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BoyToyb4u
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Yes i have pictures of myself, should be showing up any time but CM is slow, so if Y/you msg me & we click i'll send a few ....
I think I should provide a little information about myself, for *some* have already drawn the wrong conclusion or just plain simply cannot read. I didn't start out with the intention of being blunt or to put it mildly, rude. I respect all others and would ask that I be treated in the same manner.
I also do not judge others or the way they choose to persue their version of happiness. I simply stated on my profile , that I would like to make friends, be they Dom/me or subs or even slaves. Do not be disappointed if Y/you solicit me for a relationship of any kind other than what I have said I'm willing to offer; and I do not comply or turn Y/you down.
Please do not be hateful or rude or condesending. I cannot stand the fact that some take lables or titles to a sterotypic level and expect me to be a compliant doormat and ignorant , without my own thoughts, views and opinions, or the ability to express them. E/everyone has their own definition of submission and what that entails.
If Y/you would like to make friends with a intelligent, respectful person, share insights and ideas or just talk, I'd be delighted to get to know Y/you.
It's disappointing to see the majority of people that respond to a pretty face are only looking at the surface and not what is underneath. They immediately look to objectify you, make superfluous contact to engage in internet cyber-sex , with a bow down to me attitude.
I have absolutely no respect for that and I cannot see any intelligent female with value and self respect for herself submitting to be a common toilet receptical. /flush
In my opinion a relationship of worth starts with respect and builds up to trust and a emotional bond that leads to total submission because the partner already has the innate desire to submit.
It's not something Y/you pass around like a party favor to every tom dick and harry. If that's the way you choose to be treated , I may not like it, but i respect the choice.
I just do not think that everyone should be approached and treated with that same attitude.
I have one last thing to say, when Y/you meet a person, what things do Y/you strive to learn, to know? The surface? Or something beyond the flesh to the core of a person?
The Invitation.. By Oriah Dreamer.. read on and ponder these things the next time you seek to know someone on a intimate level...
It doesn't interest Me what you do for a living. I want to know what you ache for, and if you dare to dream of meeting your heart's longing.
It doesn't interest Me how old you are. I want to know if you will risk looking like a fool for love, for your dreams, for the adventure of being alive.
It doesn't interest Me what planets are squaring your moon. I want to know if you have touched the center of your own sorrow, if you have been opened by life's betrayals or have become shriveled and closed from fear of futher pain!
I want to know if you can sit with pain, Mine or your own, without moving to hide it or fade it or fix it.
I want to know if you can be with joy, Mine or your own, if you can dance with wildness and let the ecstacy fill you to the tips of your fingers & toes without cautioning us to be careful, be realistic, or to remember the limitations of being human.
It doesn't interest Me if the story you're telling Me is true.
I want to know if you can disappoint another to be true to yourself; if you can bear the accusation of betrayal and not betray your own soul. I want to know if you can be faithful and therefore be trustworthy.
I want to know if you can see beauty even when it is not pretty every day, and if you can source your life from God's presence. I want to know if you can live with failure, yours or Mine, and still stand on the edge of a lake and shout to the silver of the full moon, "Yes"!
It doesn't interest Me to know where you live or how much money you have. I want to know if you can get up after a night of grief & dispair, weary & bruised to the bone, and do what needs to be done.
It doesn't interest Me who you are, how you came to be here.
I want to know if you will stand in the center of the fire with Me/us and not shrink back. It doesn't interest Me where or what or with whom you have studied. I want to know what sustains you from the inside when all else falls away.
I want to know if you can be alone with yourself, and if you truly like the company you keep in the empty moments. I want to know, Can you risk your heart to dance in the fire of love? To be washed by the tears? To share our life?
Something to think about :P
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" I know at times.... you're tormented by the questions in your mind... you're a complicated Lady that's for sure... with a need for some one unafraid to make you feel secure..even though you test My soul.. make yourself so hard to hold... you wanna know if I'm strong enough to be your man.... Yes I am... Yes I am." ~lyrics from a Travis Tritt song that i love...
i've been called distant and cold hearted. I would say i'm a bit of both but mostly ...I'm guarded. |
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I haven't been online in a while due to some changes going on in my life, such as moving to a new home, getting everything set up, some sporadic doctor visists and recently my brother was in a serious car accident :( ..
I do so like these new features though!! audio and video! I'm going to have to play with those :P To all the friends i have made here ... and would love to catch up. I have missed our conversations ! Especially Mr. HnR :)
~nix
<3 BainzDom Xoxo |
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I was turned onto a new Fetish a week ago by a awesome Dominant named HardnRuff ( yes ladies He is a member of CM! ) I might get a verbal spankin for Listing Him in my journal but it's worth it /wink
Anyway, this 'new' interest of mine is called Shabiri (sp?)- japanese rope tying/knotting. He showed me this link to Twistedmonk.com. If Y/you get curious and go there check out His blog and watch the Who's Your Mummy Pt1 & 2 , it is ... definately hot. Makes a girl wanna go out and get tied up 24/7 lol.
HR ~ mwah! |
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I was asked tonight what experience I have. I'm a private sort of person, but i don't mind sharing with those who take a genuine interest in me. I have my own.. moral?.. code. I think is the best way to describe it. I will not name people with whom i've shared a relationship with, wether it was physcial, or mental. Emotion is the glue that (for me) binds those two together. I love, crave , need - the mental aspect of a D/s relationship. I've said it many times, get inside my head, know me; that is the quickest, most surest way (if we suit) to dominate me. Once my mind is deeply involved the rest of me falls right in line in short order:D I tend to like gentlemen older than me, but really it just depends on the maturity of the person and their experience. I like seasoned Gents:P I love some aspects of the gorean life, but not all. The first gentleman I knew, was once a part of that life style and though He had left it, He incorporated bits and pieces of it into His own version of play. I greatly enjoyed it. I have a sharp mind, and a vivid imagination, I loved to be talked to, a very verbal Dom would be great, but I also like the quiet ones, that keep their thoughts hidden behind shuttered eyes and show what they want with action. I learn quickly:) I love to write, and observe, and I believe this is partly what makes me so.. finely tuned to details and the little things that most would over look or miss. It also plays a part in my joy of descriptive scenes and mental bondage.
/sigh
when i read something a creative man has written, wether to me, for me, or intended for the masses; It is me, my body, that i feel His breath on, the touch of His hands, strong with intent, the glow in His eyes or the lack thereof. For me it is as .. intense as if i were there in the flesh, directly in front of, behind, or beneath Him.
I love symbolism and the act of prepairing oneself for Him. Knowing that each item adorned brings me closer, little unseen ties that bind and remind, constantly, of His presence, and His ownership of my person. The whisper of clothing against my skin, the He , Himself, has chosen or the lack of them because He enjoys seeing me in naught but blushes and my own skin, exposed and vulnerable. It's the thoughts and motives behind these actions that... enslave me. Bind me, tie me, ever closer to Him.. and the need to please Him, and in doing so pleasing myself. I love to teter on the edge, to have those boundaries pushed, ever so softly, with a subtle hand... kept off balanced or fully knowing, both excited me ... i like doing things that are.. uncomfortable to me..not in extreme ways, or drastic ways.. but in the tiny ways.. by slow increments...not because i am a empty husk, and need to be filled.. but more because i am overflowing and need to ease that eternal need inside of me...because i am strong and i am willing to..endure for Him, it is a gift.. and both are aware of the symbiotic exchange.
get used to long posts:) i like to write what i am feeling and thinking , so there is a very high possibilty that my journal will always have new things to read :P |
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Hrm. It seems some of Y/you enjoy my little wicked sense of humor :) I'm glad. It occured to me that I let some of the everyday users on this site upset and offend me and in my burst of temper , ended coming off with a very Dominant attitude.
I'm not, though. There are circumstances and situations where I am obligated to assume that role, but underneath this tough exterior is a truly submissive person. I do not believe that the fact that i can control my life outside of the bedroom makes me less submissive.
While I am on this site for friends; I am also subtle in my search for more. Not in a decietful manner. I'm a very honest person, but I don't shout private or personal information.
I am not looking for a live in long term relationship, or a husband, or a boy friend. But there is a aspect of my life that feels... incomplete and while I don't want the above mentioned relationships, I would like friendships, of all sorts, and also a D/s relationship under the right circumstances.
I like to meet people who look beyond the surface of a pretty face, because I am more than the sum of my parts. The most important part of me is inside and that is what i have to give.
Me.
More than my body, part of my heart, all of my soul. With the right person I'd like to share these things. I'm complex, and complicated. In no way am I easy to learn or love or fuck. For most i pose to much of an effort, require too much ..thought or time. I like to think of myself as a challenge. Any relationship worth having is earned through hard work and dedication. Trust me, i'm worth it.
For the right Man , in a D/s relationship, there isn't much i wouldnt consider, wouldnt give. I am a intense intellectual and emotional person, and then physical. Desire isn't the way to approach me, while it is a factor, it is not the core of me. Enthrall my mind, learn me, understand me, be smarter than me, always one step ahead of me, have a wicked sense of humor , patience, tolerence, strength.
If i can out wit you, talk circles around you, flip the tables on you, make you stumble or falter, question yourself , doubt yourself. You are probably not for me. I need a match in all areas, or even more than i can handle!
I will test, i will push, i cannot help it. I don't see it as being bratty, that isnt what im after, i wont try to make you jealous or pull your strings. I will test You by pushing myself, mentally and emotionally, even physically. I think i do this to reassure myself that You are my equal or greater but mostly it is just my personality;)
I want someone who wants a submissive, but that *is* the relationship, with the ability to feel some kind of love or caring; tenderness. Much like a mistress back in the day. I don't want to be a wife or a girlfriend, but the one You share those desires with if you -can't- with Your significant other. |
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What point is there in beating around the bush and saying things that allude to truth. I say, be careful of who you let close to you, I say know your Dominant well before you meet in person, and then do so for a extended period of time in a largely public place until you are satisfied that this person will not abuse or use you in a way you do not wish to be used. Even Ted Bundy passed for normal. Think twice about a person who demands your absolute and immediate obediance upon the first written word between you, and when he demands you leave every single aspect of your life behind, that you have *no one* ask yourself...
where does he bury the bodies??? |
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| Age: 26 |
| Baltimore,
Maryland |
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