Slaveheart
I take no credit for this beautiful piece of writing - author unknown
A woman who has a "slave heart" is born with a predisposition towards intense submission, whether she openly acknowledges it or not. She wants to give up all control and serve a man with her entire being. Nothing less than a total commitment feels right. Her devotion, to the right man, would be as complete as any pious religious devotee but without any of the dogma. Hers would be a singular, simple and focused devotion. She would only feel free and at peace when she is in total submission to him whom she could completely trust. When she does surrender, it calms her, and she feels safe, protected and warm from the bond of connection with him. Yet, nearly invariably, you wouldn't suspect any of this from the outside.
In vanilla life she is looked at as strong, confident, bold, aggressive, leading, challenging, eager, etc. In other words, she appears to be dominant. People look up to her as the competent one that leads the group because she always knows which way to go, etc. But, internally, she hates being that way. It grates her to the core. That is, she acts as if she were the Master she dreams of having, but all the while she is wishing/hoping/praying for her own Master that she can surrender to completely.
She can lead and be bold and have all those dominant traits because she has in her mind the kind of dominant leader, master and commander that she so desperately wants to follow. She really, really, wants someone else to be in charge and tell her what to do. But in the absence of that presence, she fills in the power void with a mental projection of her Master, or the Master she wishes she had. No man, not even a Master himself, has a more keen sense of what a Master ought to be than a woman who has a "slave heart".
Since her submissive desires are often considered weak or even psychologically unsound by those who don't understand her, she will give herself many justifications for her desires. She'll tell herself that it is tiring being the responsible one all the time and that letting someone else take the lead for a while is a form of relaxation. Or, she might reason that she's not really that good a planner and it would be so much better for everyone if she let someone else figure out what comes next. Sometimes she'll say that its just a role-playing bedroom sex game that she enjoys and she's not "really like that." Or, she'll deny it completely and tell herself to put away childish things and grow up.
And so she lies to herself to protect her "slave heart".
She has had good reason to hide her submissive desires since from a young age she has been confronted with situations that threatened that core of herself. Utter devotion and submission to another comes at the expense of being severely vulnerable. She has learned the hard way that there are those that would chastise her vulnerability as being weak; likely her own parents or other authority figures in her life. There are those that simply don't know how to handle her depth of submission and tacitly pass her by; perhaps her siblings. There are those that would seek to help her change into something she is not; perhaps a vanilla boyfriend. There are the takers who selfishly feed on her submissive charity without returning anything in kind; perhaps a lover or a husband. But she has dealt with all of those situations and convinced herself that it is prudent to protect her vulnerable self. She is no weak little thing, after all.
In her core she knows she is tough and strong and that it takes true greatness to surrender all that you are to another. She has energy abounding, skills that she's honed, time and education she's invested in herself, and a quest for ever improving herself so that she can eventually be found a worthy gift to the one she'll call Master. Like a soldier, she has trained solely to be at the disposal of her King. She seeks for direction, purpose, mission and to have her energies talents and skills directed to a cause she can rally behind because of her devotion to her Leader.
But beyond all these interactions that have taught her to hide her deep submissiveness, there are two mythical figures that pull harder at her "slave heart". They are nearly one and the same except one leads to her destruction and the other to her ultimate ecstasy. They are the beast and the warrior.
The beast is that vicious abuser who stalks her kind specifically, preys upon her singular desire to please and be pleasing, deceives her into surrendering unwisely so he can devour her limb by limb and leave her in a broken pile and go stalk his next victim. Strangely, this turns her on. She has fantasized about being raped, completely helpless and even the repugnance and violence of that act is erotic. Although she would never want an actual rape in real life, the fantasy of it fuels her desire for consensual non-consent.
The warrior is that vicious commander who stalks her kind specifically, preys upon her singular desire to please and be pleasing, seduces her into surrendering wisely so he can ravish her limb by limb and leave her in an exhilarated frenzy only to then command that she please him in return. Strangely, this turns her on too. She has fantasized about being humiliated and told what to do in excruciating detail as if she were mindless (which she is not!). Although she would very much like to try this in real life, it remains a fantasy she wishes someone would fuel.
On the one hand, the beast can reduce her to nothing and she finds that erotic because she senses herself as powerful but is yet overpowered even to the point of her demise .. the ultimate surrender. On the other hand, the warrior is just as ferocious and also easily overpowers her but instead of destroying her, he uses her for his own pleasure, provides some pleasure for her, and brings order, structure and purpose into her life. She knows the beast she's attracted to is no good for her, so she seeks the warrior with whom she will fare much better. The problem she always faces is: how do you tell the warrior from the beast?
Caught between these two mythological figures of her psyche, she wends her way through life, hiding her "slave heart", acting as if she was the Master she dreams of having. It is her defense mechanism. If she were ever truly faced by beast or warrior she knows she could not resist either, to her destruction or her glory. But all she ever accomplishes by donning this defensive mask was to obscure her most authentic self and the essence of her power.
It is in the very nature of a woman with a "slave heart" that she warms up slowly to a man. Everything life has taught her has told her to dominate in order to protect that vulnerable core; and yet, she craves to submit completely. She is warily on the lookout for the beast and the warrior. She dates and attracts men that she thinks are suitable. She does her homework, takes it slow and enters into a relationship that looks promising only to be then confronted with her two worst fears:
Now these fears will manifest in a woman's life in many ways and I'm using an allegory here to make the fundamental dichotomy concrete. I have done so to expose a mistake I've seen some women with a "slave heart" make. The problem is that the beast and the warrior are merely mythological archetypes. She'll never meet either of them. What she will meet is an ordinary man and if she's lucky an extraordinary man. But, what kind of actual (as opposed to mythological) man should she be looking for? The one with a "Master heart" of course.
The "Master hearted" man is purpose driven, fearless and relentless in the pursuit of his goals. He is driven to dominate and succeed in all areas of his life. He is self-assured, just, honest, benevolent, disciplined and strict. He seeks to direct others for the good of the group. He has vision beyond what others can see. He is the commander of his own ship and all who sail with him.
Just as she was driven to prepare herself for her eventual Master, he is driven to prepare a palace in which his slave will be safe. You see, the "Master hearted" man seeks the "slave hearted" woman as much as she seeks him. All his domination in the world is for her, to protect her, to enjoy her, and yes even to use her. Even before he ever meets her, the very thought of owning her fuels his every action. A "slave hearted" woman is the essence of motivation for a "Master hearted" man. If he loses her, or even the pursuit of her, his sails drop from a lack of wind and he floats listlessly in the doldrums. Without her, his life's work is uninspired. With her, he is energized and purposeful.
Now this description of the "Master hearted" man may sound a lot like the warrior and that is true. If it were not true, the "slave hearted" woman would likely not be attracted to him. But there is a key distinction. The warrior needs the woman with a slave heart for all the respite, comforts and attentions she will give to him. For all his conquests, she is his reward. She is who he comes home to and why he fights. He will command her because he feels he deserves her rewards for all his own efforts in securing peace at the risk of his own life. Unfortunately, this need is his undoing. For her to commit to surrendering completely, she cannot be needed by him. To achieve the purity of devotion she desires, he must not be weakened by her presence, only strengthened.
The "Master hearted" man does not need the "slave hearted" woman. He wants her. She is exceptionally valuable human property that he admires, respects, and treats well. As with anything owned, he wishes to increase her value to him, and so he teaches her how to serve in many capacities (much to her delight). While she is greatly admired because of his strong desire for her, the "slave hearted" woman is contented best in a relationship where she is not needed. This keeps her striving, and performing well, being useful and serving. In this submissive state she is happiest, knowing her place, using her talents, finding new ways to please her owner. It is in this structure that a "Master hearted" man will build where the "slave hearted" woman can find a place of total surrender.
Now when these two hearts get together there is an instant recognition. They immediately feel comfortable with each other, strangely so, as if "at home". More quickly than in any of their previous relationships, they find they can finish each other's thoughts and there is just something that clicks about the two of them being together. Being prudent they do the dating thing and the getting to know you thing and the trust building thing. But all along, both are impatient. They know they have to go through the typical relationship ritual and protocol, but they both already know the outcome. After the initial fears have been assuaged, after the trust has been built, after safety has been assured, and after character and mettle has been tested, there comes a tipping point.
She will completely relax, surrender and serve with distinction. He will completely relax, own and dominate with distinction. That moment of surrendering into each other is magic and the basis for my moniker. To commit 100%, to accept their natures fully, to embrace in the yin and yang of life, it is simply magic and rare and beautiful and when it does happen we all ought to celebrate the union of such a couple.
