pecs29

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	About pecs29 Dear Future Queen of Lust and Princess of Desire, Are you sick to death of seeing and swimming upstream against the "Sea of Cock" current to cross the never ending FetLife "Dick Picture Ocean" of profiles? Do you mentally cringe and emotionally flinch when you bravely go to open your FetLife House of Male Horrors mailbox every morning fully knowing that the overwhelming majority of "man-mail" that you receive will be from unoriginal, unintelligent, lazy (they won’t even spend a few minutes to read your entire profile), delusional, and pushy meat heads, creepy perverts, the desperate “please help me get off right now” types and the real crowd pleasers, "USDA certified industrial strength weapons grade bat shit crazy" guys. These types of guys truly believe that sending you random pictures of their dick or posting pictures of their dicks on their profile is the best or one of the best qualities and attributes they have to offer you as a woman. Or the equally pitiful guys that arrogantly command you to bow down and be submissive to them instantly over the internet while demanding you to send them nude pictures, your phone number, your presence on web chat and sexual favors through first time emails. These shallow, immature, classless, pathetic and vulgar actions go to further prove that the vast majority of the male species on this little blue planet don't have the first clue on how to approach, interact and treat a woman properly (submissive or not), or deeply understand what the unmistakable essence, depth, meaning and beauty that authentic BDSM relationships and play are all about. There is an enormous difference between a true-minded and spirited Dom/Top and some guy who is a control freak, hyper jealous, selfish, possessive, abusive, insecure and an egotistical misogynist that has no deep respect, trust, admiration and love for women. These vile predators manipulate, abuse and prey on women who might be new to the BDSM lifestyle/scene or women that have little to no self-esteem or self-worth and battle with severe emotional/mental/sexual issues stemming from their past abuses and traumas. These predators mask and hide themselves by proclaiming to the world they're a "Dom/Top/Master" or, "this is BDSM" to justify their abusive, dangerous and hurtful actions toward women. ================================================= "Language was invented for one reason, boys - to woo women - and, in that endeavor, laziness will not do". - Dead Poets Society To hear my voice read the passage below click ==> [https://tinyurl.com/qfelt8w] This is my definition of what a healthy, open, loving and true BDSM relationship means to me. Someone accepts the power and someone freely gives up their power to another by choice, not out of fear, ignorance, shame, guilt, or weakness... ...the one that gives up their power has done this out of strength, sacrifice, submission and selflessness for someone else that they completely trust, care for, respect, love, adore, cherish, want, need, desire, lust for, are addicted to and want to make blissfully happy... ...the one that accepts the power has done so out of compassion, humbleness, dominance, and selflessness for someone else that they completely trust, care for, respect, love, adore, cherish, want, need, desire, lust for, are addicted to and want to make blissfully happy. ================================================= One my favorite quotes of all-time that is 100% true for every person on this planet. It's also a mantra that I fiercely live by and closely guard myself on who I choose to spend even a minute of my time with. "You are the average of the five people you associate with the most." Please take a moment to read over my 180 Q&A survey to learn more about me and email your answers to me. This way I can get a better feel for your unique personality and learn about things you like, dislike and love. I double dog dare you to read and take the survey! ==> [https://fetlife.com/users/1152597/posts/3148591 This is my current BDSM hard limits list. ==> [https://fetlife.com/users/1152597/posts/3157472] "Your perception of me is a reflection of you. My reaction to you is an awareness of me." I am extremely affectionate. If you're within arm’s length of me, my hands or mouth will always be on you in public or in private. I love dogs and hate cats...but kittens are adorable. I adore kids. I don't have any kids yet, but I want more than anything in this world two kids - a boy and a girl. I am open-minded, giving, challenging, highly opinionated, assertive, brutally honest, bluntly direct, methodical, loyal, insightful, intense, playful, protective, inquisitive, articulate, guarded, thoughtful, patiently impatient (or is it impatiently patient), ambitious, creative, driven, passionate, total workaholic, adventurous, spontaneous and a self-admitted perfectionist. I'm wickedly sarcastic and razor-sharp witted (sorry no one's perfect). I'm part vampire (on my mother's side) and almost never asleep before 3am (I hate mornings to no end). "Do one thing every day that scares you." I'm an adrenaline junkie and I bungee jump, white water raft, skydive, shark dive and pretty much anything that can potentially kill me I want to do it. No, I don't have a death wish. I feel when we little humans come face to face with death that is the exact moment when we are the most alive and we're are forced to live in the moment. I'm supremely addicted to the internet, giving and receiving massages, taking showers in the dark (with a woman even better), watching and listening to thunderstorms, working with and helping children, eating decadent foods (I’m in cheesecake rehab as we speak), all things design, architecture, music, reading and researching obsessively, words (words are like language porn to me), Chinese food, watching documentaries, watching an entire TV series or season in a one day or weekend, road trips with no destinations, holding hands, Mountain Dew and Pepsi (my yellow and dark liquid crack), new experiences, self exploration and improvement and human sexuality and behavior. I love to make women laugh and smile as often as possible (if I can't get a handful of Miss Piggy snorts out of you every week I'm doing something wrong). The way women glow and light up when they laugh, giggle and smile is inescapably little girlish, angelic and heartening to me. I'm a closet snuggler (please don't tell anyone or I'll lose my bad boy membership card for sure) and gently stroking and running my fingers through a woman's long soft hair is one of my favorite nurturing things to do. If you love snuggling and enjoy having your hair softly stroked for several hours straight during a lazy Netflix weekend watching marathon, or in bed between all day and night sexathons and cozying up to a toasty fireplace then I might be the right man for you. I'm single (never been married, engaged or arrested <== this is FetLife, that's not a given by any means), 6'2 in bare feet, with short dark brown hair, hazel eyes, I have five tattoos, of German heritage, a die-hard Wisconsin Badgers fan and depending on my health/fitness activity I weigh between 235lbs-250lbs. My astrology signs are Aries and Chinese Zodiac is Rabbit. The last personality test I took stated I was an Extraverted iNtuitive Thinking Perceiver (ENTP) personality commonly referred to as "The Innovator”. The last naughty three-way I was involved in was with a seductive and stunning Cheesecake + Ice Cream = Strawberry Cheesecake Blizzard from Dairy Queen. :D I'm the CEO of two companies (a third next year I hope) and I am a writer (like, duh Ben, we couldn't tell you're a writer from the Guinness Book of World Records length profile you wrote) as well as a financially secure gentleman if you're wondering. I say this only to assure you that I don't survive off SpaghettiO's every night (but really who doesn't love them, especially with meatballs). I don't drive an old rust bucket of a car and I don't play video games, fantasy football or read comic books (women cosplayers can be really sexy, I will admit), have roommates, live with my parent's or grandparent's and I’m not on the FBI's Most Wanted List. At least not yet anyways (fingers crossed). I don't get jealous, controlling, or possessive of your guy friends, family, career, or other girlfriends. When you're with someone you trust; you are confident in yourself and selfless enough that you want the other person to be happy and fulfilled always, with or without you, in any given moment. I'm a venerable gentleman (we're a lost, dying, and mythical type like the unicorns) who will open every car door you'll ever get into, pull a chair out for you at dinner tables, always order for a woman, but only after I find out what she wants to eat first and paying for everything always. No, I'm not a shallow, superficial Sugar Daddy, nor do I suffer from Macho-Man disease please understand. I naturally treat the woman in my life always like my pampered Queen of Lust in public, and my dirty little Princess of Desire in private. I want to take care of a woman, not because she needs me to, not because I have to and not because it's expected from me, but because I truly want to take care of a special woman in my life always. I'm spontaneous and exceedingly wild sexually. Ever wanted to have sex or give/receive oral or hand love in public places, but your guy didn't want to? Don't worry; you'll probably be the one saying, "Here? Right now? You're f$%@ crazy, baby!" I believe with every fiber of my male DNA that I must have an instant physical "animalistic attraction" and an overpowering "lust at first site" feeling pulsating through me when I see or meet a woman for the first time in the real world or through online pictures and webcam. If I don't experience this feeling I will not be interested (here comes that brutal honesty I told you about earlier) in any type of physical or sexual interactions between us online or offline. The only exception being some innocent and playful online flirting through FetLife picture and post commenting. I do not believe in the pseudo, "love at first site" delusional dogma that most of society has been brainwashed into believing exists. Real love not infatuation defined by me in my cliff notes version is what mutually grows between two people after many enduring, honest, truthful, loving, compassionate and selfless actions (not words) that are repeated over a long period of time with another person. Last but not least, I am a hopelessly hopeless romantic with a slight BDSM twist. Foreplay, the word most guys dread. By far my favorite part about sexual exploration and intimacy with a woman. Endless hours upon days of long, sensual, wet, erotic, rough, raw, sticky, forceful, and heart-pounding and sweat inducing foreplay will be the norm when you are under my control and in my grasp. You must love giving and receiving oral sex all the time and anywhere. Basically consider yourself a professional Suckologist, or wish your job title in real life was a Lollipop Tech and have a severe oral addiction that is never satisfied like me or I'm afraid it would never work with us. Ever been with a guy that didn't go down on you, didn't go down on you often enough, was ok at it or completely awful at it? I love going down on a woman constantly, anywhere and anytime, for literally hours on end. Remember Luke Skywalker with his light saber in the "Star Wars" movies? You should see me use a vibrator on you; I'm like a Jedi Knight in the vibrator arts. "Fantasies do nothing for you or anyone else if they stay locked up in your head and are never released". I love role playing to no end, and whatever your naughty kinky imagination can think of, I'm probably up for or have done. I absolutely love and need to give and receive tons of nasty, dirty talk in and out of the bedroom constantly. The kind of dirty talk that would make a pornstar on ecstasy or a drunken Irish sailor blush bright red. There is nothing hotter and it’s an absolute must before, after or during sexapades with me. Eye Contact...Eye Contact...Eye Contact. Along with its highly confident, sexual cousin dirty talk, these two things sexually turn me on and drive me crazy more than anything. "Cocksucking and Hand-Job Staring Eyes", as I call it, with endless wave after wave of dirty talk used by you will turn me into a real life erupting Mount St. Helens volcano. "I think, therefore I flirt." - Passionate Ben I flirt a lot (like allot allot) on FetLife and in the real world be warned. I think all women (of any D/S dynamic or age) can find and feel (if she lets it) that a genuine, honest, non-vulgar or overtly sexual compliment can be seen as a sweet, thoughtful, cute, funny, creative, unique, sexy, adorable, comforting and kind gesture that can bring a little smile, giggle, laugh or make a woman's entire day better by one single genuine compliment given to her. A real compliment to me is a simple random act of chivalrous kindness and admiration for the opposite sex. Nothing more and nothing less. Cynically women nowadays are royally messed up and sadistically jaded towards the male gender that they think if a guy gives them any sort of a compliment then the guy must want to sleep with them or is physically/sexually attracted to them. This couldn’t be further from the case with me, please note this fact if we ever have any future online interactions together. Where you live doesn't really matter to me, be it another city, state or country. Long distance relationships can become close with a simple flight or, in the future when the time is right, moving to be closer together. I've never done drugs in my life, but I promise I will become a drug to you. The question is, will you become my drug? My Ideal Woman or Women... "Every man needs a woman, because just like in the game of chess, the queen always protects the king." I am only interested in non-smoking single; straight/bi-curious/bisexual women (no male/female or polygamy couples), age 24-40, with some morals. If you want to cheat on your boyfriend, fiancé, or husband please don't waste my time by contacting me. BDSM DOESN'T = NO MORALS, CLASS OR INTEGRITY I am looking for upfront and direct women. Meaning, I will only respond to messages from women that have multiple pictures of themselves (including at least one clear face picture) showing on their FetLife profile page like I do or they include one when they message me. If your FetLife profile page says your age is 94 or your location says Antarctica please don’t message me. I don’t waste time on what I feel are disingenuous game players. The most attractive and enduring thing about a woman to me is her emotional/mental/spiritual depth. A close second is a woman that laugh's easily and often and has a genuinely happy, upbeat, and positive personality and attitude. "There's a little bit of devil in her angel eyes." A woman with a voracious Aphrodite-like sexuality. She will be wild, submissive (but can and will be aggressive), insatiable, playful, adventurous, creative, pleasing, giving and spontaneous in the bedroom. When I say the word "bedroom", I mean every single solitary place on planet earth that we can devour and ravage each other’s bodies. If I was Superman (a boy can dream), my sexual/physical Kryptonite would be a woman wearing these things or had some or all of these physical features and traits: Collars (especially O-ring collars), choker necklaces, knee and thigh high boots (I can almost guarantee my future wife will have the biggest boot and collar collection in Texas someday), vinyl/rubber/PVC/latex/lycra/fishnet outfits, stockings, garter belts, chaps and gloves; sequined outfits (I'm like Disney's Nemo and really shiny things magically sex-merize me); full, plump, pouty, luscious lips; big breasts and head turning cleavage; a beautiful smile, and laugh used often; masquerade masks (there’s something sinfully seductive and mysterious about them), role playing costumes/outfits (nightly Halloween dress up); big hoop and dangly earrings; super glossy wet-looking lipstick and gloss; tight jeans with shiny designs on them (again shiny things short circuit my caveman brain); and of course the classic pigtails is naughty cuteness overload for me. You need to be a woman that will be my sexually-submissive muse. I can be a little sadist when the mood strikes (pun intended). Please understand I am not a sadist in any shape or form and I am not looking for a masochist. I'm only interested and obsessed in giving a woman that I am with as many different types of sensations, feelings, experiences, emotions and orgasms as possible. Role playing something different every night to be lost in our own endless XXX imaginations or engaging in dirty talk by phone, webcam or in person that I promise will make you wet, shaky and sexually intoxicated for days on end. Or maybe total sensory deprivation and orgasm denial (my favorite 1-2 punch) play for several hours, where I tie you up from head to toe, blindfold you and put earplugs or iPod ear buds on you. I sexually tease and torture your sinful body slowly and methodically with you fully submersed in the erotic moment. Paddles, riding crops, floggers, canes, candle wax, rulers, belts, pinwheels, nipple clamps, leashes, handcuffs, restraints, ball gags and blindfolds: I have them all to make your beautiful submissive body tremble with sheer delight. An extremely busty and a healthy body. I can't lie; a physically voluptuous, bodacious, and buxom body makes me rabid with lust and desire, and I deeply need that in a woman. A woman that will be sexually spontaneous anywhere, anything and anytime, but only with me. A woman that loves to dress sexy and provocative all the time, anywhere we go in and out of the bedroom. All eyes focused on you all the time, regardless of where we go, would be perfect by me. To me, this signals a woman who is acutely confident in herself, her body and her sexuality. It also makes me feel unbelievably lucky and blessed to have you in my life. Because I know that I'm the only man that gets to take you home, to the car or the alley behind the restaurant or the bar that we closed down and I can have you do whatever I want, or I can do whatever I want to you. This amazing short verse encapsulates exactly what I'm hoping to find someday with one extraordinary woman. "Her love roared louder than his demons". A woman devoted to me in every way imaginable. You are mine, and I am yours. I don't want a commitment between us; I want a healthy sexual, physical, mental, spiritual and emotional addiction to each other. Commitments come and go like the night, made up of mostly hollow words, actions and promises between two people in this twisted, cruel and ugly world. But true addictions if one is lucky can last a lifetime and is what I am searching endlessly to find and capture in my life. A woman that is ultimately open-minded enough to at least explore the idea of being sexually submissive, and only needs the right man to guide and mold her into a happy little submissive angel. Warmest Regards, Passionate Ben September-2015 May the "fuck you force field" protect and be with you always.

A little bit more about me in conjunction with the survey parts 1 & 2 I posted awhile back.

Please email me your answers to the survey questions if you dare.

1. Red Vines or Twizzlers? Red Vines

2. Margarita with or without salt? Without

3. Frozen Margarita or On The Rocks Margarita? Frozen Margarita

4. Pizza Hut, Domino's, Papa John's or Little Caesar's? Pizza Hut

5. Prefer A&W or Sonic drive thru? A&W

6. Prefer a man to be clean shaven, stubble or beard? Clean shaven

7. What state or country were you born in? Wisconsin

8. Led Zeppelin, Rolling Stones or The Beatles? Rolling Stones

9. Favorite way to have a potato is baked, mashed, fried or french fries?
Mashed potatoes

10. Name three places you fantasize about having sex or giving/receiving oral sex?
A Church, going through a car wash and on a boat.

11. What's your favorite fruit? Watermelon, eaten outside with salt

12. What's your favorite vegetable? Potato

13. What's your favorite candy? Jellie Bellies, those things are like crack I swear.

14. Do you own a tablet type device? Yes

15. Name 7 of your favorite smells in the world?

Fresh cut grass, babies, fresh fallen rain, baby oil, pumpkin pie, leather and a woman's hair

16. Do you prefer cake or pie? Pie

17. Name 6 of your favorite sounds in the world?
Little kids giggling, crackle of a fireplace, a woman cumming, waves crashing on the beach, a woman singing softly, children playing at a swimming pool

18. Name 6 of your favorite touches in the world?
A woman's body right out of the shower/bathtub, a puppies soft little ears, a babies little butt, latex/PVC/vinyl/rubber outfits on a woman, satin or silk sheets, that cleavage spot right between two large breasts, it's so addictive and soft.

19. Have you ever messed around with a Ginger/Redhead? Yes

20. Have you EVER cheated (kissing someone is cheating fyi) on your boyfriend/girlfriend, fiance or husband/wife? NO and never would!

21. Have you EVER been cheated on by someone? Yes, only once that I know of.

22. Have you ever been married or engaged before? NO

23. Do you have any kids? No

24. Do you have a dog or a cat? No, but will get a dog soon.

25. Ever had sex or gave/received oral sex in a sauna or hot tub? No, but in my mini dream house I'm building next year I will have both a infrared saune and hot tub so hopefully I will be able to say yes. :D

Passionate Ben

Unless it is
MAD
PASSIONATE
EXTRAORDINARY
LOVE
It is a waste of time.
There are too many medicore
things in LIFE
LOVE
should
not
be one
of them!

I get asked constantly why am I still single, this beautiful saying summons it up why.
I will not now or ever settle for an ok, nice, good, average medicore, fine relationship or type of love.

The greatest thing I can ever give a woman is my passionate love and vice versa, so why would one ever give so much and get nothing less than that back? - Passionate Ben

If you are lucky enough to find a way of life you love, you have find the courage to live it! - John Irving

"People think a soul mate is your perfect fit, and that's what everyone wants. But a true soul mate is a mirror, the person who shows you everything that is holding you back, the person who brings you to your own attention so you can change your life.

A true soul mate is probably the most important person you'll ever meet, because they tear down your walls and smack you awake. A soul mates purpose is to shake you up, tear apart your ego a little bit, show you your obstacles and addictions, break your heart open so new light can get in, make you so desperate and out of control that you have to transform your life..."

Ok, alittle more about me in conjunction with the 100 questions part 1 survey I posted and please email your answers to this survey.

1. Your Favorite color? Black

2. Your Favorite dessert? NY style Cheesecake with strawberries

3. Your favorite bar drink? Jack and Coke

4. Name three people in history past or present you want to meet more than any other? Jesus, Einstein, Buddha

5. Ass, legs or breast man (for ladies ass, arms or chest on a guy)? Biggest LARGE breast lover this side of the Mississippi!

6. Prefer fake or real breasts? Fake

7. Favorite type of night life? Lounge, nightclub or sports bar? Lounge

8. Do you have a full, queen or king size bed? King size

9. Do you have any pets? Not yet, but hope to buy a pure bred Champion breed English (not American like almost all labs you see) Labrador in 2011.

10. Do you want kids? Yes, more than anything someday.

11. How many kids ideally do you want? Two, one boy and one girl.

12. 5 biggest turn-ons? Intelligence, dirty talk, sexual submissiveness, BIG breasts, a woman that always dresses sexy/naughty/provactive regardless of any type of occassion.

13. 5 biggest turn-offs? Dishonesty, bad manners, sexually prudish/boring, uneducated (not meaning having a college degree either), and being selfish.

14. When did you lose your virginity? 18 1/2 years old my freshman year in college. Late bloomer!

15. 3 favorite physical features on the opposite sex? Big luscious breasts, long soft hair and soft silky skin.

16. 3 favorite BDSM things to do to someone else (or have done to you?) Spanking, tying up, verbally and physically disciplining.

17. Ever had sex or got off/got someone off in a bar or nightclub or restaurant? Yes, yes, yes

18. Largest older gap in age with someone you've been with? Total Mrs. Robinson experience my freshman year of college. My buddies girlfriend's mother's best friend got drunk one night and whamo. She was 22 years older than me!

19. Coffee or tea drinker? Neither yuck!

20. How many tattoos do you have currently? 5

21. How many piercings do you have currently? 0, used to have nipple pierced years ago.

22. Are your parent's still married? No, divorced.

23. Ever had sex or got off/got someone off at work? Yes

24. Ever get caught masturbating by someone? Yes

25. Pony tail or pigtails? Pigtails

26. Ever spanked someone (or been spanked) so hard they bruised? Yes

27. Favorite place you like to cum on a woman (or on you)? Her breasts.

28. Ever used safe words before? Yes

29. What's your favorite color you love to see on a woman (or man)? Black hands down, but hot pink or red are close seconds.

30. What's your favorite clothing color you like to wear? Black

31. Favorite pizza toppings? Pepperoni, green olives and extra cheese.

32. Do you love, dislike or don't care vampire movies? Love them, even the bad ones.

33. Ever been video taped during sex or foreplay? No

34. Ever received oral sex while you were talking to someone on the phone? Yes

35. Ever gave oral sex while someone was on the phone? Yes

36. Have your ever been a stripper, shot girl or bartender before? No

37. Do you work fulltime, part time, not at all or a full time college student right now? Work fulltime

38. After someone goes down on you and they want to kiss you right after, do you think, "that's sexy, "I can tolerate it" or "no way yuck"? That's sexy

39. Ever been out of the country before (not including Canada, Mexico or any Carribean island)? Yes

40. Prefer surfing or skiing? Surfing

41. Oral sex you can literally do or have done for hours straight on someone before or not? Yes, all the time til my tongue goes numb! LOL!

42. Anal sex you love, like or dislike doing it? Like

43. Have you ever skydived before? Yes

44. Have you ever scuba dived before? Yes

45. Have you ever bunjee jumped before? Yes

46. Have you ever been to a swingers club? No

47. Have you ever been to a sex club before? No

48. Would you rather go out on the town most nights or stay in most weekend nights? Stay in

49. Ever had phone/webcam sex with someone that you had never met in person before? Yes, yes

50. Ever had a one night stand before? Yes

Passionate Ben

Who You Really Are Survey
By Passionate Ben

I've listed 100 questions that will reveal alot more about myself. Hopefully, you'll just copy the questions and email me your answers to let me know more about who you are?

1. Lots of dirty talk or please be quiet? LOTS of dirty talk

2. Coke or Pepsi? Pepsi

3. Steak or Seafood? Steak - Ribeye, done medium.

4. Pancakes or French Toast? French Toast - cinnamon is my fav.

5. Beer or wine? Wine

6. Wine or hard liquor? Liquor, Jack Daniels or Vodka.

7. Jager shots or Tequila shots? Jager

8. Morning sex or night sex? Night sex

9. Rather shower or take a bath with someone? Shower

10. Early riser or night owl? Night owl

11. At work you have a boss or you are the boss (own a business)? I'm the boss

12. Vanilla, Strawberry or Chocolate ice cream? Strawberry

13. Love or hate sarcasm? Love it

14. Cry easily or hardly ever cry? Hardly ever cry

15. Prefer Rock/Heavy metal or Rap/Hip Hop music? Rock/Heavy metal

16. Doggstyle or missionary position? Doggystyle

17. Phone sex or webcam sex? Webcam sex

18. Get your hair pulled or do the hair pulling? Do the hair pulling

19. Be spanked or do the spanking? Do the spanking?

20. Be tied up or do the tieing? Tieing up people

21. In public you are kissy face/huggy bear or "don't touch me we're in public? kissy face/huggy bear

22. Watch porn on your TV or computer? Computer

23. Desktop or laptop user? Laptop

24. Blackberry, Droid or iPhone user? Blackberry

25. Rather watch a movie at home or at movie theater? At home

26. Love, like or dislike kids? Love

27. Love, like or dislike animals? Love

28. Dog or cat lover? Dogs

29. Want kids or don't want kids (anymore) ever? Want kids

30. Prefer a cabin in the mountains or condo on the beach vacation? Beach condo

31. Sex by roaring fire or by candelight? By fire - and yes I have a fireplace

32. Rather cook or be cooked for? Cooked for

33. Breakfast, lunch or dinner? Dinner

34. Fitness freak or couch potatoe? Fitness Freak

35. Pretty quiet during sex or very loud? Very loud

36. Prefer cowgirl front or missionary position? Cowgirl front

37. Spitter or swallow like a champ? Swallow

38. SUV, truck or car person? SUV

39. Neat freak or messy bessy? Neat freak

40. McDonald's or Wendy's? Wendy's

41. Rather watch a comedy or drama movie? Comedy

41. Smile alot or not enough? Not enough

42. Love being in control or being controlled? Being in control

43. Rather give or get a massage? Get a massage

44. Have brothers and sisters? Nope

45. Sunrise or sunset? Sunset

46. Leather or lace? Leather

47. Leather or latex? Latex

48. Dress or skirt? Skirt

49. High heels or boots? Boots

50. Prefer tattoos or no tattoos? Prefer tattoos

51. Halloween, Christmas, Valentines or Thanksgiving? Halloween

52. You have a career or you have a job? Career

53. Shy or outgoing? Outgoing

54. Laid back usually or intense? Intense

55. Republican, Democrat or Independent? Independent

56. Religious or spiritual? Spiritual

57. Shop at the mall or shop online? Shop online

58. Have a musicial talent or no musicual talent? No musical talent

59. Live alone or live with others? Live alone

60. Eat healthy or a junk food junkie? Eat healthy

61. Watch porn or don't watch porn? Watch porn

62. Open gifts Christmas morning or Christmas Eve? Christmas morning

63. Rather get gifts or buy gifts for someone? Buy someone gifts

64. Have or don't have piercings? Have

65. Going to a strip club you say, "hell yes" or "hell no"? Hell yes

66. 3-way sex opportunity arises do you say, "maybe" or "no way"? Maybe

67.Prefer blue or brown eyes? Blue

68. Prefer brown or hazel eyes? Hazel

69. Blonde or brunettes? Blondes

70. Long or short hair? Long

71. Good girl or bad girl? Bad girl

72. When someone says role playing you think, "dressing up is for kids" or "I love to play dress up"? Love to play dress up

73. Sex in all it's different forms is more mental, emotional or physical to you? Mental

74. You're a more emotional or mental person? Mental

75. Do you prefer to shun the spotlight or all eyes on you all the time? Shun spotlight

76. Do you love, like or dislike giving oral sex? love

77. Sex is the biggest, smallest or an equal part in any healthy relationship? Equal

78. Soup or salad? Salad

79. Bagel or toast? Bagel

80. Scrambled eggs or eggs over easy? Eggs over easy

81. Leader or follower? Leader

82. Watch a movie or read a book? Read a book

83. Are you close or not close to your family? Not close

84. Love or hate surprises? Love

85. Love or hate birthdays? Love

86. Public Exhibitionist or in doors only? Exhibitionist

87. Prefer to live downtown or in the country? Country

88. Lights on or lights off? Lights off

89. Went to college or no college? College

90. Sex toys are a MUST or there just OK to use? MUST

91. Love, like or dislike anal sex? Like

92. Love, like or dislike holding hands? Love

93. Snuggler or not much of a snuggler? Snuggler

94. Deeper the conversation the better or "I like to keep things light usually" Deeper the better

95. Love, like or dislike traveling? Love

96. I like being in my comfort zone or prefer being out of my comfort zone? Out of my comfort zone

97. Love, like or dislike being challenged? Love

98. Love, like or dislike trying totally new things in life? Love

99. "I would do anything for someone I care about" or I have limits" I have limits

100. Best part of a relationship is the beginning and getting to know someone or in the middle when someone knows everything about you? Beginning

Shoot me your answers everyone, I look forward to reading them all.

Passionate Ben

Why Pessimism and Negativity Destroy Relationships and People

By Passionate Ben

Have you ever met someone online or in person that you started to become friends with or maybe even possible lovers?

Then the farther you got into the relationship that person did everything possible to screw it up or sabotage it (most times they don't even know there doing it even after you repeatedly tell them).

There doubt, pessimism, and negativity are so toxic to themselves, to you, and the relationship you just can't stand to be around them or talk to them or at least until they actually change there behavior toward themselves and you.

It breaks my heart when I read or hear from others when this has happened to them. It's much more difficult when it happens to me personally with someone I like.

There self sabotage of themselves and the potential relationship we could have or did have with each other.

YOU and YOU alone in every second of your life and the same holds true for every person from the past, present, and future controls if they choose to be happy or sad, optimistic or pessimistic, angry or forgiving, scared or hopeful, think rationally or irrationally, have faith or have no faith, depressed or joyful, and fulfilled or utterly empty feeling inside.

No one is 100% positive, optimistic, and happy all the time. I sure the hell am not!

But (there is always a but right) when you become enlightened and strong enough to understand and grasp that you control and can change at any time how you think, act, believe and the things you say...life gets a whole lot easier and become truly a gift.

Article I wrote few years ago.

Why are women so scared when they finally meet a real man?

By Passionate Ben

A real man...

The illusive myth, dream, legend, and folklore of the common day woman around the world.

The thing every single woman hopes and prays for everytime she goes to a bar, club, event, concert, party or any type of public gathering.

Meeting a real man...not a guy...not a boy...not a player...but a real man.

You've endured wading through the bar/club scene guy swamp night after night...week after week..month after month...even year after year.

Hoping that this new man you just met won't f*ck you over, hoping this man will prove you wrong and be different then the rest, hoping this man will treat you like you have always hoped for deep down, hoping you can trust this man with all your heart, and hoping this man won't level you like a freight train like others before him.

Then magic happens...the Love Gods shine down on you...cupid shoots an arrow into you...the universe finally aligns just for you...or whatever catchy metaphor you want to use.

You finally meet a living breathing real man.

You're stunned, challenged, scared, excited, turned on, attracted, perplexed, confused, your mind races, your heart beats faster, skeptical, anxious, cautious, and utterly intrigued by this new man you just met and getting to know.

This is new ground...a new chapter in a book you've never wrote or read before.

You're on shaky ground for the first time...you actually don't know how to act properly.

Your guard has always been up, you've settled for so long that you have forgotten what you really want, you've memorized all the head and dating games, you've seen and been in drama so many times you've lost count.

But there he is standing in front of you like a mystical unicorn.

Things go great at first...but panic starts to rear it's ugly head soon enough...and then subsconsciously or consciously you do everything you can think of to f*uck it up as fast as you can and you don't even know why.

Why you say?

FEAR...fear of being rejected by him...fear of falling in love so hard you may never recover...fear that you don't really deserve a man like this...fear that you'll never be good enough for this wonderful man ever...fear of true intimacy...fear of letting go of your past...fear of someone knowing you better then you know yourself...and fear that you finally could have what you have always wanted.

Fear is natural and a built in survival mechanism that we all have from the beginning of time. Flight or Fight is in all of our human DNA. When you meet such a man, if your lucky enough you will have those two simple options

- Flight or Fight.

Will you choose to run, sabotage the relationship, and ultimately choose flight because the fear you have overpowers everything else sadly...

...or will you fight...your still very scared...but you're not going to lose this real man because your weak...you're going to fight with every ounce of your being to keep this real man in your life for as long as you can.

When you meet a real man ladies always remember YOU decide the outcome and have two options - "flight or fight"

Which one will you choose for yourself and the future?

"And after all, isn't pain merely pleasure from a different perspective?" - Unknown

In a short response to the Tiger Woods and Jesse James BS fiasco in the news constantly that I'm so sick of...

First off women especially (guys too) beware of falling in love/lust with a person's POTENTIAL (90% woman do this to there nightmare) and DO NOT waste your time trying to change a man - why because men resist change more than almost anything else and usually only decide to change when it is way too late if ever.

Second responsibility for one's own actions is not the same as a cry of addiction or victimhood i.e. Jesse James/Tiger Woods (Christie Brinkley's husband after screwing his EIGHTEEN year old assistant actually blamed on national TV Christie Brinkley for making him cheat!) is not being a real man when they attempt to escape accountability and consequences by using a BS excuse of "I am a sex addict" (pathetic and completely made up term for rich celebs mostly) instead of admitting the real reasons they engaged in this behavior of deceit, betrayal and infidelity (lack of morals & values, lack of self-discipline & self-control, selfishness, narcissism, ego, and instant gratification.)

Food for thought...

Isn't it funny how it's called "sex addict" ONLY when someone actually gets caught!

Isn't it also funny how it's 99.9% ALWAYS GUYS they are so called "sex addicts", not woman!

And lastly why are so called "sex addicts" are almost always married or in a serious relationship and NOT single!

In conclusion I'm still in awe that more woman don't just switch sides and say the hell with the entire male species as a whole.

Hence why the few unicorn type men that are honorable have such an uphill battle in the fight for finding "the one or ones" or hell just getting some old fashion loving - of course BDSM loving! ;)

PB

I think it's essential in life to live out all your fantasies, especially one's sexual fantasies!

Fantasies do nothing for you or anyone else if they just stay locked up in your head and never are released. Can you imagine if the Wright Brothers never fantasized about flying or the people envisioning walking on the moon for the first time or me in a hot three way with Cleopatra and Lady Godiva (ok last one won't happen for me in this lifetime but maybe the next one!

Here's to releasing my own and others special fantasies of every shape, size and form in 2010.

Passionate Ben

My 2010 promise to the future Mrs. Passionate Ben wherever you are...

"I will love YOU for your MIND, not your BODY; but I will play with and lust for your gorgeous body always, but I will never play with your heart or mind.

I will seduce your MIND so that you will freely give me your entire body, I will find and capture your SOUL so you will be mine forever."

- Passionate Ben

It's my bday....yippeeeee! Yes, I still love bdays, even when I'm 80 I will love them! :D

Hi all, I can't believe it's been 14 months since I last posted a blog post. WOW!

Why you ask so long?

Because does anyone ever even read anymore. Let's be honest reading in America is at a all-time low and dropping yearly. People on datings sites and especially collarme.com look at the pictures then contact people 9/10 times without reading there profiles, God forbid they read some of there blog posts to get to know them better.

There not interested in substance just fluff, and the fluff is our physical appearance. Don't get me wrong, if I'm not attracted at least thru physical pictures of someone I won't contact them.

I'm not saying physical appearances aren't important, there hugely important. But what else do you bring to the table, because all our looks are going to go soon enough in this life.

Ok, enough with that little rant.

I don't know if anyone else has ever felt or feels like this, but I have for quite sometime about going to bars/clubs meeting people.

It's Friday night 2:30am and I'm laying in bed thinking about tomorrow. ACL festival is in Austin this weekend, haven't decided if I will go on Sunday or not. UT plays Arkansas in football, and Austin will be insanely crazy this weekend downtown where I live.

For a very long time (Still do) the first thing that I think about is if I meet a hot woman downtown will she be sexually compatible with me in the long run.

Not if she's gives oral or swallows (or even good at it) not that she wants to please me and be pleased, or if she's even good in bed at all.

What I think about is, my sort of handicap I call it. That handicap is I'm a just a very sexually dominant man in the bedroom and want and need a sexually submissive woman to compliment me in the bedroom.

Like most people or couples in the S/M community I do like vanilla sex very much. I love snuggling, spooning, holding hands, or just good ole fashion traditional sex.

I believe you don't have to give something up, to enjoy something else.

I've gotten to know women recently over the last 12 months, and I think I do a good job of explaining S/M and what is means to me to a woman.

But when is the right time to bring this up?

How do you know what there reaction will be?

I had a hot big chested blonde woman from Houston I met on the lake this summer. I was a little drunk and I admit this wasn't the best time to bring this up. But I'm direct and blunt even more so with booze, and I somehow brought up I was a top in S/M.

She freaked and after I told her you would've thought from her expression I just killed a baby seal at a PETA rally.

She said I could never do that, I said what stuff? She like most people have this ignorant, naive, and messed up notion of what S/M is and what it would be to them. I tried to explain that true S/M isn't all about pain or physical stuff. Or even bondage for that matter.

It's a million times deeper then that and mostly emotional and mental (at least to me), hell she was even against role playing.

Suffice to say she was into me, and then I was like that's me sorry this ain't going to work ever. Awkard moment and then she took off.

When I'm out now I instantly size up women I find physically attractive, I say to myself she may be physical beautiful or hot. But can I turn her to the dark side! LOL! Or is she already into this type of stuff.

Most the women I have dated or been with sexually were as vanilla as one can be. But I turned them because that submissive or switch need was always there in them, it just needed someone strong, patient, and a good teacher to show, explain, and teach them about true S/M. Not the porn verison.

We all come to a sites like collarme.com, alt.com, or bondage.com because we get or we are totally bored (at least I do to no end) with the bar/club seen in any city we live in. Most people are, not just the S/M crowd. It's why over 70% of single people have now tried online dating or meeting people!

I just read a amazing article that backed up what I've wrote articles, did radio shows on, and told people for years.

That people don't find love, long term relationships, or soulmates (if you believe in that) in bars/clubs. Sometimes, yes but it's as rare as meeting a honest politician! ; )

Only 9% of guys say they have ever met a woman in a bar/club and were then in a serious relationship, engaged, or married to them. Women only 2%, that means 98% of women that go to bars/clubs NEVER find or have long lasting relationships with the guys they meet or hook up with there. : O

This is based on VANILLA SEX people mostly, holy crap what do you think the odds are for us true S/Mers at bars/clubs to find "the one"?
Not good.

Hence why we go to sites like this, to find people that have similar attitudes, beliefs, fetishes, etc. Sadly we have to wad thru endless bullsh*t of wanna be's tops or bottoms, fake profiles, fronts for porn sites, people with fake pictures, people pretending to be one sex when there the opposite, people that are married but say there single and list continues. : (

Do you ever ask yourself, "where is the ONE for me already?" Well, I'm asking where are you? Because I'm right here waiting to start an amazing life with you.

Passionate Ben

Why soulless women online are trying to destroy the hopes, hearts, & minds of the last few gentlemen left in the world...

Why do people lie?

Why do men and women lie on various online dating sites around the world like collarme?

How have a select group of heartless people online in such a short time completed stripped and jaded to know end (including myself) people's total distrust of who and what there interacting with online. At least at first or until substantial proof can be presented to the other.

You've heard of small claims court, this is adult online dating court now! LOL!

I want to preface this article by saying this is based on my personal experiences the last four years dating online on more then 35 different dating sites.

I've literally interacted with thousands of women online and got research from even more women about dating online. The good, the bad, and yes the very ugly.

I've been hurt very badly just once before by a woman in Arizona and disappointed by countless other times by women that I caught in minutes or within a week or two. These relationships and online interactions from day one were based solely on blatant lies and deception from these women to me. (Come on I'm so cute and lovable how can anyone lie to this face! LOL!)

I think women should hear this information first hand because you hopefully won't get all defensive, pissed off, annoyed, shocked, surprised, or completely blow a guy off when they ask to see some proof in the future online. (I will be 100% of the time!)

The same goes for a woman wanting the same proof from a man that she also meets online. Fair is fair!

What kind of proof am I talking about?

Simple proof that your pictures you send them or they see on your profile are REALLY of you. (The biggest lie on ADULT dating sites presently that's spreading like an uncontrollable virus!)

There are about three different ways anyone can prove there pictures are of them and I will share this later on in the article.

Is lying a human thing; are we the only species that deliberately lies?

Many animals engage in deception, or deliberately misleading another to save there own life (Camoflouage -like in the Monarch Butterfly or the Praying Mantis), but only humans are wired to deceive both themselves and others for no real reason, researchers say.

Sigh...to think most people call animals the primitive species on this planet. Not me!

Some of the reasons people choose to lie include the desire to:

Avoid conflict,
Avoid someone else' s anger or hurt,
Avoid hurting someone' s feelings,
Diminish someone else or make them feel bad,
Feel more worthy of admiration and respect
Be lusted after, desired, and have greater sex appeal to others,
Gain power,
Avoid having to face an unpleasant truth about themselves,
Avoid admitting mistakes, and
Keep "the boat from rocking", hoping everything will pass over, unnoticed?

When a person lies, they have broken a bond ? an unspoken agreement to treat others as we would like to be treated. Serious deception often makes it impossible for us to trust another person again.

There is nothing more sacred in a relationship (friend, family, or lover) to me than your trust of each other.

"It's tied in with self-esteem," says University of Massachusetts psychologist Robert Feldman. "We find that as soon as people feel that their self-esteem is threatened, they immediately begin to lie at higher levels."

The first time I was truly devasted and hurt by women's lies online was about 1 1/2 years ago. She contacted me via myspace of all places.

She was 44 years old and looked like she was a 30 year old Playboy playmate. I mean the general publics physical definition of really beautiful as any women in TV or magazines.

It wasn't that she had easily noticeable fake photos (meaning the pictures on there profile are not of them, there of someone else) are for me as easy as breathing nowadays sadly. Once you know what to look for, it's easy to spot fake profiles and pictures that are fronts for porn sites or spammers.

What made this situation so extravagant is the great length and the measures of the deceptions she endured.

The relationship started off like most online, emailing back and forth on the dating site you're a member of first. Then exchanging personal email addresses, then instant chatting for hours, then sending more pictures to each other, and finally talking for endless hours on the phone.

Here is where I missed one crucial step that is so important for people online dating now.

This woman literally sent me a couple hundred pictures of herself. Of course you would think if someone sent you that many pictures (all of the same women) they would be real and honest right? WRONG!

What was peculiar and was a major red flag to me was almost ALL the photos were professionally taken. The other flag was almost none of the pictures she sent me had another person besides her in it.

We had become very emotionally and sexually bonded by doing such intimate things as phone sex dozens of times to climax, she cried many times on the phone to me (allot of personal issues as well as felt comfortable venting to me). Basically becoming very close without adding the physical part of the equation yet. This is the way it's should go right for all relationships?

She was model/playmate gorgeous and was a successful insurance agent that made a very good living. I was thinking the total package. Sigh...

After about three weeks I started to get more suspicious. Without being one of those guys that wants women to get on webcam instantly, only so they can see you naked and jerk off! (Nothing wrong with that in itself! I actually like as well, but only when the trust and connection is at a certain point with another person. HUGE difference!).

I said to her let's get on webcam for each other. She made excuses right away (first sign always starts with lame excuses of some sort) about not having a webcam. I said it costs a mere $50 at Wal-mart/Target/Best Buy and it would mean allot to me if I could see her.

If someone isn't willingly to spend a mere $50 to make you feel more at ease and safe or help you both of you become closer on some levels. Which a webcam surely does, and then really what the hell would you want to even talk to them again for?)

She went and bought a webcam after weeks of me basically threatened to end the relationship online out of disgust and obvious fear. I was getting to the point where I knew something was really wrong and wanted to end the fear and sick feelings I had daily. (Aren't those the worse feelings in the world? Like the sick feelings we all get in your stomachs when we break up with someone!)

She then bought a webcam and then went on to say she she couldn't connect it properly. Then it was her internet connection was down, then it was the power was out in her city because of a storm, then it was she was too busy at that time, she didn't look good that day, she was having a bad hair day, or she was going to be out of town.

It was BS excuse after BS excuses on why she couldn't get on webcam for me.
After about 8 weeks of this emotional roller coaster from hell, I gave her the final warning.

She finally out of sheer guilt I imagine, emailed me a webcam picture she took of herself. OMFG!

She looked nothing like the pictures she had emailed me or had posted on her profile. I'm not saying she added 20 or more pounds. I'm not saying she changed her hair color or cut her hair. I'm not saying it was a bad angle or self taken picture of her. I'm not saying it was an old picture from 5-10 years ago.

She WAS NOT the women she had been pretending to be, whose pictures she was sending me and luring other men online with!!

I was so angry, hurt, used, betrayed, I felt like a complete freaking idiot, and I felt so ashamed. Two months of my life wasted. A couple hundred hours (no kidding) spent on the phone and instant chat getting to know this woman.

All an evil thought out and methodical lie I was told!

I know of thousands of people (probably tens of millions in all reality) personally that this kind of stuff has happened to, just not to this extreme degree.

Think about this?this woman had to find and then steal hundreds of pictures of this woman she wanted to be. I don't care if your looking for Pamela Anderson picures, finding hundreds of different pictures of anyone online and stealing them is a daunting and tedious task.

Some pretty dark and demented crap I tell. To think all you ladies thought guys online had this lieing market cornered! We guys suffer alot to!

Ok, so now you know what's up. Your probably wondering how can I put men at ease when there viewing my profile or when I'm sending them pictures of myself.

It's so easy?1?2?3 easy!

Depending on where your trust levels and relationship is online with different people, one if not all of these can be done below to assure your man that you're as real as it gets.

Websites like myspace state in there instructions to its members (especially actors, models, musicians, models, porn stars, or other public figures and entertainers.) You get an 8 ½ x 11 piece of paper. You first write on the sheet of paper in big words your handle name that you use on the dating site (mine's pecs29 on collarme) then you write the date of when you took the picture (July, 5, 2007 for example) and you say something to the effect, "This is the real? (Your handle name or real name whatever you feel comfortable doing). If you want to be really specific with some guy you met online and make him feel special as well, you just say, "Hi (insert guys name) instead of saying the generic, "This is the real?" (This way is perfect to use ALWAYS at any stage of dating online)
Almost ALL cell phones now come equipped with a camera phone, unless you have an antique. I just got a new Katana phone yesterday and it's amazing. To assure your man your pictures are real, you simply take a self portrait of yourself. You can go into your bathroom (everyone has one of those) and aim the camera at the mirror allowing you to shoot a picture of yourself. Or you can have a friend take a better picture of you. Then you just send that picture of yourself take in real time to your man. (This way is perfect to use once you have exchanged phone numbers with one another!)
Webcam?webcam?webcam - you got to love technology! Once you feel comfortable enough with a guy and know it's not just about him trying to convince you to get naked and have webcam sex with him. Jump on webcam for him, but keep really short. Again this is ONLY to put him at ease and to assure him you are all of that and a bag of chips. Imagine it almost like a quick flirt and tease. You say hi to him, you flash the winning smile, you show off that cute girly giggle. That's it. Just enough to prove your real and enough to want him begging for more. (This way is perfect to use once you have exchanged instant chat ids with one another!)

Again these three things can be flipped and you can have guys do the same for your peace of mind as well ladies.

Going forward and in with any current interactions I'm having online with women as of now (only one and she knows who she is JA!) after a few days or within a week I will insist on at least one of the three ways mentioned above be done.

If this doesn't happen I will cut off ALL interactions with these women to protect myself from being used, betrayed, and hurt again. I hope all you gorgeous ladies on here can relate and understand why I must insist on doing this.

Again any woman or man that can't understand these simple and common sense steps to online dating, is someone that is probably hiding something from you, doesn't want to get caught in there lies to you, or is a very selfish and naïve person altogether about online dating.

Personally this would be someone that I wouldn't care to associate with online or off for that matter.

Take care all,

Passionate Ben

What a "Real Man" is!

by Passionate Ben?

1. A REAL MAN respects his friends and family first and foremost in his life.

2. A REAL MAN raises his kids, not JUST out of pocket either. He's a daddy, not a father to his kids.

3. A REAL MAN supports and challenges his woman to develop herself, so she can achieve whatever she wants in life.

4. A REAL MAN, doesn't worry about what others depict as a real man, walk in his shoes first, and then tell him what makes him A REAL MAN.

5. A REAL MAN doesn't kiss and tell or need his ego stroked by bragging.

6. A REAL MAN notices your hair & nails that you've had cut or done recently.

7. A REAL MAN calls you beautiful and gorgeous... not just hot, sexy, fine as fuck or fine as hell. (Fine as fuck, how thoughtful and sweet of guys! LOL!)

8. A REAL MAN calls you back no matter how busy or tired he is because he knows it would mean a lot to you.

9. A REAL MAN looks past what he's heard about you or what his friends think of you. He makes his own decisions in life and especially about people.

10. A REAL MAN wants to spend as much time as he can with you, and won't get sick of you. (Unless of course you're REALLY smothering and annoying! LOL!)

11. A REAL MAN doesn't care if you gave it up (that would be sex) on the first, second, or 100th night.

12. A REAL MAN comes over, just to snuggle and watch a movie.

13. A REAL MAN kisses you on the forehead just because he wants to.

14. A REAL MAN doesn't tell you what he thinks you want to hear, he tells you what's real and what you DON'T want to hear sometimes.

15. A REAL MAN should be treated like one by a woman.

16. A REAL MAN knows how to put your angel ass to sleep. (It's one part massage, one part stroking your hair, and one part snuggling on his chest!)

17. A REAL MAN doesn't ask questions when you say you need something or his help.

18. A REAL MAN lets other women know he's got a wife or girlfriend he's crazy about.

19. A REAL MAN doesn't play head games or with your emotions.

20. A REAL MAN doesn't leave his girl to go hang out with his boys" if he hasn't seen his angel in a week.

21. A REAL MAN doesn't deny you anything, if he can help it. He knows a REAL woman wouldn't deny him anything either.

22. A REAL MAN doesn't just think about sex. (Thinks about it a lot yes, but thinks of many other things too! LOL!)

23. A REAL MAN won't be with another woman, especially one of your friends.

24. A REAL MAN wouldn't use his friendship card to get what he wants and then think it wasn't a big deal to him.

25. A REAL MAN knows the difference between a REAL WOMAN and a random girl or hook up.

26. A REAL MAN won't befriend women that were your friends at one time, just to piss you off or two possibly have sex with them.

27. A REAL MAN will let you know where your relationship is headed or not headed upfront with him.

28. A REAL MAN is not ashamed to admit he cares, loves you, or wants you in his life.

29. A REAL MAN can admit he is wrong and say he is sorry first, and REALLY mean it.

30. A REAL MAN is NOT afraid to show his affectionate toward a woman in public, around his or your friends, or his or your family.

31. A REAL MAN pleases to no end his woman FIRST in the bedroom

32. A REAL MAN opens every car door, building door, or any other door on the planet and gracefully guides you into them like a princess.

33. A REAL MAN even though he doesn't want to, goes to the "chick flick" with you because you really want to go see it.

34. A REAL MAN wants to know everything about the woman in his life, the past, present, and future. (Regardless of how bad or messed up her past was)

35. And lastly a REAL MAN wants nothing more then to have a woman that loves and cares for him. With that he knows he can get through anything that life throws at him.

S/M more then anything is about TRUST, HONESTY, OPENESS, BEING VULNERABLE, OPEN MINDED, GIVING, PATIENT, UNDERSTANDING, LOVING, and most of all COMMUNICATION.

That is why to me S/M in any degree extreme or light is so much better than traditional vanilla relationships or sex. It forces you to trust someone else and communicate your emotions, thoughts, and feelings to them.

What could be better in life to be truly open and honest about who you are with another person?

How can you start this S/M courtship when you don't even take the time to fully read someone's profiles.

Most people on ANY dating site look straight at the pictures and nothing else. Based ONLY on someone's looks they contact that person sadly.

I wanted to give some examples of how it is for women on (especially the few extremely beautiful ones like this women)

I have never talked to her or even exchanged emails with her please note. From reading all her journals and entire profile she strikes me as someone that is very strong minded, intelligent, honest, direct, sexy, refined (she must of read my profile about how I love dangily earrings, her pictures with different earrings are simply amazing and what great style she possesses!) knows what she wants type submissive.

Here is one excerpt from her profile?

Please read the whole profile and journals before you write. So many of your questions are already answered in the profile. It's getting aggravating to have to answer questions that I already addressed , but some of you are just too lazy to read. I don't mean to be disprespectful, but as I said it is getting really aggravating and I am blocking those of you who are not willing to read what is written. I'm looking for someone with intelligence and the ability to read and comprehend.

My God I can't imagine having to insist and demand others to actually take a just few minutes time to read about who I am on my profile and what I'm looking for. That's basic manners 101 people!

A true-minded dominant person (or submissive for that matter) wants to know everything and anything about the one submissive they want to cherish in this life.

Only by knowing the person inside and out, maybe even better then they know themselves can the top truly make a connection of mind, body, and spirit.

Is this not what we all yearn for everyday, true once in a lifetime and to-death-do-us-part type love.

This is a recent journal entry from the same frustrated women below...

Alrighty then! lol I was approached by a "supposedly submissive female" trying to entice me into a possible relationship with her so called dom. Now my profile clearly states that I am looking for a Caucasian male. Not black, not Hispanic, not Native American, not mixed. The pic this person sent me was clearly that of a man that is at least partially black. He had the nappy hair and beard/mustache to prove it, and the darker skin color. She had the audacity to reproach me for turning down her offer and said I had to be foolish because I didn't agree with her tastes.

Now I ask you one and all.... Doesn't a submissive have the same right of choosing who she is attracted to and willing to submit herself to, as a Dom?

Just because she found him attractive, does not mean I am forced to agree. Furthermore, the male is supposed to be 49 and the pic on his profile and that she sent to me was of someone clearly much younger than 49. He looked more like early 20's in the pic. It appeared to be an old Florida license or some work ID of some kind.

Few people in my experience get this about submissives. Just because they say there submissive doesn't mean there going to bow down to every person that they come into connect with online or off.

How beyond ignorant can you get to assume this about a submissive?

Most tops think (most aren't really they just call themselves that!) because someone's submissive means they don't or shouldn't have unique preferences, tastes, opinions, standards, confidence, high self esteem, goals, drive, a strong voice, or cant ever say no to something you say or disagree with you.

These tops feel so insecure, threatened, and scared of women that possess these amazing and so very rare qualities, but are still truly submissive in nature to one person in there life.

To me nothing is sexier, beautiful, and attractive in a woman that has the lethal combination of strength, intelligence, sexuality, and submissive. That's my ultimate kryptonite! LOL!

I wrote this in my first journal, but I think it's appropriate to repeat what my definition is of S/M. I read this somewhere before and I added some things to it to make it my own definition.

MY definition of what S/M is to mean...Someone ACCEPTS the power and someone FREELY GIVES up there power to another by CHOICE, NOT out fear or weakness!

The one that gives up there power has done this out of STRENGTH, SACRIFICE, SUBMISSION, SELFLESSNESS for someone else they totally trust, care for, respect, love, adore, cherish, want, need, lust for, obsessed with, addicted to, and want to make happy...

...The one that ACCEPTS the power has done so out of COMPASSION, HUMBLENESS, DOMINANCE, & SELFLESSNESS for someone else they also totally trust, care for, respect, love, adore, cherish, want, need, lust for, obsessed with, addicted to, and want to make happy.

Have a good night all!

Passionate Ben

Why Do Guys Cheat? (Part 1)
by Passionate Ben

Why do the birds sing?

Why do babies cry?

What do women really want?

And let's not forget the ever so thought provoking question, why do guys cheat?

Writing a short article like this, there is no possible way I could do this subject proper justice. Hell, I could write a whole book probably on this subject alone, and I may just do that someday!

In our ADD-fast food lifestyle we all have now, I'm going to give you the quick cliff notes version of why most guys cheat on women. We'll go through the basic evolution of why guys cheat in five main sections.

Of course they're subsets on the basic five of why guys cheat, in the end though I think there are the five core reasons why guys for centuries have been doing around the world.

I got some spicy analogies, some bitter sweet characteristics, and some true life examples we all see in society today. Last month's column was about what is love, so it's only fitting that I counter balance things out by tackling the other side of the spectrum.

No.1 It's hardwired in guy DNA

Where do we begin?

At the beginning of course?if you're going to talk about why guys cheat, you're going to have to trace it's roots back to the proven scientific reasons and why it's perfectly engrained in the entire male species. Just so happens I have a magic time machine, so climb aboard because were going back to the caveman days.

Ok, it's now 10,000 or 10 million B.C, depending on what school of thought you believe in. There are is no TV, radio, telephones, magazines, newspapers, computers, no porn, no strip clubs, no night clubs, bars, or gyms. No place for a guy to get inundated with sex, other women, influenced by society, or the mass media about women.

Just vegetation, trees, volcanoes, rivers, lakes, oceans, animals, and some giant T-Rex's and Raptors from Jurassic Park trying to make us humans a light Scooby snack on a daily basis.

Instincts and instincts alone, dictated what daily choices prehistoric man chose. It was kill or be killed. It was harsh, bloody, and ever so fleeting. Life expectancy was in the 20's and 30's.

Infancy rates of death were like flipping a coin. The odds of having an offspring that would survive birth were very low. The best chance a caveman had to ensure or at least increase the odds that they would have an offspring to continue his bloodline was mating.

It was primal mating, like modern day monkeys you see at zoo showing off for people. All of a sudden you hear some kids giggling and mothers rush feverishly to cover there kids eyes.

Why? Because Skippy "The Peter North" like chimp is banging Sophia the female monkey, like a jackhammer pounding the pavement on hot summer day.

You killed to eat and cloth yourself and family, you slept, crapped, and tried to mount every woman you ever met. You didn't know why (Caveman were not what you call deep thinkers or metro sexual guys sorry!) it was male instinct commanding males to mount every cavewomen they encountered; this would increase the chance of your bloodline surviving another generation.

Every insect and animal on the planet has this basic of all instincts built into there DNA. This behavior is widely accepted by almost every biologist, sociologist, scientist, and historian in the world.

It's basic male instincts, nowadays it is called cheating, but it wasn't cheating back then. In war time when people kill other people, it's not called murder. Because of the situation and circumstance it's different, but the same action occurs with a different perception.

The more dominant caveman (we call that macho testosterone overload now in guys) would get his pick of the women. Rewarded for his ego and machoism. (It that even a word or did I just that one up?) Sometimes a fight to the death with another caveman arose for absolute dominance.

Present day Cro-magnum man just gets drunk and any guy that looks twice at you they want to fight them so they can prove there manliness to the world.

It's engrained in all males. It's been watered down, dulled down, and majorly screwed up since the caveman days. But the underlying basic human behavior for all males and even females is to procreate.

Read the Bible or read the Koran because multiple wives were as common as Britney Spears almost dropping her baby! King Solomon in the Old Testament supposedly had like 10,000 wives. What a bitch Valentines must have been for that poor guy. LOL!

Osama Bin Laden has like 50 brothers and sisters. His dad was a devout Moslem, so there goes the theory you may have formed about just old time Christians in the bible were humping like horny rabbits on a speed. I can't forget the Mormon boys either; I would be beside myself if I didn't mention another religion that backs up my case.

Take Mr. Joseph Smith, "The Mormon Man Whore" (that's what I call him anyways) who had 33 wives! You can learn more about this unbelievable story by Todd Compton, In Sacred Loneliness: The Plural Wives of Joseph Smith.

I want to describe how it is to be a male, in a way that you've probably never heard of before. I don't care where you live or what century you where from. The best way I can try to explain how it's like every minute of every day for a male, is this.

Think about the one time in your life when you were just sick horny. I mean you were the horniest that you have ever been. Foaming at the mouth horny!

I mean a red skittle would get you turned on and wet or you're looking at every vegetable and kitchen utensil like it's your next date. True blue - holy shit horny.

Then think back when you were so wired, you took some hits of ecstasy, drank a six-pack of Red Bull, or drank 5 cups of Starbucks Triple Espresso coffee. You were tweaking from being so wired.

Now mix that extreme tweakiness and your almost unbearable horniness. That's how the male species feels about when they look at other women and sex, every second of every day until we die! Males today are fighting a loosing battle, because of what has been purposely been engrained in our little heads and DNA since the caveman days.

No 2. Ego?Ego?Ego

I'm going with this one for the first because I was in the checkout line waiting in line. I glanced over and read in the National Enquirer that Dave Navarro had cheated on Carmen Electra. Then I read on another trash magazine one of the the most beautiful woman in my mind to ever walk the planet got cheated on.

Christie "Please marry Passionate Ben" Brinkley. Her jerk off of a husband was caught cheating with a 19 years old teenager. He's 47!

Then I was driving in the car that same week and I heard on the radio Simon Cowell, you know that rude prick from American Idol? He got caught cheating on his model girlfriend, who of course is half his age.

Then there's good ole Jude Law the actor, you guessed it.

He was innocently banging his kid's nanny like it was nothing more then tea and crumpets. How about Hugh Grant who was married to one of the most beautiful women who has ever walked this earth as well in Elizabeth Hurley. (FYI I would give one of my kidneys and both of my toes for just one night with that Goddess) This British pig paid some cheap, ugly, and nasty street hooker to give him a blowjob.

Another way to prove this is how many times have you watched TV and saw on the red carpet of the Academy Awards or Emmys some 40, 50, 60 year old fat, bald, and ugly guy. Low and behold he has Playboy Playmate type women hanging on his arm that's half or a third of his age.

Answer me this question, when was the last time you saw Oprah with a Chippendale on her arm? Sorry ole Stedman is no Chippendale now is he!

When was the last time you saw Martha Stewart or Barbara Walters with an oiled up Muscle and Fitness Magazine cover model?

Let me help you with the answer?NEVER! Yes, they are probably some young guys that are sleeping with nasty looking women for money, that are 2-3 times their age. It's not that there older, hell if I could I would hire a hit man to whack Ashton Kutcher, so I can be with my beloved Demi Moore. Sigh!

Thing is, she's as hot now as any 20 year old bimbo on the planet and that is why Ashton is with her. Not for money, power, or fame, he already has all those things and could have any Playboy chick he wants.

These are not normal examples of guys by any stretch of the imagination. These are all celebrities, who are very rich and famous. There not Joe Plummer or Joe Salesman in the local city you live in.

Guys always claim to the world, how much they love there wife or girlfriend, family, etc. But they still want all these other women too have sex with, and there excuse is I couldn't help it and it meant nothing to me!

Maybe there is some truth to those statements, then again maybe not!

Part 2 continued in next blog...

WHAT LOVE IS TO ME
By Passionate Ben

What is love?

This age-old question has been argued, debated, and philosophized from the very inception of time. I?m sure Adam and Eve were debating this topic with each other back in the Garden of Eden. Or, if you believe in evolution, then some of our hairy little cousins were screaming at each other in monkey gibberish about this very same topic.

Something so simplistic yet a bare ocean full of different possible meanings and explanations. Poems, movies, songs, lyrics, novels, stories, sonnets, statues, paintings, sculptures, buildings, cities, states, countries, and even wars waged.

All in the name of the most powerful four letters ever linked together by mankind. The meaning itself has evolved over the centuries, yet at its core remains true today.

Great poets and writers like my boy Billy S. who grew up in the 1500?s. Sorry, you probably know my Billy Boy by his more famous and formal name, William Shakespeare who has created endless masterpieces of literature all in the name of defining love (such as the snippet below of his genius that he wrote about what is love.)

?Love is a smoke made with the fume of sighs. Being purged, a fire sparkling in lovers' eyes. Being vexed, a sea nourished with lovers' tears. What is it else? A madness most discreet, a choking gall and a preserving sweet.? - William Shakespeare

A madness most discreet. God, I love that line. I would have loved the chance, just one time, to get totally drunk with that man for a night over some good ole Jack Daniels. I won?t try to bore you with my weak attempt to define love in a manner such as William Shakespeare.

How did people define love before Christ?s time? I?m talking 384 B.C folks.

Way back when people actually prayed and worshipped to Zeus, Athena, Aries, Apollo, Aphrodite, and the other Greek gods. Did they think differently about what is love compared to our modern day materialistic society.

Perhaps, but then again, maybe not. One of my favorite all-time philosophers I believe says it amazingly in just ten poetic words he strings together. He needed just ten words to sum up man?s total reason for being on this earth.

?Love is composed of a single soul inhabiting two bodies.? - Aristotle

Take a hard think break and ponder that deeply laced statement for a quick second. A single soul inhabiting two bodies. What beautiful insight and wisdom that even thousands of years later has such a profound effect on yet another generation of people.

I forget; are we the X generation or XYZ now?

We have now got a definition of what is love from a famed 1500?s writer and a B.C (Before Christ) philosopher. I think it would be only fitting to include a quote from a famed writer and director from the ultra modern 20th century, don?t you?

In comparison, you might see a slight difference that the times have had on our perceptions of how we define what is love and how it feels.

I was nauseous and tingly all over. . . . I was either in love or I had smallpox. - Woody Allen

Love him or hate him, Woody Allen - an American original. Love or small pox! I agree with Woody there about the same, really! I haven?t had small pox but I bet it?s not the most pleasant, I imagine. Ok, the whole married-his-adopted-daughter thing was beyond icky and just perverted! But, if he had done that in Kentucky, it would have been no big deal! (Side note: The hate emails that will now be coming to me for that comment from Kentucky residents can be to my attention! LOL!)

Sigh?I?m exhausted now, aren?t you. In that short time we covered the centuries in history and how they each perceived and tried to define what is love.

Quit dodging the question already, Ben, and just tell them what love means to your Texas way of thinking! Keep your pants; on I?m getting there. Patience - it is a bitch of a virtue, what can I say?

Well, let?s start off first with what love is not to me, shall we?

Love is not about the three little words that are strategically placed on millions (maybe billions) of little hallmark cards you buy for $1.99 by mega conglomerate companies or those simple words people throw out like the garbage every week that we have all heard so many times in vain.

It?s not about buying someone flowers, candy, jewelry, cute stuffed animals, balloons, dinner and a movie, or any other gift that can be purchased with a cheap swipe of a credit card or quick pen swoop in an almost broke checkbook at your local strip mall.

The most powerful words that the world has ever known get violently vomited out, sadly, by people today so much now you would think it was a famous scene from the movie, Stand By Me with Lard Ass. (Note: If you don?t know what I mean, go rent the movie; you will laugh your ass off and get what I mean!)

In this ADD, fast food, I want-it-now daddy, ego-centric, selfish, shallow, materialistic, screw your bosses and neighbor?s wife, dishonest, disloyal, hypocritical, close-minded, co-dependent, and instant gratification society we are now forced to live in, what most people think is love is so far from it, in reality it?s most always?

Co-dependency
Lust
Ego
Guilt
Shame
Neediness
Desperation
Loneliness
Circumstances (Have a kid together accidentally)
Infatuation
Or financial security or stability

Love is to me many enduring, compassionate and selfless actions repeated over a long period of time - not hollow words spoken or written on some painted tree bark that you put a stamp on and mail out conveniently.

That is what love is at its purest core.

This is what love means to me?

It's about tolerance, patience, understanding, compassion, giving, being selfless, sacrifice, compromise, being supportive, open minded, thoughtful, forgiving, loyal, not possessive, jealous, or controlling of the other person, nurturing, honest, dependable, you want a person you love to be happy always above all else, challenging them to their core even when they are uncomfortable with it at the time, because you know it will help them grow as a person, and above all else, you would rather die than hurt the other person you love so much in any way, shape or form.

They hurt?you hurt.

They?re in pain?you?re in pain.

A quick glimpse of they?re angelic smile or sound of they?re contagious giggle makes your heart glow red like the burning sun on a hot summer day.

Love is sitting up all night with your love at the hospital because they?re dying from cancer, holding their hair out of their face while they puke painfully from hellish months of chemotherapy and radiation.

Love is accepting every fault, issue or weakness the other person has, because you know they accept all of yours without question.

Love is getting up in the middle of the night when you?re at your wit?s end and utterly exhausted to comfort your screaming newborn baby. Because you know your love needs a night off even more than you do.

It?s not pretty, cute, romantic, or TV-movie-of-the-week crap.

It?s simply real and breathtakingly ugly at times.

That's what the essence of LOVE truly is!

A word of caution when you?re thinking about saying those three little words or when someone says them to you, think about what love really is. Be somberly honest with yourself and figure out if that is how you really feel about that person; and do the actions of that person telling you those three words say love, or are they just words to you?

One of my favorite quotes I have memorized is perfect for this subject, I think. I hope all that read this will take it to heart and burn it into your mind and heart forever.

?The Greatest Danger For Most Of Us Is Not That Our Aim In Life Is Too High And We Miss It; It?s That Our Aim Is Too Low And We Hit It.? - Michelangelo

True unyielding love is once in a lifetime, and that?s if the love gods bless you more than any one person ever really deserves. You won?t see it, smell it, taste it, or hear it, mind you. And if you don?t pay attention, you won?t even be ready to feel it hit you like an out-of-control freight train, poised to level your whole existence under the cover of the cool night?s calmness.

Passionate Ben
Online Dating, Romance, and Dating Expert. Not to mention lover and avid S/M top! : D

A poem or checklist or whatever you want to call it that I wrote. This was published online on dozens of various websites last year.

22 Ways to Make a Woman Smile

It really doesn't take that much effort. All women in S/M or not want is to feel like they are REALLY wanted...

1. Tell her she is beautiful or gorgeous (not just fine, hot, or sexy).
2. Hold her hand at any moment...even if it?s just for a second.
3. Kiss her on the foreheada and neck.
4. Leave her voice messages to wake up to. (It will make her day start off right, and she will love you for it.)
5. When she is upset, hold her tight and tell her how much she means to you. (Don't try to solver her problems! It's our man DNA sorry ladies!)
6. Recognize the small things...they usually mean the most to her.
7. Pick her over all the other girls you hang out with.
8. Write her cute little notes. (She loves them more than diamonds.)
9. Introduce her to family and friends...as your girlfriend. (Not ummm?my friend.)
10. Play with her hair. (Especially run your hands thru it. God I could do that 24/7 with the right women's hair)
11. Pick her up, tickle her, and play-wrestle with her.
12. Sit in the park and just talk to her. (Hell, just talk ANYWHERE with her about anything.)
13. Tell her funny jokes; tell her stupid jokes; or just tell her jokes. Anything to see that amazing soul lifting smile come out.
14. Let her fall asleep in your arms. (Nothing better in the world, watching angels sleep!)
15. If she's mad at you, kiss her. (Or at least try! LOL!)
16. Give her piggyback rides in public.
17. Bring her flowers. (Make sure they?re her favorite flower. So, make sure you know what they are! Roses are so blah and unoriginal!)
18. Treat her the same around your friends as you do when you?re alone with her.
19. Look her in the eyes, and smile for no reason.
20. Let her take as many pictures of you as she wants. (I REALLY hate pictures too but get over it guys!)
21. Kiss her in the rain. (Nothing better than rainy kisses. Except maybe naked rainy sex! LOL!)
22. If you?re in love with her, tell her.

Tomorrow never comes, and life is way too short not to show the woman you care about and love what she means to you.

- Passionate Ben

They say, "Beauty is in the eye of the beholder" as the saying goes.

But to me this is a truly flawed statement, "True beauty can only be seen deep in someone's soul, when you look past everything your eyes deceive you with."

- Passionate Ben

Passion

Passion is a feeling
It's not a word for sex?
It?s the anticipation
Of what will happen next?
It's looking deep inside
The eyes of my beholder?
It's your gentle touch
Placed upon my shoulder
It's the subtle kiss?
As I'm wrapped inside your arms?
It's the confidence
That you'll bring me no harm?
It's the laughter that we share
With the funny things you do?
Never feeling lonely
As long as I'm with you?
It's the moonlit stroll
barefoot in the sand?
It's the jealous look of others
As we're walking hand in hand?
It's the comfort of a snuggle
Near a blazing fireplace?
It's the happiness I see
With a smile upon your face?
It's the Goosebumps on my body
When you whisper in my ear?
It's the beating of my heart
Whenever you are near?
Passion is a mood
A feeling so complex?
It sets the perfect ambiance
For a night of wild sex!

Tell me: I forget.
Show me; I remember.
Involve me; I understand.
- Japanese prove

One of my all time favorite poems about women and what they should mean to a man. - Passionate Ben

Without the Immortal Love of a Woman...

Every man?s eye is devastatingly empty; unbearably rotting towards the dungeons of diabolical hell; without the celestially commiserating reflections of a bountiful woman,

Every man?s palm is sinfully empty; barbarously rotting towards the coffins of penalizing hell; without the compassionately befriending grip of an honest woman,

Every man?s vein is dreadfully empty; devilishly rotting towards the vacuum of torturous hell; without the invincibly righteous rudiments of a sacrosanct woman,

Every man?s brain is deliriously empty; sadistically rotting towards the thorns of cold-blooded hell; without the unsurpassably ebullient fantasies of an eclectic woman,

Every man?s lip is ghastily empty; tawdrily rotting towards the mortuaries of parasitic hell; without the wondrously igniting kisses of an ardent woman,

Every man?s shadow is venomously empty; carnivorously rotting towards the skeletons of hideous hell; without the mellifluously symbiotic sweetness of a benign woman,

Every man?s signature is disastrously empty; egregiously rotting towards the nothingness of hedonistic hell; without the astoundingly ameliorating reflection of a caring woman,

Every man?s mission is treacherously empty; horrendously rotting towards the dirt of excoriating hell; without the pricelessly unconquerable encouragement of a blessed woman,

Every man?s lung is cripplingly empty; nonsensically rotting towards the meaninglessness of asphyxiating hell; without the unassailably reinvigorating breath of a timeless woman,

Every man?s cheek is lecherously empty; salaciously rotting towards the perversions of crucifying hell; without the mischievously spell binding peck of an untamed woman,

Every man?s chest is drearily empty; ignominiously rotting towards the blackness of massacring hell; without the magically reincarnating caress of a sensuous woman,

Every man?s spine is lividly empty; preposterously rotting towards the holocaust of morbid hell; without the insurmountably majestic virility of an enigmatic woman,

Every man?s adventure is hopelessly empty; sacrilegiously rotting towards the ghost of tormenting hell; without the inscrutably tantalizing echo of a mesmerizing woman,

Every man?s skin is frigidly empty; inconsolably rotting towards the whiplash of strangulating hell; without the fathomlessly unabashed exhilaration of an intrepid woman,

Every man?s soul is cursedly empty; inexplicably rotting towards the gallows of murderous hell; without the infallibly consecrating sensitivity of a vivacious woman,

Every man?s shoulder is dolorously empty; blasphemously rotting towards the shards of deteriorating hell; without the amazingly unflinching unity of a blissful woman,

Every man?s ear is abjectly empty; viciously rotting towards the gutters of malevolent hell; without the enchantingly unfettered voice of a mystical woman,

Every man?s nostril is despondently empty; perilously rotting towards the wickedness of baseless hell; without the perennially life-yielding fragrance of an intricate woman,

And every man?s heart is haplessly empty; unsparingly rotting towards the evil jinx of cannibalistic hell; without the immortally embracing love of a faithful woman?.

By Nikhil Parekh

One of my favorite poems from a woman describing being a submissive women. If you change a few words I think this is a beautiful way to describe any type of mutualy loving relationship, S/M or vanilla.

I am a submissive woman
~Author Unknown

I find pleasure, joy, and fulfillment from being submissive to my Master in a loving relationship.
i am not weak or stupid. i am a strong woman, with firm views and a clear concept of what i want out of my life.

I do not serve out of shame or weakness, but out of pride and strength. I will look to my loving Master for guidance and protection, for never will i be more complete than when He is with me.i know that He will protect my body, my mind, and my soul
with His strength and wisdom.

He is everything to me, as i am everything to Him. His touch awakens me and His thoughts free me. Only in serving Him do i find complete freedom and joy...
His punishments may be harsh, but i accept them thankfully, knowing that He has my best interests always foremost in His mind.

If He desires my body for pleasure, i shall joyfully give it to Him and take pleasure myself from knowing that i have brought Him happiness. However, the pleasure of the flesh is but one facet of O/our relationship.
The love, the trust and sharing, the words spoken and felt, those are all parts of this relationship.

My body is His, and if He says i am beautiful, then i am. No matter what i look like to others, i am beautiful in His eyes, and because of that i hold my head high. If He says i am His precious jewel, then i am that...a beautiful, sparkling gem. If He says that i am His pet, His slut, His whore, then i am that..
as wanton and dirty as He wants me to be.

My mind is His, to expand, to explore, to know only as He can. i have no secrets from Him... for secrets are a thing that would keep me from being more perfectly His. Secrets would put a wall up between my Master and myself...and i do not want walls.

His lessons are not always ones i would seek on my own, but they are lessons He has decided that i need, and so i learn from Him.My soul is His, as bare to His touch as ever my skin could be when i kneel naked at His feet.

Never a moment goes by when i do not feel His presence, be He miles away or standing over me. If i were to ever displease Him, His displeasure would be a blow to my soul, worse punishment than any lashes could be. The anguish of my soul that i feel when i disappoint Him is harder to bear than any physical anguish i feel.

i am grateful that he cares enough about me to spend
His time and energy so freely on me.i have the easier job, to feel, to experience, to let myself go and abandon everything to Him. i am His pleasure and His responsibility, and He takes both seriously .

i am a submissive woman. i am proud to call myself that, my submission is a gift that i do not give lightly,
and can only be given to the One who can appreciate that gift and return it tenfold. Only to my Master who has that strength, will i give myself fully,
because i am strong and proud. i am a submissive woman.

One Flaw In Women

Women have strengths that amaze men. They bear hardships and they carry burdens, but they hold happiness, love and joy. They smile when they want to scream. They sing when they want to cry. They cry when they are happy and laugh when they are nervous.

They fight for what they believe in. They stand up to injustice. They don't take "no" for an answer when they believe there is a better solution. They go without so their family can have. They go to the doctor with a frightened friend. They love unconditionally.

They cry when their children excel and cheer when their friends get awards. They are happy when they hear about a birth or a wedding. Their hearts break when a friend dies. They grieve at the loss of a family member, yet they are strong when they think there is no strength left.

They know that a hug and a kiss can heal a broken heart. Women come in all shapes, sizes and colors. They'll drive, fly, walk, run, phone or e-mail you to show how much they care about you. The heart of a woman is what makes the world keep turning. They bring joy, hope and love.

They have compassion and ideas. They give moral supprt to their family and friends. Women have vital things to say and everything to give.

HOWEVER, IF THERE IS ONE FLAW IN WOMEN I SEE IT IS THEY THEY FORGET THEIR WORTH!

Regardless if you're a submissive, slave, dominant, top women or not into S/M at all, don't ever let any person or society rob of your amazing worth as a women.

Passionate Ben

pecansilk Female Submissive, 45, Bucyrus Area, Ohio	Pecksbadboy Male Dominant, 65, Dover Plains, New York	Peccable4u Male Submissive, 23, Poconos, Pennsylvania	pecan373 Male Switch, 34, cookeville, Tennessee
Peckerwood Male Dominant, 54, Santa Clara, California	pecanpits Male Dominant, 42	pechmerle Male Dominant, 40	pecantan Female Dominant, 34, Miami, Florida
peckersuker Male Submissive, 44, Englewood, Colorado	pececito Male Submissive, 21, mallorca	Peck Male Dominant, 19, N/A	peciousboy Male Dominant, 29, Yaounde

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