You are unblocked.

Now I want you to think carefully why you cannot obey what I ask you to do.  Are you afraid of the relationship actually happening?  Are you repeating an event from the past where someone rejected you? Do you need to be beaten into submission so that you can feel morally superior? Has someone beaten you when you were little, that you loved? 

You will never have problems as a slave if you do exactly as you are asked.  You will always have troubles if you don`t.  It is very simple.  I can always tell if you want to obey or if you are playing games.

Until you resolve these issues, you will never find a master, in my opinion.  No master will put up bad behavior for very long.