It amazes me that most photos are of a person's private parts or a bed with every toy they own. Once I see such photos I move on. Why you ask, well personally to me there is nothing left to the imagination as to what can be done. 

I know there are some people, Dom and sub alike, feel that they must show all their goodies in order to attract one of the opposite of themselves. I, personally, find it distasteful. I feel that those who post such are the ones that I need to avoid. I like knowing a person for who they claim to be not because I happened to come across a photo of their private parts or what toys they have in their toy bag. 

I mean seriously why post a photo such as those. I see it as they are scraming " Hey look at me and what I have to use on you". I find those as being insecure of who they claim to be. I know different strokes for different folks but there is a thin line of being an attention seeking person and a person that is secure within themselves. 

Sorry for the rant this morning but it is something that I felt the need to rant about this.

I was surfing the web and found a blog and thought that I would share it, now mind You this was a blog written by a 25 year old woman. 

"I do submit completely to my husband. I have an awesome marriage. I couldn't be happier. He loves me and would never ask me to do something that would be wrong or hurt me. On the day I made my wedding vows I surrendered myself to his will. I promised to love, honor and obey him. My marriage is still young and I am still learning the best ways to fulfill my vows. But one thing I have learned is that submission is key to a good marriage. He is the man of the house and I am his woman. He makes me feel loved, protected and cherished. I know he would do anything for me and I would do anything for him. I would hate it if he did not allow me to submit to him. I have discovered that my submission makes me feel feminine and complete. I don't know why...maybe its because this is my destiny? This is how its supposed to be? My marriage is like a beautiful, harmonious dance. He leads and I follow. There is never tension or disharmony. I see so many unhappy women. They scoff at my desire to please my husband. I cook and clean...I keep myself pretty and available for his pleasure. They laugh at me and call me old fashion. But, why am I the happy one and they are the ones who spend our lunches bitching about their men? What does obeying my husband mean on a daily basis? Well here are a couple examples... 1- I call him and ask if its OK when I want to buy something not usually in the budget. He keeps track of our income and so he knows what we can afford. He usually says yes, but if he says no, he explains why. (And I usually get a surprise present later when we CAN afford it). 2- I ask him when I want to have friends over or go out with my girl friends. He rarely says no. He loves that I ask him...It makes him want to make me happy. 3-He knows he can always have me whenever, wherever. I obey his sexual desires. How horrible, right? I have to have sex all the time! What woman wants to cum more then once a day?? (That was sarcasm in case you didn't catch it LOL). 4-He says I can't have a dog...This is one of the only times I have had a hard time submitting. I have to remind myself that he is in charge. He is right of course...we can't really have a pet right now. I do want one though. I'm sure that I'll get to have one once we are settled  My GF says I should just go get one...But that would be a huge slap in his face (and I might get punished...I'm always good so IDK what my punishment would be...and a Puppy isn't really worth finding out LOL). 5-I never argue with him in front of others! (I hate seeing wives being shrewish in public! It emasculates their men) I almost never argue even in private...and If I behave badly, I apologize and usually give him my best blow job with him standing and me kneeling...I like doing this because it helps put me in a submissive mind set and it turns me on a lot! If I disagree with him I will quietly and privately let him know what my opinion is. If I present my thoughts logically and am respectful of his opinion, he generally takes my opinion into consideration. If he does not...I submit to him and he appreciates me all the more for it. So my point is that submitting doesn't make me a slave, It simply creates harmony. I obey him of my own free will and he accepts my gift of submission and never makes unreasonable demands. He knows I would do anything he requests so he is all the more considerate of me. Does that make sense? (even if he did make unreasonable demands I wouldn't't break my rule. It is my chosen lifestyle...complete submission to my husband. I have seen many failed or miserable marriages and a few good ones...The good ones always have a wife who honors and respects her husband and she always submits to some degree. I want a good marriage). To sum up my views on how a woman should behave in marriage. Respect, Honor and Obey. Keep the home clean and cook healthy, wholesome food he will enjoy, Keep yourself neat and presentable. You reflect your husbands character and he should always be proud to present you to friends and co-workers. Be available and enthusiastic sexually. Teach your children to respect and obey their father as their protector and provider. I have a wonderful husband who deserves my submission. And I have noticed that the more respect I show him the harder he works to earn my trust and confidence. What more could I ask for? Everyday I feel cherished and loved. I feel feminine and I revel in my femininity. I take pride and joy in my husbands masculinity. I submit and I love submitting. I am protected. I am loved. I am perfectly content."

I had the finally surgery on January 27, 2012. The surgeons say that everything is going smoothly and looking great so far. However when I look down all I see are the nasty and ugly looking scars, talk about a reminder of what breast cancer can do to a person. On the bright side of all these is that I know have a set of perky size C cup breast. *giggles*

I know that this is no joking matter but there are times that I have to find some kind of humor through this before I lose myself to the effects that this is taking on my mental and emotional state of mind. 

I have thought about making a t-shirt that reads "Yes they are fake but at least I no longer have Cancer" but maybe it is a bit to much. I think that this is going to be my new motto.

On December 30, 2011 I had my second surgery. They took the skin extenders out and put the silicon gel implants in. There was a huge difference of how I felt after this surgery. I no longer felt like I had two center blocks inside my chest. 

I went back to the surgeon this morning. My last surgery should be within 2 to 3 weeks. This surgery will be to construct the nipples. From what I have been told and read once that is healed the doctor will tattoo the nipples in order to give them that natural brown color. I have thought about asking if he could tattoo them a light shade of purple. If I am going to have fake breast might as well make them to my liking. *giggles* I am sure that he will not do it though but it won't hurt to ask.

I have beat cancer now twice in my life. I have done it mostly alone but that was by my choice to do so. I don't think it is right to have others suffer by seeing me sick or hurting. I would not have it any other way then to go through this alone.

As of yesterday (10-26-2011) I had a double mastectomy because of the breast cancer. I have already started with the breast reconstruction. I am very sore but at least I am home tonight. 

Yes part of me feels as if I am not a whole woman now because I no longer have the breast that I was graced with growing up but it was either keep the real ones and suffer a far worse fate with the cancer or get them cut off and live a cancer free life. 

I know that I should not dwell on not having real breast with it being so widely accepted now a days for women to have fake breast but like I said above, part of me feels like I am less of a woman than I was 36 hours ago.  

At least I will no longer be a double D cup size. Once everything is done I will be a nice firm and perky C cup. *smiles* 

I AM NOT POSTING THIS TO GET ANY KIND OF SYMPATHY NOR THE USUAL " I AM SORRY".  I am posting this as a way to have a venue to post my thoughts, fears and feelings.

Two years ago, September 4, 2009, I had a lump removed from my left breast. It was not cancerous at that time. In 2010 I had my yearly mammogram with no unusual lumps so I went about to live my life. 

I had my yearly mammogram for 2011 on September 1. They found a lump so I was set up with another mammogram. With the second mammogram showed the lump in my right breast. I had an ultrasound of my right breast done the same day as the second mammogram. The ultrasound showed two lumps that are 6 mm apart. The following week I had a biopsy done on the lumps. I waited three very long days to get the results of the biopsy. On September 15, 2011 I was diagnosed with breast cancer. 

Because of the cancer scare in 2009 and now the cancer in 2011 my doctor and I have decided that it would be best if I had a double mastectomy with reconstruction surgery.   

I hate when my mind won't turn off. I feel like I am drowning. So many options to weigh and not knowing which would be the best. There are times that I feel so lost, not knowing which way is left or right, what way is up or down. Times I just want to throw my hands up and say to hell with everything but I know that as an adult I can't do that. I have two sons (even though they are grown) that I have to think about. Not to mention the friends that have become part of my family. There have been many days that all I want to do is cry but that will not help me to make the right choice for all involved.

Have taken some much needed time away from the computer. So much has happened in my life in the 6 months. My younger son was deployed to Iraq and my older son is going to back to college to become an RN. I am very proud of both my kids. To think at one point I was worried that as a single mother that I would not raise two upstanding and respectful young men but they have proven me wrong. I am happy that my children are following their dreams and I will do everything that I can to support them.

I have read so many profiles of submissives/slaves that claims be a no limits kind of girl. My question to those submissives/slaves that claim to be no limits, If the Dominant told you that you have to go to the local park/school and take a child for him, would you do that for him? If the answer is no then you have just found your first limit. EVERYONE has limits, it takes some a while to learn what their limits while it takes the others a short time to learn their limits.

Why ?

Why is it that most Men/Doms/Masters, some Women/Dommes/Mistresses ask for things from a submissive/slave such as loyalty, honesty, communication and openess but yet can't give in return? 
 

A Girl's Own Personal Hell

The girl sits with her arms wrapped around her knees as she had drawn them to her chest. Turning her head to face left, she lays it on top of her knees. Tears fall from her eyes as she just sits there in the darkness. The girl feels as if she is alone in the world even though her Master lays sleeping in the bed on the other side of the room from where she sat. Though she should be in the bed with Him, she felt it was best that she slide out of His bed so that she would not chance waking Him from her weeping.

The girl could not figure out why she was feeling like she was alone in the world since she had a very understanding and caring Master. He was not just her Master but also her best friend. The only One that wanted to understand her and what makes her tick. He has showed her nothing but pure love and enjoyment of having her in His life. But on this night she sat alone in the darkness, wanting to reach out to Him with her fears but she did not want to bother Him with her silliness. Though He has always told her that He wanted to hear about her feelings and her thoughts about things. Just tonight she could not bring herself to wake Him to talk to Him about the fears that had come over her.

Her fear was a valid one but she fought it alone. In her mind she kept telling herself that her fear was not important enough to wake the only Man that had given so much back to her. The torment that she done to herself so many times in her life just kept coming in mind. Slowly she rose to her knees to look at the Man laying in the bed. He was sleeping so sound that it bothered her that she could not just crawl back in His bed and snuggle to Him.

As she watched Him sleep all that she could think about was how unfair she was to Him. This Man that she calls Master wanted nothing more than to help her but she found everyway possible to not show just how much she needed His help. The false face of letting others think that everything was right in the world with her has seemed to become so much more easier for her to wear than the one that was showing on her face that night. That night she was more like a scared little girl that just needed the comfort of being able to curl up in His lap.

This girl thinks of the ways that she feels that she is being unfair to her Master. The thought that always comes out first is how she is so damaged from the years of abuse that she has suffered at the hand’s of others that claimed to love her. That thought alone is enough for this girl to feel that she is being unfair to her Master. Everyday she asks herself how it is that she can stop her thoughts but everyday she is still left without an answer to her question.

As she is watching her Master sleep, He lets out a small cough and she jumps as if she had been shot. Slowly she goes back to the corner of the room where she was earlier so that she does not risk waking her Master from His slumber. Once in the corner she hugs her knees again with
so many thoughts running through her mind. The thoughts are enough to make her wonder why this Man even took the time to get to know her plus why He wanted her as His real time slave.

Her mind runs wild with thoughts of the past abuse from others before He came into her life and slowly rescuing her from everything and everyone including herself. As the thoughts become deeper she fights from going into the kitchen to get a knife. For if she was to get one she knows that she would find a place on her body, that He would not see, and cut until she released the internal pain that her mind is causing her to go through.

This girl wonders what it is that this Man sees in her that she can’t see in herself. Though He tells her several times that He is happy to have her as His, she can’t help but to wonder why. To herself, all she sees is a very ugly person on the outside. Though she knows that on the inside she is a very beautiful girl but that is not what counts in this cold world. All she wants is to be able to let that inner beauty to shine through to her Master.

The girl knows that she will never be able to repay her Master for the things that He has given back her thus far and she knows that He has so much more to give to her. Part of her is scared to take what He offers to give her for fear that one day He will turn away from her once she has grown into the slave that He has set out to make her. The other side of her wants to grab the things that He offers and become that slave for Him in order to give Him that love and happiness that He so richly deserves to have in His life.

This girl struggles daily with even the small things that He wants of her. Not because she fears Him but she fears that she will somehow mess things up so badly that He becomes upset with her. The thoughts of Him being upset with her is more than she can handle for she knows that it is her main objective to keep Him as happy as humanly possible as she can. All that she does for Him that causes Him to smile makes her feel as if she is the only girl in the world for her Master. Just to see Him smile when He looks at her or because of something that she did to make His life happier is all the reward that she feels that she deserves.

Though her happiness in seeing Him smile at her is short lived because of the thoughts she has about herself. It is not anything that her Master has said that makes her thoughts turn sour, it is just the way that her mind works. This girl is so demanding and hard on herself that it does not take much to punish her for anything that she does wrong for she has already started her own type of punishment.

There are times that this girl thinks that she is not pleasing to her Master in a sexual way. When those types of thoughts come into her mind she will do everything that she can so that her Master does not have to look at her. The things that she will do for that to take place is to go into a different room with the excuse of needing to do something or she will ask to be allowed to take a shower. When she goes into the bathroom to shower, she will get undressed and stand in front of the mirror and shake her head at what she sees. The sight is enough to make her mouth the words of not blaming Him if He does seek another that He is sexually attracted to.

Once she is in the shower all she does is pray that He will not come into the bathroom while she is nude. The thoughts that she has is enough to make her crumble to the shower floor and weep. This girl wants nothing more than to be His everything but she fears that she will never be able to become that for Him. In her mind she knows that she is nothing like the other women that her Master has been with in His life but the thought of being the biggest that He has been with stands out more.

How can she go to Him with her thoughts when she finds them being foolish of her to be having in the first place? Should she just bite the bullet and take that chance of upsetting Him with these feelings or should she just keep doing what she is doing now by not saying anything to Him? Though she knows that the right thing to do is to go to Him with these feelings but her fear of upsetting Him is so great that she feels it is best not to say anything.

It is not like He abuses her like the others before Him but for her it is hard to open up just because of how it use to be for her.
 
The girl knows that she is in a whole brand new way of life but a part of her still holds onto the past. Though she wants to let the past go she can’t for fear that she will only be hurt even worse than before. Not in the ways that she has already been hurt but in ways that will cause her far more pain.

All this girl knows is that she has never felt more complete in her life until she meet the One that she calls Master. Does she want this One to turn out like the rest, NO she does not and deep inside she knows that He can’t. He is so much different than others but it is the way in which she has been done that causes her not to lower her guard anymore than she already has for Him. He has been nothing more than understanding of the things that she fights within herself but she can’t help but to think that she is not being fair to Him for all the things that He has yet to know about her as well as the things that she will not go to Him with.

In the morning she knows that some of her fears will still be there but she will not let Him know this or the fact that she was up all night sitting in the dark crying. All she wants is to be loved like she has always dreamed she deserved to be but how can she when she blocks people out of her heart and life? How can she even love Him when she won’t let Him love her in return? Why does this girl put herself through all this personal hell?

The girl does not ask for much for herself. However she does secretly crave, need and want things but she will not ask for any of those things for fear that He will say no to her. The girl has major fears of being rejected by people. It is much safer for her to keep her wants and needs to herself so that she will not be hurt if a request is denied or rejected. Though she knows that she should not feel that the denial is anything directed at her personally. It is hard for the girl to ask for anything. The reason that she fears to ask is because she has asked for things for herself before with the answer being no so many times or they answer is yes but when it came time for the request to be fulfilled there seemed to always be an excuse for it to be denied. When she is told yes to a request that she has made and it is not fulfilled, the girl takes it personally.

Most times the girl will go over and over in her head what she may have done or said wrong during the day for the request to be denied after she was first told yes to the request. In doing this the girl places herself back into her own personal hell. The girl will usually end up being so furious at herself that she tries to withdrawal for a few days so that she may figure out what she had done so wrong.

Granted that the girl will go through the motions of her daily life while she tries to withdrawal but her mind is on trying to figure out what is wrong with her or what she may have done so wrong. The girl knows that when this is happening that she should go to the One that she calls Master but she feels that she can’t. The reason is so that she does not upset Him or cause Him to become anger with her for the way that she feels or thinks.

Is she protecting herself or is she protecting others around her? The girl does not want to hurt or anger others but yet at the same time she does not want to be hurt. So she feels that if someone must hurt it is her that should hurt. The girl tries to behave and not ask for things but there are times that her desires over ride everything else.

It is at these times that the girl will do something that is not within her natural character to see if it is noticed by others. To see if others will see the change in her and make her sit and talk about what is on her mind. The girl feels that there are times that is the only way that she can grab the attention of others to let them know that there is something wrong. Though she knows it is the wrong way in which to do this but it is the only way that she knows how to show that there is something that she needs to talk about.
 
Some may call this girl an attention whore but it is not what she is, for her it is the only way that she knows how to do things at times. There are other times that when a request is granted and done, she will get to feeling so bad that something that she has asked for was done that she will tell the person that she is sorry or that maybe she should have not gotten her request granted.

The girl does not understand why she is this way. Though she wishes that she could learn to stop being this way but she knows that deep inside of herself she is a giver and not a taker. She hates knowing that some of her request cost money so she tries not ask for anything that she knows will cost money unless it is something that is very important. Even then she has a hard time dealing with the fact that money was spent on her when she feels that it could have been spent on something better. When she does get money spent on her, she will go for days wishing that she would not have ever asked for whatever was bought.

There are times that she thinks that everyone will be so much better off if she would just disappear in order for them not be upset at her or hurt by her. The girl just wants to love and be loved. There are times that she feels that without her in people’s lives that they would not feel loved or protected. How is it that she feels two different ways at the same time?
 
Though she knows that either way that people will feel loved and protected if she was or was not in their lives. Why does the girl keep putting herself within the realms of her own personal hell?

Snow
This is something that I wrote about a year ago. Hope those that read it will enjoy it. I have written other small stories.

It was about 2 A.M. before everyone in the house was settled enough so that i could do my thing. As i was preparing to settle down for the night, i went out to get a small bowl of snow. Once i was back inside the house, i came into my bedroom, placed the bowl of snow on my computer chair beside the bed. Then as i was pulling the covers back on the bed so that i could climb into the bed, it hit me as to what i was about to do. A cold chill went through me causing my nipples to become erect. As i got undressed with the thoughts of what was about to happen my nipples started to tingle with anticipation of what they was about to feel on them. Reaching down, i grabbed them giving them a quick but firm pinch with a slight twist and tug. Letting out a soft sigh as i release my nipples from my own grip.
Once i have let my nipples go from my grip, i lay on the bed completely nude. Squirming around as i get settled down, my heart starts to beat faster because i know what i am about to do. Though it is about as close as i will ever get to a fantasy that i have had since i was about 16 years old, it is something that i am ready and wanting to do. Once i am settled in the bed, i reach over to the bowl of snow, i feel it packing in my hand as i am taking a small amount of it out of the bowl.
The snow is in my hand, i smile as i put the first handful on my right breast. Slowly rubbing it in as it melts away, though it is so cold and i am shivering i still keep doing what is set in my mind to do. Taking another handful of the snow, i place it on my left breast and rub it in until it is fully melted away. By the time that i am done doing this my body is shaking because of the cold snow that has been rubbed into my nipples. Wanting to crawl under the covers to warm my body but knowing that i can't because i want to keep going so that i can live out my fantasy to the best of my ability.
Taking another handful of the snow, i place it slowly on my pussy. Leaving it there just for a few seconds as i compose myself because of the coldness. Taking my hand, i rub it into my pussy so very slowly. Laying there feeling the coldness of the snow my mind goes to the fantasy that i have had for a very long time. Getting another handful of the snow, i put it on my pussy again. Rubbing it in just a bit more slower then the first time, because i want to lay here and enjoy what i am doing and living out as much as my fantasy as i can on my own.
With the amount of the snow that has been placed on my pussy by this time, my pussy feels as it has becomes numbs. Another handful of snow is taking from the bowl and this time as i place it on my pussy, i push it down further on my pussy so that it is now further down on my lips then it was before. Once it was in place, i take my hand and shove the small amount of snow that has not melted inside of my pussy. Feeling the coldness of the snow going inside of me makes me shiver that much more but yet at the same time it feels so great because it is cooling the hotness off my pussy. Feeling the coolness of it inside me makes me want more so that i will forget about wanting to masturbate. So i take the last handful of snow that has not melted in the bowl and this time instead of placing right on my pussy, i spread my legs a bit further apart. Once my legs are spread apart i take the snow and shove it into my pussy. Not wanting it to come out, i cup my hand over my pussy to keep it closed but leave my fingers opened a small bit so that the water can drip out as the snow melts.
Once i know that the snow is all melted, i took my hand away from my pussy. Once i have taken my hand away from my pussy i grabbed up my vibrator. Once i have it in my hand, i turned it on the lowest speed as i placed it against my clit. Feeling it humming against my clit makes me become hot and even more wetter. As it is humming i start thinking about Him. Wishing that i was with Him at this point. Needing to feel a real cock inside of me, i push the vibrator deep inside of my pussy. Bucking my hips up to meet the vibrator as i push and pull it in and out of my pussy. Going as wild as i can with my toy i am closing my eyes dreaming of it being His cock being buried deep inside of my pussy. Soon i was cumming so hard that my body was once again shaking. Covering up in the blankets, i lay on the bed shivering but not sure if it is from the cold snow, the thoughts of finally living out what i could of my fantasy by myself or if it was from the whole body orgasm. It is almost 4 A.M. when i last look at the clock and soon i am asleep with a smile on my face.

Weekend of July 17 to July 20

What can I say this past weekend was so great that I wished that it would not had to have to ended. I really did not want to come back to the reality of the real world.
I felt that I found where I belonged if only for 4 days and 3 nights. It was such an awesome weekend that all I can do is smile and even giggle when I think of some of the things that took place.
I meet some great new friends and as always enjoyed the company of the friends that I have known for a few years.
Thank you all for a great time this past weekend. Can't wait until the fall now.

The Cost Of A Smile
by: Unknown

A smile cost nothing, but gives much.
It enriches those who receive,
without making poorer those who give.
It takes but a moment,
but the memory of it sometimes lasts forever.

None is so rich or mighty that he can get along without it, and none is so poor but that he can be made rich by it.

A smile creates happiness in the home,
fosters good will in business,
and is the countersign of friendship.
It brings rest to the weary,
cheer to the discouraged,
sunshine to the sad,
and is nature's best antidote for trouble.

Yet it cannot be bought, begged, borrowed, or stolen,
for it is something that is of no value to anyone
until it is given away.
Some people are too tired to give you a smile.
Give them one of yours,
as none needs a smile so much as he who has no more to give.

Something that I found somewhere and thought that I would share it with those that read the journals that people write.

A slave’s Promise
( How many can make these promises and keep them, I wonder)

I promise you my love
I promise you my heart
I promise you my life
I promise we'll never be apart
I promise not to hurt you
I promise to never make you cry
I promise to always trust you
I promise not to lie
I promise you forever
I promise you tonight
I promise you my respect
I promise to do things right
I promise to always be there
I promise until the end
I promise to always love you
I promise to be your best friend
I promise this forever
I promise our Relationship is my life

A Master’s promise
( I truly wonder how many can make these promises and mean then)

I promise to make you laugh
I promise to give you strength when you are weak
I promise to love you forever
I promise to cherish you and your love
I promise to compromise with you
I promise to make you my first priority
I promise to never take your love for granted
I promise to never lose faith in you
I promise to never give you a reason to distrust me
I promise to always trust you
I promise to work with you to resolve our conflicts
I promise to always be proud of you
I promise to never let you feel alone in this world
I promise to find new ways everyday to keep the fires of passion burning
I promise to never say things to you in anger
I promise to be your partner for life
I promise to be your shelter from the storm

Enough
(Love of self!)
penned by: Patrick Michael

Who has enough,
to feel on top of the world,
to soar as the eagles do,
to the heights of skies so blue?

What is enough,
enough of the light,
enough of the dark,
enough of anything to create love's spark?

When is it enough to just say I love you,
enough to simply know you are there,
enough to hold you in my heart,
enough to go on just because I care?

Where can one find enough,
enough to satisfy lust for life,
enough to find a love good and true
enough to soar as wild eagles do?

How far must one go to find enough,
to what reaches of far off space,
to what depths of the oceans blue,
to know that enough is enough?

It lies within the heart and soul of you!

How can a slave grow without the help of a Master?

A slave's heart needs both the slave and the Master to grow and bloom but when it is just the slave working at this growth it will only bloom to a certian degree.

It needs the light and nuturing from a Master to help it to grow into the rose from the bud that is there.

A slave can only bring it out but only so far on their own.

Then the rest is up to the Master to help it to bloom and grow futher out into that rose.

But if the Master is not there to help it grow then to say that the slave is not a slave it is not her fault because He is not doing His share in helping her to grow within the bounds of what is in her to be.

Just a little something that I came across while web surfing

Ephesians 6:5-9 (5)Slaves, obey your earthly masters with respect and fear, and with sincerity of heart, just as you would obey Christ. (6)Obey them not only to win their favor when their eye is on you, but like slaves of Christ, doing the will of God from your heart. (7) Serve wholeheartedly, as if you were serving the Lord, not men, (8) because you know that the Lord will reward everyone for whatever good he does, whether he is slave or free. (9) And masters, treat your slaves in the same way. Do not threaten them, since you know that he who is both their Master and yours is in heaven, and there is no favoritism with him.

IS IT WRONG OF ME ???
August 18,2004
by puddlesofvirgo

Is it wrong of me... To have a brain?
Is it wrong of me... To be shy?
Is it wrong of me... To have feelings?
Is it wrong of me... To feel ashamed?
Is it wrong of me... To feel ugly?
Is it wrong of me... To feel pretty at times?
Is it wrong of me... To love people?
Is it wrong of me... To want to cry or laugh without reason?
Is it wrong of me... To need Him?
Is it wrong of me... To want to be loved?
Is it wrong of me... To ask to be held at times?
Is it wrong of me... To care the way i do?
Is it wrong of me... To ask to be showed love?
Is it wrong of me... To feel that i am not good enough?
Is it wrong of me... To feel like i have nothing to offer?
Is it wrong of me... To reach out and take His hand?
Is it wrong of me... To want Him to softly touch me?
Is it wrong of me... To want to please Him in every way?
Is it wrong of me... To want to know what turns Him on?
Is it wrong of me... To want to lie in His arms all day?
Is it wrong of me... To want to protect Him from being hurt?
Is it wrong of me... To worry the way i do?
Is it wrong of me... To want to be first in His life?
Is it wrong of me... To want to be selfish at times?
Is it wrong of me... To hide myself and thoughts from Him?
Is it wrong of me... To feel like i do?

The reason that I have listed these four terms and their means (from the Wikipedia) is because maybe once a person reads the means then they will better understand what they are calling another.

REAL most often refers to reality, the state of things as they actually exist.

FAKE (noun) Something which is not genuine, or is presented fraudulently.

FAKE (verb) 1) To cheat; to swindle; to steal; to rob. 2) To make; to construct; to do. 3) To manipulate fraudulently.

WANNABE A person who imitates or emulates another.

Player (dating) Slang term for a (usually male, but also female) individual skilled at sexual seduction.


What maybe real to one does not mean that it is real to another.

What maybe fake to one may not be fake to another.

One that feels the need to copy another (become a wannabe), then why not thank that person for being someone that they "look up" too instead of bashing them.

To call one a player only means that you got caught up in being seduced by them. Once you saw that the words that they wrote to you online was not going to happen in person you felt that you had to "save face" so that it would not be known that you got seduced by them online. So with what was said about a player then I would say that everyone is a player seeing as to how we all have our own way of sexually seducing another.

  The Lifestyle that I have choose to live

    34 Questions and my answers to them

                 What Is A Good Girl?

Why do I seem to try so hard to make sure that most all people around me are happy even if it causes me some form of pain? The answer is so simple. The answer is because I
want to see other people smile and be happy. Maybe that is my biggest problem, worrying about what other's want from me. People make promises and I believe them even if something comes up to where a promise has to be altered or broken I still believe the promise will one day come true. I always
seem to give the beneifit of the doubt to the people that I  care about and love and it seems that for some reason I either end up hurt or pushed away.

It is like no matter how hard I try to please everyone it is not good enough and I am the one out in the cold or threw to the way side until I can be used for something else. I am not the type of person that learns by just words, I am the type that has to see the actions that go along with the words. For me to learn the correct way I have to be showed and not just told.

If I make a promise I do everything within my power to make sure that I keep that promise to the person I made it too even if I can't keep true to the promise at the time that I
have set to do it, I always make up for it at a later date. I was raised in believing in the Golden Rule and I have tried so hard to make sure that I apply that in my daily life but at times I wonder why I even bother when it seems that everyone is just out to get what they want or need with no real complete understanding of how their words and
actions affect another person's life. 

It really does not take much to show me what will make a person to be happy. If it calls for me to act like a total nut (which I have done on many times) to make a person's day a small bit brighter then that is what I will do. If I know that I can self inflict pain in order to try to make someone happy, I will even go to that extreme. If I see a person who needs someone to talk to I always extend my hand to them.

For me it takes a while to build up trust with people because of everything that has
happened to me from when I was a small child to my present age. Yes on the outside my
life looked as if it was a normal life while on the inside it is full of pain, hurt and maybe even a small bit of anger. But then again maybe it is just all my fault for not speaking up while certain issues have come up but I did not want to cause people to be angry or upset with me so I thought I was being a good person by not speaking up about things when maybe I should have. This is why I am the way that I am..in order to try to remain being what I think of as a good girl.

For those that are somewhat new to this way of life, i beg of you to copy this link into your address bar and read of the dangers that are becoming very common with people that are saying that they are within the this way of life.

http://www.crimelibrary.com/criminal_mind/sexual_assault/sex_slaves/fc_index.html