really people, i don't take issue with you being here to roleplay and imagine, but don't fuck with people who are serious in their intent to meet, please??? it's really discouraging and frankly, bad form.  so my apologies to everyone i speak with from here on out if i appear a bit jaded. when your provclivities are a tad beyond the pale, it takes some measure of forced calm to get ready for a blind date and to constantly and conistently find yourself not on a date is just overhwelmingly shitty.

the golden rule can still apply to perverts and would be doms as easily as it does slaves and switches.

im jealous watching all the ads for the west coast social.  i wanna go too!!! <pout>

wish there was a middle of the country social here in memphis....

home again home again to try and coax the neighborhood strays into coming inside with the warmth and such. stupid lowlifes who dont fix their pets suck for neighbors. we have kittens in our hood in the WINTER.
freaking great!

i got confirmation today, yes there in fact IS a santa claus and he hails from the south!
wrecked my face i tell you what! gotta put out the bird food and get motoring!