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Female Submissive, 40
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About PrisAnn951
I moved away into the forest. |
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I can be such a feisty brat sometimes.. I like to rock the boat and watch the calm waters start to ripple and sway.
Do you ever spend so much time in calmness that you cry out for upheaval and discord?
I do. My life can sometimes be so placid that I need controversy, distortion or some kind of irruption to break in and wake me up.
Once I do upset the balance of things, I often regret it and wish I had left things alone.
I do believe when I taunt someoe in authority, I am indulging in the complacency of my own lust for defiance. Something in me cries out to be impudent or defiant just to see what the outcome will bring.
I often relish the aftermath of the punishments. It gives me food for thought. Shall I do it again? I believe yes, I will.
Ahhhhhh punishments... they are given and received by me with delight and anticipation of the next to come. I rarely switch away from the Dommie side, but when I do, it's for a good reason.
Love is expressed and revealed in many ways. Never limit yourself. You will be surprised at how something you thought so obscure could open new light into your life.
Take a walk on the edge with someone you trust and enjoy the scenery along the way. Touch it, feel it, devour it. You might just find the lost part of you that was missing.
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I had a busy day today... went to take care of business and I just hate being that responsible. I do what I have to do.
To my foot fetish friend from yesterday.. It was a pleasure having you in my home. I will welcome you back again.
I am happy to say things are going well with Master and myself.
I am still at this point in my life, learning alot about myself and about feelings from others. Life is to short to be unhappy.
If I can spend my time making someone's life better, then I feel good.
If you have ever had a fantasy and wanted so bad to live it, if even for only an hour, if that hour would add a little peace and joy and make a memory you will never forget... then I want to be the one to make it happen. I have always been that way and I hope I never stop.
I find that sometimes the best joy comes from not what someone can do for me, but from feeling their happiness from something I did for them.
I believe in "what comes around, goes around" and I know good things happen to me because I took time to think of someone other than me.
Now.. get your submissive ass over here and do the dishes.. I'll take care of you when your done!!
You crave to feel the wamth of hot wax drippind on your body?? Or the sting of my crop on your cute ass ?? Maybe you just want to be tied, blidfolded and tested with CBT to see where your limits are. I'm your Dommie... Let me take away the pain of wanting. |
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Today I wish I had a slave/sub here to take my mind off some things I would rather not be thinking.
I would like to find just the right one to be here with me when I need him.
Being Dominate makes me feel better and today I'm not feeling good at all.
I have a need to instruct, be demanding and even pour out punishments.
Come and get yours.
I'll be back later to see how I feel when darkness is around me. |
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First I would like to make a public apology to my Master "R" for misunderstanding his allowance of me to do something I asked for. I should not have even asked.
I am sorry Master that I did wrong.
Yours in Servitude,
Slave Priscilla
Well, I did it again... I fucked up and disappointed Master. He was trying to test me by sending me out to the club alone. He thought I would go and have sex and he would be able to punish me.... well, now he gets to punish me anyway because I didn't fall for it and go. He knows me to well already. I could have just told him I went and that I was good, he never would have known.... until he asked me.. then, like always, I can NOT lie to him. So he knows with me not speaking is actually admitting guilt.
Personally I would think he would be proud of me for not going and avoiding any trouble. I think he should reward me, but for some reason, what I think never counts I guess that's why he's the Master and I am the slave. I'm a little worried about what his course of action will be.
PS...
If your here in So. Cali.. the club is THE TOY BOX CLUB ... it's on the web too view. |
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Oh man, this is a terrible night... Master can't come over so I asked him if I could go out, and he said yes, but be home by 1:00 and no messing around.
Ok.. I was getting ready to go and dancing around the house trying to get out of the sad mood I was in and looking for something to wear to the club, and I was thinking of him saying he trusted me..
I thought I trusted me too, but then I was thinking............ take a room full of horny men and a woman who's been denied sex and you've got trouble.
I've been very good about not thinking about sex, but I've been home alone so that made it easier to separate myself from it.
The closest thing I have had to sex is thinking about Master. The way he touches me, his bedroom eyes and the passion I carry inside me for him.
It's good that I have those feelings though. If I didn't get all hot and bothered when I was with him, it wouldn't do any good for him to tell me no, because I wouldn't care, but he drives me crazy.
I just want him so bad... but then again I don't, because once you get what you want.... what's left? As long as he keeps me wanting him, I'll keep wanting him. What if he gives in and the sex is bad? What if I just don't like it... he won't have anything to hold over me. As it is right now, sometimes I beg to touch him sexually, but we really don't havce a sexual relationship... I'm not sure what it is, but it will all work out. I do know that I respect him and will follow what he tells me.
He's trying to teach me to control my sexual desires, I guess that's what he's doing, I really don't know. I know Dom's do withhold sex and for me.. that's just crazy...
I guess when he said I could go out I was a little sad, I was kind of hoping he would have said NO, not without him.
I guess once he officially collars me and we have gone over our rules and boundaries and what is expected, things will be better. Right now we're kind of in limbo. I still obey everything he tells me and I aim to please him better than any other slave could, He will be pleased.
I read a lot about M/s relationships and I hope ours is like that.
Anyone want to write me and tell me about your relationship with your Master or slave?
I like to hear how it works for others.
This is my first time ever being a willing slave. I guess it's my pattern in life and I can't get away from it. When you grow up with someone telling you they only hit you because they love you, you begin to associate love with punishment. Life is what it is.
All I know is I do need someone strong in my life.
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It's really nice having someone you can trust. Just knowing there is someone out there who you can tell all your secrets to and know they will understand you no matter how strange they think you are.
I had an ok day. Sometimes work sucks. I was out in the heat for a while and kind of got sick. I don't work outside very often.
I got a message from an old friend and not sure I should see him because I am being loyal to my commitment to Master "R" and I wouldn't want to do anything that was not pleasing to him. I want him to be able to trust me. New relationships take time to work out any problems or trust issues. I'm putting mine all out there and hope I am not being stupid.
Master is strict, but I just hope he understands I am learning and sometimes I mess up and say or do the wrong thing.
If your reading this Master, be patient with me please.
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I woke up this morning remembering the dreams I had of Master last night as I slept. He is pleased with me and I am happy.
Thank you Master "R" Today I will have positive thoughts and work diligently to please you. |
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It's Wednesday night... Master "R" was here tonight.
He came early today and he had requested I get a movie for us to watch. A comedy. Because I do everything he tells me to do, I went an got several movies, so he could pick the one he wanted to watch. He selected "The Pineapple Express" It was funny. He made a great choice.
He came in and I bowed down to kiss his shoes, then once he gave me permission to get up, he went to sit down in the recliner and I sat by his feet removing his shoes and socks, then I massaged his feet and kissed them. I adore his feet, but more than that, my attention to them pleases him and pleasing him is all I want to do.
After I had kissed his feet he told me to bend over and he took the riding crop and spanked me, he said he would tell me why I was getting a spanking. I could not figure out what I had done wrong. I was trying to do every thing right.
He reminded me that I did not text him last night when I went to bed. He instructed me to go to bed early and to text him when I was going to bed.
I was up late and forgot to text him because I was on the phone. Actually, when I got off the phone and saw the time.... I didn't want him to know what time I had gone to bed, so I just didn't send a text. I didn't get away with it tho, because I got spanked any way. But I do know if I stay up to late, not to text him at all and he won't know what time I went to bed. Only problem is if he asks, I must tell the truth.
I asked him earlier in the day what he wanted me to cook for him and he said fish, so I went to the store and got him fish and salad and some fresh vegetables. He was pleased and enjoyed his dinner while I sat massaging his feet while he ate.
Once he was finished eating I took his plate to the kitchen and he allowed me to lay against him and he grabbed my hair and pulled me close to him. I looked up at him, he must have noticed I had some evil thought and he slapped me across my face.
I got a few slaps and butt smacks while he was here. I can't always be good. I like being a little out of control.
I have to say that I wanted to get sexual, but he would not let me. He kisses me, lets me get close to him, then pushes me away. He is training me for something, I'm not sure what... maybe he wants me to learn self discipline and control, something I really don't have.
I guess it's like when I use to make a man get to the point of cumming and then make him stop and back off and not allow him to cum. I think Master "R" is doing that to me. He knows his touch and his kiss make me burn inside. When he holds me my body screams with thoughts of passion. I am not good at self control at all. I also want to please him in every way I can imagine. There isn't anything I would not do for him. So me having my way with him, isn't just about my pleasure, it's about me wanting to please him also. BUT... he knows what is best for me, that is why he is my Master.
As he was leaving he told me NOT to touch myself and NOT to use any toys to masturbate. At first I didn't say anyhthing.. because I didn't want to lie. I had thought about pleasing myself. He asked me again and when I didn't answer, he slapped me, then I still would not answer and he did it again. Finally I did say I would not please myself.... now I CAN NOT !!!.. I promised him I would not. And I won't. One day my pleasure will come, I will have to wait, I have no choice.
I can't wait to see him and worship him again. Letting him know that he is the most powerful person in my life is my goal.
Thank you Master "R" you are a wonderful Master and I know you will make me a better person. |
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Well... if your keeping notice.. yes, I took out some of my journals. I did not want to offend anyone and some of the things were a bit over the top sexually. But it was fun while it lasted.
I am tired of living alone. If I had a part time room mate, that might work. Is there anything such as a part time room mate? It sucks watching TV alone and eating alone and just being alone so much. I get really emotional and when things don't go my way I get upset.
Maybe I should get out now and then... but I never know where to go or what to do.
I sit here and my mind goes crazy. I think of terrible things that excite me. I wonder what I would do if I kidnapped a man and held him hostage under my control.
I could do anything I wanted to him. He would have to submit to me as I could keep him in bondage until I knew I could possibly trust him a little bit.
I would train him and condition his mind to do anything for me. He could never leave here. This would be his life. Any time he could spend with me, he would cherish, as he would not want to sit alone in a room with no one to talk to. If he saw me, a smile would come on his face. I would be the delight of his world. Just touching my feet would give him pleasure.
Yes, I want to do it... I want to find the one that is right, take him and make him mine.
Totally mine.
Ok... I'm good now.
"R" I can't wait to see you. |
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It's going to be a good day.. I can tell.
Today you may come in, bow down, kiss my feet and tell me you will do anything for me.
I will accept your adoration and your loyalty will be rewarded. Fine tune your skills, today is work day.
Then later we will enjoy a movie and some snacks ..   |
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The end of the day is here and all I can say is ... finally !!!
It's been such a boring day. I've been home alone all day and would have loved some company. I need a slave here to entertain me, massage me and give me a happy ending to this day.
I think I need a live in slave. |
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 Last night I went to spend the night at my friend Judy's house in Redlands. I was supposed to spend the day or evening with a someone I considered speial to me, but it didn't turn out that way and I can't say much about it, but punishments are in order. 
 Judy and I had fun playing with some toys and checking out the electrosex stuff, I need to not turn it up to high... it will burn your skin off, medical attention required LOL.
I'm home now and getting ready to work. I missed seeing my fisting friend, he ran away from home would have been here if I had of been home. Oh well.... I told him next time he runs away, hotel Priscilla will be open and ready to take him in. At Hotel Priscilla we leave the light on.
I took my tag to the jewelers to be engraved for my slave boy, but it's not ready yet. I'm not sure the guy I was going to give it to is ready yet either.
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Here I am hammering out the issues of another day. Looks like some people do need to have stuff pounded in to their head. Wake up, smell the coffee, it's not all that hard !!
Your dick is small, live with it.
*******************************
 You didn't just disagree with me did you ??
Please let me find the one I am searching for.
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It's been a long day. I went to a comedy show tonight and this guy was really funny, it was really great to get out and hear the laughter of so many people.
I am looking forward to putting the chastity on my slave boy. Putting the the lock in place and not knowing yet when I will be taking it off, gives me a rush nothing else can provide.
Knowing I hold the key and his only release will come fom the amount of pleasure he give to me.
Has he spent his time right, making sure each thing he does is for me?
Are his words those that I want to hear?
Has he made sure that all my needs are met?
Once I do offer release, which method will I use?
Were his duties and loyality so impressive to me that I will allow him the pleasure of his release or will I make sure that when I milk him he will get no pleasure from it?
Does he know that my pleasure brings him pleasure. He tells me it does. We'll see. |
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Last night my little sub toy boy came to visit me.. he's so sweet and good. I just want to eat him up... but it's more fun to watch him kiss my feet and do every thing I tell him to do... he's so obediant.
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It's another late night and I can't sleep. Last night I enjoyed an exciting evening of playful excitment with my dear friend. 
I get bored and sit here like I'm actually talking to someone. 
I've been told suckling is the way to do it... lots of breast sucking and that could work.. also heard using a milking machine works.. ok so I don't have one.. anyone out there have one they want to give me ? 
Anyway.. I'm just rambling on here.