the 3rd time

unexpected but so wanted, so craved, so needed

the text came late afternoon "if you want to be whipped and humiliated be at the usual pub at 8"

i had plans with friends-i should say no-but somehow my text reply says "yes sir"

did i want this? he knows i want this-he knows i need this

i've tried with others, and its just not the same-

its been 3 weeks since the last time, and i need it

I dress as is usual- short dress, knickerless and smooth

As soon as i saw him it came back, the apprehension, or is it fear, not knowing whether i'm allowed to look at his face, or i look down at the floor-and the voice...... its always the voice-even when not being told

The humiliation starts in the pub-hes showing me the videos of the times before, he's holding the phone at an angle towards me-people behind can see surely, he's lnot looking at them, he's looking at me, looking at my embarressment of seeing my self like that-and the fear that others can see me -i wince at the sound of the belt-sooo loud-did i really really take that?  try to put my hand in front of the screen to sheild myself-then i hear THE voice "move your hand" i beg him to turn it off-instead he turns the volume up- i can only sit and watch- i hate seeing myself like this-but i love his smile-he likes it

This time he takes me to some dirty back street garages at the back of the pub-one is open-did he know this? its still filthy in there. i get the choice-cane or belt- i choose belt- he says "good-cane it is then"

"get in there, bend over, touch your toes, lift your skirt" he orders-i open my mouth to ask a question and was faced with another 4 strokes-i should learn never to question...

i do as i'm told-he comes behind me with the cane- the first stroke is a total shock- do i remember it hurting this much? i bite my lip and brace myself for more- i just want to please him-i can't give up now. i lose count of how many i take again. i try and stay still each time-but the waiting makes me want to move - for which, i recieve more

Not sure whehter its fortunately or unfortunately, but the cane breaks. am i free.. no, he wears a belt. and this time, the belt feels wider and harder and more painful than ever before. but i don't want it to end

the marks are there, not so bad this time-but my reminder until the next time

photo added too:-)

the 2nd caning

and now i know what true caning is. sir was obviously far too lenient wih me the first time.

conveniently-it was called mark street-public-just as he likes it to be. the fear of being caught or the pain of being caned..which is greater?

i guess i was a little smug after the first time- smiling inside on the way there-knowing i've done this before-i can do it again.even though he'd told me that i was to be broken,that this time i would take my punishment, and i would feel it. that i would be sobbing. 

and so... i learnt...that he knows me, knows what i want, knows what i need, knows how far i need to be taken...

headlights on-so as he can see-as he films-firstly all i'm worried about is being caught- the pain i've done before-or so i thought.....

"bend over- touch your toes" he says in that voice- "you want this don't you?"- i don't want to reply as its so wrong to want this isn't it? he says it again-i reply "yes sir"

"ask me for it girl"

"please sir, please give it to me"

The anticipation was there again-but still, i think my smugness remained. It seemed like an age before the cane finally struck. i wasn't sure at first-was this harder? was this sharper than before- after the 4th or 5th  i knew...tears started to prick my eyes-but i stil wanted him to be proud of me. i knew i needed to continue, i needed to show him that i was worthy of his time

I lost count of how many strokes i took-he stopped when i'd had enough and encouraged me to take more, the pain at times was almost too much to bear, but was worth it. i'm proud of these marks-deep and red, and when i sit, it hurts, and reminds me of who i am,and who he is.

and when it was over- i was on my knees, where i belong.

so it happened. my very first caning. naked apart from heels in a country lane bent over the bonnet of my car headlights on. he used my cane. called it my new friend. aparrently ironic it was my own cane.

On the drive there he tapped it repeatedly On the dashboard. Could hardly concentrate On the drive. was I scared. was I excited? I wanted to please him. to show him I could be the best. he lifted my dress higher with the tip. soon there would be welt marks there. we finally arrive at our destination. My dress is No more. underneath I am naked.- as always when I meet him. I remember the waiting. the anticipation. he was whipping it in the air. making a noise is not heard. over and over I hear the sound of this while I'm bent over the car arse in the air waiting. not knowing when it will be.... he asks me if I'm sure. yes sir of course. I close my eyes.....

and i still yearn for those words and the way it was said

"do as your told"

and i did

so-i'm trying to keep up and respond to all-just isn't practical- so have to say, if i don't reply then theres somrthing stopping me, could be distance, age, wants

i'm talking to some special people-you know who you are-and discovering even more about myself.

so- just sorry if i don't reply xxx