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Sakura

onlineheartbeats

Female Submissive, 36, South Eastern, Washington
Male Submissive, 38, Manitoba
Male Dominant, 56, Melbourne, Florida
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About onlineheartbeats


Just here for friends:-)

2.5 this week.  I know this sounds more like a weight loss journal than it does a submissive one. However, it was for sure masochistic to get myself so overweight--LMAO!

This has been a long week, lots of life lessons. I used to think the painful lessons were bad, but as I get older---they're painful but not necessarily bad and there is always something to learn.? I'm down 3 more this week..better than the 1 last week:-)? Seems the weight went on much easier than it is coming off, lol.

Lost 1.5 pounds. Something I am learning--Without communication skills all the sparks in the the world aren't going to keep the fire burning. Something else too--pain can be good on so many levels for me.
Had a MUCH beter week with my weight struggle, it's more like an obsession than struggle,lol.? I'm down 6 more:-) Also had a week filled with intermitent pain...self inflicted...still it does help I suppose.
Just a pound this week:-(? I really didn't put any effort into keeping up with my pilates and walking. I'm happy to have dropped a pound. Next week MORE EFFORT, no matter how many hours I have to work.
I'm not looking for a dominant any longer.

much better day today:-) Spoke to a few people today. I really would love to have just ONE conversation where the words pussy, anal, and mouth aren't THE conversation.
I LOVE sex in all it's pleasurable forms, but it's not the only thing I am seeking.

It was HOT here today. I didn't stay on track at all today ..not at work, not home, not even my exercises- I'll catch up tomorrow hopefully.
I read so many profiles on here, most of them, people know exactly what they want---so there is hope for me yet, rotfl. What's not funny is I am getting better at declaring what I don't want--then what I DO want--completely the opposite for me.

I was reading on the message boards about punching a sub/slave. I know everyone has different turn ons, but wow--I think being punched would really be over the edge for me.
I never even considered being punched as part of a session. 

Lost 2 pounds--yeah. Two less pounds to shed:-) So I told someone if I lost at least 2 pounds I would put up a but shot. I'm getting to it,patience.

I'm starting this because hopefully someday when I look back and read these entries I will have grown in learning D/s , my place in it & also to hopefully look back and see how much weight I've lost.
When I first joined CM, I had checked online romance as a choice of what I was seeking, I would rather there have been a category or two that gave the choice of online domination, or online submission-just a suggestion CM:-)
After a few emails I realized I needed to work on my body before being able to seek/or give anything other than friendship at the present time. I just wanted to put my 2 cents in about the lack of a better choice in the event anyone from CM admin read these.

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