NewSubmissive89

I wanted to clarify in case it hasn't been clear i am Owned by Bradyn C. and I am happily and intensely committed to him and only him; i want no other and need no other . Thus I will not be contacting anyone or responding to any messages unless given explicit permission by my Master. I am under his total control and possession and i would have it no other way....

So I just made my first audio entry I hope it works *fingers crossed*.....

I'm a submissive adrift, without an anchor or paddle to find my way......

Ever get the feeling that what you want is no longer what you want nor need? I suddenly don't know what I want anymore or if what I want is even possible to find. I can't shake the feeling that I may end up making the wrong next move. This scares me a bit because I could end up with someone who isn't right for me because I an simply settling. Do I need to go through a few 'wrong' ones before I find the right one or can I find the right one for me right out the gate. Is he even on here or out there anywhere.....

Also I have a quick thought; why do so many view my profile but only a fourth send me messages? I really do answer each and every one of them and enjoy meeting new people especially Doms. Mostly I just wish those who viewed me and who are interested would message me because what they could be the Dom I am looking for. I really do wish to be owned but by the right Dom for me. So I will wait until he appears or better yet maybe I should find him....

So alas I know what I want and I am going to try my very hardest to go after it. Still looking for that right Dom but I think I am extremely close. Though he maybe especially far...

“I do not want to be the leader. I refuse to be the leader. I want to live darkly and richly in my femaleness. I want a man lying over me, always over me. His will, his pleasure, his desire, his life, his work, his sexuality the touchstone, the command, my pivot. I don’t mind working, holding my ground intellectually, artistically; but as a woman, oh, God, as a woman I want to be dominated. I don’t mind being told to stand on my own feet, not to cling, be all that I am capable of doing, but I am going to be pursued, fucked, possessed by the will of a male at his time, his bidding.” 

This is what I am looking for. This is what I want and what I need. I know this is where I belong I just need to find a Dom to cement me into this lifestyle. I need a Dom to educate me in the proper ways of being a sub. This is the least I will accept, but I want much more...

Does a subs size matter to a Dom? Being plus size I think about this a lot. I want to be physically eye pleasing to my Dom but I also want to be happy with myself. I love my ass ,my breasts, and my thighs and possibly my stomach though I still want to work on it. However, a Dom may not enjoy any of them. Which is funny since about 300 years earlier I would be a highly desirable female among scottish or highland  warlords, actually just plain and simple any warlord or warrior. ;). I know there are Doms out there who would find me  irresistible  but are they on this site ,single, and my type? 

I think its also best to put what I want. I want a Dom who can also have a vanilla relationship with me where I can introduce him as my bf and go out on dates with him. I don't think I could ever want the 24/7 lifestyle, it just isn't for me. I have hopes, desires, and dreams that I want my Dom to encourage and take pride in because it reflects extremely well on him. So if you are looking for a slave I'm not it, I'm merely a sub with somewhat slavish qualities who could never be a true slave.  Also what I look for: At least 5'9, 26-36, educated ( as intellectualism turns me on incredibly), and willing to let me have a small amount of independence outside the bedroom. All else is up for discussion :). 

Being a virgin and inexperienced in all aspects of a relationship I know in my heart that I am submissive. Its always been there. I have always been attracted to more dominant man that exude a power, control, and strength. However, this does not mean physical strength but rather hidden strength that rolls off a Dom in waves.I believe that reason for my submissive lies in how I see my potential Dom.  I want to be inferior to my Dom not for race but for gender. He owns me because a man is intended to own his female, to dominate and control her because she needs it and craves it. But I am not his slave but my Master's protected and cherished property. His lesser equal in every way but sexually which drives me to be better, think faster to try to be his equal but I can't because no matter what I do he will be better at it. Sexually, I match him because I am the submissive to his dominant; I want to revel and awe in the intensity of his dominance.  I want to see him at his most dominant and powerful and bask in the fact that I belong to him.