8/24/2008 9:28:57 AM    
   

"My Dream Dom"


I always enjoy well written blogs. The form is just as important as the substance and some carry very powerful messages. Recently, I read a blog entry written by a submissive woman on CollarMe and I feel compelled to reproduce it here, with the author's express permission. It is, in my opinion, the most accurate description of the ideal dominant. Doms, Dommes, and subs there is a lot for all of us to learn in this message as the author really understands it all:

(jillibk on CollarMe. Blog entry dated 2/29/2008 - Reproduced verbatim and in extenso.)

Open Quote:

A Dream Dom is so named because of the qualities he possesses and the service he provides (yep, I said it!) So, what are these qualities? What is my Dream Dom?

A Dream Dom wants to be the center of my universe. He wants to be able to provide for me, every need and care. But more than that he wants to be able to shape and mold me to the image he thinks I should become. He sees in me someone who can achieve a much higher, much greater status. He believes more in me than I believe in myself. What he wants in return is to be able to bask in his image of me, the image he has created. To achieve these goals he relies on a combination of love, respect, and discipline. He is a mind-reader and a mood-sensor.

He also has the ability to make me feel like a little girl, however, a very cherished and sometimes needy girl. It is a feeling that I revel in, it is the safest place I have ever been, and it allows me the freedom to be all that I am without fear of reprisals. It is a feeling, an environment that W/we both have created.

In my relationship my Dom is not my father, he is nothing like my father, and I have no need for him to replace my father. He is, however, my Daddy. We do not engage in age play (real or pretend) and our relationship is not based on any need to have sex with children.

I am always all woman, and always a very, successful, independent woman. He fuels that success and independence, with the blanket of security that he provides.
 

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His love for his girl goes without saying. He loves her as much for who she is as for who she will become with his guidance. She is his prized possession. His eyes light up when she walks into the room and he takes great pride in her successes. After all, he helped to create her. She holds the most tender part of his heart and has the greatest power to hurt him. Their mutual need for each other is everything.

This love would not be possible without respect. A Daddy Dream Dom needs to feel pride in his girl. He needs to know she can hold her own in the outside world and still submit to him, making that submission all the more valuable. It is extremely important to him to know she can be with any man and she chooses to be with him.

From time to time, Daddy shows her his respect, by using her thoroughly, to the point of tears and exhaustion. The both need the outlet, and the comfort that follows.

He knows that this makes discipline a priority in their lives, more important than in some other D/s relationships. In order for the girl to really trust, she must know he means what he says. If his girl is going to be the best she can possibly be, he must stand firm. He uses his experience in life and his knowledge of her to provide proper direction and punishment when the (rare) need arises.

 

If he does not enforce discipline, this respect becomes a tenuous thing. If his submissive finds that she can manipulate him out of punishing her, she begins to lose respect and the ability to empower becomes impeded. He understands that it becomes increasingly difficult to be possessed by someone you do not respect.

This does not mean, however, that he assumes that he is always right. Respect, inherently, requires an open mind and willingness to listen. He can and does learn from her often.

This balance takes great strength on his part. It takes strength to control her, and to shape her to his needs and desires. It takes strength to be her confidant, her shoulder, her anchor. It takes strength to let her out into the world when all he wants to do is hold her safe in his arms. And it takes strength to do what is necessary when she needs to be disciplined.

A Dream Dom provides something else that is very important to his submissive...acceptance. She is safe in his arms because he knows her, everything about her, and he still loves her. When she goes to him she knows that this man knows all of her dirty little secrets and it doesn't matter. To him she is beautiful.

The more he gets to know her, the more beautiful she becomes.

A relationship with a Daddy Dream Dom and physical (kinky) activity are by no means mutually exclusive. To Daddy and his girl, the physical interactions are a manifestion of their bond... her trust and surrender... his control. Often a Dream Dom strives to de-virginate his girl, not in the sense that she is necessarily inexperienced, but she thrives on the newness of each encounter with him... the education... the learning... the raw joy of being unafraid to feel it all. They explore together, with him clearing the path for her journey. This balance is necessary to his girl because it allows all parts of her to be nourished, leading to an incredibly fulfilling relationship.

I think most Dominants have a bit of the Daddy in them, taking on the role of male authority figure in the submissive's life and using their power to enrich that life. Daddy/girl verbalizes that feeling, and adds a dimension of warmth, caring, and ritual that it's participants crave.

There is something infinitely magical about a Dream Dom. Perhaps it is something only a girl can understand.

End Quote.

There you have it. What else is there to say? Not much it seems as she has said it all...