Collarspace

Im a 51 year old Dominant who has been involved in BDSM for more than 15 years now after having beenintroduced by a former lover who was beginning to explore her own submissive nature.At the time, I knew little of BDSM but it was like an awakening,discovering how BDSM is so much more about trust, respect and having a strong mental connection than it was about sex toys, weird clothes and silly protocols. It was a deeper level of intimacy than any I have experienced before.

I might be a throwback to a simpler time as I prefer to get to know someone through conversation, to explore and share ideas and philosophies. I dont like to judge anyone based on what may or may not be on their profile, as many of them tend to be static, while opinions and ideas can change over time. What might have seemed important and necessary when you wrote your profile may no longer matter.

Long before the internet, people got to know each other through conversation, exchanging ideas with charm and wit, while paying close attention to each others reactions, body language and facial expressions. In the internet age, online anonymity lets anyone say and pretend to be anything they can imagine. And seeing as how a common complaint on many profiles is about fakes who want nothing more than online fantasies, meeting face to face seems like a quaint throwback to a time when people were more than a puckered-upcell phone picture in front of a mirror and a list of dislikes and dislikes.

Of course it isnt practical or even probable to attempt to meet or even chat with everyone. Sometimes a profile does provide just enough ination to eliminate someone from contention based on deal-breaking criteria (no offense but K9, kidplay, toilet play, WTF!?) But as civilized (yet considerably deviant!) humans, we should try to keep alive, through conversation, the personal attention that each of us seeks and cherishes in one or another. And isnt that part of why we are here in the first place?