newsubseeking61

...now known as HisSongstress

I am focusing my energies on one individual and reveling in the development of that relationship and in its pace.

I am enjoying the process of learning to be......
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I have recently discovered my interest in the D/s lifestyle. I am a big girl (5'11" and zaftig but with a shape), but very feminine. I am told that I have a pretty face and am very erotic and sensual.

I am seeking a selective sophisticated psychological relationship with an extremely confident, well-educated man, between 32-52, who is at least 6' 1”, and is comfortable with managing--and eventually dominating--a intelligent, assertive, thinking woman. (A paradox, huh? Imagine being me! Is this going to be a challenge or what?)

Please do not confuse me with a Domme….I am not.

I do not play. I do not participate in cyber, cam, or phone sex. I do not date submissives or switches. I want the real deal with my Dominant.

In the long run, I am looking to find the last partner of my life. I am interested in a real time relationship. I believe the internet is simply a tool people use to connect to others; not an end unto itself.

That was the short version. If you are still reading, the long version explains how I got to the short version.

I am updating this profile today (10/23/06) to reflect the things that I have learned in the last couple of weeks. Most of this is simply random thoughts about what I think I seek…..today. These things are not pieced together very well as they come from a variety of conversations with others and myself. I will organize it more…as it becomes more organized in my head.

I am seeking a sophisticated psychological relationship. I am rather intelligent and strong willed and seek a man that revels in that and can guide, protect, and treasure me.

About the lifestyle: I appreciate the structure, the clarity of expectations, the civility. The mental discipline allows me to focus my thoughts and gives me clarity of thought...so that I can better see my purpose and what things I must do to fulfill that purpose. When I do not have to protect myself and can freely express my feelings, wants, fears, etc. without worrying that I appear weak...or that the information will be later used to beat me up or hurt me in some way...then I can simply be. Then I can be useful, obedient, etc. and experience great joy in pleasing another.

As for the sexual aspects, I am as kinky as the next...but I really only seek that interaction within a safe, relatively committed relationship. Therefore, I am not seeking play partners. I have done that on an amateur basis throughout my life with varying degrees of success and satisfaction. And at this point in my life...with very little satisfaction. That being said, in time, I hope --in time-- that my Dominant will want to show off and share his toy with others---because he is proud of it and what it can do. I also see myself sitting down beside my dominant and sharing a good meal with him of another.

I prefer interactions that are both exciting and arousing. Without both elements, the result is simply masturbation…whether physical or mental. And I find masturbation very isolating.

I am in no hurry to find my Dominant. (YES, I AM! But I am practicing patience and discipline and I AM LOVING IT!) I want to take my time learning about the lifestyle and its pleasures and torturous pleasures. I have the rest of my life to experience all that life has to offer. I am not good at it, but I love pacing. I look forward to finding someone that will guide me in that.

I need a role model in my Dominant. This concept, that Jade presented in her essay on finding a dominant, resonated strongly with me. I want a man that I can emulate. Therefore, I want a peer: a man close in age to me (32-52), man close in size to me (at least 5’10”), a man with a similar cultural background, a man with comparable intellect and appreciation for learning.

In other words, I am seeking a Dominant that is close to my age. I want a peer. I want to submit to another because I chose to, not because he is a father figure. I like the thought of being yoked beside my Dominant, like a pair of oxen. I work next to him. I want to be useful to him and understand him, but he is the lead ox. He makes the decisions, pulls harder, guides me, and cues me when I am not pulling my share. BUT WE HAVE A COMMON GOAL AND WORK TOGETHER TO ACHIEVE IT! And we both recognize and hugely appreciate that without the other, we cannot achieve that goal.

Related to that “role model” concept, some attributes I seek in a Dominant should go without saying. However, I am learning through my conversations, these are not universal attributes among the men that call themselves Dominants: honorable, respectable, capable of respecting others, willing to discipline himself as well as me, confident, successful in this life, has goals for his life, as goals for me, erotic, sensual, creative, imaginative, introspective, multi-faceted, twisted (and conflicted about being twisted), calm, and passionate. I will be adding to this list as I continue my travels.

I am not interested in a long distance relationship. I need in-person contact to fully understand what is expected of me…and because I need in-person contact!

Additionally, I am not interested in play/sex/romantic relationships with submissives or switches of any race, gender, age, or orientation, etc. If you would like to talk to me as a person, then I am open to that. But I really become annoyed with passive aggressive people that attempt to manipulate me using false pretenses.

I am open to constructive comments about my profile and my thought process. It helps me to better understand my development. Please note however, I do not respond well to comments that include the words “stupid” or “slut.” You simply don’t know me well enough to use language like that with me.