I'm a married professional man with five years serious experience in S&M in a pretty much 24/7 arrangement, 98% as a slave/sub/bottom, but I can also switch. I'm extremely open-minded, inventive and imaginative, and always happy to learn new things. At this point I'm mainly seeking a social connection to the Chicagoland kink community.

Ultimately I'd like to find a long term D/s relationship of some sort with an intelligent Domme or Domme-oriented switch. I see no need to dive in head first. Best to start low-key and easy, then see where it goes. Friendship, mutual respect and chemistry are fundamental, and those things have to develop over time. I'm not looking for someone, anyone, at all, to whom I can submit, but for a friend I can trust and with whom I can talk. Then I can be as submissive as you please.

I'd share some fantasies, though I'm a bit shy about putting them here for all the world to read. I'll see if I can work up the nerve and also give you one that doesn't read like I just clipped it from Story of O. I'd be O in the fantasy. That might give an indication of my bent, anyway. Although I'm not in the least effeminate, lots of my fantasies have me as a girl. I read Story of O as a teenager and it was one of the two biggest fantasy turnons of my adolescence. I do of course know that it is just a fantasy. The other big turnon was Bettie Page. I'm still an utter Bettie Page fan. That doesn't mean I have any preconceptions about how a partner should look.

I enjoy making my Domme's life better and not just in the dungeon or in bed, though there too. Service is basic to my desires. Shopping for her, for example, is a turn on. I'm not a "bad boy, please punish me" sub. I like pain (a lot) and restraint (also) but don't view those as punishment. I'm just someone who is happiest surrendering control in a context of trust and mutual respect. I'd rather be obedient than tamed.

I am allegedly fairly intelligent, or at least highly credentialed. There is a lot of expensive wallpaper on my wall. I have the cultural baggage of a very good liberal arts education, but I'm not snobbish. I am somewhat introverted and do small intimate gatherings better than loud parties. I'm a really good cook. I will eat practically any kind of food -- and, scat aside -- just about anything else. My sense of of humor is dry, deadpan, and a bit astringent. I have lots of strong very liberal or left wing opinions, weakly held. I am less politically active than I'd like to be or once was.

I love music --jazz , as jazz fans will tell from my handle, shows, opera, rock, anything good; reading literature, history, philosophy, law, politics, writing the same. My work takes a lot of my time; it's not a 9-to-5 job; I like it a lot, but it is very demanding. I enjoy theater, movies, travel, civilized conversation. I will go to New York just to see a Sondheim show even if I know it isn't going to be very good. The last movie I saw in a theater was the new James Bond; I thought they'd taken out the class and suavity that makes Bond fun. The last good movie I saw was Bringing Up Baby with Cary Grant and Katherine Hepburn. It's actually a D/s film if you think about it.

I am married 30+ years. My spouse is very vanilla. With respect to my activities we seem to operate on a don't-ask-don't-tell basis. I didn't discover I was kinky until about 20 years later, after the kids came. My kinky sister and brother in law say I have a sort of tacit open or polyamorous marriage -- things are fine as long as my wife isn't directly confronted with things she doesn't want to know. Within those limits I'm very honest -- after all, I'm telling you this. My family is highly important to me. My former Domme and I parted ways when she had to leave town and move halfway across the country because of health. We are on cordial terms.

I dress too well for my job and income and am meticulous about my person. I've been told I have style in an "old-fashioned new-fangled way," whatever that means. Physically I'm about 5'10, 170 lbs, around 50 years old, Caucasian. I am in really excellent shape, very strong and fit. I like to lifty heavy objects and am bored by aerobics. I am completely drug and disease free, expect the same in a partner; I don't smoke and barely drink, if at all. I'm reasonably attractive, although I'm not under any delusion that I'm Paul Newman or Brad Pitt.